Boundaries
by Choice Brogan
Summary: When your Pokémon can talk, it can bring more complications than you might imagine. Particularly when she acts more human than Pokémon, and doesn't see the boundaries between you that everyone else does... This is a M/F human x Pokémon fic, that ol' weird chestnut. Rating is for language at the moment, and other things later on. More detailed summary inside.
1. Chapter 1

**_EXPANDED SUMMARY_**

Boundaries exist for a reason, most say. They're there to protect you, to keep you from doing things that you simply should not do, from going places where you're not allowed. But what happens when those boundaries get shattered? Do you scramble to put them back up before anyone realizes they're broken, to make things "right" again? Or do you simply run on past them, willing to face the dangers and struggles that close in around you in a suddenly angry and judgmental world?

Stone Hardacre never thought it was strange that his Braixen, Fifi, had one day decided to learn how to speak English and start acting less like a Pokémon and more like a human. She was his best friend, after all, and as she explained to him, what good is a best friend that you can't communicate with? And their bond was so strong it seemed to be, by all means, unbreakable. Unfortunately _,_ what seemed like an ordinary, wonderful friendship to them wasn't quite so simple or innocent to the rest of the world...

And perhaps it wasn't quite so simple or innocent for the two of them, either.

* * *

A/N: Well, time for me to make a terrible mistake. I mean, what better way to practice writing in first person AND writing romance of any sort than by writing a fucking human x Pokémon story, right? I suppose I do love me a challenge every now and then, even if it results in a laughably bad shitshow. Well, anyways, absolutely no one is going to believe me, but I have the very best of intentions for this story, honestly. I mean, yeah, there's going to be smut at some point, but it's not going to be an oft-used part of this story, and will be there only when the plot requires it. Somehow, I doubt I'm going to pick up any consistent readers with such a, shall we say, "unpopular" concept, however. But that's fine. I ain't expecting much at all, let alone anything positive.

I'll probably edit this note later on, and also probably touch up the story itself since I'm impatient and it's likely very sloppy. I mean, assuming anyone even reads this garbage in the first place, of course. And uh, figured I should give this the ol' M rating for all the fucks and shits and whatnot, but I guess I can write some gross stuff later on when my mind is feeling particularly depraved and inebriated since that's probably what is expected of all M-Rated romance fics. Apologies if this is not considered M-Rated enough in the meanwhile. Also it's going to take a while for the romance parts to kick in so apologies for that as well if that's what you're here for. But yeah, enough rambling, enjoy, anyone.

Oh and I don't own Pokémon or whatever if we're still doing that.

* * *

 _"This is it, folks. Bottom of the ninth, bases loaded, a full count. Teddies down by just one run, and there is probably no one that this team or their beleaguered fanbase want at the plate more than the kid who is standing up there at this very moment."_

My heart was pounding as I took a moment to call time, seconds before the pitcher readied his stance. The sound of the crowd exhaling in unison surrounded me as if 70,000 balloons had just deflated all at once, but I paid their growing restlessness no heed as I nervously adjusted my batting gloves. I could hardly register the noise in the first place over the sound of my rapidly beating heart, and I could feel my hands shaking with a violence I'd never experienced before, as I struggled to calm down enough to allow them to relax. This wasn't the typical jolt of shaking numbness I would feel when my bat connected with the ball, however. The slow, dull, resonation that works itself down from the bat's barrel into my hands and arms was nothing compared to what I was feeling at that moment.

 _"Time is called by the Teddiursas' young phenom, and I can't say I blame him. At just sixteen years old, the pressure that has been put on him this entire season has been enormous, and it all culminates right here, right now. It doesn't get any bigger than this, and this young man must be certain he is absolutely, completely, 100% ready before he steps back into the batter's box and decides his destiny. He's either going to become the most beloved person in town... Or the most reviled."_

I felt a lump forming in the pit of my stomach as sweat began to pool around the brim of my cap and drip onto my glove. I removed it and my helmet to wipe my brow, then quickly readjusted them as I took a deep breath and made my way back into the batter's box. My hands hadn't settled down at all as I placed a death grip on my bat, holding them as still as I could around the handle as I settled into my stance. The crowd once again rose to their feet, and I could hear the Wintermint Field faithful begin to chant my name.

"Stone! Stone! Stone!"

It started quietly at first, but soon enough, it seemed as if the entire crowd was chanting my name in unison.

"STONE! STONE! STOOOOOOOOOOONE!"

The pitcher was taking forever to set his stance, as he continued to shake off his catcher's calls, likely just as nervous as I was. All the while, the crowd began to chant my name louder and more fervently, with such an intensity and focus that it slowly began to sound less like my name and more like a steady, rhythmic buzzing... A very annoying buzzing, at that.

"BZZT! STOOOOOOOOONE! BZZT! STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!"

As the pitcher finally set and brought himself into the windup, I could hardly concentrate, so loud and frenzied had the crowd become. I couldn't even hear myself think anymore, as all I could hear was my name being screamed in one ear, and that damned buzzing blaring in the other.

But no matter. I would prevail. I was not about to lose the World Championship for my beloved Teddiursas. I was gonna do it. I was gonna break their stupid, so-called "curse". I was gonna be a hero. And I wasn't gonna let anything distract me from that.

 _The pitcher's set..._

 _He's in the windup..._

 _Here it comes..._

He let loose the ball, and I tightened my grip on the bat to an impossible degree as every muscle in my body clenched in anticipation of the swing. The pitch was coming in fast and hot, but time itself seemed to slow to a crawl as I entered 'the zone', my eyes locked on the ball as everything around it became little more than a mess of blurry shapes and colors. The ball, however, was still crystal clear, my eyes registering every single, solitary stitch as it scorched its way closer and closer towards the plate...

...Wait...

I-It wasn't heading towards the plate at all... I-It was heading straight for my head! Th-That thing had to be going over a hundred miles per hour! O-Oh God, th-this wasn't how it was supposed to happen! Sniped by a beanball on the grandest stage of them all! I won't even get to live to see whether we win or lose! It isn't fair! I don't want to die! I DON'T WANT TO-

...W-Wait a minute... That isn't a baseball... Is it? No, it couldn't be... As it drew dangerously close to my face and I could get a closer look, I realized that it looked an awful lot like-

 _*SMACK*_

"YEEOWCH!"

My eyes jolted open as a sharp, stinging pain began to course through my cheek. I instinctively brought my hand up to it to rub it and dull the pain, but my hand instead smacked into something hard and plastic, mercifully stopping the unrelenting buzzing noise that had continued to stab into my ear throughout everything. My eyes darted to my alarm clock as it clattered to the floor and came unplugged from the wall in the process, ending its vile buzzing for good. My gaze quickly returned to the figure that had been holding the alarm clock to my ear, however, and I let out an annoyed groan at the sight of my 'sweet', 'darling' Braixen, Fifi, who was sitting bowlegged on my chest as if it were the back of a horse and giving me one of her patentedly annoying 'innocent' smiles.

"Gosh, Stone. I know you hate getting up, but there's no need to assault your poor alarm clock so violently. It was only doing its job, after all."

I scowled, and gave her an icy glare that only served to make her giggle. Normally, I would find her antics cute, but they only served to piss me off even further when I was in such a cranky, morning mood. Something she knew all too well.

"I don't recall the clock's job being to assault my senses to the point where they invade my sweet, sweet dreams." I muttered, lamenting the loss of my dreamland superstardom as my face continued to throb slightly from where she had no doubt smacked me. "And also, ow, what have I told you about using Wake-Up Slap on me?"

"Well, I _tried_ other alternatives." she replied, folding her arms and closing her eyes matter-of-factly. "You wouldn't respond no matter how loud I called your name, and the alarm obviously failed miserably at its one job, so I had to resort to drastic measures." Her face quickly took on an accusatory look. "But hey, don't you get upset at _me_ about it, _**you're**_ the one who told me to make sure you didn't oversleep today, I'm just following your orders, _Master_ ~."

Ugh... Why in the world would I ever give her such awful orders? What could possibly have been so important that I would give Fifi free reign to-

"Oh, come on." Fifi's arms shifted to her hips as her expression turned into one of annoyance, no doubt guessing exactly what I was thinking. "Don't tell me you've forgotten what today is?"

I shot her a look of annoyance back. "Of course I haven't! How could I possibly forget?" I exclaimed, folding my arms in defiance, or at least as best I could with her taking up most of my chest space.

"Oh yeah? Then what _is_ today?"

I stared back at her as she refolded her own arms. Ignoring the thought that we probably looked ridiculous giving each other death glares with our arms folded in such close proximity to each other, I strugglingly searched my still not-quite-awake mind for the answer to her question. Blinking dumbly for a few seconds, I slowly and dopily uttered the only thing that came to mind. "...S-Saturday...?"

Fifi let out a groan, rolling her eyes at me before shaking her head into her palm and giving me one of 'those' looks. "Oh, _honestly_ , Stone... You would be hopeless without me, you know that?"

I resisted the urge to scoff and roll my eyes back at her. Much as I wanted to, I was in no position to tick her off, either literally or figuratively. Instead, I decided to drop the combatitiveness from my voice, and replace it with a healthy dose of sarcasm. "Yes, Fifi, I wouldn't be able to even get out of bed in the morning if you weren't there to help me. But, as it just so happens, I also can't get out of bed right now _because_ of you, so do you think you could stop straddling me and tell me what's so damn important already?"

"Oh, if I must." she dully replied with false disappointment, taking a moment to smile and peck me on the nose before hopping off of my chest to the floor, expunging all of the air from my lungs in the process. As I laid there wheezing, she let out another carefree giggle. "Whoops, sorry! Didn't mean to push down on you like that!"

"Just... Speak..." I wheezed.

"Well, I _still_ don't know how you could have possibly forgotten, but today is 'the day', Stone."

I blinked blankly. "...The day?"

"Yes, Stone, it's only the day you've been waiting for for the past two months." Fifi proclaimed dryly, shaking her head at me in disbelief of my swiss cheese memory.

I racked my brain intensely for a moment, before my eyes flew wide open in realization.

"Oh, shit. _Oh shit._ _**Oh shit**_!" I exclaimed giddily, unable to contain myself as I jumped out of bed and began hopping up and down in excitement. 'Today's the day, Feefs!"

"I'm aware."

"It's the day! Today's the day!" I continued to chant, a stupid grin spreading across my face. "The day we finally get to leave this dumb little podunk town, Fifi! The day our destinies unfold before us! Today is the first day of the rest of our lives!"

"Aren't you being just a _little_ bit dramatic there, Stone?" Fifi chided. "I mean, I know you're excited and all, but it's just some dumb school..."

Now it was my turn to give Fifi a look of disbelief. "What? School? _**School**_?! Fifi, please, this is not just 'some dumb school', this is the 'LeMasters Academy of Pokémon Excellency'! This is one of the top Pokémon Academies in the world we're talking about here! This is the opportunity of a lifetime, Feef! I... I just still can't believe that I'm getting this chance at all, it feels like some sort of dream!"

Fifi raised her eyebrow. "I thought your dream was to play for the Teddiursas, though?"

"Oh, it still is. Uncle Bob says they have a baseball team at the academy, so I'll have plenty of time to keep my skills sharp." I exclaimed, before sighing and losing a bit of the luster from my confident expression. "But... Let's be real here, Fi. I'm terrible at baseball. Always have been, always will be. It doesn't matter how hard I try or how much I practice at it, I'm just never going to be anything more than mediocre at it."

"Stone..." Fifi gave me a look of sympathy. She knew more than anyone how hard I've tried to become a good baseball player. She's been there by my side throughout the whole process, helping me along. She's always been my personal cheerleader, even when everyone else around me made it blatantly obvious to me in not so many words that I really sucked and was wasting my time. I could tell she had some rousing speech prepared to make me feel better and to try to convince me that nothing is impossible. But I didn't want her to have to waste her breath, so I quickly put on a smile.

"But this is different. I actually have potential as a Pokémon Trainer. **WE** have potential, Fi. It was always a secondary hobby to me growing up, but... Well, you know what everyone says, it runs in the family, and we already make an incredible team, apparently. I mean, you do most of the work, I know, but..."

"I wouldn't know what to do without you there though, Stone. You know that." Fifi replied instantly. "A Pokémon is nothing without their Trainer. I may be good at fighting, but you're the one with all the strategies. Without you, I'm clueless as to what to do."

I shook my head and let out a short laugh. "I don't think you'd be clueless, Fifi. I'm pretty sure you're smarter than I am, but thank you for trying to make me feel equal."

"Oh, stop being so stubborn, Stone." Fifi said in annoyance. "We're a team, plain and simple. And like you said, we're an _awesome_ team, no one can beat us!"

"Well, no one around _here_ can beat us, anyways..." I stated hesitantly. "LeMasters is a whole different story, though. This is a place exclusively for students with high skills, high potential, or high connections, so we won't be giant Gyaradoses in a small pond anymore." My expression darkened further as the same nagging thoughts that had been gnawing at me since I first found out I had been enrolled at LeMasters came crawling back to the forefront of my mind. "...I don't think you'll be able to effortlessly avoid everything there, Fi. You might... Um... You might actually get hurt..."

"Well, as much as I don't feel like one most of the time, I _am_ a Pokémon, Stone. I'm built to withstand punishment, and if you really want to become a Pokémon Trainer, it's something I'm just going to have to get used to."

I cringed immediately at Fifi's words. "Gah... It sounds even worse when you say it like that... God, I'm a selfish asshole... I... I shouldn't make you do this, Fifi... Maybe we shouldn't go after all..."

Fifi shook her head, letting out an exasperated sigh before smiling at me. "Don't do that stupid self-loathing thing, Stone. You're not a selfish asshole, and you're not 'making' me do anything. This is my choice too, you know, I know you would never force me to do anything I didn't want to do. Besides, I _like_ battling with you, silly. I want to get stronger so I can keep you safe, and so that you can accomplish at least one of your dreams. If I end up getting hurt and faint, then oh well, that's just part of battling. I'm not going to like you any less just because you 'let' me faint or anything like that, I'm not like most Pokémon, which I'd hoped you would have realized by now. I know that this is something you really want, and if it makes you happy, then it makes me happy too. You spoil and pamper me like I'm a princess, so I'll do anything for you if it means making you happy, my 'prince'. Teeheehee...~"

I furrowed my brow and instinctively looked down as I could feel face flush. "Ugh, why do you always have to say things like that in such a goopy manner?"

"Aw, you already know the answer to that, Stone!" Fifi said with a coy little wink. "Do you _really_ want me to say it out loud?"

"Please no." I said without a second thought, groaning inwardly at the mere threat of hearing another one of Fifi's shameless public declarations of love for me. I knew she didn't mean anything by them… At least, I don't _think_ she meant anything by them… But I also knew what most people would automatically assume if they heard her saying such things to me… And that definitely wasn't a headache I wanted to be dealing with anytime soon. "And please, for the love of _**God**_ , do not say anything even close to that at LeMasters, it's going to be difficult enough dealing with all the attention you're going to be getting in general, the last thing I need is for people there to think that I… Um, w-well, you know…"

Fifi's demeanor drooped considerably as she sighed and gave me an understanding nod, and for a moment, I felt a twinge of remorse for saying things so sharply. "…Of course. Don't worry, I won't embarrass you… At least, not on purpose, heeheeheehee…~"

I let out a sigh of my own and shook my head as Fifi's carefree mood returned in an instant, as if it had never left. Honestly… It was almost a running joke to me at this point whenever Fifi did this anymore. I mean, I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it and she only did it because she knew it got me flustered so easily, but… That look of disappointment didn't look nearly as forced as the smile she put on immediately afterwards. But then, who's to say she wasn't just putting that on as well, knowing that I would notice it? Gah… As much as I loved her, Fifi could be frustratingly difficult to figure out sometimes. Pathetic, since she's only been my best friend and companion for half my life, but it was nearly impossible for me to tell when she was being serious a lot of the time, and even harder to figure out if she was actually genuinely upset. Anytime she shows any sign of it and I notice it, she'll go out of her way to hide it, but since she's just so carefree and lighthearted most of the time anyways, I can't ever tell when she's faking it or not. It's almost embarrassing how much better she has me figured out in comparison…

"…So, are you just gonna stand there in your underwear staring at me all day, or are we going to actually start the 'rest of our lives' anytime soon?" Fifi said, placing her hand on her hip and smirking as she caught me with my head in the clouds. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I enjoy the view and all, but…"

"Right, yeah, that'd probably be a good idea…" I muttered, shaking my thoughts away to focus on more important things, like keeping Fifi from finishing that sentence. Walking over to my closet, I spent a moment fruitlessly searching through my embarrassingly messy wardrobe before noticing that someone had already taken the liberty of preparing an outfit for me. My favorite outfit, actually, and exactly what I was looking for in the first place. Sitting neatly folded on Fifi's personal stepping stool, it didn't take a genius to finger the culprit.

"You're welcome." Fifi said, smiling brightly at me as soon as I noticed her handiwork.

"Thanks, Fi." I replied, smiling back. For all the time she spent purposefully annoying me, Fifi could be really sweet when she wanted to be. Which, admittedly, was most of the time. She probably wasn't really lying when she said I was hopeless without her… Er, regardless, I quickly scooped up the clothes Fifi had set out for me and carried them with me into the bathroom to begin my morning routine. Fifi, of course, followed soon after, carrying her stool.

"You know, I'm quite capable of grooming myself, thanks." I stated dryly, preparing my toothbrush as Fifi set her stool down right next to me and stepped up on it so she could see over the sink.

"That's debatable." said Fifi with a small laugh. "But you're not the only one that needs to get ready, you know."

I rolled my eyes as I handed her her pink toothbrush. "Fine, but you're NOT staying in here while I shower."

"Of course, wouldn't dream of it." Fifi responded, before a sly grin spread across her face. "Well, no, that's a lie… But don't worry, I'll make sure to keep that scenario in said dreams only."

"Thanks." I scoffed as I squeezed toothpaste onto both of our brushes. "Please though, do feel free to keep that kind of information to yourself next time, would you?"

"No promises."

"Of course not…"

I sighed heavily, deciding to just ignore her for the time being. As I stared at myself in the mirror, I let out another sigh inwardly. I definitely got the short end of the stick when it came to looks in my family. I mean, I suppose I wasn't exactly 'ugly', but I sure was dull looking compared to the rest of my family. My dad is as rugged and manly as you would expect from a man with the name Slate Hardacre. My mom is as pretty as a postcard, as dad liked to say. Big bro looks every bit the part of the Cool Trainer that he is. And my little sister is 'cursed with cuteness', according to mom, at least. Both of them take after mom and have hair as bright as the sun and eyes like oceans cascading and shimmering beneath it, and dad's beard would make the toughest of mountain men envious. They look like a lumberjack, a movie star, an all-pro quarterback, and a graceful ballerina. Me, though? Hair the color of a dim, dying light bulb. Eyes like mud puddles. A figure like a scarecrow; tall, skinny, yet somehow still lumpy. 'Lanky', as mom (incorrectly) puts it. I doubt most people would even notice I was standing right in front of them if I didn't have a talking Pokémon attached to my hip at all times. And of course, standing next to Fifi all the time makes me stand out even less, since she's so… Well, cute. And she doesn't even have to try, she just looks like that naturally.

…Of course, that doesn't stop her from taking twenty minutes or more to brush all her damn hair into place so it's 'just' perfect. Or, sorry, _fur_. She hates it when I call it hair, says it makes her sound like a 'gross old man'. I simply rolled my eyes as I watched her meticulously brush her earfur so that it curled in perfect symmetry.

"You know you're pretty enough as it is, you don't have to spend so much time doing that every day." I grumbled as I put our toothbrushes away and began to make my way over to the toilet.

Fifi stopped her obsessive brushing to look at me. "…You really think I'm pretty?"

"Well, yeah, duh." I said with a shrug, figuring I had stated the obvious. "You're really pretty, for a Pokémon. I'm sure all the boy Pokémon at LeMasters are gonna be horndogging after you something fierce, hehe."

"Oh…" Fifi's face faltered momentarily, before quickly turning back towards the mirror in a huff as she started brushing even more vigorously. "Well, tough, because I'm not interested in any stupid Pokémon. That's just gross." I was getting ready to remind her she was still a Pokémon herself, but she wasn't done talking. "And also, I don't need a reason to want to look pretty other than I'm a girl, so shut up."

Right. Not a Pokémon. Just a girl. Whatever floats her boat. Meanwhile, I had more pressing matters to attend to.

"Yeah, okay, whatever you say, princess. Just, try and hurry it up, alright? I gotta fake the _**FUNK**_ out of a nasty dunk, and I don't think that's something even _you_ would appreciate being an audience for."

"True, I'm not really into that kind of stuff, but don't go putting words in my mouth like that, Stone." she replied, grinning deviously once again. "I mean, I wouldn't mind if you put some _other_ things in my mouth, but-"

"Jesus _Christ_ , would you stop saying such horrifying shit and let me poop in peace already?!"

* * *

Sheesh, that sure took you long enough." Fifi exclaimed almost immediately once I exited the bathroom, squeaky clean and fully dressed. "I don't understand how you can take so long showering, I mean, I'm completely covered in fur and also a girl, and you _still_ end up taking like twice as long as I do in there."

I scoffed as I walked over to where she sat at my computer desk. "Oh, please. I think about 75% of that time was spent passing that god-awful pile of flaming logs. Man, I don't know what the hell Flint put in that chili of his, but I know better than to ever sample that shit for him anymore, that's for damn sure. Regardless of all that crap, though, _please_ tell me you haven't been visiting more sites that mom and dad will be mortified by if they see them in my search history."

"No, not today." Fifi replied, swiveling back around in the chair to face the computer screen. "I was just reading up on that dumb school a bit. And geez, I kind of see why you're so jazzed about this place. They have EVERYTHING there, at least according to their website. Remind me again how _we_ managed to get invited to such a high class place?"

"Same way that Flint got in; Uncle Bob." I responded. "He's a famous Gym Leader and a decorated military man, so he's got friends in all kinds of high places. That's why he's the best, because there is no way in hell we would be able to get into such a prestigious place otherwise."

"Ah, right, good ol' Uncle Bob." Fifi said, nodding in acknowledgment. "Still, do you really think we'll fit in there? You don't really give off that air of privileged and entitled that all the people in the website pictures seem to exude."

I gave a small shrug. "Eh. Flint seemed to get along there just fine, and I wouldn't exactly call him either of those things. I mean, cocksure and insufferably full of himself, sure, but he knows just as well as we do what living in the pit of poverty and despair felt like, so if they were willing to accept him, than I don't see why I would have any problems. And well, even if I do, I doubt they'll be paying much attention to me anyways with you by my side."

"Ugh. I just don't understand it." Fifi said with a scoff, shaking her head as she hopped out of her chair. "I shouldn't be so 'unique', learning English wasn't hard at all. Yet, everyone acts like I'm so incredibly rare and just, bleah. I just want to be able to hang out with you like a normal person, without everyone treating me like I'm something special or weird. Is that so hard to ask for?"

"Well, I mean…" I scratched my head as I tried to think of a good way to phrase things. "…You kind of _are_ special, Fifi. Even if you don't feel that way, there really aren't that many Pokémon in the world who have been able to learn a human language and adapt to our society like you have. To me, yeah, you're just my best friend, it's really weird to think of you as a Pokémon most of the time, because I'm just so used to being around you, but to everyone else, seeing a Pokémon talk and act like you do is probably pretty shocking."

"Pfft, I don't know why…" Fifi muttered, folding her arms and sulking in that adorable way that I loved so much. "I'm sure most Pokémon would be able to learn just as easily if they and their trainers took the time to do so…"

"I'm not so sure about that, Fi…" I said, as I began to shut down my computer and gather my personal belongings. "I don't know if most Pokémon have the initiative to do something like that, since I'm sure plenty of trainers and researchers and professors have wasted countless years trying to teach their Pokémon to speak to no avail. Remember, you were the one who learned in the first place, I had almost nothing to do with it."

"Yeah, I know…" Fifi groaned, her features slumping even further. "…I just… I didn't want you to be so lonely. I wanted to be more for you than just a dumb Pokémon…"

"And you have been, Fifi." I said with a smile, sticking my finger under her chin and lifting her face up so she could see mine. "You've been the raddest friend I could ever possibly ask for, and you're more important to me than anything else. For all the rotten, awful, bad-luck things that have plagued me throughout my life, your presence has more than made up for all of it. So long as I have you with me, the rest of the world can keep shitting on me and using me as its personal punching bag all it wants, I don't care. So don't act like you being 'special' or whatever is a bad thing, and pay no mind to anyone who thinks you're weird. Just keep being you, Fifi, because I wouldn't have you any other way."

"…Aw, Stone…" Fifi said, letting out a small sniffle as she smiled back and gave me a hug. "That's why I love you so much. You've always treated me like anyone else, even before I learned to 'be human', so I don't mind being special to you… Teeheehee~…"

"Urgh… Just remember to keep that kind of talk to a minimum in public, please…" I muttered in embarrassment as Fifi let go of me and giggled.

"Yeah, yeah…" Fifi replied, rolling her eyes before quickly resuming her smile. "Hey, but we should probably get a move on, don't you think? It's already almost nine, and we have to be ready to leave by ten, don't we?"

"Ah, shoot, you're right." I exclaimed, glancing at my watch and seeing that it was indeed nearly nine o'clock. Opening the door, I stood aside and held out my arms, gesturing for Fifi to exit first, as was only polite.

"My, such a gentleman." Fifi exclaimed, giving me a sarcastic smirk as she exited out into the hallway. "And they say chivalry is dead."

"You probably don't even know what that means." I scoffed, following her out, my computer under one arm and my suitcase handle firmly clutched in my other hand as I struggled to shut the door behind me. Thankfully, Fifi did it for me before I wasted very much time on the hopeless task.

"You're welcome." she said, grinning smugly.

"…Thanks." I muttered back, following her as she skipped merrily down the stairs with a spring in her step and an annoyingly catchy tune on her lips, my own gait decidedly less jaunty as I slowly lugged my heavy ass suitcase down each step. Once I finally reached the bottom, I prayed for mercy in the form of a ground floor room at LeMasters, then quickly caught up to Fifi, who was already waiting at the kitchen table alongside the rest of my family. As I entered myself, I was greeted by the smell of bacon sizzling alongside the smiling faces of my loved ones, and for a moment, I had trouble deciding which of those things I was more unaccustomed to experiencing.

"Geez, what a Slowpoke." Fifi chided, sniggering at the annoyed look that had formed on my face.

"Sorry, kinda hard to pull a suitcase down a flight of stairs with any sense of speed unless I don't mind breaking my neck in the process. Which I do mind. Very much." I replied, setting my computer down on the kitchen table so I could fold my arms and give Fifi a _proper_ annoyed look.

"Maybe if you didn't try to cram half of everything you own in there?" My little sister Jade chimed in, giving a wary glance at my bulging, nearly bursting suitcase as I took my place at the table between her and Fifi.

My big brother, Flint, snorted and nodded in agreement. "Yeah, dude, it's not like you're going off to some sort of third world country or something. The only shit you really need to bring with you is clothes and your computer, and you really don't need that many clothes either since they make you wear those stuffy, lame-ass uniforms during class. They provide toiletries and all that other shit."

"…Oh." I said dumbly, before turning my look of irritation to Flint. "Why the hell didn't you tell me that beforehand, then?"

"You didn't ask." Flint responded, flashing me a shit-mongering grin. I merely sighed and shook my head at him in exasperation, not wanting to waste my breath getting into a pointless bitchfest with him.

"Of course…" I muttered, eager to change the subject. "Well, while I have the chance to ask, do you have any other points of advice you can give me about LeMasters before I go to live there for the next half a year, oh dearest brother of mine?"

"Well…" Flint began, bringing his hand up to his chin to try and look 'thoughtful'. "…Nope. Not really." He shrugged and gave me another carefree grin.

I let out a groan. "Oh, come on, I'm serious here, Flint."

'Hey, so am I!" Flint said, putting his hands up defensively. "For real, I can't think of anything about LeMasters that you really need to know about before going there and finding out about it yourself. I mean, even a dork like you shouldn't have much trouble fitting in, the whole school's one of those, uh, whadaya-call-its, a melting pot, or whatever, it ain't just for trainers. They have courses for Rangers and Breeders and Coordinators and all kinds of shit. It's pretty chill as far as schools go, so long as you don't act like some sort of total douchecake I don't think you'll have much to worry about, brosious. I mean, the only trouble I can think of that you might run into is how everyone there will react to your girlfriend, but I mean, I'm sure you guys are used to dealing with that by now."

"Well, yeah, I'm way ahead of you there." I replied, before quickly double-taking to rebut Flint's choice of words. "W-Wait, no, fuck off with that girlfriend shit, already! That stopped being funny the first time you said it."

"Maybe, but it hasn't stopped being any less true since then, either." Flint remarked, letting out one of his obnoxious laughs.

"Alright, boys, that's enough of that."

Flint's laughter quickly subsided, as we both turned to look at our father's intimidating visage peering out at us from behind his paper.

"Now, you boys know better than to use that kind of language around your little sister." Dad said in as stern a voice as he was capable of mustering, quickly losing and regaining his composure as mom cleared her throat menacingly behind him. "Er, I-I mean, you know better than to use that kind of language _period_."

Hearing Jade snickering behind us, Flint and I both shot her dirty looks before turning towards our parents with much more innocent expressions. "Sorry…" We both muttered half-heartedly, which thankfully was enough… For dad, at least.

"Just be lucky that neither of you are going to be sticking around long enough to be grounded." Mom said in a less-than-pleased tone, before softening her voice and smiling brightly at me as she began to fix our plates. "But now's not the time to be dwelling on things like that, anyways. My little Stoney… I just can't believe it. Sixteen already, and ready to go off on your own for the first time, just like your big brother before you. I can't put into words just how proud of you we all are."

"Ah, th-thanks, ma…" I said in slight embarrassment, my stomach growling fiercely as the smell from the bacon and eggs wafted up from my plate, eliciting a small giggle from Fifi beside me. "You know I'm not really going off on my own, though, so you don't really have to worry about that." I said, nudging Fifi and grinning.

"…Yes, I know." Mom replied, as she glanced over at Fifi. "But your Pokémon doesn't really count, dear."

Fifi's ears noticeably drooped at mom's words, a sight which, if mom noticed it, didn't seem to elicit much of a reaction from her. Which was par for the course, unfortunately… Even though they had been around Fifi for as long as I had, and had gotten just as used to her talking and acting like a person, the rest of my family still treated her as if she were just my Pokémon more often than not, albeit one that they carried on conversations with on a daily basis. I knew this frustrated Fifi more than anything else, but she was too polite (or possibly afraid) to speak up about it herself, so I took it upon myself to go to bat for her.

"Mom, she's not just my Pokémon. She's my friend first and foremost, you know that." I proclaimed, giving Fifi a look of reassurance.

"…I know, dear." Mom replied, though I could tell she was just saying that to placate me like usual. "I know she's your friend, Stone… But that doesn't change the fact that she's still your Pokémon."

"What does that even matter, though?" I asked in slight annoyance, poking at one of my eggs as everyone else besides Fifi began to dig in to their food with much more vigor. "She acts as much like a person as any of us do, you know. I mean, you just served her breakfast as if she were part of the family. Which she is, isn't she?"

"Yes, dear, of course she is…" Mom responded, taking her place next to dad and shooting him a quick, somewhat odd glance before turning her attention back towards me, putting on one of her overly sweet smiles in the process. "I just meant…" As her gaze drifted to Fifi, she stopped, her face faltering slightly as she seemed to be reluctant to finish her sentence.

"…Yes?" I asked, after a moment of awkward silence other than the clink of silverware and Flint's disgustingly loud chewing.

Mom, rather than give me a straight answer, began to converse in whispers with dad, occasionally looking back up at me and giving me another one of her forced smiles. Shaking my head in exasperation, I figured whatever mom had meant, I obviously wasn't meant to know it, and began to focus on eating. As I started chowing down, however, my eyes drifted over to Fifi's plate, which had been hardly touched at all. Looking up at her, I could tell that she was still bothered by whatever it was mom was trying to say about her. For as happy and carefree as she was when it was just the two of us, Fifi still had anxiety issues when it came to acting quite so naturally around anyone else, my parents in particular, for whatever reason. As I stared at her, she noticed the concerned look I was giving her and quickly brightened her expression, before daintily stabbing at her eggs and dunking her bread in it in the most prim and proper way you could imagine, just the way she had learned to all those years ago from that dumb human etiquette book she had insisted I buy for her with my precious allowance. I couldn't help but smile though, just at all the extra unnecessary effort she put in around everyone else to seem as human as possible, which only managed to make her stick out even more next to all the slobs in my family.

"Oh, this bacon is wonderful, ma'am!" Fifi exclaimed to mom once she had finished her first piece, trying her best to break up the tension that had crept up on the table. To her credit, everyone else quickly chimed in in agreement, as something as deliciously unhealthy as bacon and fried eggs had become a scarce rarity in our household as of late, due to the health food kick mom had been on thanks to all those dumb talk shows she watched in the morning telling her she was poisoning us all to an early, doublewide grave. I think I may have been looking forward to eating things that had actual flavor again on a daily basis more than anything else about LeMasters, come to think of it.

"…Thank you, Fifi." Mom replied, smiling curtly and nodding back. Fifi's face drooped again slightly at the less than heartfelt response she had gotten from her. I cleared my throat noisily and began to speak, to try and get Fifi's mind off of it, and hopefully mom's, too.

"Oh, so hey, Flint, how does the rooming work, anyways?" I asked, the question one I had been meaning to ask for some time anyways. "Is it automated, or do we get to pick our own roommates?"

"Totally automated." Flint said, little flecks of egg and bread shooting from his mouth as he spoke and chewed at the same time, earning him one of mom's terrifying looks of disappointment. He wisely decided to take his time to finish chewing and swallowing before continuing. "The rooms are nice and big, but you have to share them with three other dudes, and it's just, ugh. Two of my roommates were totally cool, but that third one was so fu- _ **f-flipping**_ annoying… He was one of those super preachy Ranger wannabes, the kind that go on and on about how we're enslaving Pokémon by catching them and all that crap. Total freaking lunatic. Sure hope you don't get stuck with one of those weirdos, bro… Though man, thinkin' about it, I kinda wanna see what their reaction would be to Fifi, that idiot thought I was spewing butthole sewage when I tried to tell him about you two, hehehehe."

"Oh yeah, I remember you going on about that guy when you came home." I said, letting out a small shudder. "I figured they would at the very least group everyone together by their main course of study…"

"Nope, totally random, bro." said Flint. "Only filter they have is the one keeping the guys and the girls separate from each other, sad to say. But I mean, you already have a girlfriend, and you get to have her stay with you on a technicality anyways, so you don't really have anything to complain about there."

I rolled my eyes at him, not even bothering to dignify that with a proper response. "Yeah, whatever."

Mom chose that moment to clear her throat _very_ loudly, ensuring that all eyes in the room turned to her. Even so, she still took a moment to exchange another sideways glance with dad before tentatively speaking up. "Ah, Stoney, while we're on the subject of your lodging situation, do you think your father and I could have a word with you about that in private once we've all finished eating?"

I stopped chewing and returned the odd look mom was giving me with one of my own. "Uh… Yeah, sure." I said, shrugging. Mom merely smiled back at me in that overly-sweet way she always did when she needed to say something 'disappointing', and dad nodded and grunted gruffly in approval before quickly putting his paper wall back up, something he did whenever he was nervous and didn't want to make eye contact. I had the distinct feeling that whatever it was they wanted to talk to me about in private was not going to be to my liking at all.

The rest of breakfast, predictably, went by awkwardly and in near silence, the only notable noises coming from dad grumbling about the Teddiursas continuing their now-record 24 game losing streak. Well, at least they were good at _something_ … Still, even the legendary woes of my favorite awful baseball team that would normally get me ranting and raving were having a difficult time distracting me from the sense of dread that was beginning to form in my stomach. I got the feeling that Fifi was probably getting that same sensation, as she had suddenly developed the same difficulty finishing breakfast as I had. Nevertheless, once breakfast was finally finished and the dishes were cleared away, I followed mom and dad upstairs to their room, where they made sure to shut the door behind us so Fifi couldn't 'accidentally' follow me in, even though she had promised she would stay downstairs until we were done. I looked across the room at them nervously, failing at my attempt to appear calm and collected.

"S-So, what's up?" I asked, my eyes darting between mom and dad's. "Has something happened that I should be worried about regarding my room situation at LeMasters? Oh, don't tell me, I'm stuck on like the fifth floor or something…?"

"N-No, dear, nothing like that…" Mom replied, sounding almost as nervous as me, curiously enough. She glanced over at dad again, who stood as stoic and uncomfortably as ever, before continuing. "It's just that… Your father and I have been thinking, and we were just wondering… Do you really think it's a good idea for you to bring Fifi with you, dear…?"

I blinked blankly. I… Had not been expecting that.

"…What?" I asked, giving mom a look of utter confusion. Dad spoke up before mom had a chance to, though it was obviously not by choice.

"…W-Well, son, it's just that… This will be kind of a fresh start for you, you have a chance to meet all sorts of new people and make some real friends for once."

Mom jerked her elbow into dad's ribs, and I could tell from the look on his face that he immediately regretted what he had said. But I didn't care.

"Wait, what? _Real_ friends?" I spat, unsure of who to be insulted for more between myself and Fifi. It didn't matter either way, it pissed me off regardless. "What is _that_ supposed to mean?"

"N-No, your father didn't mean it like that, Stone!" Mom exclaimed in a panic, shooting dad an icy glare that only caused him to wilt even further. "We know, Fifi is your best friend, and you don't want to be separated from her. But it's just that, you haven't really had much of a chance to meet people or do much of anything really without her being there with you. We just figured that you might want to spend just a little bit of time on your own, is all."

I quickly shook my head. "Yeah, no, pretty much everyone has their Pokémon with them wherever they go, mom. I mean, Flint brought his Pokémon with him, why would I not want to bring Fifi with me?"

"W-Well, it's just that… Fifi's not really a 'normal' Pokémon, sweetie…" said mom, giving me another one of her disarming smiles. "Most people aren't used to talking Pokémon that act the way she does, and as an extension to that, they're probably not accustomed to seeing a trainer and Pokémon that interact with each other the way you two do, either. I mean, we've gotten used to it, but to other people, we're worried that it might come off as a little… W-Well, strange, is all. And we don't want you _or_ Fifi to have to deal with any undue stress or anything that that kind of attention might bring you when you should be there to learn and relax and make friends, Stoney."

I stood in dumbstruck silence for a moment, before shaking my head once again. "Uh, ma, I'm happy to know you're so concerned about us, but, you know, I'm kind of used to those types of reactions by now. And you know once people are around Fifi for any amount of time, they eventually get used to her, just like you guys have." I let out a nervous, humorless chuckle. "And I mean, remember, the whole reason I'm going there in the first place is to become a better trainer, and that'd be kinda hard to do without my Pokémon, don'tcha think?"

"Y-Yes honey, we know…" Mom said, nodding along and obviously disregarding my words. "But you know, they do have rental Pokémon there, you don't _have_ to bring Fifi just for that…"

"I'm _not_ bringing her just for that, mom!" I said indignantly. "I'm bringing her because I _want_ her to be there with me, I shouldn't need any other reason, should I? So why don't you guys want me to bring her? You've never had any problem with me taking her with me anywhere before… Plus, you know how miserable she gets when I have to leave her for any extended periods of time."

"Yes, Stone, we know." Mom replied, the exasperation in her voice becoming more prominent with every word. "That… That's one of the reasons we think this might be for the best, for both of you."

"What?!" I cried. "How the hell would leaving Fifi behind and making both of us miserable in the process be for the best, mom?!"

Dad let out a raspy sigh and shook his head at me. "Stone, please, don't speak to your mother like that." I rolled my eyes and scoffed in disgust, prompting him to let out another, heavier sigh as he grasped my shoulder and looked me square in the eyes. "Stone, we know you can't see it, but your mother and I are just worried that you and Fifi are a little too attached to one another. The way she sulks and acts like the world is ending whenever you're not around is a prime example of that, and I know you're just going to say it's because she's your Pokémon, but I don't think that's all it is, Stone. I mean, it's great that you guys have such a strong bond with one another, but in retrospect, I don't think it was a very good idea for you to teach her how to speak and let her act the way she does. I know she thinks she's a human, but she's not, buddy, and the more you encourage that part of her, the harder it's going to be for you to ever separate yourself from her whenever you decide you want to move on in your life. I mean, you can't have her around you all the time forever, son, eventually you're going to find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, and when you do, do you really think Fifi is going to be very happy to 'share' you with her? Or even worse, do you think any self-respecting woman is going to tolerate having to 'share' you with _her_? We know you're still letting her sleep in your bed with you, and that was fine when she was a Fennekin, but… That kind of behavior isn't appropriate for her to be doing anymore, and that's exactly the kind of stuff you need to stop allowing her to do and think is okay, Stone. You two might think it's innocent, but others won't. And besides that, you're old enough to start carving your own path in life, and you really can't do that with Fifi as anything but just your Pokémon. We just… Think it's time for you to start letting go of Fifi as your friend, and start letting her know that she's only a Pokémon."

My mind had gone numb with shock. It was rare for dad to speak with such conviction about something… And I knew he hadn't meant to make me feel bad or hurt me by it, but… This was not a conversation I had been expecting, or had wanted, to have with my parents any time soon, let alone at all. I mean, in the back of my mind, I had always worried the day might come where they would try to tell me this crap, but I was not prepared for it to happen quite so soon or so suddenly. I was feeling an overwhelming amount of emotions, but more than anything else I was shaking with fear and anger. They had no idea what they were talking about…

"…N-No." I stuttered, shaking my head vigorously and keeping my eyes shut to avoid their condemning gazes. "Y-You're wrong, dad… My relationship with Fifi is perfectly f-fine the way it is… You don't understand. I can't just… Abandon her like that, I can't betray her trust and her love… I'm not going to say that crap to her, because it's not true." I took a moment to catch my breath and swallow the lump that had formed in my throat. "And i-if and w-when I ever find a girl I want to… Spend forever with, _then_ I'll talk with Fifi about it, and set up boundaries, which I'm sure she'll be perfectly fine with. But until then… No, I'm not going to stop hanging out with her or treating her as anything less than my best friend. I'm s-sorry, you know I love you guys more than anything, but… This is my decision to make, n-not either of yours… Please… I know you're just worried about me, but… Let me deal with this on my own time, and in my own way."

My heart felt like a lead weight in my chest as I forced my eyes back open, expecting the absolute worst… And though dad certainly looked like he had something more to say at first, he soon seemed to swallow it, letting out his heaviest, most disappointed sounding sigh yet, as he shook his head and looked at me as if I just came home with straight Fs on my report card.

"…Fine, Stone… Have it your way." he said tersely. "Do what you want. We won't stop you. You can take Fifi with you to LeMasters."

I looked back in mild shock. I hadn't expected to win so easily… I would've let out a sigh of relief, but… Given the looks of sheer disappointment the both of them were trying to guilt me with, I was just waiting for the-

"… _ **BUT**_ …"

…But… Ugh…

Dad's steely gaze bore through my skull, making me feel incredibly small and powerless next to his massive, mighty frame. "But, you need to promise us something, Stone. Promise us that by the time you come home, you'll have this whole mess sorted out, and Fifi will be acting the way she's supposed to act… Like your Pokémon."

I opened my mouth to respond, but dad answered my question before I could even ask it.

"And if you don't, then I'm sorry, but your mother and I will have to intervene ourselves… And you won't want that, Stone."

My stomach dropped down into my shoes. I felt like throwing up. It didn't matter how pleadingly I looked at my mom and dad, their expressions stayed the same… That look of misguided assuredness that this was only for my own benefit…

They weren't trying to upset me…

Just destroy my life…

 _That's all…_

Mom pulled me into a hug, one which I was feeling too dead inside to return.

"Don't worry, dear, you have six whole months to make this happen, that's plenty of time. And Fifi's an extremely intelligent Pokémon, so surely she'll understand eventually, you just have to break it to her slowly, and give her time to adjust on her own, that's all. I'm sure that you'll meet plenty of people along the way that will make the transition easier for the both of you, too."

This… This wasn't happening…

"I know you'll do the right thing, son…" Dad exclaimed, giving me a rare smile as he clapped me on the back. "You always do."

…Dad…

…You don't know anything…

* * *

…God, why did this have to happen _now_ of all times…? The one day I've been looking forward to more than any other in my entire life… Goodbye excitement, hello dread…

"…Hey, Stone…"

As I shambled listlessly down the hallway from my parents' room, I heard Fifi's voice quietly calling out to me, and I turned to see her peeking her head out from around the corner where my room was. When I saw the deeply troubled look on her face, however, an all new dread entered into my mind…

 _How much of that had she heard…?_

"…Ah, F-Fifi… I didn't think you would stay downstairs." I said with a small, hollow laugh, doing my best to smile and not let on to her how miserable I was.

"Sorry, I just couldn't stand to wait down there any longer." she replied, still frowning deeply. "So come on, tell me already, what was so important to your mom and dad that they had to be so secretive about it?"

Oh… Thank God, she hadn't heard any of it…

 _I hoped._

"Oh, n-nothing bad, just t-telling me they didn't want you sleeping in my bed with me at LeMasters since my roommates might get the wrong idea… Y-You know how they are, always getting worked up over little things like that…"

Fifi let out an overly exaggerated sigh of relief. "Oh, thank goodness… I was freaking out that it was something way worse than that with the way your mom was reacting to me at breakfast…" Her look of worry instantly dissolved, being replaced by one of her usual happy smiles. "I'm so glad it was just that. I mean, that still kind of sucks, but I guess everyone has to make sacrifices every now and then… Teeheehee~…"

Watching Fifi giggle away, so carefree and blissfully unaware of just how fake my smile was… I just wanted to die. _God, why was this happening…?_

"…H-Haha, y-yeah…"

"…But you know, they don't have any way of finding out how you're sleeping once you're there, do they?" she said, grinning that mischievous grin of hers. "Perhaps sacrifices _don't_ have to be made every time… You just have to make the right people _think_ so."

…Wait… That's right… How _are_ mom and dad to know what I'm doing and what I'm not doing while I'm away? Just because they tell me I have to do this awful thing, doesn't mean I have to actually listen to them…

" _Rrrrrright_ , Stoney~? You don't want to go to bed all cold and lonely, do you? I heard it gets awful chilly in those dorm rooms, and it sure would be nice if you had your own personal space heater to keep you warm at night, wouldn't it~?"

…Yeah, that's right. Who the hell are they to tell me how to live my life? They can't threaten me and Fifi so easily… We're smarter than that. _She's_ smarter than that. And besides, we have half a year to work on our 'act'… Yeah, we'll work things out, alright…

I poked my head back around the bend to make sure mom and dad weren't there, then grinned back at Fifi.

"Yeah… I can't think of anything that would be nicer than that, Feef."

 _I'll show my parents that I can keep my friendship with Fifi and still lead a normal life… And if we have to lie to them until I turn eighteen, then so be it. Kids lie to their parents all the time. This is nothing different._

As I turned the corner to head back downstairs, feelin' fine and with Fifi at my side, we passed by my parents' room. Almost as if they were waiting, they filed out into the hallway, blocking our path to the stair. The saccharine, 'reassuring' smiles that were plastered on their faces had the complete opposite effect of what was intended.

"You two have fun at LeMasters, son." Dad said, gripping me on the shoulder again as he stared into my soul. "We know you'll make us proud, Stone. We know you'll do the right thing."

…Yeah…

The right thing…

…That's exactly what I'll do…

… _Once I figure out what that is._

* * *

A/N: So yeah, this was a thing. Apologies for the horrible attempts at humor and the oh-so-unoriginal and bland plotline. If I get far enough, it will get less generic and more incredibly stupid, so there is that to look forward to, at least. I don't know when I'll ever bother to update this, if at all, but I suppose if enough people want me to, I'll try to have some sense of urgency with updating and stuff. Though, I'm much more expecting people to just tell me to go kill myself more than anything else. Which is fine, of course. But yeah, I got less weird things to be doing now, so later peeps.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Holy shit, I was not expecting this to get such a response. Now I _know_ I'm going to disappoint everyone, awesome. But oh well, that's what I'm here for. Many thanks to all of you who have reviewed, subscribed, and followed, I appreciate that shit, for real. Anyhoo, hope y'all like gobs and gobs of dialogue, slow-ass pacing, and a terribly infrequent update schedule! Seriously though, when I say "Nasty M-Rated shit ain't happening for a long while.", I mean it ain't happening for a _loooooong while_ , so I hope that's not all you're here for. Also, I'm probably drunk, if you couldn't tell by my disjointed train of thought. And now that I've chased away everyone who was previously reading this, it's time for me to shut up. Enjoy!

* * *

"Are you sure you've got everything you need, sweetie?"

I tried to hide my exasperation as I nodded yes to answer mom's question for probably the fifth time.

"Yes ma, I have everything. All of my socks and unmentionables are accounted for, don't worry."

I shook my head and groaned as mom continued to fuss and fret regardless. My family surrounded me as Fifi and I stood outside our house, waiting for Uncle Bob to show up at any minute, everyone taking turns saying their goodbyes to me before I left.

"Well bro, just remember, don't do anything I wouldn't do, ya hear?" Flint said, grinning in that stupid, vacuous way he was so good at.

"The whole point of me going there is to learn though, Flint." I said dryly, letting him grumble for a moment before I smirked back to let him know I was just shitting with him. "But hey, make sure you keep me updated on your league challenge, alright? The Teddies sure ain't gonna do anything this year, so I need _something_ to get excited about."

Flint's grin returned, all the more smug. "Oh, no worries on that, little bro. _Everyone_ is going to know when I get to the Pokémon League Championships, trust me. And I'll be totally loaded by that point, so I'll spring for airplane tickets for you and the missus."

"Gee, thanks." I said, rolling my eyes and turning to Jade. "Well, looks like you have the house all to yourself now, Jade. All I ask is that you lock my door before you throw any wild, drunken house parties."

"Oh, mine too." Flint added. "I would just _die_ if anyone were to touch my toenail collection. Oh, and my autographed Stad Mauto guitar. But mainly the toenails. Those things ain't replaceable, after all."

"Pfft, don't worry." Jade said, scoffing and shaking her head. "The last thing I'd want my friends to see is how big of doofuses my brothers are, you couldn't _pay_ me to let them into either of your rooms." Mom quickly cleared her throat as she and dad began to give Jade the hairy eyeball. "I-I mean, in theory, of course. I would _never_ throw any parties or have anyone over at all without your guys' permission. I mean, what do you take me for, Flint or Stone?"

Mom let out a disgruntled sigh, shaking her head at our japery. "When it comes to mischief, not one of you is any better than the other two. But don't worry, sweetie. You won't have time to get into any trouble anyway, we have a full itinerary planned out for you here, so that you won't feel left out while your brothers are away."

"…Oh… That's… Great news, mom. Thanks." Jade replied woodenly, her smile anything but genuine. I couldn't blame her lack of enthusiasm, since mom and dad's idea of a good time was… Well, it was great when we were little kids. Now that we were teenagers, not so much. I gave her a look of sympathy as she turned back to me. "Well, at least you'll probably have a better time than I will, Stone… Try not to let him embarrass himself too much, okay, Fifi?"

"Well, that's kind of an impossible request, but I'll do my best." Fifi said, snickering.

"Really though, I hope everything goes well for you, bro." Jade added, coming over to give me a hug. "Promise you'll keep in contact more than Flint does?"

"Thanks, sis. And no worries, that won't be hard at all." I said, smirking at Flint. "I'm sure LeMasters gets better reception than the wilderness that Flint has to, ahem, 'rough' it in on a daily basis."

"Hey, you guys don't know what it's like out there on the road." Flint said defensively. "Nothin' but trees and mountains as far as the eye can see, not a powerline in sight. And besides that, what, do you guys expect me to waste my phone's precious battery life calling y'all every day?"

"Oh, _please_." Jade countered, rolling her eyes heavily. "You have an Ampharos, you don't have to worry about your phone ever dying. Also every Pokécenter in the world has phones you can use, that you don't, because you're lazy."

Seeing the look of annoyance on Flint's face, I quickly stepped in between my siblings before another passive aggressive family bitchfest could begin. "What Jade's trying to say is just, try to at least keep us updated so that we don't think you've been devoured by an Aggron or something similar, alright, bro?"

"Yeah, alright, I suppose when you put it that way…" Flint said begrudgingly, his voice trailing off into mumbles. I let out a sigh, relieved that my siblings weren't in more antagonistic moods. I didn't know of any other family besides my own that enjoyed arguing so much, especially over such mundane things as someone being too lazy to call home. And of course, this was the pot calling the kettle black, but I at least had realized how pointless and time wasting arguing over everything was long ago, and I seem to have somehow become the family mediator somewhere along the line in the process. I mean, it's not that anyone ever actually got angry or anything, just… Combative. I suppose my competitive gene is just highly recessive compared to theirs… But man, I sure wouldn't miss this aspect of my family life at LeMasters, that's for sure.

Before my siblings could find something else to bicker over and before my parents could embarrass me with any further talk of my undergarments, a sudden rumbling began to sound from the distance, signaling that Uncle Bob was near. Sure enough, as the rumbling grew into a fierce growl, Uncle Bob's '78 Moltres muscle car came roaring into view, its aggressively patriotic paint scheme gleaming proudly under the bright morning sun as it zoomed down the street at what would be a pants-shittingly frightening speed for those who weren't aware of the car's driver. As it were, however, we were well accustomed to Unc's driving tendencies, and merely covered our ears until he pulled up in front of us, rolling to a stop smoothly in our driveway.

"Well, if it ain't my favorite family of minerals." he said with a grin, as he got out to greet us. "How's everyone been? It feels like forever since I last saw you guys! I mean, sheesh, I'm pretty sure Stone and Jade were still in diapers the last time I was here, ahahahaha!"

"Oh, stop it, Robby, it hasn't been _that_ long." Mom replied with a small laugh, going over to give Uncle Bob a hug. "It was only four years ago, but my, that's still too long of a time to go without seeing you. You should know the kids have missed you terribly, and so have I."

'Aw, don't guilt trip me like that, sis, you know how tough it is for me to make time to come home anymore." said Uncle Bob, running his fingers through his short, spiky blonde hair and giving mom an apologetic look that completely belied his tough appearance. "You know how strict the rules are with Gym Leaders and their responsibilities, especially over there in Japan, and that's not even taking into account my military commitments on top of that. I'm damn lucky to have been able to get this weekend off as it is, you know. I think I had to put in for time off about a half year in advance, and I'm sure they're gonna give me all kinds of grief once I get back about shirking in my duties as a leader… I mean, not as if they ever seemed to give a damn about that scumbag Giovanni disappearing to run his little 'business' whenever he so pleased, but eh, whatever. It ain't the same league as it was when I first signed up, that's for sure… But hey, I'm sure you guys don't wanna hear me whining anymore."

"Aw, don't worry about it Robby, everyone needs to vent every now and then." Mom said with an understanding smile, to which we all nodded in agreement. "What's important is that you're here."

"Yeah, you don't know how much this means to me and Fifi, Uncle Bob." I said. "I don't know how I'll ever be able to properly thank you for this."

"Aw, no need to thank me, kiddo. That's what family's for, after all!" Uncle Bob replied, shrugging and grinning. "Just do your best and make us all proud, like I know you can. To see you carry on the Surge family tradition of kickin' ass and takin' names like your brother and ma and me is all the thanks I need."

Mom let out a small groan at Uncle Bob's choice of words, but knew better than to ask him to clean it up around us. Alongside the ass kickin' and name takin', probably the most prevalent (though certainly not the proudest) tradition that has been passed down on mom's side of the family is the propensity to use language that would make a sailor blush. And as hard as mom tried to contain it, she most definitely was just as guilty as the rest of us, if not more so, letting loose streams of profanity that were long enough to stretch from Unova to Orre whenever she got _really_ mad. Safe to say, me and my siblings all learned at very early ages not to do anything to really piss mom off.

"Really though Bob, we can't thank you enough for doing this for Flint and Stone, and Jade too when she's old enough." Dad said, bowing his head slightly in gratitude, though his face carried a twinge of shame as well. "Though, hopefully we'll be able to provide it for Jade ourselves once that time comes…"

"Don't sweat it, Slate." Uncle Bob said simply. "Like I just told Stone, we're family. Family is supposed to help each other out when they're down, and that's all I'm doing. You guys don't have to worry about repaying me in any way, alright? I'm a damn Gym Leader, I have more money than I know what to do with. If I can't use it to help my loved ones out, then what the hell good is it in the first place?"

Dad, never a man who was good with words, nodded back. "…Well, thanks all the same, bud."

"Heh, man, you sure are different in person than you are in public, Unc." Flint stated with a laugh. "There were some kids from Kanto and Johto at LeMasters when I was there, and whenever the topic turned to Gym Leaders, they would shudder, talking about how mean and scary you were, and how much of a harda-, e-er, that is, how menacing you were. Shoot, the way they talked about you, you'd think you were like, eight feet tall or somethin'."

Uncle Bob let out a chuckle. "Yeah, well, you can thank the Pokémon League for that. They wanted me to play up my military background, so over there, I'm the 'Lightning American'. I mean, in truth, I kinda _am_ a bit of a hardass, since that's how I had to be as a CO, but around you guys, I don't have to act all tough and shit, I can just be me. And it's nice to be able to flip that persona off every once in a while and be able to act like a normal person, y'know?"

Right… Because nothing says 'normal' quite like barreling down quiet city streets like a stuntman on a movie set in a twelve-hundred horsepower mobile American flag.

Yeah, Uncle Bob is _pretty fucking rad_.

"But heck, it's probably about time for us to get this show on the road, eh, Stoney?" Uncle Bob exclaimed, flipping his shades back down and motioning me and Fifi towards the car. "You and Fifi got everything you need, right?"

I nodded, as did Fifi beside me. "Yup, all my crap's in my bag except my computer, and Fifi's got her collapsible stool, so we're ready to roll whenever you are, Unc."

"Great!" Uncle Bob said with a boisterous laugh, pointing over his shoulder with his thumb. "Go ahead and chuck that in the backseat there, and hop in!" Turning back towards the rest of the family, Uncle Bob continued, "Don't worry, I'll be back to visit with the rest of y'all longer once I get these two dropped off and settled in at LeMasters."

"Ah, R-Robbie, before you go, could Slate and I have a quick word with you?" Mom abruptly asked. I held in my groan as I got my stuff settled into the backseat next to Fifi, as I had a pretty clear idea of what it was she wanted to talk to Uncle Bob about.

"Eh? Yeah, alright. What's up?" Uncle Bob cocked his head for a moment, then shrugged as he followed my parents into the house, leaving me to amble around awkwardly with my siblings as Fifi settled into the backseat of Uncle Bob's car.

"Man, mom and dad sure have been acting twitchy today…" Flint murmured. "What the hell'd you do, Stone?"

"What? I haven't done anything!" I shot back.

"Then what's the deal with these private talks of theirs?" Jade asked. "First you, now Uncle Bob… They weren't all tweaked out like this when Flint left."

"That's only because they had spent the entire month leading up to his leaving to completely lose their shit over it." I claimed. "They knew what to expect this time, so they had time to prepare. They're probably just having last minute jitters about me being gone for half a year, that's all."

"I dunno, bro…" Flint said, unconvinced. "Wasn't their talk with you earlier something to do with your rooming sitch? They didn't seem to really give a crap about that either way when I went. Or… Does this have something to do with your girlfriend?"

I let out an exasperated groan at Flint's continued jackassery. "For fuck's sake, bro, would you _please_ cut that girlfriend shit out already? It's crap like that that probably got mom and dad all up in arms about this garbage in the first place."

"Oho, so this _does_ have something to do with her then!" Flint exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear.

"W-Wait, no, I didn't say anything like that!" I said in a panic, glancing over at Fifi, who thankfully was still preoccupied with trying to get our belongings safely fastened down beside her in the car.

"Jeez, just give it up already, Stone." Jade said in half amusement, half pity. "Your attention just shot over to her to make sure she wasn't listening, this obviously has something to do with her."

"Yeah, so come on already, spill it, bro. What's the dealio here?" Flint said, continuing to prod in his obnoxious Flinty manner. "Man, don't tell me, you aren't still letting her sleep with you, are ya?"

"Fuck you Flint, you've slept with your precious little Flaafykins your whole damn life." I countered, shaking my head vigorously as I felt my face begin to redden.

"Dude, that's because she was like, covered in the most _amazingly_ soft wool you could ever imagine, at least, until she evolved, that is." Flint said.

"That hasn't stopped you from sleeping with her since then." I immediately retorted.

"Only because she's so used to it by now!" said Flint defensively. "And besides, she don't talk and act like she's my damn girlfriend like _yours_ does. So it's not anywhere _near_ as weird."

"Hey, hey, no, that's not even…" I began, stumbling over every other word as my mind raced in an attempt to subvert Flint's claims. "…No, listen, Flint. The only reason I still let Fifi sleep in my bed with me is for the same exact reason that you just said, because she's just so used to it by now. She is not my damn girlfriend, not anymore than Flaafykins is yours. You and mom and dad all have the most laughably wrong idea imaginable. I am not 'too close' to her, any other talking Pokémon would act the same exact way she does, alright? There's nothing weird about our relationship at all, so just… Stop calling her my girlfriend and drilling it into mom and dad's heads that there _is_ something weird going on between us. Because there isn't. _Got it?_ "

Flint's grin slowly faded from his face as he backed away from me and my, admittedly, slightly unhinged display. "…Ooooookay then, whatever you say, bro. My bad. You know I'm just fucking around, right? I'm totes sorry if I ended up causing you any trouble with mom and dad, alright?"

"…Yeah, I know." I said after a moment, letting out a sigh. "I didn't mean to flip out on you like that, sorry. It's just… Ugh, I don't even know. Mom and dad don't want me to bring Fifi along with me for whatever reason, because they've got it in their heads that we're 'too close', and that she shouldn't be acting like a human and needs to start acting like my Pokémon. They expect her to change by the time we get back, or else… Man, I dunno. Probably nothing good."

"Yikes…" Jade exclaimed, casting me a sympathetic glance, then directing it towards Fifi, who was still having a terrible time trying to get her tail and the seatbelt to coexist. "…And I take it you haven't told her about this whole business yet?"

"Of course not." I said immediately. "And I'm not going to, either. I'm not going to make her stop acting the way she wants to, that would be just awful, not the least because knowing her, she would probably go through with it if it meant making mom and dad happy with her… I know to you guys, she's just a Pokémon, but… As pathetic as it probably makes me sound to you, she really is my best friend, and I'm not about to lose her just because mom and dad think I need 'real' friends."

"Jeez, that sucks, bro." Flint said, casting aside his usual obnoxiousness for once and speaking to me sincerely, something that almost never happened. "I know I razz you about it all the time, but I don't want yours and Fifi's relationship to get fucked up like that. Shoot, it's not like me or Jade can say our best friends aren't our Pokémon too. I mean, I know I got my bros and all, but Flaafykins is always going to be the ho that comes before the bros… Er, shit, I mean, I didn't just call my Pokémon a ho, okay? D-Don't tell her I said that, Jesus Christ…"

Jade merely shook her head in disbelief as she stared in amusement at Flint. "Uh, yeah, I think what Flint was trying to say is… You don't have to feel embarrassed to call Fifi your best friend, I think most people's true best friend is their Pokémon, like Flint with Flaafykins and me with Teddy. I'm sure mom and dad had similar relationships with their Pokémon growing up as well, they _were_ both highly accomplished trainers in their youth, after all."

"Yeah…" I muttered. "…How bad is it that I hardly ever think of her as my Pokémon, though? I'm so used to her acting like a person, that it's really hard for me to see her as a Braixen anymore. Like, I know she's obviously not a human, either, but she's just… Fifi. It's… Hard for me to even explain."

"Don't worry, we understand." Jade said with a small laugh. "Remember, we've been around her all this time too."

"Yeah, I mean, that's kind of why I mess with you so much about her being your girlfriend." added Flint. "I get that it's just because she's your Pokémon and she's ridiculously loyal to you and all that, but if someone heard her talking to you without seeing where the voice was coming from, no way they would think she was anything _but_ your girlfriend. And yeah, yeah, I realize Flaafykins would probably talk to me the same way if she could, so don't bother trying to turn that back around on me, I don't mean it as an insult or anything."

"I-I know…" I said in slight embarrassment. "…She doesn't mean anything by those things she says, though. I don't think she fully understands the differences between romantic love and platonic love very well, since she spent so much time watching all those awful chick flicks when she was learning how to speak English…"

"Maybe that's all you really need to do, then." Jade said thoughtfully. "Just gently explain to her that there are differences, and that she's not really conveying herself in the way she means to. I'm sure as long as you can get her to start talking to you more normally, mom and dad will be understanding about it… Assuming you're right about that in the first place…"

I blinked in confusion at Jade's muttered final sentence. "…Huh? What do you mean…?"

Jade looked away from me for a moment, casting an awkward, sideways glance at Fifi before speaking. "…Well… It's just that… She really does seem _awfully_ smitten by you, Stone. I'm not so sure she's really that confused at all about how she expresses her feelings towards you…"

I grimaced, and quickly shook my head. "Augh, no, don't say that, Jade. Look, she just doesn't know any better, end of story. She may act like a totally normal 'person' in most regards, but there are still some aspects of human life that she doesn't fully grasp, okay? I should know, since I'm the one that's constantly having to correct her about things."

"And how many times have you 'corrected' her about the way she acts towards you, and why does she still persist on acting that way, then?"

I screwed up my face, unable to come up with a good answer for Jade's question, then shot her an accusatory look. "...Man, I thought you were on my side, sis…"

"I am, Stone, geez." Jade responded, folding her arms and sighing. "But if mom and dad really did give you such an awful ultimatum, then you really need to start thinking about these things, and figure out how you're going to deal with them before it's too late."

I let my shoulders slump as Jade's words hit me. "…I know… Look, I know, alright? I've been trying to figure things out this whole time since they dropped this on me. It's just… Really complicated. This is going to take some time to straighten out. And I'll have a whole half year, so I should be fine… Hopefully…"

Before the conversation could get any more awkward, my parents and Uncle Bob mercifully stepped back out from within the house.

"Ready to jet, bucko?" Uncle Bob asked with a grin as he made his way back over to his car.

"Yeah…" I said, much less enthusiastically than the first time.

"Hmm? Everything okay, buddy?" Uncle Bob asked, frowning at my sudden change in demeanor. I quickly shook myself out of my funk and put another smile on.

"Oh, yeah, totally." I said, with much more vigor. Glancing at my siblings, they both smiled back and gave me little nods of acknowledgement, letting me know that they wouldn't tell mom and dad about our conversation. As I took one more lap around to give everyone one last hug before I left, Jade took the time to whisper something in my ear before she let me go.

"Don't let things get out of hand, bro. I'll do my best to keep mom and dad in high spirits about you, but just make sure you know what you're doing before you say or do anything that you can't take back…"

* * *

"So, Stone, how've you been lately, buddy? Everything alright with you and Fifi?"

I glanced over at my uncle and nodded absentmindedly. Soaring down the highway with the wind in my hair and one classic 80's rock tune after the next blaring out of the Moltres' speakers, I had started to zone out, my mind flooded with nothing but troublesome thoughts.

"Oh, y-yeah, everything's fine, Unc." I stated, without much conviction.

"You sure? You've seemed kinda down ever since we left." Uncle Bob exclaimed, before letting out a chuckle and continuing, "You ain't getting homesick already, are ya?"

"No, not at all." I said, shaking my head, but not wanting to really elaborate any further.

"What's eating you, then?" Uncle Bob asked, frowning. "You were all pumped up when I first arrived, but after I got back from talking with your parents, you've been all down in the dumps. Did something happen in that time? Your brother fucking with you again?"

"No, no, nothing like that, Unc." I replied. "I'm fine, really."

"…Oh." Uncle Bob said after a moment. "I gotcha. This has to do with that crap your mom and dad were talking to me about, right?"

"Huh?" Fifi said in confusion from the backseat. "Y-You mean… They were talking to you about _that_? W-What in the world business is that to you, though, sir? You're not going to be one of Stone's roommates, are you…?"

"U-Uh, n-no, Fifi, I don't think they were talking to him about _th-that_ …" I quickly interjected, laughing nervously.

"…Right. My mistake." Uncle Bob said, giving me a quick, knowing nod. "But you guys _are_ doing okay, right?"

"Yeah, me and Fifi have been doing great, Unc." I said, doing my best to smile.

"You wouldn't believe how excited Stone's been about this, sir." Fifi added, giggling. "It's all he's talked about since he found out about it."

''Oh yeah?" Uncle Bob replied, letting out a laugh of his own. "That bored of suburban life already, eh kid?"

"Not exactly." I responded. "It's just that, I've never had this kind of an opportunity before, Unc. I mean, I've hardly had many opportunities at all, what with the whole 'living in poverty' thing that I grew up being used to, so it's just… It feels kind of surreal to have a chance to go somewhere so famous and high class. Have I told you thank you enough yet, by the way?"

"Plenty enough." Uncle Bob said amiably. "But I'm happy for you, Stone. You're a good kid, and you deserve to be able do something you can enjoy for once. I tell you, it's not like it was in the old days, when parents just sent their kids out into the wilderness on nothing but a wing and a prayer. Everything's 'too dangerous' for kids these days, you can't go out on a journey to become a Pokémon Master without getting a trainer's license first, it's totally ridiculous. Ain't no rules about that over in Japan, of course, but good lord, the rules and regulations they've been adopting in this great country of ours regarding Pokémon as of late are getting out of hand. How the hell's a kid supposed to have any fun these days if they can't make that classic rite of passage of the Pokémon Journey? Things ain't anymore dangerous than they ever were, but don't tell the fucking Pokémon League that… Augh, I'm just sorry you and Fifi weren't able to go out on your journey years ago like you should've been able to. Hopefully once you graduate from LeMasters and get your license, you can make the pilgrimage like your brother has, even if it is a few years late and a few rules stiffer."

"It's fine, Unc." I said, shaking my head. "I've always been too preoccupied by my delusional baseball dreams to really focus on becoming a trainer until just recently anyways."

"That's only because you never got a chance to have any other dreams, Stone. And hell, it's not like you ever really got a chance to bring those baseball dreams to fruition, either. I'll never understand why your dad was so fucking stubborn as to never accept my help until he absolutely had to. He's a good man, don't get me wrong, but he really fucked you guys over growing up thanks to that."

I frowned, letting out a sharp sigh. "I know… I love him to bits, but he's always hated having to accept help from someone, rather than being the one doing the helping. I don't think he ever _meant_ to fuck us over or anything like that, he just… Didn't want to have to rely on you and feel useless or whatever. He's always been so hard on himself about everything, which, well, you can tell who that got passed down to… So, I can _kinda_ understand why he never wanted to accept yours or anyone else's help, but I don't at all agree with it. But hey, what's passed is in the past. Chances are, if we would've been living a 'good' life, I never would have found Fifi, and I'd much rather have her by my side than be playing baseball or anything else, so I've come to accept my life for what it is. Blessed in some ways, cursed in others. Mostly cursed, but eh. I'm a Teddies fan, so I'm used to everything going wrong every step of the way. I don't really have any right to complain."

"Aw, Stone…" I could hear Fifi murmuring.

"Well, I gotta say, Stone, if nothing else, you've got a good head on your shoulders, and a good heart underneath." Uncle Bob exclaimed, despite my head shakes to the contrary. "Which is exactly why I'm so glad to be able to do this for you, kid. And not just for you, but for Fifi, too. She seems to have the same qualities as you, which only goes to prove my point about you more."

"Eh, I don't think I really did anything for Fifi besides teach her how to cuss and how to pray, and one of those was on accident and the other on request." I said, scratching my head. "She picked up on most things all on her own."

"Well, you know what they say about Pokémon resembling their Trainers, right?" Uncle Bob quipped back. "That doesn't mean in a physical sense, you know. I think Fifi's had a pretty good role model to emulate, the cussing part non-withstanding."

"That's what I've been trying to tell him for ages, but you know how much he hates anything resembling praise." Fifi said, and I could just feel her rolling her eyes at the back of my head.

"I don't hate praise, I just… Don't want to get a big head." I countered, folding my arms and craning my neck around to stick my tongue out at Fifi, which she was only too eager to return with gusto. "And besides, I just don't think I'm deserving of much of it, that's all."

"Yeesh. And _I'm_ the one with the Modest nature?" Fifi scoffed.

"I don't think anyone would confuse me for being that, Fi. I'm just as full of myself as my brother, I just don't advertise it like he does."

"Do you see what I have to put up with every day, sir?" Fifi said to Uncle Bob in mock distress. "Are you _sure_ you don't want to take my place as his roommate?"

Uncle Bob shook his head and smirked. "Nah, I think you two are perfect for each other. I don't think I've ever seen a bond between a Trainer and Pokémon like your guys' before, but then again, I ain't sure you should really count as a Pokémon, Fifi, haha… Nah, for real, though, from what Flint told me, you two are a pretty damn formidable duo, at least around your hometown."

"Well, I mean, it's not as if I've had much of a shortage on mentors in that regard." I said with a shrug. "Growing up in a family of trainers in a community obsessed with battling, it's probably only natural for me to have picked up on it myself, if only a little bit. Everyone knows Fifi's the one doing all the hard work anyways."

"Ooh, don't you start that crap again, Stone." Fifi said in irritation, kicking the back of my seat.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, neither of us can do it without the other." I muttered back, rolling my eyes out of her view.

"Man, stop shitting on yourself so much, Stone." Uncle Bob piped in, repeating a phrase I had heard all too often throughout my life. "Think of it like this; you're the coach, and Fifi's your superstar player. She may be the one swinging the bat, sure, but you're the one pulling the strings, coming up with just the right strategies, letting her know when to bunt and when to swing for the fences. It was the same when I was in the military. Sure, every single one of the men, women, and Pokémon under my command were bonafide heroes, ready and willing to risk their bodies and their lives for their countries and their fellow men and Pokémon. But without a commander, they would've been collectively useless; unorganized, scared shitless, and easy targets. But with the proper strategies and planning, they marched ahead with confidence and showed our enemy just what happens when you try and fuck with the free world. But on the other end of that spectrum, a commander is similarly useless without a charge to lead. And that's exactly what being a Pokémon Trainer is, just on a smaller scale, syncing with your Pokémon and overcoming your individual hurdles, to form one larger, stronger, cohesive unit. To be a good trainer, you and your Pokémon have to have respect and love for one another, and the deeper the spiritual and emotional bond, the better."

Uncle Bob shifted slightly in his seat, patting the lone Pokéball on the side of his waist gently.

"Take me and Rai, for example. When I was off in the war, I wasn't the only one who had to deal with its horrors. Rai was right there beside me the whole time, and he saved my ass more times than I can count. Every single thing that transpired, all the pain and anguish we suffered and witnessed, we were in it together. I trust him with my life, and he trusts me with his. He's the one I can count on above all others, the one that I know always has my back. And it's obvious you and Fifi have that same kind of connection. You guys rely and depend on each other for everything, and as far as I can remember, you have ever since you met. Shit, you guys literally kept each other from getting killed when you first met, for Christ's sake. And that's why I think, no, why I _know_ your potential as a duo is limitless. That kind of a bond is something special. And it's that kind of synergy that separates the trainers from the champions. Of course, if you want to take it that far, you're probably going to have to have more than just Fifi by your side, but even alone, I don't see any reason why you guys can't go far."

"See, Stone?" Fifi said matter-of-factly once Uncle Bob had finished his rousing speech. "We're only as good as we are because we're a team. So stop saying you're worthless, because nothing could be further from the truth, _especially_ to me. Now, you better stop acting so lame before we get to LeMasters, because all I plan on doing is telling everyone how awesome you are, and I'm going to be _so mad_ if you make me out to look like a liar, you hear me, _master_?"

"Yes, _master_." I replied, directing Fifi's mocking tone back at her, before turning to Uncle Bob and nodding. "…But alright, I hear what you guys are saying, loud and clear. I'll try to pretend to be competent and not act like such a self-loathing dweeb at LeMasters, if only for you, my dear Fifi."

"That's more like it." Fifi said, snickering.

I stared ahead in silence for a good couple minutes, letting the music mingle with my thoughts as Uncle Bob's speech continued to process in my mind. "…Do you really think we can become champions, Uncle Bob?"

Uncle Bob nodded firmly. "I wouldn't say it if I didn't believe it, Stone. The confidence you need to believe in that yourself will come with time. For now, the best and easiest thing for both of you to do is just to remember to relax and have fun when you battle. There's a time and place for seriousness in battle, but ninety-nine percent of the time, you're doing it just for fun. And if you and Fifi ain't having fun when you battle, then you probably shouldn't be getting into Pokémon Training in the first place."

"Huh… I never really thought about it like that…" I stated, taking a moment to mull over Uncle Bob's words. "You know, I wouldn't have expected to hear someone like _you_ say that, Uncle Bob. I thought Gym Leaders were all about treating battles as if they were super serious and important."

"Eh, most people do, and I may be wrong in giving you this advice." Uncle Bob replied. "But you know, I've had to deal with so much shit in my time… I know what it's like to battle in an actual life or death situation. It's fucking awful, kid. It's not any fun at all, for you or your Pokémon. Once you go through something like that, civilized, sanctioned Pokémon battles feel like nothing more than a game. Which, technically, is all they really are anyways, as far as sanctioned battling goes. I know I'm supposed to treat my Gym Challenges as extremely serious affairs, and don't get me wrong, I still put all my effort into my battles, I'm still trying to win, of course. But in the end, winning and losing doesn't really matter, the only thing that can really get bruised are you and your Pokémon's egos. So I guess what I mean to say is, always try your best and give your full effort, but just remember, it's only a contest, and there's always next time. Heh, I'm sure that's something you're pretty sick of hearing by now, huh?"

"Nah, that's pretty much the Teddies' official motto anymore." I replied with a wry laugh. "But, um… Thanks, Uncle Bob. I'm so used to the ultra competitive mindset of everyone back in town, it's kind of refreshing to hear someone with a different take on battles… Especially someone as experienced as you."

"It's always been just a leisurely activity for me, Stone." Fifi chimed in. "It's good exercise, in any case. And like I said before, it helps me get stronger so I can keep you safe, so I'm only too glad to do it."

"As long as you don't hurt yourself in the process, Feefs…"

Fifi let out an overly exasperated sigh. "Stone, we've been over this a million times. I'm a Pokémon. I can take a sharpened, electrified blade to the face and come out none the worse for wear other than a few scrapes and bruises, and there's so much technology and medicine that can cure that kind of damage instantly. It's _you_ that needs someone to look after you, _especially_ with how hopelessly clumsy you are…"

"Hey, I can't help it that I was born with a terminal case of the 'Dropsies'…" I grumbled. "But fine, forget I ever said anything. Sorry for showing concern for your physical well being, I won't let it happen ever again."

"God, you guys bicker like an old married couple." Uncle Bob interjected, snorting out a laugh. "But that's good! That kind of genuine care and concern for one another is the key to success. Everything else should just come naturally from that. Trust me Stone, you and Fifi are going to do just fine…"

* * *

The rest of the car trip seemed to fly by, my mood having been lifted considerably by Uncle Bob's motivational efforts. Fifi seemed to be enjoying herself too, as she quickly joined in with me and Uncle Bob as we absolutely mangled every song that came out of the radio, something I was only too happy to see and hear, as it always seemed so difficult for her to open up and show the 'real' her around anyone besides me.

During the commercial breaks, Uncle Bob regaled us with all kinds of stories about his work as a Gym Leader, and the ridiculous shit he had to put up with on a daily basis from the Pokémon League and even his fellow Gym Leaders. It sure didn't make me want to follow in his footsteps, that's for sure. Though, knowing him, that was probably his intention in the first place. To tell the truth, I started to feel a little bad for him, actually, since he had made it perfectly clear that it was not the same job it was when he had first signed up for it. Not in the slightest…

Regardless of that, however, the trip was a nice bonding experience, as I had always been happy to spend time with Uncle Bob, and it was always so rare to be able to hang out with him without my siblings. Plus, with his penchant for speed, we made great time, pulling off the highway and onto the turnoff for LeMasters before the sun had even begun to set. As we turned onto the long, expansive private road that led up to the school gates, I marveled in silence the whole way. The school grounds, as well as the school itself, appeared to be even bigger than it looked on the website and brochures, which simply boggled my mind. It almost felt like I was pulling into some sort of real life Hogwarts or something…

I mean, assuming all those rampant internet rumors aren't true and there isn't actually a real life Hogwarts… But I digress.

Even though we had gotten there hella quickly, we hadn't exactly arrived early by any means, as the grounds were already swarming with students and their Pokémon as we drew close, flitting to and fro as they got out of cars and began to mingle amongst themselves in excitement and awe. Of course, as soon as Uncle Bob's car came into view and earshot, every single eye and ear around seemed to turn towards us.

"Helluva way to make an entrance, wouldn't you say?" Uncle Bob exclaimed, seeming to relish all of the sudden attention. I, on the other hand, was less than enthused to have so many eyes on me at once, and knowing Fifi, she was feeling similarly uncomfortable.

"Yeah, I'll say…" I murmured back, sinking down lower into my seat in a subconscious effort to avoid everyone's stares.

Uncle Bob, rather than show me any sympathy, let out a loud, raucous laugh, "Ahahahahaha! There ain't no need to be so self-conscious, boy! In fact, you should be getting ready to accustom yourself to this kind of attention anyways, if you plan on bringing Fifi with you anywhere."

I let out a grumble of acknowledgement. True, I was expecting a lot of unnecessary attention once Fifi and I arrived here, but I wasn't really planning on making such an entrance on top of that. That's just what I needed, was for everyone to think I was some kind of attention whore right from the get go… Thankfully, most of everyone's attention faded back to their own devices fairly quickly, so hopefully Uncle Bob hadn't made too much of a spectacle of us.

As we pulled up to the very front of the school, Uncle Bob slowed to a halt, though with his engine still purring and his radio still blasting, that really only made us stick out like even more of a sore thumb within the posh, regal school grounds.

"Well, you guys ready?"

I shook my head yes as confidently as I could as I unbuckled myself. "As I'll ever be, Unc. How 'bout you, Fifi?"

Fifi merely looked back at me and nodded timidly. She was still uncomfortable around strangers, and doubly so amongst crowds of them, so chances are I was going to have her as a leg ornament for a while. Besides for my own selfish reasons, I had also hoped that coming here and being around so many new people would be able to help Fifi overcome a bit of that timidness of hers. I wasn't expecting much, since she had a pretty valid reason for that timidity in the first place and I didn't blame her for it at all, but if I could help her even a little bit in being able to come out of that shell and to start acting more like her natural self around others, I knew she would appreciate it. Because, as loath as I was to admit it, my parents were right about one thing, at least; she really did need to learn how to survive without me being by her side 24/7. I wouldn't always be able to bring her with me everywhere, so the sooner she got used to being comfortable by herself around people besides me, the better.

Uncle Bob gave me a short salute as I got out and headed around to help Fifi unload my crap. "Alright then, you guys get your stuff and mosey on inside, I'm gonna go find a place to park, then I'll meet back up with you to get you settled in and deal with all your admission details."

"Yessir." I said, saluting him back once we had finished unloading. Once we had backed up a bit, Uncle Bob once again roared his engine, popping everyone within a ten mile radius' eardrums, then peeled off down a side path that had a parking sign pointing down it. Soon enough, Fifi and I were left standing alone, more eyes turning towards us to give us looks of annoyance and scorn for Uncle Bob's display of horsepower. Fifi wasted no time in clinging to my side like glue, grasping onto my hand with a near death grip and forcing me to shift my laptop awkwardly under my arm.

"Fi, chill out, there's no reason for you to be so anxious." I said with a small chuckle. "I'm right here, you don't have anything to worry about."

"Ah, I-I know…" Fifi stuttered, her eyes darting from one person to the next as she buried herself even further into my side. "…B-But just, until Uncle Bob gets back, at least…"

"Alright, fine." I conceded. "But you gotta start getting over this, okay? You can't be a fridge magnet the whole time we're here, y'know."

"…Y-Yes, I know…" Fifi said, whimpering faintly as she made an effort to remove herself from me, if only slightly. "I j-just… It's b-been a while since I've had to be around s-so many people…"

"There's nothing to be afraid of, though." I said reassuringly. "No one's going to try to hurt either of us, Fifi. All these people and their Pokémon? They're just like us, Fi, a bunch of kids and Pokémon with hopes and dreams of becoming something. Nothing more than that, and definitely nothing sinister. We'll both be fine, don't stress out so badly. I know, that's not really fair for me to say, since I never had to go through what you did, but like I said, I'm right here beside you, and you know I won't let anything happen to you. I mean, heck, I shouldn't really have to worry about that in the first place anymore, you're _MY_ protector now, remember? You're not a helpless little Fennekin anymore, you're an ass kicker and a name taker, just like Uncle Bob said, and you're only gonna get stronger from here on out. So please, try not to worry so much, alright?"

Fifi looked up at me, and after a moment, finally nodded, returning my smile warmly as she pulled herself away from me almost entirely, through she still kept her hand firmly clutched in mine.

"…Okay. You're right, Stone. I need to stop letting my past haunt me so badly. Nothing like that has happened since you came into my life, so… I shouldn't worry about it. And I really don't want to embarrass you, so I _have_ to get over this stupid, irrational fear of strangers… Sure, I can say that, but it's so hard… B-But… As long as you're here to help me, I'm sure I can do it…"

"That's right." I said. "When have I ever let you down before, Fi?"

Fifi shook her head. "Never…"

"And I never will, either." I replied, grinning. "If I tell you things will be alright, then damn it, I will _make_ things be alright if I have to. I'll do whatever it takes to ensure that you're happy and comfortable, Fifi. So whatever it takes to help you get over this, I'll be happy to help with, too. And if that means having to walk around with you as a conjoined twin for a while, then so be it. So long as you make an effort to improve, I'm fine with that."

"…S-Stone…" Fifi's face began to flush as she let out a sniffle. "…Thank you. I, um… I can't ever tell you just how much I love you… And… I'm not going to let you down, either. I'm going to get over this, and I'm going to help you become the very best, like no one ever was! I mean, you already are to me, but to the rest of the world, too, teehee…"

"Um, th-thanks, Fi…" I said, trying my best to shift the conversation back away from her goopyness as she stared up at me with that doe-eyed look, no doubt drawing strange glances from those around us. Thankfully, they all seemed to be too preoccupied in their own conversations to notice that Fifi was speaking to me, but I wasn't wanting to take any chances. "B-But hey, why don't we go look around for a bit until Uncle Bob calls? Try to get our bearings in order and all that, since we're probably going to be coming and going from this building like crazy for the next few months."

"Alrighty!" Fifi agreed, nodding happily. "Lead the way, master!"

I instinctively groaned at Fifi's choice of words. "Gah, c-come on, Fifi, don't call me that unironically, you know how much I hate that…"

"Oh, right, whoops." Fifi said, putting her hand to her mouth and giggling. "Sorry, it just slipped through. You have to admit, I'm getting way better at calling you by your name, though!"

"Yeah, and thank God for that, too." I replied.

"Geez, you're so weird sometimes, Stone." Fifi said bemusedly as we made our way towards the school's main entrance. "I can't help it that my instincts drive me to call you that. And it's really a term of endearment, you know, like how you call your family members mom and dad and bro and sis and all that. I just don't see what you find so weird about it, but whatever."

"It doesn't really come off the same way as those other words though, Feef." I replied. "Especially not with the way you talk to me."

"Of course…" Fifi muttered, her ears drooping as she shook her head in annoyance. "Heaven forbid I call my trainer by his proper title in public, people might think I'm too obedient."

"Damn it, Fifi, that's not what I meant, and you know it." I scowled back, eliciting a snigger from her. I let out a disgruntled sigh, realizing how useless continuing this conversation would be. I took solace in the fact that, if nothing else, Fifi seemed to be loosening up a little. Even if it was at my expense. "Man, just forget it, Fi. Call me whatever you want. Let's just focus on the task at hand."

Fifi nodded, letting out another giggle as we made our way up the steps of the main building. Once we had reached the entryway doors, I took a moment to look back at the courtyard, as I hadn't really had much of a chance to do so. The long, tree-lined road that we had taken to get here stretched out far into the distance, the faint outline of a small city just visible over the horizon from where I stood. As the road got closer to the school, it split off into two, a long, narrow fountain pool laying in between them, sparkling under the midday sun. At the end of the pool, a grand, ornamental fountain towered, and the road made a roundabout around it, two smaller, dirt paths shooting off on either side and winding around to the backside of the school. Most of the students and Pokémon that were milling about outside were crowded around the fountain, many of them looking as if they were itching to start battles with one another already. The main school building itself was every bit as fancy and high-class looking up close as it was in pictures, and I couldn't help but feel a bit out of place. Of course, the majority of the other students that I could see didn't seem to be all that fitting for such a place either, most of them looking just as ordinary and 'lowborn' as I was, so perhaps this place wasn't as exclusive as I first thought. Regardless, I must have started to zone out, as I nearly jumped out of my skin as I heard a sudden commotion from behind me as the entryway doors burst open in a flourish.

"Holy _shit_ , is that a MEW?!"

"Oh my God, no fucking way!"

As I whipped around to see the source of the uproar, it was clear that I wasn't the only one who had heard the incredulous cry, as me and Fifi were nearly trampled as a small horde of students and their Pokémon ran towards the clamoring as soon as they heard the word 'Mew'.

"Hey kid, where the hell'd you get that thing?!"

"Man, no way that thing is real, it's gotta be a fucking Ditto or something!"

"Come on, let's do a trade! I have this really great Rattata that I just _know_ you'd love! Really top percentage!"

"Fuck off, a fucking _Rattata_? Get that bullshit outta here, _I've_ got a shiny Bidoof with your name all over it, kid!"

I exchanged a wary glance with Fifi, as more and more people began to rush towards the suddenly massive crowd that had formed at the entryway. I decided it'd be best to move before we really did get trampled, so I quickly led her through the entrance before it became impassable.

"Looks like we won't have to worry about being the centers of attention after all…" I murmured to Fifi, as I pushed our way through the crowd to the other side, my own curiosity beginning to get the better of me at this point.

"You say that now, but…" Fifi began, quickly trailing off as she and I got our first glimpse at the cause of the pandemonium.

"Come on, kid, what are you, mute? Tell us how you caught that thing already, and tell us what it'll take to trade for it!"

"If nothing else, let's battle! I've never had the chance to battle a real life legendary before, and that thing doesn't even look that tough, so I bet I can kick your ass!"

Amongst all of the loud and obnoxious caterwauling, there stood a boy that looked to be around my age, with short, messy blue hair and glasses, though his stature left even more to be desired than my own. Perched atop his head was a small pink cat that I had never thought in a million years I would ever see in real life, its long, slender tail wrapped loosely around the boy's neck almost like a scarf, and the curious, whimsical expression displayed on its face was at complete odds with the look of abject horror that showed on the boy's face. Backed up against a wall, it appeared as if he had been well and truly trapped there against his will by the throngs of students that were clamoring to get a look at his Pokémon.

"I-I-I-I-I d-d-don't w-wanna…" he stuttered, somehow finding a way to sound even meeker than he looked as he shook his head vehemently, jostling the Mew back and forth atop it, who seemed to take it as some sort of game.

"Aw, come on, kid!" shouted the self-assured ass-kicker. "Don't be a pussy! Why the fuck did you even come here if you don't wanna battle? Don't tell me you're one of those little Ranger bitches!"

"N-N-N-No, I-I j-just don't wanna…" the kid replied, drawing a look of disgust from the other guy.

"How the hell did a loser like _you_ get a Pokémon like that? You don't deserve to have a legendary, you pussy!"

The kid, rather than defend himself, merely continued to shake his head, shutting his eyes tightly as he tried to avoid all of the judging gazes that surrounded him.

"Hey, Mew, you don't wanna have a useless piece of shit like that for a trainer, do you?" said Asskick. "Come on, come join my team, we're strong as hell, way stronger than that loser!"

"Screw you, if anyone should have that Mew, it should be _me_!" came the voice of the Bidoof Boy from earlier, getting up in Mr. Asskick's face.

"Like hell!" Asskick Johnson responded, pushing Bidoof Boy away.

"Y'all BOTH need to step back and know your roles, _I'M_ the only trainer worthy of a Mew around here!" interjected Rattata Lad, pushing his way forward towards the other two idiots to make the shoving match a three-way affair.

"You wanna fight over it, bitches?!" Asskick McGoo shouted, reaching towards his waist for a Pokéball and yanking it off his belt violently. "'Cause let me tell you now, ain't neither of you want a piece of me and my team!"

"You're all a bunch of morons, you know that?"

The three stooges all stopped their bickering instantly to turn towards the source of the last voice, as did everyone else. I, on the other hand, merely looked down at her with a look of disbelief.

"Shit, Fifi, now is not the time!" I hissed through clenched teeth, which she promptly ignored.

"Who the hell said that?" Asskick Jones ejaculated, looking around the crowd in a fury at every single girl, obviously oblivious to the fact that it was a Pokémon that had just insulted him. "I don't even care if you're a girl, your ass is fucking grass! Now fess up, bitch!"

"Fifi, I swear to God, if you say one more word…" I whispered, trying my damndest not to let anyone else hear me.

"You got something to say, faggot?" Asskick Smith sneered, coming up to me and getting right up in my face.

I really needed to learn how to whisper quieter.

I shook my head, before quickly gagging and jerking my face away from his. "G-Gah, yeah, you _really_ need to brush your teeth, dude. Christ almighty, you smell like you've been _eating_ a lot more ass than you've been kicking…"

I also really needed to learn to listen to my own advice.

"The fuck you just say, you little cocksucker?!" Assmunch Brown said, grabbing me by the collar before I could really react in any way, still overpowered by his noxious breath. While most everyone instinctively backed away from us, Fifi, of course, did the exact opposite.

"Let go of my trainer, you jerk!" she shouted, pushing herself between us and causing Assy to release me immediately, as he stared in dumbfounded silence back at her, along with everyone else in the crowd.

"…Did… Did you just…" he stuttered, looking from Fifi to me in shock.

"Yeah, that's right." Fifi exclaimed, all semblances of that timidness from earlier gone as she stood defiantly in front of me, her seldom used stick at the ready, pointed straight at Assy's face. "Touch my trainer again, and your breath isn't the only thing you'll have to worry about smelling rancid. And while you're at it, leave that other guy alone, too, all of you! We won't stand for any bullying!"

"…Holy shit." Assy uttered, causing the entire crowd to begin its clamoring once more.

"A talking Pokémon?! Dude, you've _GOTTA_ trade me that thing!"

"NO, I NEED IT!"

"NO, ME!"

Fifi impulsively backed back up towards me, reclaiming my hand with her free one.

"Sh-Shut up, all of you!" she cried. "I already have a trainer, and he's NOT trading me for anything! …R-Right, Stone…?"

"Of course not." I said emphatically. "Don't even bother asking, because the answer is going to be the same as it always has been, a big fat no. I mean, Jesus Christ, do you guys even HEAR yourselves? If it was one of _you_ with the talking Pokémon or the Mew or whatever, do you think you would ever even consider doing something so idiotic? Get real!"

"Wow, why is it always fucking losers that get the good Pokémon?" Assy exclaimed, quickly shaking his head in disgust at me and Fifi. "But eh, you two can fuck off, a talking Pokémon is one thing, but I don't think I'd want one that's so annoying anyways. This ain't even about you dweebs, though, this is about that pussy over there and how big of a little _**BITCH**_ he is!"

"I-I'm not a…" the boy whimpered, seemingly too ashamed to repeat the last word.

"If you ain't a bitch, then man the fuck up and battle!" Assy shouted, Rattata Lad and Bidoof Boy clamoring in agreement behind him as they both reached for their Pokéballs as well. As the boy continued to shake his head in defiance, Assy marched up to him and looked ready to assault him in much the same way he planned to do to me, but as he reached forward to grab a piece of him, he was blocked as a translucent, pale blue bubble formed around the kid, pushing Assy back into the other two goons. The Mew, even with its playful expression, seemed to have an air of perception about it, as it had been studying Assy the entire time.

"Aw, isn't that cute!" Assy said after a moment, holding his hands at his face mockingly. "You're just like that other faggot over there, you both have to let your Pokémon fight your battles for you!"

I exchanged a dumbfounded gaze with Fifi. "…Uh, sorry to interrupt, but we're all Pokémon Trainers, aren't we? Isn't letting our Pokémon fight our battles for us, uh, you know, kinda sorta what we do?"

"You again?" Assy said in annoyance, whipping his head back around towards me. "You and that bitch of a Pokémon of yours don't know when to shut up and mind your own business, do you?"

I narrowed my gaze at the jackass, setting my computer down beside my suitcase and Fifi's stool, my own temper beginning to flare up at this point. "Okay, it's one thing for you to call me and that poor kid names like a twelve year old on DevBox Live, but I really don't appreciate you calling my Pokémon by such an awful name. Grow the fuck up and leave that dude alone already, he already told you and those other two dumbasses that he didn't want to battle or trade. Why don't you all learn how to listen and let him get on with his day?"

Rather than respond like a normal, civilized person, Assy let out a laugh more obnoxious than Flint's and flipped me the bird. "And just what the hell are _you_ going to do to make me do that, faggot? You and your little bitch there think you can beat me and my team in a battle? I'll bet you don't even have any other Pokémon besides that cunt, do you? God, and that fucking hat, you're a _Teddiursas fan_? Holy fucking shit, you are the biggest fucking loser I've seen since… Well, _that_ big fucking loser over there!"

In all my haste, I hadn't even noticed the Talonflames shirt Assy was wearing. I should've known by his limited vocabulary that there was a good reason for his awfulness, but now I knew it was just genetic.

Now, I had no qualms about returning his vitriol in stride.

"Okay, listen here, Assy, I'll make you a deal." I began, making my way over to the blue haired boy's side with Fifi beside me, before Assy had a chance to try and escalate things even further. "Me and Fifi will battle with you, and when we win, you and those other two shitstains behind you will make like a Suicune, Entei, and Raikou, and fuck off, or else I'll have Fifi set that shitty, sweat-stained, Dorito bib of yours on fire like she wanted to earlier."

"And why the fuck would I want to do that for, faggot? What do I get if _I_ win?"

"Well…" I began, shifting my gaze to the side, not actually know what to say as my mouth had spoken without my brain's permission. "…Uh… I mean…"

"If you win, you can have me."

My eyes nearly bulged out of my head at the sound of Fifi's voice.

"Fifi, w-what the fuck?!" I sputtered, shaking my head rapidly at her.

"Ohohoho, is that so?" Assy exclaimed, suddenly in a much more cooperative mood. "Alright then, you've got yourself a deal! And _I'm_ about to have me a talking fucking Pokémon, bwahahahahahaha!"

"Don't worry, Stone." Fifi said, giving me a look of utmost confidence. "There's no way a loudmouthed prick like this guy can beat us. He's obviously all bark and no bite."

My words got caught in my throat, as all I could manage to do was continue to shake my head madly back at her. As the crowd around us began to form a circle, Assy threw down his Pokéball, and shouted something I absolutely did not want to hear.

"Go, Garchomp!"

Fifi's look of confidence quickly drained from her face, as this was not the unevolved little shit that she had been expecting. It also was certainly not the type of Pokémon I would have ever expected someone from a shithole like Ordurave Town to have access to… Once again, I had let my big fucking mouth talk me into an absolutely Godawful situation... All in all, I was pretty sure Fifi and I both had the same exact thought going through our minds at that point.

… _Ffffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck_.

* * *

A/N: Well, hopefully it won't take me quite so long to get the next chapter up, but honestly, I don't think anyone's really going to give much of a shit either way. If anyone is still reading at this point and does care for whatever reason, then yeah, I'll try to get the next chapter up quicker, my bad. I just got lots of shit to do and not much time to write is all. But yeah, have a good one, all.


	3. Chapter 3

Yoiks, sorry for the wait, peeps. I've been preoccupied by things this past month or so, mainly _**THE FUCKING CUBS WINNING THE WORLD SERIES HOLY SHIT YES.**_ Oh, and also new Pokémans. But yeah, basically I would _like_ to say I've been passed out drunk since then and that's the predominate reason as to why I haven't updated sooner, but it's more because I just work all day almost every day and have no time to write for very long anymore. So I've been writing this up in bits and pieces, as I'm sure you'll be able to tell by how all over the place the writing probably is. Hopefully it is still somewhat readable, though. Anyways, I'mma stop rambling now. Hope you enjoy.

* * *

" _How the hell do I keep getting into these kinds of situations…?"_

I continued to shake my head in a stunned stupor, unable to come up with anything close to a reasonable answer to my own query. As I stared ahead at the fucking _Garchomp_ , everything I had for breakfast felt as if it wanted to come out the wrong end all at once, and it was all I could do just to keep that from happening.

"Heheh, y'all don't look very confident anymore, bitches." Assy sneered. "You'd best get to saying your goodbyes to each other, 'cause you won't be together for very much longer, ahuehuehuehuehue!"

"…N-No, shut up!" Fifi said, shakily but emphatically standing her ground. "Y-You may think you have an overwhelming advantage, but that's only because you've never seen us in action! C-Come on, Stone! W-We can d-d-do this…!"

"Uh… Y-Yeah." I said, nodding absentmindedly back to Fifi as my mind raced, trying to find some way, _any_ way, to get out of this mess. Sure, we may have been undefeated outside of my family back home in Kanak Town, but we'd never had to go up against anything tougher than level twenty-something mid-stage evolutions, and I wouldn't exactly call most of my schoolmates back there anything more than casual battlers. I didn't want to doubt Fifi's abilities, but… Fuck, this thing had to be at least twenty or more levels higher than her, with a severe type advantage to boot. But… We _had_ to win this now. Fifi, bless her kindhearted nature wanting to help Mew Boy out, but… Shit, she really needed to learn when to keep her mouth shut. But then, who am _I_ to rail on her about that? She wouldn't have made such an absurd, knee-jerk declaration if I hadn't thrown down the idiotic challenge in such an overconfident manner in the first place. Smooth fucking move there, Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes…

Damn it, I didn't have time for my self-loathing bullshit, I had to think of a way out of this, and fast. Man, where the hell were all the teachers, anyways? There's no way this kind of crap was acceptable behavior, right…? Turning back to Assy, I tried to push this point across to him, hoping he at least had the good sense to fear being expelled his first day here. "H-Hey, uh, just a minute, we can't battle _here,_ in the freaking school's entrance! There's probably already a shit ton of faculty on their way here now, if they catch us battling, we're both going to get in deep, deep shit! W-Why don't we just uh, postpone this until later, preferably somewhere much more open and less conspicuous than here?"

"Shut up, you pussy." Assy snapped back, clearly not caring about any sorts of repercussions. "This was your idea in the first place, so get ready to get fucking owned! And once I beat you and claim your little bitch as my own, I'm gonna do the same thing to that loser behind you and his soon to be former Mew!"

I seethed at his continued disrespect of Fifi, but was momentarily distracted as Mew Boy let out another depressingly pathetic sounding whimper behind me. Turning around, I tried to give him as reassuring of a look as I could muster. Which, safe to say, probably did more harm than good. Looking at Fifi, however, I could see that timidity from earlier creeping back into her stance, which was not something I wanted to see, at all. I had to think and act quickly; if I let Fifi fall back into her funk, there was no way in hell we would stand a chance against that fucking beast. Not that anyone there seemed to think we had a chance in the first place, but I'd sooner stick a cactus up my own ass before I let someone else have Fifi.

"L-Look, pal, don't worry. No one's taking anyone else's Pokémon today, or any day, for that matter. At least, not while I'm around. Like Fifi said, we don't take kindly to bullies." Turning back towards Assy, I pointed at him and glowered. "Especially loud mouthed turds like you. I _really_ don't appreciate you referring to Fifi with such disgusting terms, and I don't give a shit if you have an entire _team_ of overpowered dragons, we aren't going to let you ruin this guy's or anyone else's first day here, and you sure as _hell_ ain't taking Fifi. Feefs, you ready?"

Fifi turned to me and, seeing the look of total confidence that I was completely and utterly faking, nodded back with vigor. "Yeah! W-We aren't scared! …Much. B-But this is what we've been training for! So bring it on, and hit me with your worst, if you even can!"

If my little display of false bravado had affected Assy in any way, he sure didn't show it.

"Heh, isn't that just precious." he said, grinning and showing off the kind of horrifying (lack of) dental care that was practically a trademark of anyone from Ordurave Town. "Don't worry, I'll make this quick. Garchomp, use Dragon Claw!"

The Garchomp rushed forward at Fifi, rearing back its arm as it began to radiate with a blue and red glow, but curiously, had taken a moment to glance back at Assy before doing so. Fifi had already locked eyes with the beast, doing her best to read its movements. That split second of hesitation from the Garchomp was all we needed to take advantage of.

"Fi, step back and return fire!"

Fifi gave a quick nod, doing as I said before I had even finished saying it, swiftly stepping back and narrowly avoiding the Garchomp's powerful claw, then releasing a quick burst of flame from her stick at its head while it was off balance. Of course, such an attack barely fazed the Garchomp, but it gave Fifi enough time to scramble away and regroup before it launched its next assault.

"G-Good job, Fi!" I said, my heart pounding out of my chest from the sheer closeness the Garchomp's attack had been to tearing into Fifi.

"Grr, asshole!" Assy snarled, before pointing forcefully at Fifi. "Garchomp, come on! Dragon Rush!"

"Shit." I uttered involuntarily, as the Garchomp turned back towards Fifi and, after spending another moment seemingly contemplating something, began to make a mad rush towards her, its whole body becoming engulfed in the blue and red flames. Again, however, that small bit of lag in its attack was just enough, and as it reared back to throw itself full force at Fifi, I cried out to her, seeing an opening. "Fi, up and over!"

Fifi complied, pointing her stick downwards and hopping up, shooting a short but powerful jet of flames at the ground that was enough to propel her over the Garchomp. The crowd of students that were making up the walls of the 'battle arena' had to hastily scramble out of the way as the Garchomp barreled recklessly towards them, unable to halt its momentum until it crashed into a tall potted plant, utterly destroying the poor thing in the process, as well as damaging the wall behind it.

" _Greeeeat."_ I thought to myself, cringing at the wanton property damage that was already occurring. _"So much for that whole stalling for a teacher plan. They're not gonna like this at all…"_

"St-Stone?" Fifi stuttered in both urgency and confusion, snapping me back to reality.

"J-Just keep peppering it with shots until it gets up!" I ordered, realizing the only chance we had of winning this was by chip damage, then using one big, final attack once the Garchomp was on the ropes. Fifi did as told, running and blasting the Garchomp with little pea-shooter shots of fire from her 'wand', which, while not doing much at all, at least kept the Garchomp from getting right back up, and kept it under pressure as it looked in disinterest over at Assy for its next instructions.

"What the FUCK!" Assy bellowed, stomping the ground in frustration as he leered at his Garchomp, though unfortunately I don't think it effected its defense any. "Come the fuck on, Garchomp! How the hell are you having trouble?! It's just a Braixen! I traded a perfectly good Wurmple for you at that damn Wonder Trade Station, so you'd better stop being such a pussy and actually fucking CONNECT WITH YOUR ATTACKS!"

The Garchomp, rather than look pissed off in any way by its own trainer's verbal berating, appeared as if it wasn't really paying much attention to Assy at all. Normally, I would have used this lull in Assy's assault to my advantage and had Fifi launch an attack of her own, but I couldn't afford to be reckless here, especially since Fifi only had two attacks that could even hope to scratch the damn thing, and I didn't want to tip my hand to Assy and reveal them at points where the Garchomp could easily avoid them.

"Grah! Are you even listening to me?!" Assy continued. "Fine then, if you're that damn rusty with your physical attacks, then let's try something different! Try avoiding _this_ , you little bitch! Garchomp, HYPER BEAM!"

"Sh-Shit, Fi, look out!" I cried, as the Garchomp reared its head back and began to form a bright, yellow ball of energy from its gaping maw. "T-Try to time it, and sidestep!"

Fifi nodded, staring intently into the Garchomp's eyes, or at least, attempting to. The light from the Garchomp's attack seemed to momentarily blind her, and before she could really react at all, the Garchomp let loose the massive beam of energy, blasting her with a direct hit, and sending her crashing into the wall behind her. My heart dropped into my stomach as I rushed over to the rubble of the wall where she lay, throwing myself to my knees as I began to try and dig her out from underneath it, hoping and praying she was alright.

"FIFI! F-Fuck, no! C-Come on, p-p-please be okay…!"

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" I could hear Assy laughing from afar. "Fuck yes! That's what I'm talking about! That's why you don't fuck with me, bitch! Nobody beats Rumpus fuckin' Banstead, you all hear? Now, dig that damn Braixen of yours out and hand her over to a _real_ trainer!"

"G-Gah, no…" I whimpered, wanting to die as I realized what my defeat here meant… I refused to look at Assy, or Rumpus, or whatever the fuck his name was, as my vision stayed focused entirely on Fifi's limp, battered body. From the crowd of students that had gathered between me and Assy, I noticed some sort of commotion in my peripheral vision, and glancing over, I could see the Mew Boy making his way through the crowd, stumbling over to my side, where he gave me a teary-eyed look of regret.

"Ah, n-n-n-no, I'm s-s-so sorry…" he said, shaking his head rapidly at me, his Mew struggling mightily just to stay on. "I… I-I didn't mean to… Y-You shouldn't h-h-have to…"

I looked back at him and shook my head. I wanted to tell him it wasn't his fault… But I couldn't get my mouth to move. I was afraid of what would come out if I opened it, and it sure wasn't going to be words. I… I could hardly breath. There was no way I could back out of this now… Not with so many people watching. They would never let me get away with not holding up to 'my' end of the deal… This… This couldn't be happening… Fifi… I… I can't believe I…

"…W-Why do you l-look so defeated already, St-Stone?"

My eyes shot back to attention, as did everyone else's except Assy, who was too busy laughing like a jackass, at the sound of Fifi's voice. I stumbled back onto my rear as she began to make her way, slowly, painfully, but surely, back to her feet. She shook herself lightly as she tried to loosen the bits of rubble and dust that had gotten stuck in her fur, but grimaced in doing so, nearly collapsing back to the ground in the process. As I reached forward to catch her, however, she quickly caught herself and shook her head at me.

"No, y-you can't interf-fere in the m-middle of a battle, s-silly." she said, giving me a small, distressed smile.

"F-Fi?!" I exclaimed, shaking my head in disbelief back at her impossible recovery. "B-But, how…?! That… That Hyper Beam looked so brutal…!"

Fifi giggled faintly, pointing at her collar. Shit… That's right, how could I have forgotten…? It had gotten so well-worn and tattered over the years… I was so used to seeing it as just a plain choker, and the little dangly metal heart with her name on it hanging from it did a great job of detracting from it… But make no mistake, the Focus Sash that mom and dad had repurposed into a collar for her when I first found her had obviously not lost one bit of its mysterious power. Sweet Jesus, being raised in a family of trainers sure had its benefits at times… I would have to remember to thank them both profusely for it later, assuming we managed to somehow make it through without the outcome staying the same as it had just appeared to have gone. Seeing the state Fifi was in, though… I wasn't sure we even had a snowball's chance anymore.

"Fi, wait…" I said, looking at her in distraught. "You're having trouble just standing… I don't want you to push yourself past your limits and _really_ get hurt…"

"Stone…" Fifi said, looking me square in the eye with a resolve I had never seen from her before in my life. "…I'm not going to lose. I will cripple myself before I let anyone take me away from you." I began to raise an objection, but she quickly stopped me. "This is my fault for putting myself on the line in the first place. My life will be over anyways if I let myself lose this, so there are no limits I'm not willing to push right now to ensure our victory. So come on, and let's win this, master…"

I looked back, and seeing the sheer, fiery determination in her eyes, I merely nodded. There was nothing else I could do to respond to that, and now was not the time to be getting upset at her calling me by that embarrassing title… Particularly since it could be the last time she would ever have the chance to do so. Getting back up to my feet, the crowd began to scatter away once again, giving me a clear view of Assy, who was somehow _still_ laughing like a madman, oblivious to Fifi's hanging on, but more importantly, I also was able to see his Garchomp… And noticed that it was still recovering from the Hyper Beam. This was it, our only chance of pulling a victory out of our asses. I wouldn't give Assy a chance to anticipate our next strike. It was time to put Flint's overpowered TM moves to good use.

"Fifi, use Psychic, and put as much energy as you can spare behind it! We _need_ this to crit!"

"W-Wait, what the fuck?!" Assy choked, his laughter getting caught in his throat at the sound of my command, and nearly doubling over as he caught sight of Fifi. "N-No, that's impossible! G-Garchomp, watch out!"

Assy's words were meaningless even if the Garchomp had wanted to listen to them, as it was still too winded to budge an inch. Fifi pointed her wand at it, shutting her eyes and holding it steady as it began to tremble in her hand, a glowing, purple energy beginning to build up and course through it. Once it had reached the tip of the wand, Fifi's eyes shot back open, both of them shining brightly with the same purple hue, and a massive wave of psychic energy began to shoot out from the stick, engulfing the Garchomp, who, in its already weakened state, was quickly brought to its knees, and then knocked to the ground entirely, shooting across the shiny, tiled floor like a hockey puck, stopping only thanks to the heroic sacrifice of another potted plant. Fifi held the attack going as long as she could, but soon enough, it began to wane away, and she too collapsed back to her knees, though she managed to keep herself balanced enough to stay more vertical than the Garchomp.

"Yeah, great job, Fi!" I exclaimed, jumping up with excitement as the members of the crowd that were near me began to marvel. "You really hammered it, you've got it on the ropes!"

It was obvious the attack had taken as much out of her as it had the Garchomp, however, as she winced in pain when she tried to smile back at me. Gah, I shouldn't have told her to expend so much energy on that Psychic… But it had caught the Garchomp off guard, and critically hit it just as we needed it to. If Fi could just get one more attack off…

"Mnagh, you fucking CHEATER!" Assy seethed, pointing at me in a childish rage. "That's not fair! The battle was supposed to be over! You must've slipped that bitch a Revive when I wasn't looking!"

I shook my head in disbelief at Assy's absurd claims. "Are you friggin' nuts? Or have you just never heard of held items before?"

"Bullshit!" Assy ranted. "Your Pokémon ain't holding SHIT!"

I smacked myself on the forehead, since I couldn't reach Assy to do it to him. "You… Th-They don't _literally_ hold these things in their… God, I knew people from Ordurave Town were nothing but a bunch of inbred backwoods dipshits, but I didn't know the gene pool had been diluted _this_ much."

"Hey! You shut the fuck up, you filthy cocksucking Teddiursa fan fag!" Assy shot back. "That's it! I am ending this, here and now! Let's see your little bitch survive _THIS_! GARCHOMP, USE FUCKING EARTHQUAKE!"

"Oh, _**fuck**_." I sputtered, my smug grin vanishing in an instant. The crowd around us seemed to have the same thought process, as they all hastily began to scramble away and out of the building, not wanting to be inside when it all came crumbling down around and on top of us. Fifi and I, unfortunately, were in no position to follow suit, and Mew Boy seemed to be rooted to the spot in fear himself.

"ARE YOU SERIOUSLY THIS FUCKING IDIOTIC?!" I shouted at Assy in bewilderment. "JESUS CHRIST, YOU REALLY _ARE_ NUTS! YOU'RE GOING TO DESTROY THE ENTIRE BUILDING IF YOU USE THAT MOVE INSIDE IT!"

"FUCK YOU, I'M NOT FUCKING LOSING!" Assy screamed back.

Realizing I was speaking to a brick wall, I frantically turned my attention away from him and towards Fifi. "Shit, Fi, I-I don't know what to do!"

Fifi let out a short whimper of acknowledgement, shaking her head as we both looked towards the Garchomp in dread as it slowly raised itself back up. "M-Me neither… I… I don't think I can get another attack off in time before it…"

"BWAHAHA, TIME TO GET OWNED, FAGGOTS!" Assy cried out. My brain had shut down, and my body was beginning to follow suit, and as I watched the Garchomp raise its foot up, I quickly shut my eyes, and began to pray as fast as possible in my head for myself and Fifi. As I waited for the inevitable, I felt Fifi rush over and cling to my side, and I held on to her tightly, kneeling down and hunkering down as best I could. There we waited, every muscle in my body clenched in preparation for the pain.

…And we waited.

…And waited some more.

"…YOU FUCKING DICKHOLE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

At the sound of Assy's terribly unpleased and unpleasant voice, I opened my eyes, glancing over to where he stood, watching as he marched right up to his Garchomp, who, rather than listen to his command and destroy the school building along with everyone inside, had turned its back on him, leaning against the broken wall to catch its breath.

"YOU IDIOT! LISTEN TO ME, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" Assy screamed, seemingly oblivious to the fact that he was shouting these things at a giant fucking _**shark-dragon**_ that was within arm's reach of him and fully capable of stopping his verbal abuse in a variety of painful, bloody ways. Luckily for him, however, the Garchomp seemed just as willing to listen to those words as he was the last ones, being far more concerned with itself and recovering from Fifi's psychic onslaught.

"YOU! FUCKING! _RETARD!_ HOW DARE YOU DISOBEY ME! YOU NO GOOD, ROTTEN, LOUSY SHITHEAD! I'M JUST AS WORTHY OF YOUR OBEDIENCE AND RESPECT AS WHATEVER OTHER DICK-FOR-BRAINS TRAINER YOU HAD BEFORE ME! WHO CARES THAT I DON'T HAVE ANY BADGES YET?! I AM YOUR GOD DAMNED _MASTER_ , AND YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME, OR ELSE!"

The Garchomp continued to give exactly zero fucks to Assy, his threats about as effective as they probably were when he was shouting them at other five year olds trapped in the bodies of teenagers through the joys of online gaming. As my mind began to process what I was seeing however, the realization of the situation dawned on me.

"Shoot, Fifi, here's our chance!" I cried, drawing her attention towards the currently vulnerable Garchomp. "One more big attack should do it!"

Fifi nodded perceptively, seemingly reading my mind as to what I was about to ask. "It's… It's time for _that_ attack, isn't it?"

"Yeah, if you can land _that_ , there's no way it'll be able to survive it, not in the shape it's in!" I replied. Being in such close proximity to her, I could feel her every breath, and… We were breathing in total sync with one another. I had heard about trainers and their Pokémon being able to enter into such a state, but I had thought that only experienced trainers who had hundreds of battles with their Pokémon were capable of doing so…

"Ah, Stone, do you…?" Fifi exclaimed, seemingly noticing it as well as we locked eyes. I nodded slowly back at her, my lips forming a confident smile, which she was quick to return, our minds working in perfect unison.

"Alright Fi, you ready?" I asked needlessly, as I already knew her answer before she nodded. "Let's do this, then… TIME FOR THE WALK OFF HOME RUN! FIFI, USE RETURN, AND SEND THAT SUCKER OUT OF THE PARK!"

"Bwahaha, what the fuck?" Assy sneered, momentarily distracted from shitting on his own Pokémon to shit on me and Fifi. "You taught your Braixen a fucking physical attack? And you call _me_ an idiot? Your pathetic little fox probably hits worse than _you_ do!"

I was only too happy to return his look of smugness. "You've never seen me hit, have you? All I do is strike out, like I have a hole in my bat. Fifi, though?"

My eyes turned towards Fifi, who had gotten into her batter's stance. Holding her stick like a bat, she concentrated intently, focusing every last remaining bit of her energy and willpower, forming a thick, pink blob of psychic energy in front of her. I couldn't help but grin at Assy, knowing what was coming next.

"Fifi fucking _rakes_."

Once she had used up almost everything she had left to form it, she reared back, and let it rip, smashing her stick into the blob with a mighty crack of fizzling psychic energy, sending the blob shooting forward at a blinding speed, where it crashed into the Garchomp with the force of a cannonball, knocking it over with a resounding thud. Almost immediately as soon as the dust cleared, the entire crowd rushed back inside, circling us once again as they began to clamor in astonishment at what they had just witnessed.

"What the hell kind of move was THAT?!"

"Did… Did that really just happen?"

"What kind of a Braixen is capable of toasting a Garchomp like that…?"

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!" I shouted triumphantly, unable to contain myself. "You did it, Fi! You kicked that thing's ass! I knew you could do it!"

"N-No… _We_ did it, Stone…" Fifi said, limping over and collapsing beside me, utterly exhausted. Through her pain wracked expression, however, I could tell she was filled with just as much joy and relief as I was. Assy, on the other hand…

"BULLSHIT! BULLSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!"

Stomping over to his defeated Garchomp, he yanked its Pokéball from his belt and recalled it, absolutely furious with edgy teenage rage.

"YOU USELESS IDIOT! WHAT THE HELL KIND OF PERFORMANCE WAS THAT?!"

"A losing one." I stated, answering Assy's question in place of his defeated Garchomp, drawing his ire back my way. "Time for you to ride the wind to Fuckoff Town, Suicune."

"What, you think you're hot shit all of a sudden?!" Assy snapped back, his eyes wild and frenzied as he shook his head madly and began to make his way over to me, stopping halfway as Fifi raised her stick towards him in warning. Nevertheless, he began to cackle once more. "You just got fucking lucky, that's all! If that piece of shit would have listened to me, I would've mopped the fucking floor with you!"

"Too bad for you all that matters in the end is the outcome, not the journey there." I responded. "Now are you gonna shove off, or are we gonna have to _make_ you leave?"

"Ahaha, I think you've got the wrong idea there, loser." Assy said, his composure returning to him. "That may have been _that_ fight's outcome, but this battle's journey ain't over yet." Assy reached down to his belt, pulling off another Pokéball, and all those feelings of joy and relief went flying out the window.

"…Fuck."

"GO, SALAMENCE!"

Right out the fucking window, into the street, where they were ran over by a parade of steamrollers and dumped into the sewers to be mauled by plague carrying Raticates.

"FUCK!"

Assy broke out into another fit of obnoxious laughter. "Yeahaha, your little bitch there doesn't look too hot, I don't think she's gonna be pulling off anymore fluke miracles, hehehehehehehe!"

Fifi gritted her teeth and struggled to her feet, but it was clear that she was to the point where a particularly strong gust of wind could knock her out, her haggard breaths matching my own in desperation and panic.

"…Shit…" I muttered, looking at Fifi dejectedly. "…Fifi… You can't…"

She shook her head, nearly losing her balance in the process. "…I h-have to… I-I can't… Lose…"

"Time to end this pathetic game!" Assy cried out. "Salamence, Aerial Ace!"

The Salamence launched itself through the air at Fifi, and even with the same hesitation as the Garchomp before it, Fifi was in absolutely no shape to be dodging anything else… I couldn't believe it… This wasn't how today was supposed to go… Fifi, this is all… My fault…

…I'm sorry…

"…WHAT THE FUCK, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?!"

Hearing Assy's rage reform and echo throughout the room, my gaze shot back up to Fifi, who, though still trembling in dread and anticipation for the Salamence's attack, was none the worse for wear… Primarily due to the thin, translucent blue barrier that had appeared between her and the Salamence, causing the Salamence to bounce harmlessly off.

"BITCH, YOU'RE GONNA PROTECT STALL, REALLY?!" Assy shouted incredulously at me.

"W-What?" I replied, dumbfounded. "I-I didn't… Fifi doesn't know Protect…"

"…Th-This isn't fair. I… I won't let you do this…"

All eyes in the room turned to Mew Boy, who for the first time, was standing upright and not shaking like an easily cut down tree in gale force winds. Beside him floated his Mew, whose eyes were glowing a deep, brilliant blue.

"Oh, so NOW you want a piece of me?" Assy retorted, glaring back at Mew Boy, before quickly putting on a smug, shit-eating grin. "…Alright then, that's fine by me. Winning two incredibly rare Pokémon in one battle, now THAT'S going to make me into a legend."

I turned to Mew Boy and shook my head, as did Fifi.

"H-Hey, wait, y-you don't have to do this…" I proclaimed, not wanting to cause him and his Mew to suffer the same fate as me and Fifi.

Mew Boy, however, shook his head back at me. "No… I do. This isn't your or your Braixen's fault, this is all _my_ fault, you guys were just trying to defend me… If I wouldn't have been acting like such a wimp, you two wouldn't have gotten yourselves caught up in this awful mess to begin with. But I'm… I'm not going to let this happen to you. I won't let him take your Pokémon away from you. Let us handle this, and let your Braixen rest, please…"

I looked from Mew Boy to Fifi, who seemed less than pleased to have to drag him and his Mew into this, as was I… But… I couldn't allow Fifi to put herself in harm's way any longer. I turned back to Mew Boy and nodded.

"Alright, if you're sure…"

Mew Boy, for the first time, smiled, if only faintly.

"Thank you, both of you. I won't let you down." he said, before motioning to his Mew. "Mew… I know it's been a long while since we've done this kind of thing, but… Do you think you have it in you to fight?"

Mew nodded happily, letting out some sort of airy giggling noise as it did an excited little somersault in the air.

"Alright, are you faggots done sucking each other's dicks yet?" Assy called out. "Come on, let's get this over with already!"

I gave Assy one last glare as I helped Fifi over to the sidelines, Mew Boy and his Mew taking our places on the battlefield opposite Assy and his Salamence. The crowd around us began to buzz with anticipation, clearly much more excited to watch a Mew in action than they were for Fifi, which was perfectly fine by me. I would've probably been pretty jazzed myself to see such a thing in person, were the situation different. As it was, however, I couldn't help but keep my jaw clenched in trepidation, knowing just how important it was for Mew Boy to win this thing.

"Alright, let's see how strong your pussy really is, pussy!" Assy said, once more displaying his impeccable, voluminous vocabulary. "Salamence, use Double Edge!"

Before the Salamence had even made it halfway to the Mew, Mew Boy cried out, "ICE BEAM, NOW!", and the Mew twirled around, grasping onto its tail like it was some sort of gun, then pointed it at the Salamence charging straight for it, and shot from it an instantaneous blast of freezing ice, so cold that I could feel it radiating from where I stood behind Mew Boy. It connected dead on with the Salamence, stopping it in its tracks mere inches before it reached the Mew, who didn't even flinch, as the frozen, defeated body of the Salamence fell down before it. All at once, everyone in the room began to hoot and holler in amazement at the feat, and I could do little more than look on in wide-eyed astonishment myself. I knew Salamence was extremely susceptible to Ice type attacks, but damn… That tiny little cat dropped it like a rock, and made it look comically effortless. Compared to how much of a struggle it was for Fifi to beat that Garchomp… I was suddenly feeling pretty dismal about mine and Fifi's chances of succeeding at this school, if this was how strong everyone else's Pokémon were…

"W-What…?! That's… No way!" Assy stuttered, staring ahead at his defeated dragon in disbelief. "H… How could…? That… THAT FUCKING THING WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE PERFECT IVS! HOW THE FUCK DID YOU JUST ONE SHOT IT LIKE IT WAS A FUCKING CATERPIE?!"

"…I… I don't know…" Mew Boy muttered, clearly even more distressed than I was to be the center of attention. "I-I told you I didn't want to battle…"

"You motherfucker!" Assy shouted, recalling his Salamence and quickly reaching down to snatch another ball from his waist. "Let's see you try that again! GO-"

"Alright, that's enough."

Before he could toss his next Pokéball, Assy's wrist was caught mid-throw by a stern-handed professor looking type. Following behind him were three other adults, whom I assumed were teachers, and on cue, the crowd of students began to flee and scatter out the door like the roaches they were. Within seconds, the only ones left in the room other than the teachers were me, Fifi, Mew Boy, his Mew, and Assy. With Fifi in the condition she was in, we weren't going to be getting away anytime soon, Mew Boy was again rooted to the spot, quivering in fear, and Assy had no hopes of escaping the professor's vice grip, struggle as he may. As the teachers began to survey the damage to the room, they started to converse in hushed tones with one another, shooting each of us less than pleased looks throughout.

"Professor Redwood, why on Earth did you have us wait so long before intervening?" asked one of the teachers, a tall, slender, elegant looking green haired woman in a navy blazer/orange turtleneck combo, an outfit whose color scheme was mirrored by her fellow teachers. The disapproving look she gave the lot of us was very reminiscent of the one my mother was so fond of, actually. It definitely was not making me homesick, that's for sure. "I mean, just look at how much damage you've allowed them to cause to our entryway, now every student that enters is going to see this and think we're some sort of awful, ghetto establishment!"

"Relax, Shula." the professor replied with a chuckle, in a pleasingly British accent. Like the other teachers, he wore a dark navy blazer with a sharp orange suit vest underneath, but the lab coat he wore over both was the tell-tale sign of a Pokémon Professor. His wavy, mostly jet black hair was beginning to show signs of graying around the roots, and his impeccably trimmed mustache and goatee were flecked with similar gray and white hairs, but other than that, his facial features didn't show much of the age that you expected most Pokémon Professors to be. He looked at us with a much kinder, though still stern expression. "It's nothing that can't be fixed or replaced by the end of the week. I do believe that any further battling should be reserved for a more proper time and place, however, if you all would be so kind."

I exchanged a nervous glance with Mew Boy, and we both nodded at the professor.

"Y-Yes sir…" I said, giving him an apologetic look as Fifi clutched my arm and hid behind me. "I'm, um, sorry about all the damage Fifi and I caused… We were trying to keep a fight from breaking out in the first place, and things just kind of… Got out of hand, ahahaha… Ha…"

'I'll say." quipped one of the other teachers in a slight southern twang. In contrast to her fellow teacher, she was short and stumpy, with wild, fiery hair and a much more casual looking attire underneath her blazer. She had a rather motherly look to her, and her words were more teasing than they were malicious. "Y'all tore this place up worse than a pack of wild Mightyena with a case of the liver tail!"

Seeing the looks of confusion on our collective faces from his colleague's… 'Unique' southern vernacular, the final teacher, an absolutely massive beast of a man in an ill-fitting button-up shirt (no blazer, presumably because they don't make them to fit tree trunks), let out a deep, hearty laugh, one which likely would've shaken the nearby windows, had they not already been shattered. "Yo Zel, remember, we ain't down home no more, most of these city kids ain't gonna know what the heck you mean when you talk like that around them." Turning towards us, his massive forest of blue dreadlocks nearly knocking into the first teacher in the process, he too gave us a much more genial look than I had been expecting after the sheer destruction we caused. "No need to worry, though. Like the professor said, this kind of thing happens often enough that we have the emergency contractors on speed dial."

"Yes, but remember, those emergency contractors also give us their 'emergency' pricing plans as well…" Shula muttered, still sounding far less thrilled about the situation than her colleagues were.

"Well, I'd imagine they'll be delighted to be hearing from us, in that case." the professor said with a cheeky grin, drawing an exasperated sigh from Ms. Serious. "Really though, this happens every year, you should be used to this by now, Shula."

"Just because I'm expecting it doesn't mean I have to be okay with it…" she mumbled back, shaking her head in displeasure. "…Regardless, I suppose I'd best get them over here sooner rather than later." With that, she nodded curtly to her fellow faculty members, turning and walking in the direction of a nearby office.

"Thanks, Shula. You're a doll, an absolute doll!" the professor called out to her, waving back to her with his free hand. It was then that he seemed to realize he was still squeezing the life out of Assy's wrist, and promptly released him.

"Yeesh, the hell kind of school is this, I thought they had rules against this kind of teacher-student interaction…" bemoaned Assy, who stood and rubbed his wrist gingerly. I was a little surprised that he didn't immediately try to book it, but I guess he had a little more common sense in his head when dealing with those that could get him expelled… Though not much, judging by his words.

"Yes, well, technically, there are also rules that forbid students from damaging school property, but I usually don't bother enforcing such stifling rules in situations such as this." the professor said simply. "Of course, if I were to enforce _one_ rule in any given situation, people would find it unprofessional and strange for me not to enforce the rest of them, so yeah, just easier to let it slide in cases like this, wouldn't you agree?"

Grumbling, Assy gave a shrug. "…Whatever."

"Ah, yes, that's just the kind of attitude and enthusiasm I like to see from my students." the professor said dryly, shifting his attention back towards me and Mew Boy so that he had a broad view of all three of us. "Regardless of all that, I'll bet your Pokémon could all use a rest after such an intense battle, so why don't we take care of that for you real quick?"

Immediately, Fifi began to shake her head as she sunk further behind me.

"Er, sorry, Fifi's kind of… Shy." I said, doing my best to bring Fifi back out from behind me to my side, if nothing else. "I mean, she's fine if I go with her, but she's real anxious around strangers."

"…Um, and I appreciate the offer, sir, b-but Mew… She's fine." Mew Boy stated, motioning over to the perfectly healthy looking cat that was currently amusing itself by doing loops around one of the nearby broken decorative pillars.

"Well, what about you then, Sunshine?" the professor asked, raising his eyebrow at Assy.

"…Bleh. Who cares." he spat back, shaking his head as he sulked even further into his own little world of butthurt.

"Goodness." Zel exclaimed. "You boys are more stubborn than a herd of ornery Gogoat…"

"W-Wait, no, don't lump us in with him!" I stated, shaking my head vehemently in defense of myself and Mew Boy. "Believe me, my first priority is getting Fifi healed, and well, if you guys saw that, ahem, 'battle', then you'd realize this dude's Mew isn't in any need of help…"

"Well, even so, why don't we _all_ take a trip to our onsite Pokécenter, just to be on the safe side?" the professor asked, clearly more for the sake of Assy's Pokémon than anything else. "You can stay with your Pokémon the whole way, so there's no need to worry about that."

I quickly nodded in agreement, more than happy to get Fifi fixed up as soon as possible. Mew Boy acquiesced as well, shrugging and nodding silently as he beckoned his Mew back over to him. Assy let out another angsty scowl as he slunk down even further, but did not argue as he fell in line alongside me and Mew Boy.

"Good, good." the professor said, turning to the other two teachers. "Zelda, Thaddeus, you guys can get back to what you were doing, I should be able to handle things from here on out."

"You sure, professor?" asked Thaddeus. "Zelda or I can show these guys where the Pokécenter is, don't you have your speech to prepare for?"

The professor made a sour face and shook his head. "Bah, no thanks. The less time I have to spend dealing with that nonsense, the better. I'll just wing it like I usually do, I highly doubt anyone's going to be paying any attention in the first place."

"If you say so, professor." Thaddeus replied, exchanging a curious glance with his fellow teacher before they both shrugged in unison. "Well, I suppose we'll be seeing you kids around, sooner or later."

"And please, try to act less like a bunch o' rabid Carvahna whenever that is, alright dears?" Zelda added with a laugh, as she and Thaddeus waved goodbye to the professor, quickly disappearing down one of the many hallways that split off from the massive, cavernous room.

"Well, isn't this exciting?" the professor exclaimed, clasping his hands together and looking at us expectantly. Seemingly not getting the reaction he was wanting, he continued, slightly deflated, "Exciting for _me_ , in any case. I hardly ever get a chance to interact with my students on such a personal level. Why, it's almost as if we're going on our own mini Pokémon journey!"

"I thought you were just taking us to the Pokécenter, you… Hngh, _sir…_ " Assy said, clenching his teeth to keep himself from uttering whatever obscenity he had wanted to call the professor.

"Oh, we are, but it's quite a ways there from here." the professor responded. "So, plenty of time to get acquainted with one another on the way there, just like a group of friends heading out on their very first Pokémon adventure together! So, shall we get a move on, chaps?"

With far more eagerness than the three of us combined, the professor began to make his way towards one of the many hallways, beckoning for us to follow him. I let out a small, unintentional snort of laughter as I watched him marching in place, waiting for us to follow. Of course, I was immensely relieved that I wasn't about to get expelled my first hour there, but… I wasn't expecting someone with as much apparent power in the school to be so casually flippant about things… I wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth, however. Not wanting Fifi to have to put any more strain on herself than she had to, I bent down and gently helped her onto my back so that I could carry her the rest of the way to the Pokécenter.

"Wow, _really_?" Assy uttered, shaking his head at me. "You know, there's this awesome new invention called the Pokéball, bro…"

I returned Assy's sneer with one of my own, Fifi contributing as well by sticking her tongue out at him. "Yeah, but I'm not about to dig it out from the depths of my suitcase." I stated, as I walked back over to said suitcase, which was miraculously undamaged in the whole affair, as was my laptop and Fifi's stool. I awkwardly shuffled the items about, handing the computer to Fifi to hold against me while I clutched her stool in one hand and the suitcase handle in the other. I could have probably thought this out way better, but it was too late now; I was already committed to looking like an absolute tool. Thank God Fifi didn't weigh very much…

"Now that's what I like to see, a trainer caring for their Pokémon enough to put their own body on the line for them." the professor said with a smile, as I struggled my way back over to the group. "You do look like you could use a hand, however."

The professor offered a helping hand my way, and I graciously handed him Fifi's stool and my suitcase. Shifting my computer under my arm, I placed my grip back onto Fifi's feet, and gave the professor a thankful nod, now only looking somewhat like a tool rather than absolutely like one. "Much obliged, sir."

"Come now, no need for such formalities." the professor said, as he began to lead us down the already bustling hallway. "If you must, you can call me by my 'proper' title of professor, but please, hold the 'sirs'. On that note, let me introduce myself to you all. I am Professor Archimedes Redwood, the currently appointed headmaster here at LeMasters, and it's a pleasure to make your acquaintances this fine day."

"Wait, what?" Assy exclaimed incredulously. " _You're_ the guy in charge here?"

"That's right!" Professor Redwood replied jovially. "I'm the head honcho, or at least, that's what they tell me. I can't really tell, to be honest, what with all the hoops I have to jump through just to get the smallest of things accomplished around here, but that's neither here nor there. My field of specialty is Pokémon reproduction, though only because all the desirable fields were already taken." Waiting for laughter that never came, he let out a cough and continued, "…I kid, of course. Sure, it may not be as glamorous a field as most, but I must say, I do believe I do a better job of it than that quack Elm over in Johto, at least. Would you believe that he claims to not know where Pokémon eggs come from? I mean, an actual, honest-to-God professor whose literal apparent 'specialty' is studying the breeding habits of Pokémon, and he thinks the bloody things just magic an egg out of thin air? Absolute rubbish, I tell you, whoever gave that man his license obviously has no place being in charge of something so important. No offense to you fine chaps, of course, but as big of prudes as most of you Americans are about human sexuality, at least you don't pretend that no one has ever seen two Pokémon rogering each other like those completely mental folks over in Japan do. And uh, no offense if any of you are Japanese as well, I can't bloody tell anymore what anyone from anywhere looks like these days…"

"…That's… Uh, interesting, professor…" I fibbed, trying to keep anymore awkward silences from occurring. "…Come to think of it, my uncle's told me about that, too. Something about how it's so bad over there that most people don't realize that Pokémon even have genetalia until they're well into adulthood."

Judging from the looks I got from Mew Boy and Assy, they would have preferred another awkward silence rather than for this topic of conversation to continue, and I couldn't say I disagreed with them, in retrospect. The professor was very eager to continue, though.

"Yes! Can you _believe_ such nonsense?" he replied, shaking his head. "How in the bloody hell does that even _work_? I mean, do the people running the Pokémon daycares over there just go 'Oh, innat weird, we was raisin' your Pokémon and then, blimey, this here egg just _magically appeared_ in between 'em! Disregard that goopy mess all over it, that's just excess magic that hasn't worn off yet!'? Good heavens, I shudder to think of how such a place can produce so many elite Pokémon trainers when guff like that is 'common knowledge' to them… But, well, I suppose there are better times to be discussing such matters, my apologies. I do believe that I've rambled on about myself quite enough. So hows about you lot get to introducing yourselves to one another? From what I saw of your little display, this would be your first time making one another's acquaintance, correct?" We all nodded, and the professor happily continued, "Ah, splendid! Even though you may have gotten off on the wrong foot with one another, that doesn't mean it has to stay that way! Surely, such misunderstandings will fall by the wayside once you all get to know each other a little better. Why don't we start with you, Sunshine, since you were the one who got you all caught up in this wonderful mess in the first place?"

As the professor looked back at Assy expectantly, he let out another grumpy scowl and shook his head. "I don't have anything to say to those two dorks, and you'll find out everything about me once my admission papers process."

"That's not a very proper greeting, Mr. Banstead." Professor Redwood replied, causing Assy to double take at the sound of his apparent surname. "I assume you'd rather introduce yourself rather than have me do it for you, wouldn't you? So let's try that again, shall we?"

Grumbling, Assy eventually caved in, but not before letting out another massively aggressive sigh of discontent. "…Fine, whatever. My name is Rumpus Banstead, and yes, my parents were both drunk when they named me that, thanks. Screw that, though, if they want to saddle me with such an awful name, I'll wear the damn thing with pride. It's way better than 'our little accident'… I'm from Ordurave Town, home of the _twenty-two time World Series Champion_ Ordurave Talonflames, and I'm here to follow their glorious example by becoming a legendary champion Pokémon trainer. I've been saving up my whole life to come here, and now that I've finally achieved this goal, it's on to the next one, which is kicking everyone here's ass and becoming School Champion every year I'm here."

"Yeah, good luck with that." I sniggered, drawing another murderous glare from him.

"Eat a bag of… You know what, no, just shut up, you idiot." he replied, again holding in his crass speaking urges around the professor, at least, the _really_ crass ones. "Like I said, you and your wimpy little fox girl there just got lucky. Once these babies get used to me, ain't _no one_ beatin' me in a battle."

"Whatever you say." I said, smirking. "Claim that me and Fifi got lucky all you want, but we still whooped your butt one-on-one. And that's not even saying anything about what _that_ dude did to you."

"Shut up, legendaries are overpowered as hell, they have no business in a normal Pokémon battle in the first place." said Assy. Or, well, I guess Rumpus, but Assy's basically the same thing in the end…

"Wow, whatever, dude." I said, shaking my head in disbelief at his backtracking. "Even though the whole reason I had Fifi fight your dumb ass in the first place was because you were so hell-bent on battling his Mew against his will to begin with."

"That was before, idiot." he instantly replied. "And only because I was being egged on. And also he wasn't even supposed to be involved in the first place, if you wouldn't have been such a sore loser and just taken your defeat like a man-"

"Oh, no, you don't GET to call _me_ a sore loser, you butthurt little baby." I fired back.

"Okay, that's enough, you two." the professor quickly and coolly interjected, falling behind and stepping between the two of us before things could get any more heated. "Tell us more about your Pokémon, Mr. Banstead. I'm eager to find out just what kind of a trainer you are, and your choice in Pokémon should be a good indicator of that."

"…Alright." Assy replied, turning away from me in a huff. "Well, you all already saw Garchomp and Salamence, but I also have a Metagross, a Tyranitar, and a Hydreigon. They're all super fierce, and together they're freakin' unbeatable."

"Good lord, how many days of your life did you waste at those awful Wonder Trade machines to get all those? And how does it feel to have an entire team of Pokémon that have absolutely zero respect for you as a trainer in any way?"

"Shut up." Assy snapped back. "You don't get to talk, all you have is that wimpy fox. What kind of idiot comes to a place like this without a full team of Pokémon? And yours isn't even fully evolved, what the hell do you even expect to accomplish here? You think just 'cause she can talk, that makes up for not having any other Pokémon?"

"Sorry, Assy, but some of us actually _care_ about our Pokémon." I scoffed. "Fifi isn't just some sort of replaceable tool to me like yours seem to be to you. Also, five Pokémon isn't a 'full team' either, you know. What happened, couldn't find any Dragonite or Goodra in time at the Wonder Trade station before you had to come here?"

"Wait now, back up a moment, what's all this about a talking Pokémon?" the professor asked, stopping in his tracks and looking at Fifi with curiosity, much to her chagrin.

I let out a small sigh, never particularly fond of this sort of inevitable reaction. "Er, y-yeah, Fifi can talk. Say hi to the professor, Fi."

Peeking ever so tentatively out from over my shoulder, Fifi cleared her throat and did as asked, if incredibly hesitantly. "…H-Hello, sir…"

"Oh my giddy aunt!" exclaimed the professor, nearly jumping out of his shoes in surprise. "Astounding! In all my years, I've never encountered a real life talking Pokémon before! How on Earth did you accomplish such a feat?"

"Um, I didn't really have much to do with it." I said, shrugging. "Fifi kind of just decided to learn on her own accord one day, and she picked up on it pretty quickly. She's just as fluent as any of us, now. But… Well, like I said, she's really shy around strangers, so don't expect her to be much of a chatterbox…"

"How absolutely fascinating…" the professor marveled. "The thought of a Pokémon deciding to learn how to speak a human language all on their own… I had no Earthly idea such a thing could even happen!"

"…W-Well, I didn't just decide to learn for no reason…" Fifi murmured, catching me by slight surprise, as she was usually reticent to speak up unless she had to in these kinds of situations. "I… Um, I did it for St-Stone… I-I wanted to… Um, well, th-that doesn't really matter… It's just… He always talked to me like I was a person, and it just felt odd not to be able to communicate back to him in any real manner… It wasn't very difficult to learn, really…"

"I see…" the professor said, nodding his head and smiling at the two of us. "The way you talk about one another, and just judging by your actions alone, I can tell you two must be very close."

"Ah, yeah, y-you could say that." I replied, chuckling in slight embarrassment. Fifi, on the other hand, was much more forthcoming.

"That's right!" she proclaimed. "Stone is my very best friend in the whole world, and the best mast-, er, t-trainer that I could ever ask for! I would do anything for him, because I lo-"

I let out a sudden, hacking cough, jostling Fifi just enough to interrupt her horrifically embarrassing monologue about me.

"Yep, Fifi and me are best friends forever." I stated, firmly so that Fifi wouldn't feel the need to say anything else on the matter besides her usual giggle of contentment.

"Christ, I'm going to throw up if you two losers keep talking like that…" Assy said, making a gagging noise as he stared at me and Fifi with contempt. Ignoring it as best I could, I quickly turned the conversation back to him, just as eager to change the subject as he was.

"Fine then, care to explain why you, Mr. Pokémon Master Extraordinaire, only have five Pokémon on your team if you expect to, aha, 'kick everyone's ass' while you're here?"

"Retard, I have six Pokémon." Assy responded, motioning towards his belt, where indeed, six Pokéballs hung. Waiting for him to continue, he instead decided to just leave his sentence at that.

"…Oooookay. Why did you only name five, then?" I prodded.

"None of your business, buttmunch."

"Alright, perhaps it is time we move on." Professor Redwood interjected, clearing his throat and turning towards me. "Why don't you tell us a little bit more about yourself and Fifi, Mr. Hardacre?"

I took a moment to consider how the professor knew what my last name was, but like Assy, decided to just overlook it, realizing the answer was probably too trivial to even ponder.

"A-Alright… My name is Stone, Stone Hardacre. I… Um, w-well, I don't really know what all to say, to be honest. I'm from Kanak Town, a small town south of Tuvent City. It's… Well, a complete and utter dump. It was voted the worst city in America years ago, and I can pretty much confirm that it's still well deserving of that 'honor'. I, uh, I'm not really…" I looked away from the others and let out a nervous chuckle, having never been comfortable talking about myself, particularly not when put on the spot about it. "As stupid as this probably sounds, being a Pokémon Trainer hasn't really been a long term goal of mine, my first passion has always been baseball, but… Yeah, that's never happening. But Fifi and I have been battling casually since I first found her, and being from a family of trainers, I guess it's just in my blood… Or at least, that's what people tell me. I've never really done any 'trainery' things besides battling, I've hardly ever stepped foot outside of Kanak Town in my life, and I've always been too poor to be able to afford to waste money on Pokéballs or anything like that, so I don't have any other Pokémon besides Fifi. But, I mean, that's perfectly fine by me, since I don't really want any more Pokémon, at least, not right now. Maybe if me and Fifi can become good enough on our own here, I can start thinking about forming an actual team and taking the Pokémon League challenge. But that's all nothing more than a pipe dream right now. I came here because… Well, actually, I didn't know I was coming here until a couple months ago, my Uncle Bob surprised me and told me he landed me a spot here, like he did for my brother Flint a few years ago. I suppose if anything, I'm hoping to be able to improve my ability as a trainer outside of casual battling, but mostly I'm just excited to be able to come to such a prestigious place like this at all, really. Like I said, my family has always been really poor, so… It's kind of surreal. I figure it'll be a fun experience, in any case."

"Pfeh, you don't even have any real reason for being here at all, then." said Assy. "I can't believe someone as pathetic as you got into this place in such a flukey way when it took me scrounging up money my whole life to get here. But no matter. This ain't no place for casual fun, loser. Fun is for weak-willed wimps like you, _real_ trainers battle for glory, not for fun. I don't think you realized, but this is an academy for serious trainers only. If you expect to get anywhere around here, you need to treat battling with respect, not like it's just some sort of game."

"Come now, Mr. Banstead." Professor Redwood said, once Assy was done with his spiel. "While I will admit that LeMasters is a place where battling, as well as every other type of activity honed here, is held to a high standard, that is not to say that we are an institution bereft of fun. It's all well and good to battle with ferocity and vigor, but one must not push themselves nor their Pokémon too hard. Remember, battling is not a profession, it is an activity of leisure."

"Man, I didn't even understand half of what you just said." Assy grumbled, scratching his head. "Why do you have to use such big ass words for?"

"No reason…" the professor said, letting out a sigh. "My apologies, I tend to forget just how lacking your education system has become over here. But regardless, try not to take what Mr. Banstead says to heart, Mr. Hardacre. Your reasons for coming here and aspirations are just as valid as anyone else's, as are Mr. Banstead's. At its core, LeMasters was established to further the young trainer along their path to excellency and self-discovery, but it has never established what that path 'should' look like, as there is no set, singular path. Because just as no two Pokémon are alike, neither are trainers."

"Yeah, that's uh, real fascinatin' there, prof." Assy stated, not taking particular care to have his bored tone of voice match his words. "We're all a bunch of special little snowflakes, got it. More to the point, are we almost to the damn Pokécenter yet?"

"In due time, Mr. Banstead." the professor responded tersely. "We still have one more introduction to do, and plenty of time to do it in." Turning towards Mew Boy, the professor hesitated for a brief moment, studying him, before continuing. "I must say, embarrassing as it is to admit, I don't believe I recognize your face from any of our incoming student records, and I certainly have no recollection of coming across any mention of a student with a Mew enrolling since I've been in power. Care to give us your name at least, lad?"

"U-Um…" Mew Boy seemed to shrink even further into himself as all eyes turned to him, sans his Mew, who was still floating along as carefree as ever.

"It's alright boy, we won't bite." the professor said with a gentle laugh. "We're all friends here, aren't we?"

"Pfft, whatever you say, prof…" Assy exclaimed, rolling his eyes heavily. Groaning, I shook my head at his idiocy and smiled at Mew Boy.

"Yeah, don't mind this fartknocker, pal. Far be it for either of us to judge you, even though he obviously will. But again, he's a fartknocker, so who cares what he thinks?"

After some more mumbled profanities from Assy, Mew Boy glanced over at his Mew, who merely cocked its head, and after a moment, he finally eked out something that could pass as a smile and nodded.

"A-Alright… My name is… Cobalt Cerule… Most people just call me Coby. I'm from… Kanto. I, uh, I grew up on Cinnabar Island before it… Well, y-you all know what happened there. I mean, I'm not actually _from_ Kanto, but my parents both moved there when I was a baby, so that's just… Where I call home. That's um, where I met Mew, and we've been f-friends ever since."

"…Okay then." the professor said after a moment, nodding and speaking up once he realized Coby wasn't going to say anything else on his own accord. "I presume you must be a walk-in enrollment, then?"

"H-Huh?" Coby stuttered, before hastily shaking his head. "Oh, n-no, my… My p-parents enrolled me l-last month…"

"Hmm… How very odd." the professor spoke, putting his hand to his chin inquisitively. "I suppose I must have just overlooked it in that case… Oh well, if you were enrolled that long ago, you must already be in our systems. I'll just have to look back through the files later on… But that's neither here nor there, please ignore my ramblings, I'm afraid I have a bit of an obsessive compulsive condition when it comes to my files and such. Since I don't have the information stored in my mind yet, why don't you tell us what you're here for, Mr. Cerule? I'd have to imagine you're a trainer like these two fellows, correct?"

"I, um, I g-guess so, professor…" Coby replied, not sounding very thrilled with his answer. "I mean, coming here was more my parents' idea than anything, I'm just… Doing what they want me to do. I… Actually don't really like battling all that much, so I wanted to see if I could maybe, um, find something else that was less… Violent… B-But my parents want me to learn how to defend myself, so… Trainer, y-yeah…"

"Man, are you kidding me?" Assy exclaimed in annoyance. Or in other words, his normal tone of voice. "You got that beast of an overpowered mythical legendary, and you don't even _want_ to use it in battle?"

"I-I just…" Coby trailed off as he stared over at his Mew. "…I just don't want Mew to hur-er, t-to get hurt, is all…"

"Yeah, I don't think you really have to worry much about that, bro…" I murmured, shaking my head at the thought of anything being able to even touch that thing after the way it so effortlessly dropped Assy's Salamence.

"H-H-Haha, you really think so…?" Coby responded, forcing a rather awkward, half-hearted laugh. "No… She's not that's strong… That was just a… Critical hit earlier, that's all. She uh, actually doesn't have that much battle experience, to be honest… Neither of us do. So hopefully we can, um, at least get strong enough on our own that my parents won't have to worry about me so much…"

"Critical hit my ass…" Assy spat. "But pfeh, whatever. We'll be ready for you next time, and you ain't gonna be so lucky then."

"Boy, I can't wait to see _that_." I said with a grin. "An entire team of dragons, one-shot and swept by a tiny pink cat… Phwahahaha!"

"Zip it, dork." snapped Assy, shooting me another glare of ill-intent. "You ain't gonna last a week here with nothing but that pathetic excuse for a Pokémon by your side. I'd think about switching to coordinating if I were you, 'cause trust me, your precious little waifu there's going to be making a lot of trips out to this freakin' Pokécenter in a lot worse shape than that if you keep pretending to be a trainer."

Assy's words hit me for a moment, but I quickly glowered back at him and let out a laugh, not wanting him or Fifi to realize that. "Yeah, thanks for the, uh, 'advice' there, Assy, but I don't think I'm going to hold the words of someone who uses the word 'waifu' in an actual spoken sentence in very high regard."

Assy let out a growl. "My name ain't 'Assy', you friggin' dillweed! Stop calling me that, unless you want me to get _really_ pissed off!"

I flapped my lips and waved him off, but the professor quickly stepped back in before I could escalate things any further.

"Alright, things have gotten off track again." he stated, clearing his throat loudly to ensure that neither me nor Assy would continue. "Now then, as we are very near our destination now, I would like to believe that this little bonding exercise has done at least a small bit of help in fostering new friendships between the lot of you. If nothing else, please wait until we actually get to the Pokécenter before you two attempt to throttle one another, so that medical assistance can be provided to the throtlee. Only joking, of course, fist fights are strictly prohibited here, so surely you two can contain yourselves until you can meet in a proper arena to settle your differences. _Please_."

"…Ha, fine by me." Assy said, once he had finished giving me the hairy eyeball. "Believe me, I'll be looking forward to that day more than anything else."

"Likewise, now that I know your Pokémon don't listen to you at all, I'll be able to strategize around that and make you look like an even bigger fool in front of an even bigger audience." I said back, returning his smug grin with one of my own.

"Yes, well, let us put all our differences to the side for now, shall we?" the professor said, practically pleading.

Soon after, he had stopped, as we had arrived at our destination. The large, cavernous lobby room that we were in, along with having multiple hallways and staircases on each side, also led into what appeared to be a full-sized Pokécenter, seemingly identical to pretty much every other Pokécenter that I had ever been to in person. We all followed him in, and after he spent a moment speaking with the nurse on duty at the front desk explaining our situation, he handed me my belongings, then bowed to the group of us.

"Well, it's been a pleasure meeting all of you, and as much as I'd like to get to know you all better, I'm afraid I have business to attend to." he stated, smiling at each of us warmly. "I do hope the next time we meet face-to-face, however, it will be under less… Trying circumstances, hmm?" Coby and I nodded and smiled back, Assy merely shrugged. "Well, actually, I'll be seeing each of you again soon enough, as I have the absolutely delightful job of processing all of your, as well as every single other student here's enrollment papers, so I'm sure you'll all be looking forward to that. And, Mr. Cerule, Mr. Hardacre, if at all possible, I would like to have the chance to speak with each of you at a bit more length about your Pokémon, if that would be alright with the both of you. Nothing bad, of course, it's just I've never had the chance to interact with such rare Pokémon before, and I want to selfishly use my position of power to study them while I have the chance to. Again, only if that is acceptable with you gentlemen."

I shot a sideways glance at Fifi, who tentatively shrugged after a moment's contemplation. Coby did similarly with Mew, and we both nodded in unison to the professor.

"Ah, excellent, wonderful." he exclaimed, clasping his hands together. "That's for later on, though. For now, I've already spoken to the nurse, and they are getting things ready for all of your Pokémon as we speak. Please, feel free to stay here and rest up along with them if you'd like, our assembly doesn't start for another hour or so, and if you have any questions about directions or anything of the sort, please feel free to ask any of our fine faculty members for assistance, and they will be most happy to help you. But with this, I'm afraid I must bid you gentlemen adieu. I look forward to seeing you all progress into fine young trainers. But until then, farewell!"

Bowing once again, Professor Redwood said his goodbyes to the nurse, then quickly hurried back out into the massive lobby, leaving us alone.

"Whenever you kids are ready, we can take your Pokémon to heal them up." the nurse called out to us, smiling invitingly as we made our way to her desk. By this point, a small crowd of students had begun to congregate around us as they caught sight of Coby's Mew, but the nurses and their Pokémon quickly shooed them all away back to their own business.

"Alright, well, now that that weirdo's gone, I don't have to hang out with you losers anymore, thank God." Assy sneered, as he roughly pushed his two defeated Pokémon's Pokéballs towards the nurse. "I'll be back to pick those two up later, I got things to do and places to be in the meanwhile. Next time I see either of you two no-hopers, I'll be kicking _both_ your asses! Ahahahahahahahaha…"

Assy trailed off, laughing all the way out of the Pokécenter.

"Oh my…" the nurse exclaimed, shaking her head in disapproval as she carefully handed Assy's Pokéballs to a nearby Audino. "That's… Not a very caring attitude…"

"I shook my head. "Not a very caring person in general, ma'am. Oh, but anyways…" Turning around, I let Fifi hop off my back to sit on the counter, and I silently made a note to myself to never do that again, for the sake of my back. Turning back towards her, she predictably whined and gave me a pleading 'don't leave me' look, but I shook my head at her and smiled reassuringly. "Come on, Feef, you've been to a Pokécenter before. You can stand to be away from me for thirty minutes, at least."

Letting our a deep, heavy sigh, she nodded back and lowered her head. "If I must…"

Once the nurse's surprise towards the obvious went away, she smiled at Fifi in understanding as she helped her onto a cart, another Audino pushing it to the back, Fifi of course staring at me the whole time until she disappeared through the doors to the treatment center.

"Sorry." I stated to the nurse. "She's… Overly attached to me. She won't cause you any trouble, though."

"Oh, no need to apologize." the nurse responded, giggling. "I think it's cute."

"I don't know if I'd call it that as much as just plain annoying…" I said dryly, as Coby stepped up to the desk.

"Okay, Mew, I know you're not really hurt, but why don't you let the nurses take care of you, just to be on the safe side?" he said, sounding much more like a normal person now that Assy was gone. Mew let out another airy giggle, before floating obediently over to the other side of the desk, following a Chansey into the same room Fifi was taken into.

"My, I've never seen one of those before…" the nurse marveled, before quickly turning back towards us and bowing. "But regardless, your Pokémon will both be feeling better in a jiffy!"

"Thanks, ma'am." I said, nodding along with Coby as we both returned the nurse's smile and went over to one of the waiting areas. Rolling my suitcase over to an unoccupied table seat, I wasted no time in sitting down to rest my aching back, motioning for Coby to sit down across from me once I noticed him standing there timidly, too afraid to ask himself.

"…Man, what a crazy way to start the school year." I said, laughing as I tried to make Coby feel a bit more at ease.

"Yeah, I'll say…" he replied, letting out a small chuckle of his own. "…I'm sorry again for getting you guys caught up in my mess…"

I shook my head. "Hey, no need to apologize, dude, me and Fifi got involved on our own accord. Like she said, neither of us really take kindly to jerks like Assy, so he's the only one who needs to be apologizing. But shoot, hopefully neither of us will ever have to see or hear _or_ smell his dumb ass ever again. What a freaking joke."

Coby nodded in agreement, but his dour expression persisted. "…Yeah, but still… That kind of thing is the reason my parents sent me here in the first place… That's been happening my whole life since I met Mew, everyone's always wanting me to trade her to them, or have her battle them, and, well… It's one thing when it's just one or two people, but when it's a whole crowd like that, it… Gets a bit overwhelming for me… Plus I've never really been able to deal with people like… _Him_ in the first place… But um, I just wanted to say, thank you very much for stepping in there and helping us, both you and Fifi. No one's ever really done that before, so I… Didn't know how to react. But I'm happy to know Fifi didn't get badly hurt."

"No biggie, man. We're always happy to help. I really should be the one thanking you, but you probably won't accept it either, so let's just call it even." I said, shrugging and grinning. "Man, that's messed up though, I can't imagine having to deal with crap like that on a daily basis, and believe me, I deal with plenty of unwanted attention as it is with Fifi. I'll bet it's ten times worse with a Pokémon as rare as a Mew."

"Yeah, usually she just stays transformed as something innocuous like a Sentret or Lillipup, but my parents insisted on her staying in her true form while we're here, for whatever reason…" he explained, letting out a sigh. "I guess since everyone would inevitably find out she was a Mew anyways once she started using moves like Ice Beam and the like… Just something I have to get used to, I guess…"

"Tell me about it." I said. "I've been saying that to myself since Fifi first started talking, eventually, you just stop caring and don't bother hiding it anymore. Not like Fifi really likes talking in front of strangers anyways, but eh, it's more the principal of it than anything else."

"I'll admit, I was pretty shocked myself when I heard her start talking." Coby exclaimed. "But she did sound just like a person… And you say she learned that all on her own?"

"Well, mostly." I said, scratching my neck. "I helped her along once she started, wasting my allowance money on books and whatnot for her, but I didn't really teach her anything, so yeah, she did the majority of it all on her own."

"Gosh, that's… That's really cool." Coby said in admiration. "I mean, I can 'talk' to Mew using her telepathy, but even she doesn't know how to speak English. Fifi must really adore you if she did something so difficult just for you."

"Ugh, don't say it like that, you sound like her." I muttered, shaking my head in embarrassment. "We ain't any closer than you and Mew are, really. She just likes to make things sound all goopy and stupid to embarrass me is all. Let's just say I… I had a pretty traumatic experience during my childhood, and it kept me from wanting to make any friends for a long, long time. Fifi was an exception to that, of course, but… Well, she had something even worse happen to her, and I was the only one that she had there for her, too. Two miserable peas in a pod, I suppose. She's the only reason I ever got out of that awful state of mind in the first place, though, and I guess if you ask her she'd say the same about me. It's not really something I like to talk about, but… If it weren't for Fifi being there to talk to me, I probably wouldn't be here to talk to anyone else, or ever leave my room, really. I wish my parents would understand that, but… Well, that's not important. You don't care about my personal crap. My bad for rambling on about it."

"No, no, it's fine, really, I understand completely." Coby said instantly, giving me an actual, legitimate smile. "I… I had a pretty bad childhood myself. There are a lot of things I can't or don't want to talk about either, but I've always had Mew for that, just like you've always had Fifi, I presume. I just… I never got out of that shell, like you seem to have been able to. Hopefully though, I can start to fix that while I'm here…"

"Yeah, hey, you seem like a cool dude, so I'll always be happy to talk with you, if you ever want to." I stated. "I mean, I know what's it's like to be afraid to talk to people, and I have to deal with that with Fifi every day, so don't ever worry about striking up a conversation with me if you want to, alright?"

"…Thanks, Stone." Coby replied, nodding happily back to me. "Yeah, I'd… I'd like that. And I know Mew would too, she's always trying to get me to talk to people more…"

I let out a short laugh. "Sounds like my mom and dad. But yeah, lemme give you my number, anytime you wanna talk, just hit me up, even if it's just to talk about your super cool Rattata or whatever. I don't know anyone here besides Fifi, so it'll be nice to have someone else to talk to besides her. Especially since, with my luck, I'm going to get stuck with total lunatics for roommates…"

"W-Wait, we don't get to pick our own roommates?" Coby asked, his frown returning.

I shook my head gloomily. "Nope. At least, according to my brother, we don't. He said it's all randomly selected, other than gender. So I'd imagine I'm probably going to get stuck with a bunch of-"

" _ **WHOA! YEAH! KICKSTART MY-**_ "

"Gah, whoops, s-sorry…" I exclaimed to no one in particular, hastily scrambling to silence my obnoxiously loud ringtone as everyone in the room turned to stare momentarily. Coby nodded in acknowledgement as I excused myself temporarily to answer Uncle Bob's call. "H-Hey, what's up, Unc?"

"Ah, nothin' much." came his gravelly voice from the other end, followed by an annoyed grunt. "Sorry 'bout taking so long to call, it took me friggin' _FOREVER_ to find a damn parking spot… Woohoohoo, though, did you get a load of this entry lobby? Man, some brats went and tore this place up _already_! There's a bunch of kids going on about some dude with a talkin' Mew or somethin' ridiculous like that, sayin' it obliterated some poor putz's Salamence and half of the school's entryway along with it!"

I cringed as I heard him let out a raucous laugh. "Ahahahaha… Y-Yeah, about that…"

"Heh?" Uncle Bob snorted at my unexpected reply. "…Oh, no, don't tell me _you_ were involved in this, kid?!"

"N-No!" I cried, taking a moment to regain my composure before continuing as Uncle Bob let loose with another laugh at my reaction. "I-I mean, kinda, b-but… I-It wasn't my fault! Er... Well… I-It's a long story, okay? Just… I'm at the school's on-site Pokécenter right now, I had to bring Fifi in because… Gah, I'll just… I'll explain once you get here, alright? I'm not in trouble though! I mean… I don't _think_ I'm in trouble… Ehehehe… Heh… Hngh…"

"Bwahaha, oh geez, kid… Yeah, you definitely have that easily riled up Surge blood in you, alright… But ha, no worries, Stone. Just sit tight, and I'll meet up with you in a flash."

Hanging up, I slipped my phone back into my pocket and exhaled heavily, sinking back down into my seat.

"E-Everything okay…?" Coby asked hesitantly once he saw how deflated I looked.

I shook my head, before smooshing it between my hands and the table. "Yeah, I guess… I just have… A lot of explaining to do."

…And also a lot of hoping and praying that this wouldn't get back to mom and dad…

* * *

Yeeeeeah, you can probably tell by how much the cussing went away what parts I had written before and after the Cubs won. Too lazy and tired to change them to less harsh words, apologies if the overabundance of fucks and shits this chapter was a bit much for you. Also apologies for how dreadfully boring the fight scene probably was, I'm not particularly experienced in writing those, either, but hopefully this story will help me improve on those, as well. Regardless, uh, I'll try to get the next chapter up within the month at least, but no promises. It's time for me to shut up for now, though. Hope you all have a wonderful day/night!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Okay, so, it's not _quite_ 'within the month', but hey, this is probably the fastest I've ever updated one of my stories!

Don't get used to it.

…

…Alright, I know that's not what you guys want to hear. I've come to realize that the main reason I don't get consistent reviews and whatever is likely down to my horrid update schedules, so I suppose I will _**tentatively**_ attempt to keep an update schedule of at least one chapter every two weeks or so. Don't be surprised if I break it, but hell, if I don't give myself some kind of deadline, then of course I'm never going to finish anything I start. I just ask that you please bear with me, I hate working on time limits, but… Damn it, I want to finish my stories. Maybe if I can get a chapter up every two weeks, I can get a better groove going and get it to a chapter per week even. But, that's all but a pipedream right now.

In closing, I would like to again thank those of you who have favorited, followed, and especially reviewed this dumb story so far. I hope you all will continue to enjoy it. And if not, well, as usual, feel free to tell me I'm the worst fucking piece of shit on the planet and that I should go and choke on my own bile while people laugh and throw rocks at me, or something similar.

But yeah, in short, thanks for the reviews and all that, peeps, youdabess. I'll shut up now.

* * *

"Yeesh, I can't leave you alone for a minute, can I, kid? Gahahahahahaha!"

I let out a grumble at my uncle, which was instantly drowned out by his almost painfully loud laughter, all at my expense, of course. It had taken him a remarkably quicker time to reach the Pokécenter than it took our little expedition party, but that time was made up for with how long it took for me to try and explain what exactly had happened in a semi-cohesive way. Luckily, Coby was willing to vouch as a character witness on my behalf (after a bit of persuasion once he had stopped shaking in fear at my uncle's presence), but I got the feeling uncle Bob was just curious as to know what the hell went on more than anything. He knew I wouldn't lie about something so serious… Hopefully.

"Ey, but all kidding aside, good on you and Fifi for stepping up like that. I'm proud of ya, kiddo." he soon addended once he finally noticed my look of discontentment, clapping me on the back with enough force to send me stumbling forward. "Whoops, my bad, hehe. But no need to freak out, I got your back, Stone. I ain't gonna rat you out to your folks."

I exhaled a sigh of relief, and bowed gratefully to my uncle. "Whew, thanks, unc. The last thing I need right now is to give them something else to breathe down my neck about…"

"Heh?" Uncle Bob grunted quizzically. "…Oh, right. I'm guessin' you're referring to that crap they were going on to me about regarding you and Fifi?"

"Oh, geez… They told you about that?" I groaned, shaking my head into my palm in embarrassment. I figured that's what they had taken him aside to tell him before we left, but ugh… It was awkward enough with my siblings, this was definitely not something I wanted to be discussing with uncle Bob of all people. "L-Look, it's not… It's not like they're making it out to be, unc. Me and Fifi aren't… E-Everything is perfectly fine between us. Mom and dad… They're just… Overreacting like crazy."

"Ah, so that _is_ what was buggin' you all the way here, wasn't it?" he asked, to which I hung my head and groaned in begrudging acknowledgement. "I didn't want to say anything with Fifi around to hear it, but seeing as how she ain't here right now, do you wanna talk about it real quick? Don't worry, I ain't gonna flip out and judge you or anything."

I glanced around, craning my neck around the bend to make absolutely certain Fifi wasn't there to accidentally overhear anything. Sighing, I began to speak in hushed tones to my uncle. "Man… I don't even know what to say… I dunno what exactly they told you, but they're convinced that Fifi is starting to act 'too human', and that I need to make her realize that's she's nothing more than my Pokémon… But that's bullshit, because she's not. They think she's going to ruin any chance I might have at a 'normal' life, but they don't seem to give two shits about how any of this will affect her or her life. I know, they're right when they say she's overly attached to me, but… Well, she doesn't have anyone else besides me, uncle Bob. I can always make new friends and shit, but Fifi… She doesn't really have that same liberty. I just… I want her to be happy. She's my best friend in the whole world. I don't know why mom and dad don't understand how important she is to me, they've been around her for just as long as I have, I thought they liked her. I can't… I can't believe that they think I could or would ever do something so awful to her as tell her to stop being herself. They didn't even want me to bring her along at all, and they expect her to be acting more like a Pokémon by the time we get back, or else… God, I don't know, but I know it's going to be awful…" I looked back up at my uncle and shook my head dourly. "I… I can't do that, unc. I don't know what to do, but… I know for sure that I won't do that."

"Well, if that's what you think is right, then you stick to your guns, Stone." Uncle Bob replied. "It's like I was telling you in the car. I can't claim to know the kind of personal hells that you and Fifi both went through, but I went through plenty of my own with Raichu, and I know the kind of connection that creates. Your parents never formed that kind of a relationship with their Pokémon, I don't think. Your mom always treated hers like they were pets or children, even when they became overpowered terror beasts, and while I can't claim to know how your dad treated his, I'm pretty sure he never had a Fifi. Sure, they may love and respect them, but they're not humans, so they're just never going to give them the same kind of attention as you or your siblings. As smart as Fifi is, I don't think they're ever gonna see past her exterior, sad to say. But even so, that doesn't give them any right to tell you how to care for _your_ Pokémon. If you wanna treat her as an equal, then that's your decision to make, not theirs. And frankly, seeing just how sentient and self-aware she is when it comes to acting human, it really don't seem right to me on a personal level for them to decide on such a thing for her in the first place. This is the land of the free, after all, she's perfectly capable of making her own decisions and should be able to do so, and you seem to get that, so as far as I'm concerned, you're not doing anything wrong, Stone."

I stared back at uncle Bob for a moment, before returning his smile. "Man… Thanks, uncle Bob, you're the best… I mean… I still don't know what I'm going to do, but it's good to know the rest of my family has my back on this, at least… I just wish mom and dad were as understanding as you guys all are."

"Well, there _was_ one other thing they stressed to me…" Uncle Bob spoke back up after a moment, though hesitantly. "I think it may be the _real_ reason they're freakin' out so much, but… I dunno if it's something you'd be comfortable talking about in public."

"Ugh, I'm not doing anything weird with her, I swear." I said flatly, knowing instantly what he was referring to. "I only let her sleep with me still because she insists on it. It's no different than it was when she was just a Fennekin, I don't care what mom and dad say."

"I don't think it's you they're concerned about so much as Fifi, Stone." Uncle Bob said with a short laugh, before lowering his voice. "I mean, she does kinda give you the bedroom eyes all the time… But well, I don't think that's any of their business, either. What you two do in your private time is your business and not anyone else's."

"W-We're not doing anything in our private time, though!" I blurted a bit too loudly, as it drew curious looks from Coby and a few other trainers in the immediate vicinity. That seemed to have been uncle Bob's plan though, as he began to let out another raucous bout of laughter.

"Gahahaha, oh man, Stone, you're way too easy to mess with." Uncle Bob remarked. "Really, though. You guys should be fine. Don't stress out so much about what your mom and dad want you to do, you know as well as I do how much they freak out over the littlest things when it comes to you and your siblings. Plus, you know you're in the right, so just focus on being a good student while you're here, and have some damn fun! And if push really does come to shove, then I have the utmost confidence that you'll know what you need to do to straighten things back out again. You're a Surge, after all! Besides, your parents still love you more than anything in the end, and I'm sure they love Fifi, too. I doubt they'd do anything drastic, they just want what they think is best for you, and are just being a bit too over-aggressive about it to try and get you to listen to them, that's all. They'll probably come around once you show them how ridiculous and misguided their fears are."

"…If you say so, unc." I replied, not really sharing his confidence regarding my parents. As much as I loved them, I knew better than anyone just how hard it was to shake an idea from either of their heads once they were set on it, and if _both_ of them got set on the same idea? Yeah, that was a pointless, losing battle to wage for sure. A pointless, losing battle that I was going to be stuck waging regardless. Ugh…

"Hey now, none of that mopey shit, kid!" Uncle Bob barked, seamlessly sliding into his Gym Leader persona and causing me to straighten up and snap to attention in an instant.

"Alright, alright, I hear you, unc." I said, nodding in compliance.

"Good!" he replied. "Well, now that we've gotten that mess sorted out, I suppose I should go and deal with your admission papers with that professor friend of yours."

"I, uh, don't think I would quite call him my friend…" I said, letting out an awkward chuckle. "But uh, either way, I guess I'll just catch up with you once they're done healing Fifi."

"Nah, you don't need to worry about this part, it's borin' as hell." Uncle Bob said dismissively. "You and Fifi go ahead and do your own thing, I'll text you once the paperwork's done so we can meet back up and say our goodbyes before I go. Sound good?"

I shrugged and nodded. "Uh, yeah, that's fine by me, if you're sure, unc."

"Alright then. I'll see you in a little while, kid." Uncle Bob said, grinning and saluting me as he made his exit. "Promise me you'll try and stay out of any more trouble for the rest of the evening, at least!"

I rolled my eyes at my uncle as I waved him goodbye, then made my way back over to Coby, who, other than backing up my story, had seemed far too intimidated by uncle Bob to do pretty much anything else in his presence.

"H-Holy cow, Stone, I can't believe your uncle is Lieutenant Surge…" he spoke with a mixture of awe and fear. "I couldn't imagine having someone as scary as him related to me…"

"Aw, he ain't scary." I said with a laugh. "Well, not to me, anyways. I guess he did mention something about him having a pretty fearsome reputation over in Kanto, but that's not the real him, I assure you. He's a friggin' goofball. A really manly, badass goofball, but a goofball nonetheless. He's also the only reason me and Fifi are here in the first place, so yeah, he's pretty much the best."

"Wow… Th-That must be pretty cool, then." Coby acknowledged. "My family's not very… Er, n-nevermind…"

I shot Coby a curious glance, before shrugging his aborted thought off. Glancing down at my phone, I realized I should probably try calling my parents to let them know we had arrived safely, but noticed the time soon after. Fifi would likely be rushing out to reattach herself to my hip at any moment, and I didn't particularly want her hearing our conversation in case it happened to veer into uncomfortable territory again. Compromising, I decided to send them a text, telling them everything was okay and that I would call them later once I was settled in. Almost as soon as I had slipped my phone back into my pocket, I heard the receptionist call back out to me and Coby, and we made our way back over to her counter, where Fifi and Mew were both perched, looking as good as new. Fifi immediately hopped down at the sight of me, hurrying over to greet me with an overjoyed smile, while Mew did much the same with Coby, wasting little time in resuming her role as his hat and scarf.

"Feelin' better, Fi?" I asked, Fifi nodding enthusiastically in response.

"Yep, now that I'm by your side again."

"How did I know you were going to say that?" I said, smirking before turning back to the nurse and nodding. "Thanks again, ma'am."

"Oh! Yes, thank you very much, ma'am, all of you!" Fifi added, bowing deeply in gratitude at the nursing staff.

"My, you're very welcome!" the nurse replied, all too happy to return Fifi's smile. "What a polite little darling you are! And I can see where you got your manners from, too."

"Hehe!" Fifi chuckled, nodding back to the nurse before grinning back up at me. "Yeah! My master is the best! He's-"

"Okay, no more of those blatant lies now, Fifi. That's not good manners at all." I quickly interjected, ruffling Fifi's hair to both annoy and shush her as I nodded bye to the nurse. Turning my attention back towards Coby, I waited for him to finish conversing with the nurse himself before speaking. "Well, we still got a little while before that assembly thing or whatever starts. Did you guys wanna stick together until then, or do you wanna split for now?"

"Ah, I'd love to stick together, but I just remembered, I-I've got something I have to take care of first." Coby said regretfully. "I'll, um, I'll try to meet back up with you guys at the assembly, though. It was great meeting both of you, and thank you so much again for your help!"

"Likewise, pal." I said, nodding in acknowledgement. "Are you, uh, sure you'll be alright, though? I'd hate for you to end up running into another Assy out there…"

"Oh, that… That won't be a problem." Coby said, letting out a small chuckle. "My parents may have told me to keep her from transforming while I was here, but they didn't tell me not to have her act like a stuffed animal. And she's really good at that, so… We'll be fine. I appreciate the concern, though."

I looked back at Coby and Mew in bemusement, noticing that Mew _did_ kind of look like a stuffed toy at first glance in the pose she was in. "Alright, well, guess we'll catch you guys on the flipside, then." Watching and waving as Coby and Mew exited the Pokécenter, I soon turned back to Fifi and grinned as she finished fixing her hair. "Well, looks like we're finally back on our own, Feefs. I guess we should probably figure out where that assembly is being held and head that way before all the seats are taken."

"I would say 'lead the way', but with your sense of direction, you'll probably end up leading us onto the roof." Fifi responded, snickering.

I grumbled, though I couldn't really dispute her at all. I was about as effective a navigator as a Zubat in a soundproof room. "Haha, very funny. But that's fine, I'm sure one of these nice nurses can give us directions. Even _I_ am competent enough to follow directions."

* * *

"Stone, I don't wanna say you're not very good at following directions, but… Well, no, that's exactly what I want to say."

"No, I swear, it's not my fault! Those directions she gave us were _TERRIBLE_ , nobody would be able to follow something so confusing!"

"I, uh, don't quite know what's so confusing about 'turn right at the second hallway', but whatever you say, dear master."

" _What_ second hallway? Did you _see_ how many hallways there were branching off from that room? How was I supposed to have figured out what hallway she meant by the second one?!"

"Beats me, but obviously it wasn't the one you chose."

I sighed in endless exasperation as Fifi let out a carefree giggle. I… I don't know how, but somehow, we had managed to veer… Slightly off course. I mean, that's what happens when you try and follow crappy directions, but I digress. Wherever it was that we were at, it certainly was not the assembly hall. As fancy as the school's architecture was, it all looked friggin' identical to me, and I couldn't even figure out which hallway it was we had just come from anymore. There we were, smack dab in the middle of another nondescript, cavernous lobby room, multiple, identical hallways jutting out from every wall, and nothing to notify or clarify what was behind the bevy of doors that lined the walls, either. The fact that there were no signs anywhere in a place like this was just ridiculous. To make matters even worse, there wasn't even anyone else around, the further we had walked, the fewer people and Pokémon we had encountered, which I suppose I should have taken as a sign that we were going… Not exactly in the right direction. But well, hindsight is 20/20.

"Stone, are you monologueing to yourself again?"

I blinked dumbly for a few moments before I realized where I was, quickly shaking my head to dispute Fifi's absurd claim. "Uh, n-no, I'm just… Thinking. Hmm, yes, thinking… Hey, uh, you don't remember which way we came from, do you, Fifi?"

Fifi shook her head. "Nope, I was following you. You said you could follow directions, after all."

"Hngh…"

Feeling both frustrated and antsy, I pulled out my phone to check the time, groaning and getting all the more stressed once I realized we only had about ten minutes left before the assembly was supposed to start. "Well, so much for getting there early…"

"Geez, doesn't your phone have some kind of map or compass or something on it?" Fifi prodded. "Those dumb things are supposed to do everything, aren't they?"

"Well, yeah, but that's assuming that the person operating it is as smart as the phone is." I grumbled, as I began to fumble around with the dumb thing. Technology may be incredible, but living in poverty for so many years meant I was still a few lightyears away from being able to comprehend most of it. "And you know what assuming things does, Fifi."

"I'm pretty sure you've done a thorough enough job of making asses out of the both of us already, Stone." Fifi deadpanned.

"Aw, just shut it, would ya?" I sneered, drawing another snicker from my oh-so-helpful sidekick.

"Sorry, I can't help it when you line them up for me like that." she teased. "You make it so easy sometimes, but you know I only do it 'cause I love you, teeheehee~…"

I simply rolled my eyes in response, not wanting to give her any more ammo. It goes to show just how much my family has corrupted Fifi if that's how she shows her love… But I had no more time to waste on that subject. I hurriedly began to shuffle through my phone's apps, hoping to find some sort of map system that might have the school's layout in it. As I thumbed away, however, the almost complete silence that had been permeating the room was suddenly broken, as both mine and Fifi's attention were drawn to some sort of commotion coming from behind one of the room's many unremarkable doors. Exchanging curious glances with Fifi, I could tell she was thinking the same thing I was, and we slowly crept closer to the door to see if we could make out anything that was being said. As we drew near, we could hear two female voices, neither of them sounding very pleased with the other, in the middle of a heated conversation.

"…don't care what you think! We have not made any errors in our preparations, other than perhaps relying on _you_ to further them along in any capacity!"

"My apologies for any perceived insolence, but that rudeness is simply uncalled for, ma'am. And I assure you, your doubt is misplaced, we will… Hmm? Just a moment…"

Fifi mirrored my look of confusion at the bizarre exchange, but those looks of confusion quickly turned into looks of 'oh shit' as the door swung opened, and a pink haired, secretary looking woman poked her head out, peering down at Fifi and me with alarm. Alarm became annoyance, however, as she began to speak tersely to us.

"My, didn't your parents teach you any manners?" she exclaimed accusatorily. "It's quite impolite to eavesdrop, you know."

My words got caught in my throat momentarily, and all I could manage was to sputter out a short bout of nervous laughter. I hastily straightened back up out of my lurched over listening position, Fifi mimicking me, as we both stood at attention with wide, fake as hell grins on our faces.

"Ah, n-n-no, m-my apologies, ma'am." I stuttered, sweating bullets under the woman's death gaze. "W-We didn't mean t-to eavesdrop, w-we were j-just… I… Th-That is…"

"W-What my master is trying to say is…" Fifi began, clearing her throat and giving me a nod to let me know she had this. A bit of a surprise, but she always did have a much better time of keeping herself from getting tongue-tied than I did. "…We somehow, _someway_ , managed to get ourselves lost, though neither of us have ANY earthly idea how such a thing could have _POSSIBLY_ happened. Having no one else around to ask, when we heard voices coming from this room, we thought we would come over and ask whoever it was if they could help us find out where the school's welcoming ceremony is being held, and not wanting to interrupt, we were listening only to hear when there was a lull in your conversation, so that we might knock and ask at a more… Opportune time, that's all. We're both very sorry that we appeared to be eavesdropping, aren't we, Stone?"

"Uh, y-yeah, exactly." I said, grinning even wider and nodding my head rapidly. "W-We were just lost, that's right. So uh, y-yeah, our bad, but… D-Do you happen to know where we could find the assembly hall, by chance, ma'am…?"

The woman, rather than respond immediately, narrowed her gaze at the two of us. When she finally did respond, her answer was very curt. "No. You should know you're in an area where you shouldn't be, however, and I would suggest you vacate yourself from the vicinity before someone else less forgiving comes along and catches you."

"Ah, b-but we don't-"

My words didn't come quickly enough, as the woman slammed the door in our faces. Turning back to Fifi, I let my shoulders slump and stuffed my hands into my pockets.

"Well, shit. Talk about rude." I grumbled, shooting the door a dirty look in place of the woman. "Guess we shouldn't mill about here any longer, though. That lady was bad enough, I don't wanna run into anyone that she would consider 'less forgiving', yikes…"

Fifi eagerly agreed, and we wasted no time in choosing a hallway at random, praying that it would at least lead somewhere with other people around.

"Yoiks, but what was _that_ all about, anyways?" Fifi asked suspiciously, once we were a sufficient distance away from the Creepy Woman Room. "I thought the professor said the faculty would be happy to help us in any way… But she sure didn't seem very happy to do anything but yell at us."

"Heck if I know, but you heard the lady, we weren't supposed to be there in the first place." I said, shrugging. "They were probably having some kind of faculty meeting or something before school starts, and didn't want to have to deal with no nosy brats or whatever."

"I guess…" Fifi muttered, though she didn't sound particularly convinced. "That sure was a creepy sounding conversation for a faculty meeting, though…"

"Jeez, Feef, relax." I said with a chuckle. "Pretty much anything can sound creepy when taken out of context. And besides, whatever it was, it's none of our business anyways. Don't be so paranoid, that's my job, remember?"

Fifi took a moment before answering, but soon nodded in compliance. "…I'm not so sure about that last part, but alright… Still, let's try to avoid that lady at all costs if we happen to run into her again… I don't like the vibe she gave off…"

"Now that, I'll agree with." I said, nodding whole-heartedly, a shiver running down my spine as I thought back to the look she had given us. "Pfeh, with my luck, I'll probably get stuck with her as one of my teachers…"

"D-Don't say that, Stone…" Fifi said, huddling up closer to me as the same vision seemingly came to her.

"You shouldn't have to worry either way, Fi, you're probably not going to be able to come to my classes with me anyways." I stated, gently pushing her back to where she had been so I could have at least some semblance of personal space.

"Oh… R-Right…" Fifi replied, her mood souring instantly. "Y-You don't think they'll make an exception for me since I can talk, do you?"

"Uh, no, probably not." I said, scratching my head and letting out a sigh as I watched Fifi's ears and shoulders droop. "Come on, Fi, we went over this already. You'll still be able to see me pretty much any time I'm not in class. I doubt they'll mind if you wait outside my classrooms, if you're really that desperate. It was either this, or you staying back home. And something tells me this is much more preferable than that."

"W-Well, yeah, no duh!" Fifi said indignantly at the mere mention of the second option. "But, I just… I don't want to… H-How am I supposed to learn anything if I'm not there with you in class?"

"I doubt they had talking, hyper-intelligent Pokémon in mind when they made the rules, Fi." I responded.

"Which means they have all the reason in the world to make an exception for me!" Fifi exclaimed. "I wanna learn too, y'know!"

I let out another sigh of exasperation. "I know you do, Fi, it's just…" She began to give me one of those pouty, devastated looks that she knew I couldn't handle. Damn, she had that down to an art… "…Look, I'll talk to the professor about it, alright? Just… Don't get your hopes up, okay?"

"Oh, thank you, master~!" Fifi cried, jumping up unexpectedly into my arms to give me a hug. I tried to stop moving so I wouldn't lose my balance, but that didn't really help, and I soon toppled over to the floor with Fifi on top of me. "Wh-Whoops, sorry, ehehe!"

"Ow, damn it, like hell you are…" I muttered, bringing my hand up to the back of my skull to make sure I wasn't leaking any vital fluids from it. Once I was fairly certain my brain was still safely inside my head, I pushed Fifi off of me and sat up, saying a silent prayer that there was no one around to have seen that. Fifi took advantage of this moment and my more reachable position, coming over to squeeze the life out of me yet again.

"Really, Stone! You're the bestest master in the whole wide world~!" she said, rubbing her cheek against mine, knocking my hat back off with her damn earfur in the process.

"Alright, now you're just laying it on thick." I uttered in annoyance, pushing her off of me yet again once she had finished turning me into a static electricity magnet. Picking myself back up and brushing myself off, I tried to maintain some degree of dignity as Fifi continued to give me that damn doe-eyed look of hers. "Yeah, that look don't cut it anymore, princess. Like I said, don't hold your breath, just because I'm going to ask him doesn't mean he's going to say yes."

"I know, but just the fact that you care enough to ask in the first place is enough to make me happy, master~!" Fifi chirped in that same annoyingly cute singsongy tone. Ugh… Why was it so hard for me to stay mad at her…? Damn manipulator…

"Okay, now I _know_ you're doing that stupid 'master' thing on purpose." I said, shaking my head in aggravation as I returned my hat to its proper place. "You've been calling me that more since I brought it up than you have in forever. I thought you cared about me, Fifi."

"I do, Stone! That's why I've been calling you that since we got here, to show everyone else _just_ how much it is I care about you~!"

"Yeah, no, pretty sure you're doing it just to annoy me." I stated, drawing the usual giggle in response as we restarted our hopeless journey to find a room that was probably on the whole other side of the school.

"Well, _maaaaybe_ … But only because you're so cute when you get all flustered, hehe…"

I let out a groan and scowled at her. I couldn't hold it very long in the face of her overbearing cuteness, though, and it quickly morphed into a begrudging grin. "…Alright, whatever makes you happy, Fi. Just, please, try not to sulk too much when he tells me no, alright?"

"Of course, my sweet, eternally pessimistic prince." she replied.

"Hey now, you find me a Teddies fan who _isn't_ an eternal pessimist." I said back, rolling my eyes.

"Oh please, that's easy; you're talking to one right now, silly!" she instantly countered.

I shook my head and laughed. "You don't count, though. You're naïvely _optimistic_ , and you've yet to bear witness to the kind of agonizing heartbreak that comes with being a Teddies fan."

"You mean watching them drop 24 games in a row and counting doesn't count?"

"Nah, that's just agonizing." I said, shaking my head. "True heartbreak, well, they haven't even been good enough to cause that since you've evolved and started watching them, but don't worry, give them time, they will find a way to show you just how miserable it is being a fan of them. I mean, assuming they ever win another game, of course."

"And there you are with that negativity again." Fifi tsked. "I'll bet once they break this losing streak, it's going to really kick them into gear, and they're gonna go on a 24 game _winning_ streak, and they'll ride that momentum all the way to the championship! That one movie said we were s'posed to win this year, didn't it? It's destiny!"

I couldn't help but let out an obnoxious, snorting laugh that would've made Flint proud. "Pfah, as if. That was last year we were supposed to win, except instead of winning the championship, we set the all-time record for most losses in a single season. And judging by how we're playing so far this year, I'm really starting to doubt that they're going to win 24 games _period_."

"Ooh, don't be such a downer, Stone." Fifi said sourly. "Why don't you put your mopey money where your mouth is? I'll bet you anything they're gonna win the championship this year! In fact, if they don't, I'll… I'll never call you master on purpose again, how's that? BUT, if and when they _DO_ win, you have to do whatever I want for a whole day! That's sounds fair, right?"

"Not really, no." I stated. "Not fair to you, that is. _I_ have a better chance of becoming a champion this year than they do, but shoot, I'm not gonna look a gift horse in the mouth, anything that makes you stop calling me by that awful title is a-okay in my book. And hey, this is a bet I can't lose either way. On one hand, you stop calling me master, on the other hand, the Teddies win the championship. I'm perfectly fine with this, regardless of the outcome."

"Teehee... I'll make sure to remind you of that once they win, then."

"Be my guest, I'm sure I already do everything you want in your little fantasy world where this takes place anyways."

After a few more minutes of walking and playful banter, I stopped to try and get my bearings, hoping that I would see something familiar. Looking around, however, I let out a frustrated groan. "Man, we haven't passed a single damn person this whole time! And this room looks just the same as every other friggin' room we've passed so far! What the hell kind of architect would design such a disgustingly similar maze of rooms and hallways like this?! Argh, forget finding seats, we're gonna miss the stupid assembly entirely at this rate!"

"Hey, why don't you ask Flint?" Fifi asked. I immediately rejected this monumentally stupid idea.

"Ha, so he can laugh at me and tell the rest of my family how big of an idiot I am to get so hopelessly lost on my first day here? No thanks!" I exclaimed, earning an eyeroll from Fifi. Undeterred, I looked over at the door nearest us with confidence. "You know what, I actually have a really good feeling about this door right here." Fifi, however, did not seem to share my enthusiasm, folding her arms and giving me a skeptical gaze. "Oh, come on, don't give me that look."

"I don't know, Stone. We're lost enough as it is." she remarked. "That door doesn't look any different than every other door in every other room we've passed so far, and I don't recall going through any doors to get here. _I_ have the feeling that door doesn't lead anywhere we need to go."

"No, not true!" I objected. "This door is metal, every other door we've passed has been wooden! If nothing else, this one probably leads outside somewhere, and surely we can find someone outside that can point us in the right direction!"

"If you say so…"

"I do!" I said confidently, pushing the door open with gusto. The hallway on the other side was particularly cramped and musty compared to the rest of the school, but I soon caught sight of something that made my day.

"Ha! Told you!" I exclaimed, pointing triumphantly to the dim, flickering 'EXIT' sign that was placed above the singular door at the end of the short hallway. Light poured in from under the door's crack, to confirm that I was right.

"Huh. Well, what do you know?" Fifi said, shrugging and smiling at me. "Good intuition, master!"

I nodded, happy to accept Fifi's praise for once. "Finally, it's about time something went right today!"

Pushing the door open, Fifi and I had to momentarily shield our eyes from the blinding sunlight, as we stepped out into its sweet, gloriously shining rays. Breathing in the fresh air, I opened my eyes, hoping to find a nearby teacher as quickly as possible, but was greeted instead by a short, concrete staircase. Still, at the top was beautiful blue sky, and that was reassuring enough for me. As I made my way up the staircase, however, I noticed that curiously, I could still see nothing but sky at the top. Once we had reached the top of the landing, I soon found out the reason for that.

And it was a terrible reason.

"OH MY GOD, ARE YOU FRIGGIN' KIDDING ME?!" I screamed, dropping to my knees and clutching the sides of my head as I peered out over the rooftop's railing in disbelief at the large crowd of students that were gathered about five stories below. "THE FREAKING ROOFTOP?!"

Fifi appeared to be just as shocked as I was, seemingly at a loss for words… Though on closer inspection, it seemed to be because she was trying desperately to hold in her laughter more than anything else.

"Oh, Stone… I… I don't know what to even say at this point… Y-You actually… W-Wow…"

"NO! WE DIDN'T EVEN CLIMB ANY STAIRS UNTIL JUST NOW! HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE?!" I cried, my desperate tone of voice apparently only making it harder for Fifi to contain herself.

"I-I don't know…" Fifi replied as best she could through her clenched teeth, as she held her hands up to her face to try and hide her maniacal grin. "I-It feels like we've been walking for days now, I-I stopped paying attention a while ago and was just following you… Hngk… M-Master… Gnhk… Nhgk… BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, God, I don't even… This is too… AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"D-Damn it, Fifi, this is no laughing matter!" I stressed, my words falling on deaf ears as Fifi was doubled over in laughter with tears in her eyes at this point.

"I-I know! But… Th-The rooftop! St-Stone! How did you even…?! Oh, this really is a new _high_ for you, master! AHAHAHA!"

"Oh, man…" I groaned, rubbing my face into my hand over just how stupid I had to have been to have gotten us into this predicament. Ugh, of all the places I could have led us… I just couldn't even…

"W-Whoa! W-What are you doing up here?"

"E-Eep!" Fifi squealed, stopping her laughter instantly as she scrambled behind me at the sudden sound of the strange voice. Looking up from my self-loathing, I saw that there was a girl standing in front of us, looking down with a mixture of confusion and wariness at me. She was actually pretty cute looking… Bright green eyes and black twintails, with a somewhat petite figure. So of course, her first impression of me was 'Creepy Screaming Manic-Depressive Lunatic With Cackling Nutjob Pokémon'. Ugh…

"Wait, don't tell me… Did you get lost, too?" she asked after a moment, as I continued to leer creepily at her in silence like the shmuck I was.

"H-Huh…?" I asked, doing a double take to make sure I had heard her correctly. "…Yeah, a-actually, we are lost… I was… Uh, kind of sort of looking for where the assembly was being held, but… We uh, somehow ended up here instead. Ahahaha… Ha… Hngh…"

"Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I have the same excuse as you." the girl said, flashing me a friendly smile as she offered me a hand. "And if nothing else, at least we can technically see the assembly from here!" The girl pointed at the large crowd of students below as she helped me up, and straining my eyes, there did seem to be an awful lot of students packed in there. "Well, at least until they head inside to the actual assembly hall…"

I stood and blinked at the girl for a moment, before letting out a laugh, feeling much better about myself. Or at least, not as stupid. "Oh, man, that's… See, Fifi? It's not just me! It's the school's fault!"

"Yeah, whatever, Stone…" Fifi muttered back, all of her humor lost in the presence of the stranger, presumably from having been caught off guard guffawing in such an unladylike manner, knowing her.

"Omigosh!" the girl exclaimed, clapping her hands to her mouth and jumping up in shock at the sound of Fifi's voice. "Did your Braixen just…?!"

"Oh, yeah, Fifi can talk." I stated casually. Glancing around at her, I let out a small sigh at just how nervous she still was. I couldn't understand how she could talk perfectly fine to that weirdo lady earlier, and to the professor and the others while I was her literal steed, but was so skittish around someone who looked less threatening than either of us, peering around my leg and grasping my hand like she was staring at the boogeyman. But, well, I had stopped trying to figure out her quirks long ago, for the most part. I gave her hand a quick, reassuring squeeze before returning my attention to the girl. "Don't expect her to say much around you, though, she's really wary around strangers."

"Aw, poor thing." the girl said, giving Fifi a sympathetic gaze, before quickly looking back at me with excitement. "Wow, though! That's really cool! How long did it take you to teach her?"

"Uh, not that long." I stated, rubbing my neck. "She pretty much learned on her own, to be honest."

"Wow, really?" the girl exclaimed. "That's soooooo cool!"

"Eh, more of a pain than anything, really." I teased, Fifi letting out an indignant "Hey!" as she put her hands on her hips and glowered at me. "Only kidding, Feefs. See, you're just as cute when you get all worked up, too."

"Ah, n-no, that's not…" Fifi stammered, her cheeks flushing as she buried herself back into my side.

"Aw, she's _adorable_!" the girl clamored, which only seemed to embarrass Fifi further, much to my delight. "Aw, it's okay, you don't have to be embarrassed!"

"No no, let her be, she does this to me all the time, it's nice to see her stumbling over herself for once." I said, grinning down at my darling Fifi, who let out a positively precious pout at me for subjecting her to this. "Ohoho, yes, that's great! I just _love_ it when you pout, Fi."

"…J-Jerk…" Fifi whimpered, hiding her face behind my back so that neither myself nor the girl could see it anymore. I couldn't resist one last crack, however.

"Aw, you know I only do it because I love you, Fi."

Fifi returned my love and affection by jabbing a claw into my asscheek.

"Ow, alright, alright, I'll stop…" I grumbled, rubbing my sore spot before realizing I was still in the presence of another person. "Ah, sh-shoot, s-sorry about that…"

The girl shook her head and let out an airy giggle that was almost as pleasant as Fifi's. "No need to apologize. I've never seen a person and their Pokémon act the way you two do, I think it's absolutely charming. But I guess that's what happens when your Pokémon can talk, huh? Man, you're so lucky!"

"Not really." I said. "I'm more pathetically unlucky than anything, Fifi's just the exception to that rule. I mean, if I were really lucky, I wouldn't have led us onto a rooftop, I don't think…"

"Hey, don't feel bad." the girl insisted. "I did the same thing, remember? Of course, I've always had problems with directions, ever since I was a little kid… Ehehehe…"

"Heehee, so has Stone." Fifi chimed in, suddenly much more forthcoming. "He won't ever admit to it to anyone besides me, though."

"Oh, feel like talking now, eh?" I said, giving Fifi the hairy eyeball and sticking my tongue out at her, a gesture she was all too happy to return. Turning back to the girl, I rolled my eyes and smirked. "Don't pay any attention to Fifi. Like I said, she takes any opportunity possible to embarrass me."

"Only because I care about you, _master_ ~." Fifi was quick to add.

"Yeah, whatever." I muttered, folding my arms. Looking back at the girl, I noticed she had adopted an odd expression, and I immediately began to feel self-conscious about screwing around so much with Fifi around her. "Er, crap, sorry… R-Really, don't mind us… We're just playing around. We're around each other all the time, so we know how the other responds, but I usually forget how weird we probably come off as around other people…"

"N-No, you're fine, it's not that at all…" the girl replied, shaking her head, the mystified expression remaining on her face. "It's just… Did I hear her call you 'Stone' just then?"

"Huh?" I asked, before another wave of humiliation quickly rolled over me. "Ah, y-yeah, my uh, my dad's side of the family has this idiotic tradition of naming everyone after some sort of rock. It's obnoxious, but I mean, I guess I don't have it as bad as some of my cousins. One of them is named Igneous. _**Igneous**_. Though, on the flipside, I have another cousin whose name is Dolomite, though he hardly lives up to such a lofty title… Wait, shit, I'm rambling again, aren't I? M-My bad, ehe…"

"…Oh my God. N-No way…" the girl replied, her eyes growing wide with shock. Not exactly the sort of reaction I had been expecting… "You… You're not Stone Hardacre, are you? From Kanak Town?"

I… Blinked. Then I blinked some more. I…

…Wait, **_what_**?

…I opened my mouth to respond, but no words came out. I looked down at my clothes, to make sure I didn't have my name on me anywhere, then turned to Fifi, who shrugged her shoulders, looking just as baffled as I was. Looking back to the girl, she now had a look of joy on her face, which only served to confuse me even more.

"I… Wha… H-How the hell do you know who I am…? It's one thing for the professor to have known since he's the headmaster and all, but… W-Wait, are you like, his daughter, or something?"

"What? No!" the girl responded, quickly shaking her head in confusion as to what I was even talking about. After another moment of silence from me as I shook my head and shrugged, she let out a small sigh, before lowering her gaze and putting on a bittersweet smile. "Right, I guess you wouldn't recognize me after all these years… Everything about me probably looks completely different by now, thanks to my parents'… Insistence. God, are they ever going to be mad once they find out about this…"

"What…? Your… Parents?" I repeated, not any closer to figuring out who this girl was than before. "What in the world are you…"

"Still, it is kind of disheartening to know you don't recognize me at all…" the girl said, letting out another sigh before laughing sadly. "Pretty bad when you can't recognize your best friend, but I guess that's their fault, too. So caring, my mom and dad…"

"…Best friend?!" Fifi and I blurted in unintentional unison.

"W-What are you…" Fifi stuttered, giving the girl a strange, accusatory look. "I've never seen you before in my life… And Stone would have told me about any 'best friends' that he had before he met me… R-Right, Stone…?"

"U-Uh…"

I was starting to sweat from the look Fifi was giving me. But then, the look the girl was giving me was hardly any better. F-Fuck, what was I supposed to…

"…Oh…" the girl spoke softly, looking down at her feet after my continued silence. "…I guess you really did forget about me, then… Sorry, f-forget I said anything…"

"W-Wait!" I stuttered, drawing both the girl's and Fifi's attention back to me. Looking from one to the other, I could feel my face begin to burn, but I had no way to hide it. Instead, I just turned to the girl and beared with it. "…Augh, alright, this is nuts. Do you really mean to tell me that you're… Clary? Clary Loice?"

The girl… No, Clary's eyes lit up almost instantly. "S-Stone! You do remember me! Oh my God, I just… I can't believe this! I never, ever thought I would get to see you again!"

Before I could even react, Clary had reached across and brought me into a bonecrunching hug. My whole body had gone numb… How the hell was I supposed to react to _this_?

…Well, not how I did, if the look of stunned, abject horror on Fifi's face once Clary had released me was any indication.

"S-Stone… W-W-What's going on here?!" Fifi asked, her accusatory look returning full force, though now it was focused on me. "W-Who is this girl, and why do you act like you know her?!"

"Uh, shit." I uttered. "…L-Listen, Fi… I know you said I never mentioned having any friends before I met you, but… Well, I did, way back when we first met. Though, I don't blame you any for not remembering, that was back when we were both still super fucked up in the head, after all…"

Fifi's look of anger continued to bore through me, but it soon subsided, and a look of depression replaced it. "…W-Wait… You mean… Th-This girl is… She's the reason you…"

"…Yeah." I confirmed, before quickly amending myself. "Well, not directly, but... I'm sorry, I haven't brought her back up since then because… Well, why would I have to? I never thought I would see her again! Please, don't be mad at me, Fi…"

Fifi shook her head at me. "N-No, I'm not mad at you, Stone… But…" As she turned from me to Clary, her anger suddenly reignited with a blistering fury. "You! How dare you act like you're happy to see Stone again, after you completely ruined his life! _You're_ the reason he was so depressed and distraught when he and I first met! Do you have any idea how long it took for him to get over what you did to him?! And you think you can just talk to him like an old friend, and _HUG_ him, even?! You don't deserve to even SPEAK to my master after what you did to him! Don't you DARE say that you're his best friend!"

Clary blanched, her entire body taking on a look of deep, ashamed regret, as tears began to well up in her eyes.

"F-Fifi!" I cried out in shock and anger at her outburst. "D-Don't say such awful things! Clary didn't ruin my life! She didn't do _anything_ to me! Her fucking parents were the ones who… W-Well, that shit doesn't matter anymore, anyways, it's all ancient history now!"

"B-But if it wasn't for her, you would still be able to-" Fifi began, before I quickly interrupted.

"No, Fi, that shit's all in the past. What's done is done. That was my own fault more than anything else." I stated, trying my best to calm her down. "I don't care about any of that stuff anymore anyways. I have you now, I don't need that part of my life anymore."

Fifi, though substantially calmer, was still visibly upset. "…B-But…"

I shook my head. "No, Fi. I don't care about that anymore, honest. You mean more to me than that crap ever did. If that shit wouldn't have happened, then chances are I never would have found you, and I don't even want to think about that, do you?"

"N-No…"

"Right." I said, giving her a small smile and patting her on the head. "Now, please, apologize to Clary. I appreciate you sticking up for me, I really do, but that was… Unnecessary."

Her ears drooping, Fifi looked over at Clary with regret, though she didn't seem very happy to do so. "…Sorry…" she muttered, before sulking back over to my side, making a show of grasping onto my hand again. Sighing, I shook my head and turned my attention back to Clary, who seemed to be absolutely mortified by this point. Thanks, Fi...

"Shit, s-sorry about that, Clary." I stuttered in shame. "Fifi… She didn't mean that, she's just… Very, _very_ overprotective of me… Please, don't let her words upset you… I'm not mad or anything of the sort at you. Hell, I'm overjoyed to see you again! I mean, even if you don't really look at all like you did back then… But your face is still as recognizable and pre- _*COUGH*_ , agh, r-recognizable as ever, ahaha…"

It took a moment, but eventually Clary spoke back up, smiling wistfully at both me and Fifi.

"Ah… Y-Yeah, it's fine… Neither of you have to apologize, Fifi is right… Even if it was my parents' doing, I still… I'm sorry, I should have stuck up for you more… But it looks like Fifi's doing a great job of that now, so… I'm happy to see you're doing well, Stone. Please, accept my apologies, Fifi, for anything I may have done to hurt him. I assure you, I had absolutely no intentions of doing so…"

Fifi looked down, obviously feeling guilty about her previous outburst, but seemingly too ashamed to respond.

"You don't have to apologize either, Clary." I said in Fifi's place. "Everything is cool now, so let's just… Drop this subject, please?"

Fifi and Clary both nodded in agreement, and I exhaled a massive sigh of relief, hopeful that the horrific awkwardness of the situation would finally subside.

"So, hey, fancy meeting you here!" I said with a grin, doing my best to make things positive again and start over. "Really though, holy shit. I can't believe it's you, Clary! What are the friggin' odds?"

"I know, right?" Clary said, shaking her head in disbelief. "Well, I guess it's not _too_ unusual, assuming you're still living in Kanak. I've been in Tuvent since… Then, so LeMasters is the closest academy for both of us. Still though, I never thought in a million years that I would ever run into you again, especially under such ridiculous circumstances! Ha, I should've known it was you the moment you said you got lost and ended up here… You always were the one person with a worse sense of direction than me, teeheeheehee…"

"H-Hey now, I don't know if I would say _worse_ …" I exclaimed, before dropping my shoulders and laughing. "…Alright, nevermind. You're probably the one person other than Fifi who knows first hand how bad I am, there's no point in trying to fake it around you."

"Yeah, I don't even want to recall how many times you got us lost on one of your little 'adventures' back when we were kids." Clary added with a smirk.

"I… Have no idea what you're talking about." I responded, stone-faced. " _Anyways_ , it's great catching up with you and all, but uh, we're still kind of stuck up here…"

"Shoot, you're right…" Clary replied, realizing herself that we were still stuck on the roof. "I was trying to get someone's attention from down there, but I don't think they heard me, it's probably really noisy down there right now."

"Great…" I muttered. "Damn it, and here I thought I was out of the fire today…"

"You could always call Flint…" Fifi persisted. "Or stay stuck up here. I don't care."

I reached into my pocket for my phone and let out a disgusted sigh. The last thing I needed was for Flint to have something else to mock me over, but… Ugh.

"Your brother still as obnoxious as ever?" Clary asked in amusement at my reaction.

"Yup." I replied. "Yours?"

"Probably more than ever, now." Clary said, folding her arms. "Clarv decided to follow in mom and dad's footsteps, so he's been acting more and more like them…"

"Ew." I said, remembering just how big of a tool Clarv had been back then. Flint, for as much of a fucking dickhead as he could be at times, always had my back, and never let _anyone_ fuck with me except for him. Clarv never seemed to give two shits about Clary, other than getting her and me in trouble whenever possible. I mean, not me so much after Flint broke his nose, but still. _Total_ asswipe.

"Yeah…" Clary groaned. "But I'd rather not talk about any of them, if possible."

"No arguments here." I stated, sharing Clary's mindset. Hearing a commotion, I looked down to see the crowd of students begin to flood into the building, and I let out a seething sigh. Ugh… Guess I was going to have to just bite the bullet here. I don't think I would be able to escape another glaring fuckup today unscathed. I began to text my brother.

 _"Flint, here at LeMasters. Stuck on the roof. Don't fucking ask. Don't fucking tell mom and dad. How do I get to the assembly hall from here?"_

Hitting send, I looked back at Clary and shrugged. "Well, nothing to do now but wait and hope he-"

" _CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SOOOOON, THER-_ "

"Oh my God, _that's_ your brother's ringtone?" Clary exclaimed, a grin spreading across her face.

"Sh-Shut up, it's a good show." I hissed, forgetting I had already swiped to answer the call.

"The fuck are you going on about, bro?" Flint asked in confusion. "I thought you were on the roof, what the hell show are you-"

"N-Nothing, Flint." I interjected before the conversation could get derailed from the get-go. "Shit though, I _am_ on the roof, please, for the love of God, just tell me how to get down from here and to the assembly hall as fast as possible."

I instinctively held the phone away from my ear to avoid his trademark obnoxious laughter.

"Ahahaha, what the _fuck_ , bro? I know, I know, don't ask, but, holy SHIT, dude! How the hell'd you even _get_ there? The section of school with roof access has been closed off to students since _I_ was still there, something about a remodeling project that they still haven't started for whatever reason… That's impressive, even for you! Ha!"

"Shit, well, I guess that explains why there weren't any signs and everything looked the same…" I muttered, more to myself than Flint. "Can the laughter, though, Fifi already took the shit out of me enough about it. Just, please, tell me how the hell to get to that damn assembly hall before I miss the stupid thing and get my ass expelled!"

"Bruh. What are you, blind? They have signs up in all the entrance halls, and there are teachers handing out flyers on every corner, telling you that, what a surprise, there's an app for that."

"What are you talking about? I didn't…" I began, before biting my tongue and remembering why I wouldn't have noticed any of that.

"Oh, man, you are _such_ a friggin' goober, bro…" Flint said in mock disgust. "God, just, sit tight, I'll send it to your phone. Don't say I never do anything for you, huh?"

"Yeah, thanks, bro." I said with a mixture of gratitude and annoyance as he hung up. Seconds later, a text arrived with an app attached, as he had promised. Thankfully, he wasn't fucking with me, and rather than sending some sort of disguised porn app, he had sent the actual, official 'LeMaster's Academy Student Maps' app. Shortly after, another text arrived.

 _"Better hope the cameras didn't catch you in the restricted section of the school, bro. No worries though, I'll start digging your grave so it'll be ready for you."_

"Fucking Flint…" I muttered, opening his app to see a colorful, positively massive map staring back at me. Thankfully (or not at all thankfully if this was data the school had access to), it quickly snapped to my location, and the assembly hall was already in the system as one of the default destination markers. Now, all we had to do was follow the little blue line. Surely, even _I_ could follow directions while looking at a map…

…

I handed my phone over to Fifi.

"W-What do you want me to do with this, Stone…?"

"Don't lead us into the basement."

* * *

A/N: I _was_ going to leave a big whinging self-loathing note here, but fuck that noise, I don't care anymore. I'm sure anyone still reading this by now realizes this story is going to be ridiculously long and that I think I'm a shitty writer. Should only be one or two more chapters until day two, though!

…Hopefully just one though hnnnngh...

Also, I would just like to say that Baseball Mogul has the best name generator in existence. Without it, and the ability to input any random name, word, or made up bullshit, I wouldn't have such wonderful names for every single character in this story. And don't worry, I have a list a mile long, so I won't be running out of them any time soon.

Also I don't own any pretty images, but all the good stories seem to have cover images, so yeah, shitty ass MS Paint garbage touched up with terrible shading in Gimp for me!

Anyways yeah, I have work in a few hours so I need to shut the fuck up and upload this already. Hope y'all enjoyed, have a good night~!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Shit, my bad, everyone. I did _not_ intend for it to take me over half a year to update this, but, uh, well, my family was kind of unexpectedly and suddenly homeless for the past few months. Well, not technically homeless, but cars don't have internet access, unfortunately. Things are better right now, though, but where I'm at now, the internet is... Well, it's a fucking battle just to upload and edit this, let's just say. I'll uh, ramble more at the bottom, though. Enjoy, I guess.

* * *

"Haha, oh wow, are you serious, Clare? What a fuckin' tool. You'd think he would've learned his lesson with Flint…"

"Nah, of course not. You know Clarv, his only way of having a good time is by ruining everyone else's. Thank God he's not here, I haven't been able to do _anything_ without him snitching on me since we moved. It's like he went into maximum overdrive on his stooging duties after… Well, y'know."

"Yeesh, I'm sorry, Clare."

"Don't apologize, it's not your fault, silly."

I couldn't keep myself from rolling my eyes as Stone's stupid, self-proclaimed 'best friend' let out another insipid giggle. I was still in the lead, so I had no worries about either of them seeing it. Not like Stone would've noticed in the first place, since he was too busy rambling back and forth with her about what the two of them had been up to since they last saw each other. Bleah. At least his brother's dumb map app was working, and we were back in an area of the school with signs of civilization. Hopefully this would spur the two of them to shut up… I swear, if I had to hear her obnoxious laughter one more time…

"…Hey, you alright up there, Feefs? You've been awful quiet for a long while now. It's not like you to keep your mouth shut for so long, hehe…"

Snapped out of my… Less than pleasant thoughts, I turned to my master and quickly, curtly nodded, before turning right back around.

"I'm trying to keep us from getting lost again, _master_. It's hard for me to focus on that and hold a conversation at the same time."

"Yeesh, alright, alright. No need to get snippy about it…" he replied, letting out a short chuckle. "You're doing a good job, though, so I'll leave you be. Proud of you, Fi."

"…Thanks." I scoffed under my breath. I had heard Stone and his family throw around the phrase 'proud of you' so much that I could never tell when he was saying it sincerely or facetiously. In as sour a mood as I was in, it certainly didn't feel like praise…

"Gosh, Stone, I still can't get over the fact that you have a Pokémon, let alone one that can talk!" Clary exclaimed vapidly. "I remember you were always the only kid I knew who never seemed interested in Pokémon training, but now, here you are, in a school specifically made for trainers and the like. I mean, unless you're here to become a ranger or a coordinator or something."

"Nope, I'm here to train, just like the rest of my family." Stone replied. "I know I'm not good at anything else, but with Fifi's help, I've at least been able to delude myself into thinking I might be able to become a somewhat semi-decent trainer. But we'll see how long that lasts. Probably a week, if that."

I let out a groan at Stone's stupid self-deprecating tendencies, but Clary spoke up before I had a chance to.

"Still as big of an overly-modest dweeb as ever, I see. I guess some things never change." she said with another giggle, and I could feel a little piece of my soul break apart at the mere sound of it.

"Nothing modest about it, I just know what my limits are, is all." Stone said, shrugging.

"Oh, whatever." Clary replied, shaking her head and smirking. "So tell me, what got you into training, anyways? I mean, you must be pretty serious about it if you're here at LeMasters, right?"

"Eh, I guess so." Stone responded. "To tell the truth, I haven't really focused on it very seriously at all until just recently. Me and Fifi only ever battled casually, but a while back Flint convinced me to join one of my class' tournaments, and… Well, we won. Pretty handily, at that. Of course, I chalk this up more to shitty bug-obsessed opponents and Fifi's skills more than anything, but it made me realize, 'hey, this is actually kind of fun', so I started training a bit more seriously, and, man, Fifi's actually really, _really_ good at battling."

I quickly shook my head. "No I'm not."

"Pfft, like hell you ain't." Stone said, flapping his lips. "You just beat the shit out of a fucking _Garchomp_ earlier, remember?"

"I didn't… I-I only managed that because of your guidance and because I absolutely had to, Stone." I muttered. "I-If I hadn't been as focused as I was, I doubt I would've been able to pull that off…"

"Man, whatever…" Stone said, rolling his eyes. I was only too happy to roll mine back at him. "I guess I only have myself to blame for your lack of pride, but oh well…"

"You _would_ find the one Pokémon with as big of a problem accepting praise as you, Stone." Clary snickered. "But you both seem so willing to build each other up instead, I guess that makes up for it in a way, heehee."

"Yeah, well, anyways, that's what I'm doing here." Stone replied brusquely, eager as ever to change the topic away from himself. "Enough about my dumb ass, though, what about you, Clare? I'm assuming your parents finally allowed you to have a Pokémon of your own? Or, ugh, please don't tell me they expect you to use _rentals_."

"Haha, no, thank God." Clary replied. "But, as a matter of fact, I _do_ have a Pokémon of my own. He's resting in my room right now, though, since I didn't figure he'd be too interested in attending the assembly."

"Ah, okay." Stone replied, nodding absently before double taking once Clary's words finished processing in his mind. "W-Wait, you have your room already?"

"Huh?" Clary replied in slight confusion before continuing. "Well, yeah, don't you? The first place I stopped was the administration office, they assigned me a room and sent someone out to take my belongings to it. They didn't do the same for you…?"

Glancing back at Stone, I could see he had that Deerling in the headlights look he was so good at etched back upon his face as he no doubt was struggling to formulate some kind of ridiculous story rather than simply admitting the truth.

"Uh… N-No, actually, I… Ah, w-well, let's just say I got, uh, temporarily distracted when I arrived, kind of like the opening to the Fresh Prince, only instead of getting in one little fight, scaring my mom, and getting sent off to a strange new land, I got sent off to a strange new land, got in one little fight, and I'm praying to my sweet, sweet Jesus that mom doesn't find out about it to _get_ scared and bring my ass back home. Ehehe…"

"…Woooow, your similes have gotten even _worse_ somehow." Clary responded after a moment, before letting loose with another one of her hellish laughs. "I, uh, _think_ I got the gist of that, though."

"Yeah, uh, hah…" Stone said, rubbing his neck sheepishly. "Trouble just seems to be following me around today…"

"Today?" Clary snorted. "Stone, trouble's been following you around like a shadow since you were a little kid, probably since the day you were born. But that's beside the point. I take it from your reaction that you didn't really make it to the administration office, even though it's right there smack dab in the middle of the entrance lobby, did you?"

"Gah, no…" Stone muttered, quickly becoming much more animated in defense of himself. "But, that wasn't my fault! For real! The moment I stepped foot into the school, I got roped into helping this poor kid named Coby that it turns out didn't even need help in the first place, fighting this absolute assbag and accidentally destroying most of the entryway in the process, _then_ I got stuck following the school's freaking headmaster to the COMPLETELY out of the way on-site Pokécenter with Coby and Assy so we could heal our Pokémon, and _THEN_ I got lost and, well, you know how _that_ ended up. So no, I'm gonna say, not even close to my fault, and also not my fault for getting lost in the first place, because how the hell was I to know there were friggin' signs everywhere advertising the damn app thing considering the circumstances? At least Uncle Bob has my crap and hopefully has everything sorted out by now…"

"…Yep, that sounds about right, coming from you." Clary said, doing a shoddy job at masking her grin. "From anyone else, I would say they were full of crap if they tried to feed me such a ridiculous excuse. But coming from Stone Hardacre? I'm surprised that's _all_ that's happened to you."

"Well, the day's still young." Stone responded dryly.

"…True." Clary said, her grin spreading. "Well, lucky for you, you have me to help keep you on track again now, just like the good ol' days."

"Ah, yes, that sounds so reassuring coming from the only other person on the planet who would ever end up getting so lost in this place as to end up on the roof." Stone quipped, smirking back.

"Oh, shut up, you dork." Clary said, punching Stone's arm before falling into a bout of laughter with him. "…God, I've really missed you, Stone."

"Ah, y-yeah, s-same here, Clare…" Stone said, his laughter becoming awkward as it always did when he was flustered. Somehow, it wasn't anywhere near as cute this time as it usually was… Ugh…

"Hmm? You say somethin' Feef?" Stone asked at the sound of my unintentional grumble, his attention briefly drawn away from _her_ for the first time in forever. You know, there's actually a _LOT_ that I want to say, master… But…

"…N-No, just coughing."

… _I don't want you to hate me._

"Oh, you okay?"

 _Not at all…_

"O-Of course… Just allergies or sinuses or… Whatever. Probably just dust from being in that abandoned section…"

Stone spent a moment studying me in concern, before shrugging. "…Alright. Lemme know if you need to stop to catch your breath or anything, alright?"

I smiled sweetly back at him. "Y-Yeah, thanks, master…" I quickly turned back around before he could see me blushing, however. He made my heart swell whenever he showed me so much care over such inconsequential things like a simple cough… Then again, he did a lot of things that made my heart swell… But just knowing he was always looking out for me like that… Ah, master… I…

…* _sigh*_ …

…I know, you do it simply because you care for me like any trainer would for their Pokémon… Nothing more than that. Still… It kept the smile on my face just thinking about it, even if it was nothing more than a silly, pathetic delusion. My smile swiftly faded back into a look of depression, however, as Stone and Clary were quick to return to their conversation, laughing and carrying on like the…

…Best of friends.

…

…If nothing else, Jesus at least listened to the least selfish of my prayers, as we had finally arrived at our destination, sparing me from having to hear any further awful conversations between my master and that dumb bitch.

…Hopefully.

…God, fuck you, Clary.

"…We're here." I announced loudly, clearing my throat to draw Stone's attention away from his and Clary's braincell-lowering conversation.

"Aw yeah, and we're only…" Stone began, reaching into his pocket for his phone before he realized I still had it. Handing it back to him with a smirk, he glanced at it with a nervous chuckle before most of the color drained from his face. "…Hngh, fifty minutes late… Fuck my life."

"Well, better late than never, right?" Clary said, though she didn't sound much more thrilled than Stone by our predicament. Or, well, their predicament, I guess. I'm just a dumb Pokémon…

"…I suppose we're about to find out." Stone exclaimed, as he tentatively pushed open one of the auditorium's double doors, peeking inside for a moment before nodding back to me and Clary like he was on some sort of top secret sneaking mission. Following him through to the other side, it was immediately clear that Stone's trepidation was unnecessary, as the majority of the students that filled the auditorium weren't even seated, instead clustered around in groups just like everywhere else in the school, creating an awful, noisy din that was only amplified by the cavernous room's echoing nature. Ah, the joys of having such overly sensitive hearing… I instinctively made my way closer to Stone, not in any hurry to lose track of him in such a confusing, crowded environment.

"Hmm, that's weird." Stone remarked, taking another glance at his phone's clock before looking back out at the room and scratching his head at the strangely empty, unlit stage. "Wasn't the assembly supposed to have started already?"

"I thought so…" said Clary, looking just as confused. "Maybe someone here knows what's going on…?"

Stone continued to look out amongst the crowded room for a moment, before his face lit up. "Hey, that's right, Coby's probably already made it here, assuming he didn't get harassed on the way here again, maybe he knows what's up." Fiddling with his phone, Stone began to type something out, presumably sending out a message to Coby. A few moments later, he got a reply, and judging by his expression, it wasn't the one he wanted.

"Welp, so much for that." Stone chagrinned. "He said he just got here himself ten minutes ago, so he doesn't have a clue."

"Bummer." Clary said, frowning, before quickly perking back up. "Hey, did he say where he's sitting? If nothing else, we can at least meet up and be confused together."

"He didn't, but good idea, just a sec." Stone replied, going back to his phone, getting a response soon after. "He says he's at Section C, Row 3, Seat 12, near the front. Hopefully shouldn't be too hard to find."

"You, uh, remember how hard it was for either of us just to find the auditorium itself, right?" Clary asked warily of Stone's claim. "Maybe we should just ask somebody before we end up back outside…"

"…Right…" Stone muttered, letting out a disgruntled sigh. Rather than immediately listen to Clary's advice, however, he began to fiddle with his phone again, before shoving it back into his pocket sulkily. "Of course they can't just list it on the damn map… What kind of useless piece of crap is this even…"

Clearing her throat, Clary folded her arms, and began to speak, this time with much more force. "Again, maybe we should just ASK somebody, Stone."

Hey, your voice works just as well as his does, bitch…

"Right, right…" Stone grumbled, before casting his vision back out amongst the sea of noisy students. Studying them for a good, long moment, presumably first for Coby himself, and then to find someone who didn't seem too preoccupied in conversation already, he soon settled on what seemed to be the only person standing by themselves, and taking my hand, began to lead us over towards them. As we got closer, I could tell it was a boy, dressed head to toe in black, including an altogether too uncomfortably warm for the location trenchcoat, and this is coming from someone covered in fur, and, even more stupidly, a pair of sunglasses. Between his choice of dress, and his generally unfriendly head-down, arms folded, leaning on the wall demeanor, I could tell that Stone was instantly regretting heading in his direction, but it was too late now, as Johnny Edgelord (as Stone no doubt had already dubbed him) had noticed us, pushing the brim of his all-black ball cap up and scowling as we stopped in front of him. Putting on one of his usual goofy, idiotic grins, Stone did his nervous laughing thing, before finally attempting to speak. "H-Hey there, I-"

"Beat it, twerp." Edgelord spat, shutting Stone down and resuming his previous too-cool-for-school position. I could feel Stone's hand tense up around mine, and he was no doubt trying hard to bite his tongue and keep from immediately insulting the asshole back. After taking a moment to compose himself, he spoke back up, more forcefully this time.

"L-Look, I'm just trying to find my friend, and was wondering if you might be able to give us directions to his seat." Stone implored as politely as possible.

Edgy sneered, looking the three of us over before shaking his head. "Yeah, well, take my advice, kid, and ditch these so called friends of yours before it's too late."

Stone looked back at Edgy in stunned silence, glancing over to me and Clary before looking back at the weirdo in bewilderment. "E-Excuse me…?"

"You heard me." said Edgy. "This friend of yours you're looking for? Your little girlfriend there behind you? They ain't nothin' but liars bent on betrayal, no offense, miss."

"Yeah, no, I kind of take a LOT of offense to that, you freak." Clary exclaimed in annoyance. "What the hell are you even going on about, anyways? All we wanted were directions, not… God, whatever it is you're ranting about."

"Peh, you even _sound_ like one of them…" Edgy chuckled humorlessly, only drawing more of Clary's ire. Stone, unfortunately, held her back from assaulting him.

"One of them? W-What the hell do you mean by _that_?" Clary asked angrily.

"Nothin' that concerns you, darlin'." Edgy replied, quickly turning his attention back to Stone before Clary could bellow in any further rage. "You, though, I hope you heed my words, kid. Someone as naïve as you look, you're just _askin'_ for trouble, goin' around talkin' to random strangers, thinkin' you can just make friends with 'em like this is some kind of video game or cartoon or somethin'. True friendship is a myth, kid, and the sooner you learn that, the better. I'd hate to see you suffer the same fate as me. If I were you, I wouldn't trust anyone other than your Pokémon there, they're the only ones that'll never betray you, no matter what. Their hearts are true and pure, unlike the black, disgusting cesspit that occupies each and every human chest in the world."

Stone's grip had loosened considerably, his irritation seemingly replaced entirely by the sense of 'what in the name of fuck' incomprehension that was evident on his face. Even considering all the weirdos we had already met today, this guy… This guy was on a whole new level of insane.

"Oooookay…" Stone slowly exhaled, as he backed away from the weirdo, doing his best to make Clary do the same as I followed suit. "I, uh, appreciate your concern, pal. Really, I do. But, uh, I take it this means you don't know where Section C, Row 3, Seat 12 is, right? Or, hell, if you could even point us in the direction of _one_ of those things, it would be-"

"You're an idiot, kid." Edgy growled, shaking his head at Stone in disdain before speaking back up. "…But then again, so was I. I guess it's just the curse of the idiot to have to learn things the hard way."

"I, uh, can't tell if I should feel insulted by that…" Stone murmured, drawing another disgusted head shake from Edgy.

"Just shut up already, will you?" Edgy spat, lowering his hat and returning to his 'I'm a friendless douchebag' stance. "I ain't got nothin' more to say to an idiot like you, kid, so scram."

For a moment, the three of us just stood there, at a collective, total loss for words. My ears soon perked up, however, as I could hear the weirdo murmuring something, and looking closely, I could see he appeared to be conversing with something, or someone, that was shuffling around inside his oversized coat.

"…No, I ain't gettin' involved with this crap…"

" _But they're just looking for help… When did we stop helping people?_ "

My ability to understand my native tongue was embarrassingly rusty, but yeah, there was definitely a Pokémon of some sort hiding inside there, though what kind, I couldn't tell. Being a Pokémon, I of course hear words where humans just hear crap like 'BRAIXEN BRAI BRAI IX IXEN' or whatever, so it's kind of hard for me to tell which Pokémon said what without seeing them. Though, judging by the fact that Edgy was seemingly in conversation with it, he could apparently understand it too. I don't know how, since our language is awful and ugly and clunky, but then again, the Pokémon's dialect definitely indicated that it had been around humans for a while, otherwise my shoddy translation would've come out much more in the range of caveman or baby talk.

"You know that ain't it…" Edgy muttered.

" _But…_ "

"No buts. I ain't gettin' burned again… Never again… You hear me?"

" _Burned again…? They just need directions! Why are you being so mean? It's like you're a whole different person now… This dumb outfit… Making me hide in public… This terrible attitude… What happened to-_ "

"He's dead. _They_ killed him, and you know damn well how and why I'm like this now. It's for my own protection."

" _What? Don't be so ridiculous! I_ _ **still**_ _don't even know what you are talking about when you go on about everyone betraying you… But none of that even matters right now anyways, why can't you just help them find their friend?_ "

"How would I even do that in the first place? I don't know who their damn 'friend' is, and I sure as hell don't know _where_ he is."

" _No, but the seats all have a bunch of human letters and numbers on the back of them, surely those must say what seat and row and section they are! They obviously don't know that though, so why can't you just tell them?_ "

Glancing over at the nearest seat, I saw that Edgy's Pokémon was correct, the writing on the back did correlate to exactly what seat it was. Edgy, of course, was not about to spill that info to Stone.

"Because… The last thing I want to do is aid someone else in my situation in ruining their life through the poisons of false friendships."

" _Ohh… But…_ "

Edgy and his Pokémon continued to bicker, but I quickly tuned them out, not at all interested in hearing any more of that lunatic's friendship hating babble. I turned back to Stone and tugged on his sleeve, interrupting his no-doubt enthralling conversation with Clary.

"Stone, look." I stated, pointing to and drawing his attention to the back of the seat. Bending over to see what I was motioning towards, his face soon lit up, and he turned to me with a look of pride, bringing me into a quick, unexpected hug and kissing me on the forehead. I… I wasn't used to _him_ showing _me_ affection like that in public…

"You're the best, Fi. _So_ proud of you." he exclaimed, beaming at me. After all the attention Clary had gotten, I was only too happy to revel in my 'accomplishment', and I happily smiled back at him.

"I-It's nothing, master." I said bashfully, shooting a quick glance over to Clary to make sure she had been paying attention to Stone's blatantly obvious show of affection. Hehehe… That's right, _I'm_ the best in his eyes, not you, bitch.

"You say that, but that smug look sure says otherwise…" Stone said teasingly. I hastily shook the icky, unintentional leer from my face, my usual look of shame quick to return in its place. Letting out a laugh, Stone ruffled my hair and stood back up. "Haha, just messin' with ya, Feef. I know you're just happy to help me. Really though, nice job, I never would've noticed that."

"Well, it helps being on eye level with it, I guess." I said with a small laugh, the lie being much simpler than explaining how I really figured it out. As much as I would have liked to properly thank Edgy's Pokémon for the help, I had no chance, as Edgy had sulked off to who-knows-where while I wasn't looking. Oh well, I doubt it cared, and with any luck, we wouldn't ever have to deal with its lunatic trainer ever again. I soon shook them from my head entirely, as I silently followed Stone to where Coby was seated, and with actual, proper directions, we found him in no time.

"Coby! There you are!" Stone said with a grin once he caught sight of Coby's instantly recognizable shock of hair and 'scarf'. I had to admit, his Mew certainly did play the part of an inanimate, stuffed toy eerily well.

"O-Oh, hey, Stone, Fifi." Coby exclaimed, smiling meekly at us in return as he stood up to greet us. His attention soon shifted to Clary, however. "Ah, i-is this… Another friend of yours?"

"Yeah, actually, this is…" Stone paused, glancing down at me for a moment before continuing. "…My childhood friend, Clary. It's… Well, not a long story, but definitely an embarrassing one, so uh, let's just skip the part about how we met back up. But yeah, Clary, this is Coby, Coby, this is Clary."

Clary eagerly stepped forward to greet Coby with a bow and a grin. "Hey there, I heard from Stone that he got you caught up in his usual nonsense. I should warn you now, that kind of stuff happens on a daily basis with him, so be prepared for the worst at any moment."

"Good grief, I'm not _that_ disaster-prone!" Stone exclaimed in exasperation. "If you keep saying crap like that, you'll make it so that no one will want to come anywhere near me!"

"Oh, relax, Stone." Clary said, rolling her eyes. "I'm just teasing. Don't worry, Coby, he's not always this big of a doofus. Just most of the time."

"Um… O-Okay…" Coby said awkwardly, clearly feeling out of place amongst Stone and Clary's banter and looking unsure of how exactly to respond. "It's, um, nice to meet you though, Clary. Um, d-don't mind me, though, I-I'm not… I don't want to bother you guys, so I'll just…"

"Huh?" Stone said, shaking his head. "You're not bothering us, Coby, don't be retarded. E-Er, sorry, don't be ridiculous, rather. I wouldn't have met back up with you if you were a bother. Hey though, why don't you show Clary your Pokémon? I'm sure she'd love to see her!"

"Uh, alright…" Coby replied, nodding lightly. "Say hi Mew, but don't make too much commotion, remember where we are…"

"W-Wait a minute, _Mew_?" Clary exclaimed in shock, her hands flying up to her mouth once she saw Coby's scarf begin to move about and giggle. "Oh. My. GOD. No _way_! You have a _**Mew**_ , Coby?" she said, doing a piss poor job of keeping her voice down so as not to attract undue attention. Luckily for Coby, no one seemed to have noticed thanks to how noisy everything already was. "That's crazy! That's **awesome**! Gosh, it's so cute! Where in the world did you meet it? Those things are supposed to be so incredibly rare, I can't believe I'm seeing one with my own eyes!"

"A-Ah, th-that…" Coby stuttered, looking from Clary to Stone nervously and letting out a small chuckle. "That's kind of a long story…"

"Ugh, really? That's exactly what Stone said when I asked him about him and Fifi!" Clary said, folding her arms and pouting like a petulant child.

"W-Well, I-I mean… It really _is_ a long story…" Coby reiterated. "And really, I just… Don't feel all that comfortable talking about it, it doesn't exactly bring up the best of memories… M-Maybe later on, though, when we're in a less… Public setting…"

"Oh, alright…" Clary said. "I'm holding you to it, though. And that goes for you too, Stone!"

"Yeah, yeah…" Stone replied dismissively. "You're totally blue-balling yourself over this, though. It's not an entertaining tale in the least."

"I _highly_ doubt that." Clary said, narrowing her eyes. "What's boring to you is usually ridiculous and amazing to a normal person."

"Try stupid and embarrassing instead." Stone said. "But ugh, fine, if you're that damn insistent about it, I'll just tell you now. Really, I've had to tell people this story so many times, I just don't want to retell it any more times than I have to, but since you and Coby are both here, I guess now's as good a time as any, seeing as how the assembly hasn't-" Before Stone could finish his sentence, the lights in the room dimmed to an almost pitch black level, and a loud, booming voice that I recognized as belonging to that professor guy's uptight secretary began to emanate from the stage and echo throughout the auditorium, obscuring all other noise in an instant.

"Attention, students, if you would all please settle down and be seated, the LeMasters School of Pokémon Excellency's welcoming ceremony will be commencing shortly. The faculty would like to apologize profusely for the wait, unforeseen technical difficulties sprung up, but rest assured, they have been duly taken care of. Once everyone has been seated and your attention is undivided, we will begin, so please be orderly and expedient."

In the darkness all around us, we could hear students stumbling and scurrying to find the nearest unoccupied seat, and I made sure to stick to Stone like glue as we were bumped into and shoved about numerous times in all the panic and confusion.

"Well, scratch that idea." Stone exclaimed, grasping onto my hand tightly and doing his best to motion to the others in the darkness. "Let's hurry up and sit down while there are still seats open!"

Thankfully, we were already close to the seats Coby had held for us, so we were able to claim them without any trouble. Before I could get my tail situated into a comfortable position, however, Stone tugged gently on my hand.

"Hey, uh, they probably don't want Pokémon taking up any of the seats, so you'd better sit with me, Fi."

"H-Huh? Y-You mean, on your lap, Stone…?" I stuttered, my face turning pink at the idea of sitting in such a… Compromising position.

"Well, yeah, there's not really anywhere else for you _to_ sit, unless you want to just sit on the floor."

"N-No, I don't mind sitting with you, master!" I said, perhaps a bit too eagerly, hopping out of the seat I was in and walking over in front of Stone.

"Here, let me uh, scooch back a bit so you'll have a little more room." said Stone as he scooted himself as far back in his seat as he could and spread his legs out to leave a small section of open seat available for me. "There, that should be enough room for you… Hopefully."

"U-Um…" I turned around nervously and lifted my tail up as I slid myself back onto the seat, not getting very far before my butt bumped into Stone's… N-Nether region…

"Gah, s-sorry, I guess there's not that much room after all…" Stone lamented.

"A-Ah, n-n-no, this is f-fine, master!" I quickly exclaimed, before he had a chance to move either of us. As I did my best to adjust my tail so that it wouldn't be in Stone's face, I… Um, 'accidentally' pushed myself up and grinded against him, sending a shiver down my spine and causing his legs to involuntarily twitch and tighten around me.

"H-Hah, easy there, Fi…" he said in a hushed tone, leaning in towards my ear so that the others couldn't hear him. "Th-That's a sensitive area…"

"S-Sorry…" I lied. I… Probably wouldn't be able to get away with that again… At least, not for a while… N-No, damn it, Fifi, stop thinking that way… N-Now was not the time or place for this…

"Everything okay over there?" Clary asked, casting a curious glance our way at the sound of our fidgeting.

"Y-Yeah, just fine, Clare." Stone quickly responded, wrapping his arms around me and holding me still against him, ending all squirming instantly. Rather than feeling constricted, however, it was… So indescribably comfortable. Being wrapped in my master's warmth and scent was simply heavenly… Even if that scent was predominantly his cheap body spray. Still, it was comforting, especially in such an unfamiliar place with so many strangers surrounding us. Yes… So very… Comfortable…

* * *

As I continued to wait with growing impatience for the stupid ceremony or whatever they were calling it to start, a sudden, unwanted moistness on my arm drew my attention downwards, and I let out a sigh of exasperation at Fifi's slumbering, drooling form.

"Ugh, really, Fi?" I muttered in annoyance, taking care not to wake her up but doing my best to shift my arm so that it wouldn't be her damn drool guard, using her fur to wipe it off in the process because like fuck was I getting that nasty ass shit on my good jeans. God, what I wouldn't give to be able to fall asleep as easily as Fifi could… I'm not sure how she could possibly fall asleep in such a horribly awkward and uncomfortable position, but damn if she didn't look content… Alright, to be fair, it wasn't as uncomfortable as it looked… She _was_ pretty soft and warm, especially her poofy, pillowy tail… Ah, no, shit, I couldn't let myself fall asleep in such an awful position, regardless of how incredibly comfortable it was…

Thankfully, things appeared to _finally_ be ready to get underway, as the auditorium's stage lights came back on, and the stage's curtains parted ways, revealing what appeared to be the school's entire teaching staff, all dressed in the same stuffy, uncomfortable looking manner as Professor Redwood and the other teachers from earlier. Speaking of the professor, as I scanned the group of teachers, I couldn't help but notice that he seemed to be curiously absent. As his snooty secretary strode to the stage's podium, her irritated expression coupled with the fact that she kept alternating between glancing at her wrist and further backstage seemed to indicate that this curious absence was probably the cause of the ceremony's massive delay. After a painfully awkward minute of this, which only served to make both the students and the teachers all the more restless, just as what's-her-face was getting ready to speak, a great commotion began to erupt from behind the curtain. The sounds of large, heavy, possibly expensive objects falling and shifting were heard, as well as a very audible even from my seat utterance of "FUCKIN' HELL, WHAT KIND OF STUPID GIT LEAVES A FUCKING PROJECTOR IN THE MIDDLE OF A BLOODY HALLWAY?!", and everyone's attention was immediately diverted towards the cause; that being the professor rushing out from behind it at fucking sonic speed, nearly taking the curtain with him as he snagged his foot on it, the nearby faculty narrowly managing to scramble out of the way as he stumbled haphazardly towards the podium, Ms. Snoot getting out of the way at the very last second to avoid becoming a secretary sandwich as he crashed headlong into it. Before anyone could even so much as ask if he was alright, however, he was already standing upright at the podium, adjusting his tie and clearing his throat, looking none the worse for wear and acting as if that was how he had meant to arrive. Too bad literally the entire school was watching, otherwise he _might've_ gotten away with it…

"Er- _hem_ , gre-"

 _ **SKREEEEEEE**_

Suddenly, the sound of HORRENDOUS MICROPHONE FEEDBACK filled the air, and those who weren't already clutching their ears in agony soon were once the professor started screaming directly into the mic, causing even more feedback on top of things.

"BLOODY FUCKING HELL! AH, BOLLOCKS, I DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT! GAH, NO, BLOODY MICROPHONE, STOP-"

The professor finally, mercifully, managed to shut off the microphone, but a steady, awful ringing persisted in my ears, and more likely than not everyone else's, as well. Well, other than Fifi, she was still somehow totally zonked out. Overly sensitive hearing my ass… I guess all that ear hair was good for something, at least.

After a few moments to recollect his bearings, the professor hesitantly turned the mic back on, and tentatively began to speak into it once more, this time at a mercifully lower decibel.

"Ah, ehehe, sorry 'bout all that! That was, ah, merely a test, to make sure you were all awake and alert, that's all!"

Yeesh… The more I saw and heard of this guy, the more absurd the thought of him being the highest ranking person in the entire school was. Dumbledore, he ain't…

"Yes, yes, indeed, just a test, that's all." the professor repeated, his composure somehow completely regained, regardless of all the looks of disbelief he was getting from around the room. "And now that I have your undivided attention, hello! Welcome, one and all, to the LeMasters School of Pokémon Excellency, the US Midwest's finest and most storied institute for promising young Pokémon professionals! While this _is_ still primarily a school for trainers, whether you are here to become one of those, a ranger, a breeder, a coordinator, or whatever else your heart desires, if it involves Pokémon, you've come to the right place. No other academy on the planet can hold a candle to our prestigious history, and blah blah blah, not one of you are interested in any of this guff in the slightest, I'm sure. None of you came here to hear me prater on and on about the school and its history, I'm certain you all know plenty enough about all that if you've made it this far, and to be quite frank, there is nothing I despise more about my job than having to repeat this dreadfully boring spiel every single year. So this year, we're going to be skipping this part, because I'm certain I've kept you all waiting long enough as is due to my, erm, slight difficulties in arriving here in an orderly time and manner."

Despite the heavy look of protest he was receiving from his secretary, the professor simply ignored her and carried on, his tone and expression becoming filled with much more enthusiasm as he continued.

"As it is, I would like to welcome you all in a much less formal manner to LeMasters. I am Professor Archimedes Redwood, and I am, somehow, still the headmaster here. It is my solemn duty to ensure that each and every one of you gets a proper education in your field of study, and unlike your public school system, I and my associates intend to make good on that promise. As you are all assuredly well aware of, it is not an easy task getting into LeMasters, so you should not be expecting to have an easy time here. Those of you who think you're hot stuff, that you know what you're doing, well, we will see very soon just how true that notion of yours is, and all I will say is that I hope your egos will not be as delicate and easily torn apart as those notions will be. And, on the other side of the coin, those of you with lingering doubts about your abilities, you will soon see those abilities put to the test, and it will be solely up to you to determine whether you let those doubts cripple you and cast you off as a never-was, or if you cast them by the wayside like the hideous little leeches that they are and allow your full potential to shine through."

I could hear a slight whimper from Coby beside me, as the crowd around me began to murmur a bit in concern over the professor's words. The professor, however, soon unfurrowed his brow, a much more light-hearted expression returning to his face.

"Please though, do not let this scare you or otherwise sour your opinion on your time here. I simply do not like to sugarcoat such things, but that is not to say your time here will not be an enjoyable one. I simply want to inform you all that while you are here, we are going to teach you, and we are going to teach you _hard_ , for lack of a more eloquent way of putting things. It is solely up to you if you embrace this opportunity, or crumble under the pressure, of which there really shouldn't be all that much of, since if you are here, then you are here for a very good reason. One stat about LeMasters that I _am_ very proud to boast about, is that we have one of the lowest failure rates amongst all of the Pokémon academies not just here in the United States, but worldwide. As you will soon find out, our staff here actually cares very much about seeing each and every one of you succeed, and not just because it is their job to do so. Even if you think you can't do it, even if things go poorly and you feel as if you may not be cut out for your dream, so long as you don't give up on yourself, _we_ will not give up on you, either. It is my firm belief that each of you is a diamond ready to shine as brilliantly as the sun; some of you may need just a bit more polish, but with a little time and effort, you will all gleam equally. And well, I do believe that is enough for our mission statement. Now, onto the fun stuff! Shula, if you would be so kind as to bring out that blo- _er_ , th-that is, _delightful_ projector from the back, presuming I haven't gone and shattered it along with my second favorite foot…"

Though extremely curtly, Shula did as asked, wheeling out a projector that appeared to be older than the school (possibly the entire continent) itself.

"Ah, you are _such_ a doll, Shula." the professor said, receiving another icy glare in return as Ms. Snoot sulked back off into the corner with the other faculty members, scribbling furiously into her notepad all the way. As the professor set up the projector, the thick layer of dust that coated it seemed to get caught in his lungs, and he began to cough and hack terribly. I couldn't feel anything but sympathy towards him at this point, as his misfortunes were reaching a comical level that I was usually only used to seeing happen to, well, myself. Thankfully, he managed to avoid dying, at least, and after a few moments of fiddling around with the controls, managed to turn it on, pulling down a large display screen and hooking up a laptop that was only slightly less ancient looking than the projector itself. Soon enough, a blurry image was displayed upon the screen, of what appeared to be a desktop background image of… A Teenage Mutant Ninja 'Tortle making out with a My Little Ponyta… I think. It was very colorful, at any rate. I had the distinct feeling the professor was very glad with how blurry the prehistoric-aged projector was, as he swiftly opened about twenty windows seemingly at random just to obscure it.

"AH YES ANYHOO, AS I WAS SAYING, ONTO THE FUN STUFF!" the professor practically shouted, causing another (thankfully minor) feedback from the microphone, prompting him to bring his voice back down to normal levels as he clicked away until a slideshow of pictures started up. "…Bugger all, I hate my life… Yes, anyway, here at LeMasters, we do not want you to think of our establishment as a mere boarding school, as nothing could be further from the truth. Such a term brings up images of stuffy, uptight bore-houses with nary a single thing to do for fun. The idea of LeMasters being any of these things is simply preposterous, as there is an extremely wide variety of activities to do, both on and off campus, and right now, I would like to highlight just a few of those many things for those of you who are new here. Returning students, please bear with me, I will get to something that will probably be much more to your liking next. But yes, here at LeMasters, we have all the latest amenities and state-of-the-art facilities that a rising star in the Pokémon world could ever dream about, as well as full-fledged athletics programs, and all sorts of other cliqueish, club-like activities for whatever hobbies you may be into that don't involve Pokémon. And, if our computer labs, gyms for both you and your Pokémon, luxurious swimming pools and tennis courts and every other little superfluous thing that we have spent entirely too much of our budget on is not enough to satisfy you, there is also the nearby Poké Oaks Mall, widely known as one of the largest malls in the world, and home to countless shops, unhealthy eating establishments, arcades, and whatever else you delightfully entitled millennials are so very fond of. Just be mindful of the school's curfew, as anyone caught outside of our grounds past it without a very valid reason will face _severe_ consequences. But nevermind that, surely you are all far too intelligent to ever have to worry about such a thing, so let us move swiftly on. There is, unfortunately, a rather large amount of dreadfully boring things I must discuss with you all before you leave regarding classes and schedules and dress codes and the like, but before we get to that, how about a brief preview for all of our new arrivals, and a refresher course for our returning students, of the quality of competition here at LeMasters?"

Clicking away at the screen again, the professor pulled up a video file labeled as… Well, shit, who fucking knows, some indistinguishable gibberish that was absolutely impossible to make out due to the screen's extreme blurriness. In any case, it opened what looked to be a Devon 95 media player of all things, which the professor thankfully paused and lowered the volume on before it could start and anyone's hearing was damaged even further.

"Now, I'm sure every returning student has already seen this scads of times, and I'm fairly certain a lot of you new arrivals have as well, as last I checked the video of it had nearly a million views online. Yes, last year's school championship battle was one for the ages, a legendary duel even by LeMasters' lofty standards. But, rather than hear it from me, I do believe there is someone else who would be far better served at providing insight and narration for it, that being last year's champion herself. Ms. Treeblood, if you would be so kind as to join me on stage, please."

At the professor's words, a girl stood up from the front row and strode gracefully up onto the stage beside him, bowing and waving to the rest of us as if she were some sort of royalty. Her long, flowing hair positively shimmered in the light, and if I were a more pretentious sort, I would say it could be described as lavender, or lilac, perhaps even puce. It was fucking purple, at any rate. Though, speaking of pretentiousness, this girl positively _reeked_ of it, from her obnoxiously luxurious hair to her brilliantly bright and beautiful blue eyes, or maybe they were green. I couldn't really tell, they seemed to be shifting colors somehow depending on the angle you saw them from. Damned if they weren't hypnotic, though. Her style of dress was also a sight to behold, practically begging me to describe it down to the very last minute detail but _fuck_ that noise, I would be 80 by the time I was done. Shit though, I had to admit, she was pretty. Really, _really_ damn pretty. Like, 'oh my God, why can't I take my eyes off of her' pretty. By the sounds of the chatter and whistling and generally creepy as fuck noises around me, I was pretty sure most everyone in the room with a dick (and probably a good amount without) had the same reaction.

"Dear students, you are looking at quite possibly one of the most phenomenal trainers to ever step foot in our hallowed halls." the professor exclaimed with much gusto. "Why, seeing how spectacularly she performed last year in just her first year here at LeMasters, I'm almost inclined to say that she's ready for the big time already!"

"Ah, professor, you flatter me too much." she said in what was probably the most perfectly melodious voice it was possible for a person to have. "There's still plenty I have to learn about if I ever hope to be a top tier trainer."

"Pfft, yeah right, sister…" I could hear Clary mutter under her breath. Judging by what I could see of her expression, she didn't seem to be nearly as enamored by Purple as the horndogs all around us were. Noticing me glancing in her direction, she leaned towards mine and Coby's seats and began to whisper in an annoyed tone. "Have you guys _seen_ what this girl is capable of? Pretty much every battle she's ever had since arriving here seems to have been recorded by someone and put up online, and she uses strategies and tactics that would make a gym leader look like a grade schooler by comparison. I can't believe she's even here for a second year, they should have just given her her trainer's license outright last year…"

"Shit… Really?" I muttered, looking back towards Purple and immediately becoming enamored by her mere presence again. Clary's voice quickly snapped me back out of it, thankfully.

"Yeah, this is so dumb…" Clary replied, groaning in disgust and sulking into her seat. "None of my friends would shut up about her at all last year, acting like she's the greatest trainer that ever lived, the last thing I wanted was to have to see and hear all about her the entire time I'm here, which I already know is what's going to happen. She has her own damn fanclub, for crying out loud…"

"…Shit." I responded, unable to come up with much more. "Surely she can't be _that_ great… I mean, she's only our age, after all."

"Ugh, I wish I was that naïve, Stone." Clary said, shaking her head. "Just… Wait until you watch the championship battle, you'll see… You won't _want_ to, but you will."

I let out a disconcerting grumble before turning my attention back towards the stage, making sure not to look directly at Purple, lest my eyes become unintentionally glued to her again. Yeah, definitely feeling more and more like coming here was a mistake…

"Nonsense, don't be so needlessly modest, you silly girl." the professor said, shaking his head vigorously in disagreement with Purple's claims. "Why don't we play the video evidence and let your fellow students be the judge of that, eh? And please, do feel free to chime in and elucidate us whenever you so wish as to any key moments you'd like to speak about."

"Aw, shucks, professor… If you insist." Purple said, in what I suppose was supposed to be a bashful manner. Her modesty was so put on it almost hurt, though. If there was one thing being horribly self-loathing and incapable of outwardly accepting praise did for me besides make me completely unlikable and unbearable to be around, it was cluing me in when someone else was faking humility, seeing how I was apparently so good at it myself. And this girl was _definitely_ not humble in any way. She was clearly reveling in all this attention and praise, though I guess nobody else seemed to notice or care other than Clary, certainly not the professor. It actually took the professor a good minute to get the crowd settled down enough to start the video, but when he did…

Oh God. Clary was right. That was definitely not something I wanted to see…

And I definitely did not belong here…

* * *

A/N: Yeah, sorry for keeping you all waiting so long just to put out such a short and bland chapter. Uh, just, please understand, this whole thing has been kind of low priority for me as of late due to the circumstances, it's been pretty hard for me to find the time to focus on dumb crap like this right now with so many more pressing concerns to deal with. BUT, this _is_ still _my_ dumb crap, and I still enjoy writing it when I find the time, it's just... Very hard to find that time at present. But ffffffffffuck, so many people are reading this for whatever reason, when I came back and saw how many reviews and favorites and follows and shit this had, I was all like "sheeeeeiiiiiiiit, son, that's awesome", like, seriously. I guess I underestimated just how many people were into this kind of thing. Shit though, I really can't say how much I appreciate all the kind words and all that, you guys are fucking awesome. I honest to God was expecting this to go over like a fart in a church as far as reactions are concerned. I mean, I suppose I'll be receiving that reaction soon enough if I keep this up, but eh, the positivity is nice while it lasts.

Real quick though, I need to say now before I forget, I'm probably not going to be posting any of the kinky shit I was so fucking foolish as to promise on this site, I made an Archive Of Our Own account to crosspost this shit to since they seem much less likely to get mad at me about such things as this site will, so whenever I get to that point way down the line, I'll let y'all know, since I realize that is probably what the majority of you are waiting for. I believe my account over there is ChoiceBrogan without the space between names, I made it before the homelessness thing happened and I've been too much of a lazy fuck to do anything with it yet, but I'll probably be crossposting this over there over the weekend, so yeah. I'll let you guys know when it becomes pertinent again.

But yeah, sorry again for the massive wait, and for the probably shit chapter. I wanted to put at least something out to let you all know I haven't abandoned this or anything. I meant for it to be longer, but it was taking forever to finish this as is, and this felt like an acceptable stopping point. Hopefully I will be able to do that one chapter per month thing at least, but if nothing else, it at least shouldn't take me over half a year again, in any case. Hopefully.

Oh right, and I meant to reply to this AGES ago when it was first posted, because I am an OCD-ridden fuck and I need to answer questions that are asked to me, but yeah, to answer your question about Fifi being hyper intelligent, FlightyEmotions, nah, not really, that's more just Stone's penchant for hyperbole rearing its ugly head. At least, I think. It's been so long since I reread any of this since I hate reading my own work, but I _think_ I remember what you are talking about. Apologies in advance for any future discrepancies of that sort, I write in a very disjointed manner, and I tend to forget things I wrote earlier on, even within the same chapter, so please, if I make any glaring errors or contradictions, you guys please let me know and I'll probably go back and fix them when I'm not feeling super lazy. Also on this note, if anyone ever has any questions regarding anything, plotwise, settingwise, etcetera, please, feel free to ask, and I'll be happy to answer so long as it doesn't involve spoilers or whatever and, as usual, I'm not being a lazy butthole. I don't really know how to expand on certain things in-story without it coming off as an infodump or whatever because I'm an untalented hack, so yeah. I should probably shut up now. Have a good one.

(Also it's late as fuck and I have to get to work soon so ffffffffffuck proofreading this for the billionth time, I'm sure I missed some hilariously bad errors, but eh. I'll fix them tomorrow.)


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Oh, shit. My bad. My excuse is the same as last time, unfortunately, that is, I am a miserable human being, etc. Many thanks to all of you who have been patient and understanding, I want to shit on myself and my writing but I know everybody fucking hates that so just, hopefully this was worth the wait. Now, onto a few review replies before I start rambling on and on like the piece of shit I am.

FlightyEmotions: Oh Jesus Christ, this is so embarrassing, and a shining example why I will never ever skip editing once I upload to the doc manager again, but, that whole "obb" thing... That was... Supposed to be "ohh". I... Have no earthly idea how I let that slip other than I was probably using a stupid font in Word where the b's and h's look similar, and I had a background color that blended in with Word's "this is not a word" squiggle line. This is no excuse. I am an idiot. My bad. But as for your other question, nah, when Fifi crashes, she crashes HARD.

September 7th Guest: Nah, don't worry, you're good. I realize how annoying it must be to wait for some asshole who takes half a fucking year to update a story, and for that, I apologize, because if there's one thing I'm really good at, it's apologizing. But also, you nor anybody else has to worry about me not continuing this, it may take forever and a day, but I will eventually update again. And if something ever comes up that completely prevents me from doing so, I will make sure to figure out some way to let everyone know, probably by way of my profile, since I can edit it with my phone. So yeah, I guess for anyone who worries that I may have abandoned this at any point, just check my profile. If it doesn't say anything about a hiatus, then everything is gravy. Lazy gravy, but gravy still. Mmm, gravy.

ShmokeyDaBear: Uh... They just make really terrible first impressions on people, that's all. Ahaha... Ha... Ha...

Thanks as always to all who have reviewed and left kind words including those who I've mentioned, y'all are too much, like seriously, that shit makes my day. And a particular thank you to The Vilified for corresponding with me and listening to me ramble about random shit, apologies for not being in contact for... Well, a buttlong time, the holiday season has always been a particularly trying time for me but I should maybe not be cripplingly depressed soon. Possibly.

Speaking of me rambling, I should stop that. Enjoy the mess, everyone.

* * *

"Dude, did you see the way she commanded her Pokémon?"

"Yeah man, like, damn, she barely even had to say anything, they just knew what she wanted them to do and when! That shit was cuh- _razy_ , bro!"

"And her Pokémon were so friggin' BEASTLY, too! I ain't ever seen Pokémon with skills like those! Dat Lucario, dat Sylveon, dat _Latios_ , man!"

"I can't believe she came back for another year! To think, I get to go to school with _Ariala Treeblood_! She's so cool! She's so gorgeous! M-Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll get to share a class with her, and I might even be able to _sit next to her_ , and then I can sniff her hair, and then follow her back to her room, a-and steal her d-dirty underwear, and-"

I very quickly noped the fuck away from listening in on _that_ conversation as fast as I could, but no matter; as I walked down one of the school's expansive main corridors alongside Fifi, Clary, and Coby, all anyone around us seemed to be capable of talking about was _her_. Ariala Treeblood, the reigning school champion. And… Jesus, after seeing that video of her, as grainy as it was, I couldn't really blame them. I desperately wanted to believe that it was just a case of her being a major league ready talent facing off against clearly raw minor league competition, but… I can't imagine the school's second best trainer was that much of a novice. No, he tried his damndest to win and to employ strategies, he clearly knew what he was doing and was in that championship battle for a reason. But Purple… Holy shit, she made him look like a total chump. The way she battled… It was like watching a professional league battler, the kind you see on globally televised events, the kind that make millions upon millions of dollars and are household names around the world. Except… She's a friggin' schoolgirl. To think that _this_ was the level of competition here at LeMasters…

Who the fuck was I trying to kid, I had absolutely no business being here. Flint at least had _some_ experience and more than one Pokémon when he came here. I only got here out of pity. The professor may have went on and on about having confidence in his little speech, but shit, I don't think he had a scrub of my low stature and skill in mind when he said that, he meant people who actually deserved to be here, who earned their place here. Not some rando Joe Schmo loser like me who lucked into a spot due to being related to someone with actual ability. I… I couldn't let Fifi do this, it'd be pointless. I wouldn't let her get hurt and knocked out over and over and over again due to my lack of talent and negligence. It didn't matter if she said she didn't mind, that's not how someone is supposed to treat their partner. But… What was I supposed to do? I couldn't just leave… Fifi would think I was the biggest loser ever, and so would Clary and Coby, Uncle Bob would hate me forever, and my parents… Ah, fuck, I had forgotten all about their little 'condition' of my stay here. Argh, what the hell could I even…

"Hey, you alright, Stone?" Clary asked, snapping me back to reality. "You've looked pretty tweaked out ever since we left the auditorium. Something the matter?"

I turned to her and shook my head. "Nah, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" asked Coby, giving me the same look of concern that Clary was. "You're kind of starting to look like me a little, haha…"

"Yeah, I'm good, no worries." I said, forcing a grin and giving an a-okay sign. "You of all people should know I have a terminal case of resting bitch face, Clare." Prompting an eye roll from Clary, my answer nevertheless seemed to have satisfied her and Coby. Fifi, on the other hand, obviously knew me too well to buy it, and as soon as the others turned their attention away, she tugged at my hand and looked up at me with a worried frown.

"Stone…"

"Later, Fi. Please." I whispered before she had a chance to get on my case about it. I knew she wouldn't stop pestering me about it until I told her, but this was definitely not a conversation I wanted to have in public. She thankfully relented, though the look she gave me was definitely one that indicated that she would be holding me to that. Terrific…

Nevertheless, we continued to walk in relative silence for a while. At least, if you considered hearing 'Treeblood' echoed around you in dozens of voices every other second silence. Eventually, Clary let out a thoroughly disgusted sounding sigh, looking about as grouchy as Fifi had when I woke her up.

"Ugh, I am _so_ sick of hearing about this girl." she grumbled. "God, I can't wait until the exhibition tournament tonight, maybe someone will actually put her smug ass in its place and people can find someone else to never shut up about… Bleh, as if that has any chance of happening…"

Oh, right. In all my doom and gloom, I had nearly forgotten about the professor's surprise announcement, which had almost seemed to have been an afterthought to him, as caught up in verbally fellating Purple as he was. Something to get the school year kicked off with a bang, he said. Or, more likely, a showcase for Purple to demonstrate her god-tier skills for her apparently school-wide fan club. Certainly not something _I_ was looking forward to, in any case, but I suppose it would beat moping around in my room unpacking and generally hating life.

"S-She did look pretty fierce, but… Nobody is unbeatable." Coby stated, somehow the sole voice of positivity amongst the lot of us.

"I wish I could think that, but I just don't know…" Clary replied dejectedly. "I've had to hear _all_ about her from my friends for months on end, I've seen just what she's capable of, and it's… Not pretty. As far as I'm aware of, she hasn't so much as allowed one of her Pokémon to faint, nevermind lose a battle. She's… Not a normal trainer. But, even still, that doesn't mean she should be revered like she's the friggin' president and pope rolled into one, I mean, sheesh…"

"O-Oh dear… Well, w-why don't we, um, talk about something else, then?" Coby meekly suggested.

"Like what?" Clary replied, her eyes suddenly lighting up. "Oh, you mean like how you guys met your Pokémon, right?" She turned to me with a grin. "Why don't you start, Stone? Since you got so rudely interrupted earlier, hehehe."

"Man, I forgot how friggin' nosy you were." I grumbled, still not very enthused to repeat the same stupid story I had told ad nausium to pretty much every person who had ever come into contact with Fifi. It didn't look as if I would have a way to escape this time, though… Ugh. "Fine, whatever." I grumbled, scoffing at Clary's _far_ too excited, 'all ears' expression before launching into the heavily abridged version of my story for the umpteenth time. "Alright, so, basically, a couple of years after you moved away, when I was around, I dunno, ten or eleven, I did something really stupid, and I ended up in the woods on the outskirts of Kanak. While wandering around lost, I heard frightened crying, and thinking it was some poor Pokémon that had gotten trapped or injured somehow, I followed it to the source, because I was a stupid ten year old and thought I would be some sort of hero like kids my age always were in cartoons and games. Except I wasn't, I was just a stupid ten year old, and while I was expecting the trapped and injured Pokémon, I wasn't prepared for what had caused it to become trapped and injured in the first place. Then I did something even stupider, and I probably should have died that day, Fifi too, but everything went better than expected, and we didn't, and now we're best friends forever. The end."

Once I had finished, the others stayed silent for a moment, apparently not knowing what 'the end' meant and waiting for more. Soon enough, Clary spoke back up, giving me a particularly hairy eyeball in the process.

"Okay, no, what the hell was _that_ , Stone? Don't be so vague and mysterious about everything, that's such a cop-out!"

"Hey, you didn't specify." I said, shrugging. "You just said you wanted to know how me and Fifi met, and that's how. The full version takes _way_ too much time to tell, and you're not missing anything interesting anyways. You got the main parts, anything else that I didn't mention is unimportant."

Fifi let out a cough. "I don't know about that, Stone…" she murmured, giving me a sideways glance.

"Shush, you." I muttered back, not wanting to give Clary any more reasons to bug me about it.

"Alright, fine. Be that way, Stone." Clary said, folding her arms and doubling down on her hairy eyeball. "I'm gonna get the full story out of you sooner or later, so I'm not upset. I still remember how to make you talk, after all."

"Terrific." I muttered. Why does nearly everyone in my life have to be so damn nosy about everything…? Ah, well. If nothing else, the conversation had been shifted away from Purple, and Clary seemed to be in a much better mood as a result. Catching her gaze shifting over to Coby, I quickly spoke back up before she had a chance to try and pester him for his story again. "Hey, so, speaking of our Pokémon, you still haven't told me anything about yours, Clare."

"Wait, really?" she exclaimed in genuine shock, before quickly giving me another one of her teasing smirks. "Yeesh, I've only been around you again for a couple hours or so and already your scatterbrained aura is starting to rub back off on me. I actually have half a mind to think that just being in the same building as you was close enough proximity to get me stuck on the roof in the first place."

"You sure it wasn't just because you only have half a mind?" I said, knowing better than to give Clary an inch in regards to being a teasing shithead.

Clary glowered at me for a moment before letting out a soft chuckle. "Alright, fair enough, I walked right into that one. Geez, though, I can't believe I haven't mentioned my own Pokémon yet… Well, anyhow, his name is Lucius, he's a Lucario. Not quite as impressive as a talking Pokémon or a _Mew_ , I know, but I wouldn't trade him for any other Pokémon in the world. He was pretty exhausted from helping me pack everything up this morning and then helping me bring it all to my room here, so I figured he would enjoy some time to rest and relax there before I met up with everyone else."

"Everyone else?" I repeated, raising my eyebrow.

"Oh my gosh, that's right, I totally forgot about that, too!" she said, another overly-excited grin spreading across her face as she turned to look at me. "I was heading to meet up with my friends when I ended up getting lost and, ahem, 'running into' you, Stone. I ended up just texting them all that I'd meet up with them later tonight, but I wasn't expecting to be seeing you of all people today, so it totally slipped my mind to try and meet up with them in the auditorium. I'll bet I got at least twenty missed calls and 'Where you at girl?!' texts right now, ehehe… But hey, this is awesome, now I can introduce you guys to them, and we can all hang out later at the exhibition tournament, and I can tell them all about you, and tell you all about them, and yeeeeeeeeah, this is _the best_!" Pulling out her phone, Clary began to feverishly swipe away at it, her eyes bulging with excitement and gleeful titters escaping from her mouth, eventually stopping in place against a wall presumably so she wouldn't run face first into some other idiot walking around with their phone in front of their face.

Once I had fully processed what she had just said, my stomach fell a bit at the news that she had friends here… Selfish, yes, but seeing her again after all this time had gotten me so happy and excited, I wanted to be able to catch up with her and hang out like we used to, just the two of us, but… Eh, I'd still probably be able to do that, I shouldn't be so self-centered… I didn't have too much time to stew on the thought, thankfully, as Clary slipped her phone back into her pocket and began to speak at a hundred miles per hour again, rocking in place on her heels and clasping her hands together in front of her as she looked from me to Fifi to Coby, looking about ready to take off like a rocket ship on its way to Mars. "Omigosh, so I just sent a group text to everyone letting them know what's going on, I'm going to have us all meet up later tonight at the tournament, this is going to be so awesome, oh my God, yes! I have to go get ready, I'll go get Lucius and then get changed and and and I'll text you later to let you know where to meet back up, Stone. Ahh, this is the best day _**EVER**_! I'll see you later Stone, you too, Coby!"

Without warning, Clary pulled me into an awkward, impromptu bro hug/high five/fist bump… Thing that neither of us could decide on, then just as quickly let go, causing me to nearly fall over as she darted off down the hallway, waving and yelling goodbye the whole way. And just like that, she was gone. Once the rest of the students around us had stopped staring in confusion to return to their Treeblood talk, I gave Fifi and Coby a glance to make sure they were still there, then continued to stand and stare after her in utter bewilderment well after she had already disappeared from my view, until Fifi snapped me back to attention with a particularly disgusted sounding groan. With her arms folded tight and her head shaking more-likely-than-not involuntarily, I sighed, not even having to hazard a guess as to the cause of her perturbance.

"…Ugh, who does she think she is, she can't just…"

I could hear her muttering under her breath as I drew near, though she quickly quieted down once she noticed me, putting on a much more innocent, though still incredibly sulky expression as she started to speak to me.

"Stone, I don't want to be rude, but…" she began, lying plainly through her teeth as she gave me that matter-of-fact look of hers. "That girl is such a du… Ditz. And I don't wanna have to hang around with some big dumb crowd of people I don't know, that whole 'more the merrier' thing they say is utter crap. I don't suppose if I complain enough, I can convince you not to go? _Please_?"

I gave her a sympathetic look, but shook my head. "Well, _you_ don't have to go if you don't want to, you're more than welcome to rest up in our room, whenever we find out where that is." Predictably, this only made her slump her shoulders ever further down and let out another over-exaggerated groan, before looking up at me with her ultra pout. I wasn't about to let her manipulate me again, though, so I merely chuckled and ruffled her hair until she slapped my hand away to fix it. "Really though, Fi, you shouldn't be so hard on Clary. She's really nice, she just comes on strong because we were always giving each other shit when we were little, kinda like how you and me do now. It's all in good fun, y'know."

"Ugh, as if!" Fifi said indignantly, turning up her nose. "I don't call you names and try to make you look dumb in front of other people, or try to blame you for my own stupid mistakes…"

"Aw, Fi, she didn't do either of those things." I said, trying to get her to look at me but getting nothing but a cold shoulder. "Fifi, come on… Like I said, she was just playing! That's just how we've always talked, it's like… How I talk to my brother and sister, you know? That's…" Quickly, my mind began to form an awful, vile sentence, one that escaped from my mouth without the slightest bit of foresight. "That's kind of what she is, you know? She's just like a s-sister to me, ahaha…"

Suddenly, Fifi's eyes, which had been shut so defiantly so as to not have to look at me, sprung right open, and they stared widely at me.

"Like a… Sister…?" she repeated, slowly, deliberately, as if she thought she had heard me wrong.

"O-Of course." I immediately blurted, knowing Fifi would take any amount of hesitation as a sign of my lie. "H-How else would I see her, silly? I mean, I grew up with her, after all! D-Don't be so paranoid, Fi! I mean, I…" It was at this point that I noticed Coby was still there, hanging back but looking on at mine and Fifi's conversation with a curious expression, hopefully not having heard any of it… Shit.

"…You what, Stone?" Fifi asked, also staring curiously at me now thanks to my hanging sentence. _Shit…_

"I… Uh…" I could feel myself beginning to sweat, suddenly feeling as if I was being interrogated like some sort of criminal who just did something terrible. Looking from Fifi to Coby and back, my mouth once again began to do its own thing without consulting me first. "I mean, I just… Don't want you to get the wrong idea, alright? You don't need to be jealous of Clary, she's just a friend. She isn't special to me like you are."

… _Wait, shit, shit,_ _ **SHIT**_ _, wrong phrasing, WRONG FUCKING PHRASING-_

"…O-Oh…" Fifi exclaimed softly, all traces of her previous anger gone, replaced with the overly sweet, far too tender look I was all too used to getting from her, though that too soon shifted into a look of guilt and regret. "…Umm… I'm… Sorry for overreacting like that, master… I just… I don't want you to… Get hurt…"

"Don't worry about it, Fi…" I said, shaking my head vigorously, doing everything in my power to keep my facade up. "You don't have to worry about anything like that, okay? Just… Please, try to be a little nicer to Clary, alright? That's all I ask…"

"O-Of course, master…" Fifi replied quietly, hanging her head in shame. "I… I feel terrible now…"

"Don't, I know you were just sticking up for me." I said, patting her on the head in the most Pokémon-not-anything-more-than-that way possible, lest Coby managed to overhear any of that and gotten any horrendously wrong ideas. "I appreciate it, Fi, just… Try not to be so headstrong about it in the future, alright?"

After a moment of hanging her head, Fifi looked back up at me, her usual carefree smile finally returned, a sight that I was more than glad to see.

"You have my word, master~."

…Yeah, anything to see you smile, Fi…

Even…

…Ugh.

Me and my big fucking mouth…

* * *

Coby, thank _God_ , was none the wiser in regards to that dumpster fire of a conversation I had had with Fifi, apparently having been conversing with Mew so as not to eavesdrop, a courtesy I was not at all used to receiving from literally anyone else in my life. But, regardless, with Fifi in much higher spirits, and not much else to do other than become enthralled in another one of the fine, lovely conversations about darling Purple that were swirling all around us, I gave Uncle Bob a call, hoping he had gotten things in order with Professor Redwood so that Fifi and I might be able to rest and relax in my new room for a bit before the tournament, God willing with nice, normal, not insane shitstain roommates. Thankfully, he had gotten things squared away, and was actually waiting for me to call so he could show me to my room. Parting ways with Coby (who was none too keen on the prospect of having any further interactions with my uncle), we made plans to meet back up whenever and wherever Clary decided, and I made my way back to the main entrance hall where Uncle Bob was waiting, obviously assuming I couldn't possibly get lost along the way since I had already been there.

Terrible assumption, of course, but I wasn't _too_ late, thanks to Fifi reminding me about Flint's map app, ten minutes into me going the wrong way. But, better late than never, we met back up with Uncle Bob _eventually_ , and that's all that matters, damn it.

"Man, you just can't catch a break today, can you?" Uncle Bob said, laughing as usual as he led me and Fifi up to the fourth fucking floor where my room was. _**Fuck**_ my life. "Sorry, I asked if there were any less out of the way rooms left, but you were kinda SOL on that due to the whole 'not registering immediately' thing. But hey, at least it wasn't the fifth floor, right?"

"Ugh… Great, that means I'm going to be stuck with a bunch of other absent-minded shitheads too, doesn't it?" I bemoaned as we slogged up another flight of stairs, the elevators conveniently out for repairs, of course.

"Haha, probably!" Uncle Bob replied, obviously not caring about my plight in the slightest. "Actually, now that you mention it, Redwood did say something about trying to pull some strings for you due to the, uh, 'extenuating circumstances', I think he put it, regarding your late lodging application. So hey, maybe he found you some nice, quiet, namby-pamby breeders or coordinators to room with!"

"Urgh, I hope not." I grumbled. "Mom turned me off of coordinating hardcore with all those shitty reality show competitions she watches, and Pokémon breeding sounds boring, gross, and creepy all at the same time, I'd much sooner just room with three other trainers, so at least we'd all have something in common to talk about."

"Hey now, coordinatin' ain't so bad." Uncle Bob replied. "It's a helluva lot more challenging and exciting than those dumb shows make it seem, most of that garbage is scripted anyhow. Didn't your ma ever take you guys with her to any of her shows before she hung it up?"

"Yeah, until she found out me and Flint were sneaking out to watch the pro wrestling shows that were taped in the next studio over." I stated, flapping my lips at the memory. "She stopped taking us after that, oddly enough."

"I will vouch that the wrestling was _way_ more entertaining than the contests." Fifi added.

"Ah, yeah, that's right." Uncle Bob said. "You and Flint used to watch that stuff religiously, didn't you?"

I nodded. "Still do, for the most part. Ha, I remember when wrestling used to be my backup plan if baseball didn't work out, me and Flint were going to be the world's next great tag team… That is, until Flint broke his arm trying to elbow drop our neighbor through a table off of our roof. He missed too, the putz."

"Ohoho, yeah, I remember that." Uncle Bob said with a deep belly laugh. "Hoo, was your ma ever pissed! I still remember her making me threaten to put you guys through military school if you ever did anything like that again!"

I let out an involuntary shudder at the memory. "Yeeeeah, mom invented a lot of new cuss words that day… Safe to say, _those_ dreams of superstardom fizzled out pretty quickly."

"Heehee, not _that_ quickly." Fifi exclaimed. "You still let Flint goad you into finishing the 'feud' you guys were having with those idiots."

I gave Fifi an indignant look. "Yeah, but hey, it couldn't be helped that Flint was a stupid idiot and broke his arm right before our dumb neighborhood federation's biggest show of the year. The other kids would've never let him, and by extension, me, live it down if I didn't show up. And uh, it's _also_ not my fault that he announced you as my last minute mystery replacement partner because he couldn't find anyone else that he could trust not to snitch on us."

"Sure, Stone." Fifi said wryly. "You're just lucky my you-preservation instincts are stronger than my self-preservation ones."

"Heh, you're also lucky I was still in town to help with your guys' cover story." Uncle Bob added with a grin. "You'd think your mother of all people would know how unlikely getting hit directly in the eye by a foul ball at a baseball game would be."

"Ha, I know, I know." I replied, unable to hide my own smirk. "Mom will never know the terrible truth of my autographed Santos Santos foul ball. Because thank God, neither her or dad know what his actual signature looks like." My smile quickly faded, however, once I processed what Fifi had said. "…Hey, but don't say that, Fi." Seeing the look of exasperation on her face, I knew exactly what she was going to counter with, and quickly put a positive spin on things before she could. "E-Er, that is to say, you doing that shows that your own self-preservation instincts are way better than you think they are. I mean, you were just fine dealing with those guys in the, uh, 'ring', if you could call it that. Granted, it was just a bunch of stupid kids pretending to fight and doing it very badly, but point is, you were totally okay being there and didn't freak out at all like you usually do around others. And if you can stay calm in a situation like that, you can easily stay calm around people here too, Clary's friends included."

Fifi, rather than react positively as I had hoped, began to grumble and sulk. "…That was different, Stone. I was used to being around those guys, you and Flint always hung out with them so I knew they weren't dangerous… Plus, you were right there with me. But I don't know anyone here. Coby is obviously nice enough, and I guess Clary is… Okay. But then, look at everyone else we've run into so far! Assy and all those other jerks that were harassing Coby, that emo creep in the auditorium, literally everyone around us that is completely ignoring the fact that I'm talking to you as clear as day because they're all so caught up in that Treeblood girl… I mean, even the faculty! They're all psychopaths!"

I couldn't help but snort at Fifi's gross exaggeration, causing her to let out another grumble of discontent. "Psychopaths? Please, Fi. Weirdos would suffice." She let out another groan, but I could tell she knew she was laying it on thick at this point. "Plus, I don't think we'll ever have to deal with Assy or any of those other freaks ever again, the odds of us ever running into him or Edgy McNofriends or any of those other goobers in anything other than passing in a school this size are practically nonexistent. There are plenty of normal kids here, we just happened to run into a large number of buttholes by chance, that's all. It's like Clary said, I just seem to have a magnetic attraction for trouble and weirdness. But you should be used to that by now, silly."

Fifi hesitated for a moment, clearly looking like she wanted to say something, but instead she just shook her head and lowered her gaze. "…Whatever you say, Stone." she said tersely, though her tone soon softened and her grip loosened as she looked up at me with her usual carefree smile. "I know I'm always safe with you, so I'll go wherever and do whatever you want, so long as it makes you happy, my love…-ing master. Teeheehee…"

Ah, geez, Fi…" I grumbled, both at her deliberately horrendous choice of words and also the fact that she didn't seem to get my point at all.

"Ha, you worry too much, Stone." Uncle Bob interjected as he unexpectedly clapped me on the back in what was assumedly meant to be a friendly manner. No matter, that was definitely going to leave a mark, ow… My flinching, of course, only made him laugh harder as he continued. "You definitely got your ma's worrybone. But I don't think you need to stress out so much about Fifi. She'll get over her anxiety, and she'll probably do it without either of you noticing it, it just takes time."

"…Yeah, I know." I replied, looking down. "I'm sorry, Fi, I know you'll be fine, and I'm not meaning to be pushy, I just… I really want you to be able to handle yourself and your own life, and not just do everything for my sake. You have a life too, you know."

"I know, Stone." she said, still smiling sweetly. "Like I told you before, everything I do for you or say to you is done sincerely out of love because you're my best friend, not out of obligation because you're my master. Everything I do _is_ my own choice. There's nothing I'd rather be doing with the rest of my life than making you happy for the rest of yours, because you do the same for me."

…Augh, Fi, why do you say things like that…? Especially in front of other people, damn it…

"…I'm not that selfless, Fi…" I said quietly, not sure how to really respond to something like that. I had to look away from her and Uncle Bob as I could feel my face beginning to burn, something I didn't want either of them to see under any circumstance for very different reasons. I wasted no time in changing the subject before either of them could continue it. "Hey, but we should almost be to our room by now, right unc?"

"Heh?" Uncle Bob grunted, seemingly having been daydreaming as it took him a moment to respond. "Oh, yeah, that's right. Just passed room 404, so it's only a few more doors down around the bend from here. No more stairs, at least!"

"Thank Christ…" I muttered, my legs feeling like jelly at this point from trying to keep up with Uncle Bob's brisk pace.

"Alright, here we are, buddy!" Uncle Bob announced moments later, as we finally stopped in front of a door that was probably further away from the stairs than any other on the entire floor. "Room 413! Hopefully your ma didn't pass down her horrible superstitiousness to you too, ahahaha!"

… _Fuck_.

"…N-No, of course not, unc." I said with a chuckle, not putting much effort into making it sound genuine as I was too preoccupied with the irrational fears that began to flood my mind. "Don't be ridiculous, it's just a number, haha… Ha…"

"Actually, it's two numbers!" he replied. "If you think it's bad how much people don't like the number thirteen here, you should see how freaked out people over in Japan are by the number four! It's crazy bad juju to them, they're so serious about it that they'll even skip the fourth floor in some buildings, leaving everything completely empty and going from the third to fifth floor and beyond like it's perfectly normal." He let out another raucous bout of laughter, completely oblivious to how white my face had no doubt become. "But hey, like you said, it's nothing more than people being completely ridiculous, so obviously you have nothing to worry about. But hey, enough of my rambling, why don't you two head on in and see if any of your roommates are already here so you can get acquainted with them? I have a few more things I have to get squared away for you with the school, so I'll leave you to your own devices, but I'll let you know before I leave, alright? Now go on, get in there and break in your new room, ahahaha!"

Ignoring my now trembling stature, Uncle Bob opened the door for me, then slapped the key into my hand before clapping me once more on the back with enough force that it propelled me, and Fifi by extension, headfirst into the room, both of us stumbling and falling on our faces. This, of course, only caused Uncle Bob to laugh even louder before he slammed the door shut, meaning that if any of my roommate were there, they would definitely be rushing out to see me laying in such a stupid state, if they weren't already staring. I scrambled to my feet, pulling Fifi up beside me before I began to frantically scan the room. Thankfully, there didn't seem to be anyone else around, at least, not in the main room. As I surveyed my new room, the picture I had had in my head about it very clearly did not match what was the reality, as instead of it being one large open room with multiple beds, it was a cross shaped room with a small commons area in the center with a couch and TV, with four smaller rooms in each 'corner' of the main room, each with their own door facing the commons area in the center. I immediately spotted mine and Fifi's belongings placed in front of one of the doors, but much more worryingly soon after noticed one of the other doors was slightly ajar. Tensing up, my mind began to panic as it looked for a viable excuse for my very loud and obnoxious entrance. It quickly became apparent that such actions weren't necessary, however, as the only thing that came rushing out of the room was much smaller than a person.

"Pika?"

I let out a heavy sigh at the sight of the Pikachu, though it still seemed to be on alert as it stared warily at us. For good reason, I suppose…

"Hey, Fi, could you, uh…" I began, always feeling hesitant when I had to ask Fifi to translate my words to other Pokémon for me, knowing how awkward it made her feel to speak in her old language, and how jarring it felt for me to hear her speak it after all this time hearing her speak perfect, American-accented English and reminding me it wasn't her first language.

"Oh, of course." Fifi responded, nodding diligently. Turning to the Pikachu, she took a moment to presumably remember how to say what she needed to, then began to speak to it in her stilted, ill-at-ease native tongue, sounding more like a human trying to speak it rather than it flowing naturally as one would expect coming from a the mouth Pokémon. Nonetheless, the Pikachu seemed to be able to understand her with ease, as its expression quickly softened to one of curiosity, then to understanding as it smiled and nodded to her and then me. As it began to speak back to her, Fifi's face took on a curious tone, which itself turned into one of shock for some reason. Probably not a good one.

"W-Wait a minute, that voice…" she stuttered, quickly realizing she was speaking in English again and shaking her head as she began to question the Pikachu about something. It nodded in response and began to speak to her in an embarrassed tone, shaking its head and looking down. Fifi stuttered something to it, causing it to perk back up, before she turned to me and gave me what could be described nicely as a heavily distressed look.

"Uh, S-Stone…" she muttered, tugging at my sleeve and motioning towards the door that our stuff was piled in front of. Getting her hint, I made my way over to the door, opening it and pushing our crap inside as Fifi made a nervous 'just a sec' motion to the Pikachu, swiftly shutting the door behind us once we were both inside.

"This is going to piss me off, isn't it?" I asked, bracing for the worst.

"Uh… Um… M-Maybe…" she replied, wincing and instantly looking away once she saw my deathly serious expression. "…O-Okay, probably…"

"Fifi…" I began slowly, doing my best to stay level-headed. "…Please don't tell me that I know whose Pikachu that is. I don't recall anyone I particularly hate from school having a Pikachu, but your reaction sure as fuck says otherwise."

"…Um… W-Well…"

" _Fifi_ …"

Fifi's ears fell flat as she looked down sheepishly. "…I… Wouldn't say you _know_ him, but…"

I blinked in confusion as Fifi's sentence disintegrated into nothing. "…What does _that_ mean, Fifi?"

"…It's…"

Before Fifi could do any further hemming and hawing, I heard a door opening in the main room, and she quickly drew silent with a slight 'eep'. As I reached for the doorknob, she promptly pulled my hand back, shaking her head and putting her finger to her lips.

"J-Just a second, Stone…" she whispered, and before I could respond, I heard the Pikachu loudly and happily greet whoever it was that had just came into the room. The voice of the person who responded to it, however, was not at all one I had ever heard before in my life.

"Hey, sorry for taking so long, Pikachu!" the voice said cheerily as it made its way closer to the center of the room where the Pikachu had been. Bright and energetic sounding, it certainly didn't sound like it would belong to anyone that I would ever have to worry about. "Man, I can't believe there's only one bathroom on this floor!" …Shit, _really_? "And why's it gotta be all the way on the other side near the stairs? Talk about rotten luck… But oh well, I…" The voice suddenly trailed off, before speaking back up in a much more urgent tone. "…H-Hey… That stuff that was in front of that other door… W-Wah, Pikachu, don't tell me there's someone else here?!" The Pikachu happily responded in confirmation, causing the voice to hiss back in response, in a much nastier, affected tone… "Damn it, Pikachu! What the hell did I freaking tell you about that?! Are they still here?!"

"Oh, fuck me…" I grumbled, stepping outside into the main room before fucking Edgelord McGillicutty's Pikachu could respond. "Mother _fuck_."

"…Yeah, so much for those 'nearly impossible' odds, Stone…" Fifi muttered.

"…Oh, God damn it, _really_?" Edgy spat back once he realized who he was looking at. "Stuck with a twerp for a roommate for the next half a year… Bah, what a pain…"

"Yeah, thanks for the warm welcome, Edgy." I said, drawing a growl from him.

"That's not my name, twerp."

"It is as long as you keep calling me twerp." I replied, folding my arms and returning his oh-so-pleasant look with one of my own.

"…Feh, whatever." he responded, turning away from me without so much as a second glance.

"Wow, seriously?" I said after a moment, once it was clear he wasn't going to respond any further. "Jeez dude, I know you're all like 'FFFFFFFFUCK FRIENDSHIP' and stuff, but come the fuck on, we're going to be seeing each other depressingly often from here on out for the foreseeable future, can't we at least be on a first name basis, if nothing else?"

Edgy looked at me for a moment, contemplating, before giving me his answer. "…No."

"Oh, God damn it." I said in frustration. "You were _just now_ talking to your Pikachu like a perfectly nice, normal person, don't think I didn't hear that!"

Edgy suddenly froze up, a look of abject horror on his face, before it quickly morphed into one of utter rage. Very forced rage.

"Sh-Shut up, you don't know what you're talking about." he sneered. "I ain't normal, and I sure as hell ain't nice, so don't even get such an idiotic idea in your little twerpy brain there."

As I stared back at Edgy in disdain, his Pikachu began to speak up to Fifi, sounding even more embarrassed than it had earlier.

"Oh, no, it's not your… Er… I-I mean…" Fifi began, again accidentally responding to it in English before correcting herself. As she conversed with it, Edgy stared at her in the typical wide-eyed shock that she elicited upon first encounter, though it seemed more muted than it was for most people, obviously because he was an emotionless husk with no friends and fucking just kill me now aaaaaaaaagh…

"W-What the…?" he said, his voice momentarily slipping back into its assumedly normal, non-I-just-ate-razorblades tone. His Fifi-shock didn't last nearly as long as it usually did, however, and he soon had narrowed his eyes at me. "…She can talk."

I blinked for a moment, before snorting in response to Captain Obvious' assessment. "No, you're _kidding_. I didn't know _that_!"

My sarcasm only seemed to intensify Edgy's gaze. "Shut up, kid. How did you manage to do that?"

I stared back at him in silence, shaking my head and shrugging at him.

"Damn it, you're lying." he spat, getting ready to get up in my face before Fifi smoothly put herself between us without missing a beat in her conversation with the Pikachu. Looking down at her in surprise, then back up at me, his gaze softened, if only slightly, going from ' _I just stepped in Pokémon shit_ ' anger down to ' _I've got swampass_ ' irritation.

"…Look, would you stop messing around and tell me how you taught her how to do that?" he asked in what I assumed was his friendliest Batman voice.

I merely shrugged in response, only answering when it was clear he was slipping back into 'Pokémon shit' territory. "Sorry, I thought you told me to shut up. I was just trying to be polite and respect your wishes."

"Enough kidding around, you idiot!" he snarled, causing Fifi and the Pikachu's pleasant conversation to grind to a halt as they both stared at him. He seemed to shrink a bit with all eyes on him, and I got the feeling I may have pushed him a bit too much, so I sighed and gave him a nod.

"Alright, settle down there, Edgelbert Humperdork." I exclaimed, drawing a huge groan from Fifi.

" _Edgelbert Humperdork_?" she repeated sourly, shaking her head at me.

"Urgh, yeah, you're right, Fi, that one _was_ really forced…" I turned back to Edgy and cringed. "My bad, Edgy."

"God, just… Call me Sat." Edgy replied in disgust.

"Sat?" I repeated, before shrugging my shoulders. "…Alright, whatever. I'll just assume that's short for something like 'Saturday Jones Jr.', because nobody I've met so far has had a normal name, myself included. Stone Hardacre, by the way, and this is Fifi."

"Not even close." Sat answered. "Sat is all you need to know as far as my name goes, and that's Pikachu. People don't really name their Pokémon where I come from, before you decide to say some stupid and painfully unfunny about that. And where I come from is also none of your business."

"…Yeah, no, you're _definitely_ more of an Edgy than a Sat." I said.

"Whatever, I don't care!" Edgy yelled back. "Can't you just answer a simple question?!"

"Well, I mean, I _guess_ , but that depends, why do you want to know so much?" I asked, folding my arms. "People aren't usually so aggressively angry when they ask about Fifi's whole talking thing."

Edgy took a moment to calm himself down before he gave me a response. "…I'm not being aggressive, you're just aggravating me and making it seem that way. I'm just curious about it, that's all. Same as anyone else, I'm sure."

"…Fine, but you have to stop being such a knob." I said. "I mean, I love annoying overly serious people like you, don't get me wrong, but this is going to get old fast. So, I'll tell you about Fifi and stop fucking around if you cut it out with the whole self-professed badass garbage. Deal? Like, _please_?"

Edgy stared at me for a good, long while, before finally relenting, letting out a grunt and speaking to me in his actual voice. "…Yeah, alright. But just know this, I still ain't your friend, and I ain't ever gonna be. Got it?"

"Of course, friendship is gross, get it away from me." I replied with an eyeroll, quickly remembering my side of the deal. "Shit, alright, sorry. Well, there's not much to say, really. Like I've told everyone else, I wasn't the one who taught Fifi how to talk, she did that all on her own. Believe me, I was just as shocked as anyone else when I first heard her speak."

Edgy once again narrowed his eyes at me. "You're saying she just up and decided to teach herself how to talk one day, without any outside prompting or help from you or anyone else?"

I nodded. "Yup. You can ask her yourself, she would know better than I do about it, anyways, for obvious reasons. I mean, assuming she wants to talk to you, she's pretty nervous around people she doesn't know, in case you couldn't tell by how she's glued to me.

As Edgy looked at her expectantly, Fifi glanced up at me and let out a sigh. "Well, if you insist. Full or abridged version, Stone?"

"Why would you even ask that?" I replied, drawing a giggle from her.

"Right, silly me." she said, rolling her eyes and smirking before turning back to Edgy. "Basically, I love Stone lots and lots and wanted to be able to express that to him and everyone else, so I learned how to speak so I could do just that. The end!"

Edgy, along with his Pikachu, both stared at Fifi, Edgy slightly slack-jawed, over how simple her answer was. Edgy, predictably, wasn't satisfied with her response.

"Wait a minute, you're telling me you took the time to learn how to speak another language just so you could tell your trainer how much you liked him?"

"Pretty much, yeah!" Fifi said, smiling brightly back at Edgy. "Stone's not just my trainer, though, he's my best friend! He's the best, and he didn't have many people he trusted enough to talk to or hang out with when we met, so I had to make sure he had _someone_ he could do that kind of stuff with like a normal person besides his family."

"I… See…" Edgy said, much more subdued now, almost as if he was another person. "You're saying you didn't know how to talk at all until you met him though, right?"

"That's right…" Fifi replied, regarding Edgy's question curiously. "Isn't that what I just told you, though? I learned to speak solely for Stone's sake. Well, maybe a _little_ bit for my own sake, too, but mostly for Stone, teehee…"

"…Huh. That's… Nice." Edgy replied, somewhat vacantly. He soon snapped back to full attention, regarding both Fifi and me with a look that might actually be mistaken for an emotion other than anger, had it been anyone else. "…And I mean that, really. That you would put so much time and effort into learning something most Pokémon would never even think of and probably aren't even capable of doing for the sake of your trainer, and on your own volition, at that. I can't imagine how difficult that must have been."

"Oh, no, it really wasn't difficult at all. I don't know why everyone assumes it was." Fifi said with a small sigh. "I mean, I already knew what all the words meant, it was just a matter of learning to pronounce them instead of the normal Pokémon noises that just sound like us repeating our names over and over again to the human ear, and all I did was mimic the way Stone and his family and the people on TV talked, it was easy. Honestly, it's a lot harder for me to speak to other Pokémon now, which I'm sure Pikachu can definitely attest to. Once I learned English, I started hearing my normal language in a weird mix of how I always heard it and how people hear it. It's a really weird, self-consciously awkward feeling when you realize you're technically just repeating your name over and over and over again. It was much harder learning how to read and write, but Stone helped me with those things, and once I got down the basics they were pretty simple, too."

Edgy shook his head, seemingly at a loss for words. "Dang… That's… What kind of Pokéball did you catch her with?"

I scratched my head in confusion for a moment at the odd question, before giving him a shrug. "Oh, er, some stupid girly pink one with hearts all over it." I said in slight embarrassment, drawing Fifi's ire. "Fifi picked it out, I was going to just use a regular Pokéball since she's literally never, ever once been in it other than the ten seconds or so she was in it while she got 'captured' and registered to it, but she insisted on it, and, well, there went half a year's allowance on that imported piece of crap."

"Hey, my Pokéball isn't stupid!" Fifi huffed, hands on her hips. "That's the symbol of our bond you're insulting! And besides, It was only so expensive because it's a very special kind of Pokéball, you know that!"

"Uh, y-yeah, Fi, I know…" I said, knowing full well why it was so 'special'. "…You know that's not the way it works, though. You totally misconstrued what the guy at the shop said."

"Think whatever you want, master~." she replied in that annoying sing-songy tone that meant there was no chance of changing her mind on the subject.

"Yeah, whatever, Fi…" I muttered, before turning back to Edgy. "Uh, why do you ask, though?"

"…No particular reason." he stated.

I very quickly shook my head in objection. "Uh, no, that's bullshit, people don't ask questions for no reason."

Sighing heavily, Edgy's expression went back to its normal condescending state. "Okay, I was trying to be nice. What I really meant was, no particular reason that you would understand in the slightest."

I rolled my eyes in annoyance. "Gee, thanks ever so much for sparing my delicate little feelings. But uh, I know enough about Pokeballs to realize what the microchips inside them do, dummy. They teach that shit in grade school, you know. Fifi already understood and spoke English way before I got around to registering her, I didn't actually officially 'catch' her until a couple years ago, she'd been with me for years before that."

"What?" Edgy asked, seemingly taken aback by this revelation. His gaze immediately went back to Fifi. "Where did you live before you two met? Were you a wild Pokémon, or were you bred?"

Fifi instantly tensed up, the same way she always did when anyone asked about her life before we met. That… Was a sensitive subject for her, one she was guarded towards even with me, though to be fair, I hadn't ever really made much of an attempt to ask her about it myself. She had told me bits and pieces over the years, and I'm sure she would tell me everything if I actually were to ask her about it up front, but it was obviously something she took no joy in remembering, and so I've never had a desire to ask. And, honestly, just from how I 'met' her alone, I don't think I ever will have a desire to ask, I get too pissed off just thinking about _that_ as it is, I'm not really sure I want to know what she had to go through before that… Regardless, I was about to speak for her as I usually did when the subject came up, but to my surprise, she managed to eke out her own answer to him.

"…I… Don't know. I try not to think about it." she replied softly. "My life before I met Stone was… Unpleasant."

"…Alright. Don't worry about it, in that case." Edgy said after a moment. "Sorry for prying."

"It's okay…" Fifi said, her smile quickly returning. "I've been as happy as a girl can be since then, 'cause it's something I'll never ever have to worry or think about ever again, thanks to Stone."

"Right…" Edgy said, setting his gaze upon me once again. "…Look, I know you probably think I ask too many questions…"

I shrugged. "Not really, me and Fifi are more than used to that. I'm just surprised you've been willing to talk to us at all, I was beginning to think you really _were_ a psychopath."

"Yeah, well, don't get used to it." he said gruffly, attempting to go back to his 'cool' voice and nearly hacking his lungs up in the process. His Pikachu didn't seem too concerned, so eh. "…Urk. Regardless, I can see that you and your Pokémon truly do care deeply for one another, which is good. As previously mentioned, you should trust no one else _but_ her, she's the only one that's going to stick by your side when the going gets _really_ rough. Trust me on this. Those other so-called friends of yours, definitely not. Snakes in the grass, that's what THEY are. Liars. Deceivers. Absolute scum."

"Ah, joy, _this_ shit again." I said dryly as Edgy began to launch into another anti-friendship tirade. "Right, well, I'll keep that in mind, Edgy."

"…Sat."

"Right, that's what I said."

"…You know, in a way, I really do feel sorry for you, kid." Edgy said, shaking his head.

"You know, it's _really_ weird to call someone your own age 'kid', can't we just go back to 'twerp'?" I said, which he completely no-sold. "…Ugh, okay, _fine_ , why do you feel sorry for me, _senpai_? Because I'm stupid enough to want more than one friend?"

He shook his head. "Nah, I'm sorry that there's nothing I can say or do to steer you away from the path that I stumbled down myself, the same path that drove me to utter ruin as a person, with only my Pokémon left for me to trust. All I suggest is that you heed my advice, and stick with your Pokémon above anyone and everyone else, no matter how easy it may seem to do otherwise. Whether you listen to me or not, that's up to you, but I already know that you won't." Edgy proceeded to stare intently at me, as if he had just told me something so important that my life depended on it.

"…I liked you way more when you weren't acting stupidly melodramatic. Can you go back to that, please?"

I of course blew him off completely because it was obvious that he was back to being a totally batshit fucking insane lunatic.

"No, that was obviously a mistake." he responded. "Now, if you'll excuse me, Pikachu and I have more important things to do than stand around and babble with someone who has no intention of listening to a word I say."

"Hey, I was listening just fine up until you started saying all that weird shit again." I stated. "And as far as _that_ shit goes, you don't have to worry about me in that regard, I place Fifi above everyone else already, nobody's going to come between us or be more important to me than her, so whatever doom and gloom you see in my future, it's wrong."

"…Heh, we'll see how true that turns out to be." was all he replied with.

"…Okay." I said awkwardly, eager to move on and get him off that damn topic. "So anyways, uh, I realize we both seem to annoy the hell out of each other, and you obviously don't want to be, heaven forbid, _friends_ , but can we at least agree to stay on speaking terms as long as we're roommates? Pretty please?"

"Yeah, sure." he said, agreeing surprisingly easily. "Just don't bug me unless it's something important, and I'll give you the same courtesy. Now, if you'll excuse me, for real, this time." Tipping his cap in farewell, Edgy departed for his room, his Pikachu following close behind, after it had finished saying bye to Fifi and me. I soon followed suit, leading Fifi to our own room, where I wasted no time in sprawling out on the surprisingly spacious bed, Fifi plopping down right beside me.

"Man oh man, what a weird fucking day…" I groaned into my pillow, Fifi giggling as she sidled right up next to me, to the point where our noses were touching as I turned around to face her. "F-Feefs, please, personal space…"

"S-Sorry…" she said softly, pushing herself gently away from me, though not as much as I would have liked. "But hey, you shouldn't be surprised, right?"

"About what…?" I asked warily. I mean, jeez, Fi, I know you like being near me, but this is a little too much-

"About having such a ' _weird fucking day'_ , silly, what else?" she answered with another giggle. Oh, right… Haha… I'm a dumbass… "I mean, you said it yourself, you're a magnet for this kind of stuff, master."

"Right…" I muttered, shaking my head back into my pillow. I hadn't realized just how exhausted I was until just then… But there was still so much to do… Augh, I just wanted to take a little nap… But Clary would never forgive me if I missed going to that stupid tournament tonight to meet her friends… Bah…

"…Are you alright, master?" Fifi asked, picking up on my less than enthused body language.

"…Yeah, just tired, Fi." I said, smiling and giving her a squeeze.

"Ah." she said, though a frown soon made its way to her face. "Hey, that reminds me though, what were you upset about earlier?"

"Huh?" I asked, knowing instantly what she was alluding to, but feigning ignorance regardless, because fuuuuuck I don't want to have that conversation with her again just so she can tell me I'm awesome and she believes in me and all that goopy crap…

"You know, right after we left the auditorium and you so rudely woke me up." she prodded with a cheeky little smile. "What's-Her-Face asked you if you were okay, and you lied to her and said you were."

"Oh… That?" I said, groaning inwardly at her ease of remembering all the things I don't want her to. "That was nothing, Fi,"

"No, Stone, you can't lie to _me_ , silly." she said calmly, stating the obvious. "I'm not as oblivious as Clary, you know. Please, tell me. Even if you think it's nothing, I want to help if I can."

Augh, Fi… "…Look, it's stupid Fi, really. It's not worth your time or mine."

"Is this about your self-loathing perceived lack of skill again?" she asked immediately. Taking my non-answer as the 'yes' it was, she let out a sigh. "Come on already, Stone, how many times do I have to build you back up? Why can't you just believe in yourself like I do?"

"Because, I…" I bit my lip. I couldn't believe I was having this conversation again, what was _wrong_ with me…?

"Stone, you're not a loser."

…Shut up, Fifi, you don't know anything.

"Don't turn away from me, Stone!"

God damn it, Fifi, just…

"I'm not going to leave you alone, so don't even ask."

…Fucking damn it! "Fine, what is it you want me to say, Fifi? No, I _don't_ have any confidence in myself, why _would_ I?! I almost let you get taken away from me because, what a surprise, we aren't anywhere NEAR strong enough to be here! And it's not your fault, it's mine because I never trained you enough, and then I just assumed we would be fine and everyone would be on our skill level, but holy fucking shit, not at all! You didn't see that fucking video the professor played, did you? That was fucking BRUTAL, Fifi! How the fuck… How the fuck do you expect to be able to stand up to shit like that, you can't! You're horribly outleveled by all these assholes, and I'm horribly incompetent, it'll be just like that asshole said, you're just going to be getting knocked out over and over and over and over again, and I… I can't… I'm not going to allow that to happen… I won't let you get hurt, Fifi."

"Stone…" Fifi began, tugging at my arm to try and get me to turn back around towards her. Failing that, she let out a huff, and began to climb on top of me, forcing me to turn over so that she was sitting bowlegged on my waist, which was only slightly better than on my chest because at least this time I could still breathe a bit. She smiled down at me in her usual carefree way, while I stared in annoyance back up at her. "I can be aggravating too, you know. Remember, I learned from the absolute best, along with the absolute best's siblings. But now, look at me, and tell me, do I look worried or stressed out in any way? Do you think I give two craps about _any_ of that, Stone? No, I don't, because I have no reason to. Of course I'm going to be getting knocked out over and over and over again, silly. You're not some perfect, infallible trainer with flawless strategies, and neither am I an unstoppable beast. I mean, heck, I'm not even fully evolved yet, but hey, neither is Edgy's Pikachu. Did either of them look worried in any way?"

"…I couldn't really tell under all of his smugness, and I can't read Pokémotions very well…" I said, causing Fifi to screw up her face.

"Oh my God Stone, never say Pokémotions ever again." she exclaimed, unable to keep herself from snorting at the sheer awfulness of it regardless. "But the answer is no, Stone, they obviously weren't worried about such stupid things. And you shouldn't be, either. And you know why? Because you have no reason to be, you're not here to become the school champion, or win battle after battle, you're here to improve as a trainer, just like Flint did. He wasn't very good either before he came to LeMasters, remember? But now I can't even scratch a single one of his Pokémon, and he utterly destroys everyone else in town too, because he improved himself as a trainer. But you can't improve at all if you just give up, and that's not going to make me happy, either. After all, how am I supposed to keep you safe if I never grow stronger because you're afraid of letting me get knocked out? Eventually, I'll get stronger and evolve, and then I'll stop getting knocked out, and you won't have to worry about that anymore. But only if you don't chicken out. And I know you won't do that, because you're not a chicken, Stone, you're as far away from that as possible, you're brave and courageous and-"

"O-Okay, okay, enough already Fi, I get your point." I said, unable to take any more of her overly kind, completely false words.

"Good." she said, leaning forwards towards me and giving me that sweet, tender smile that she saved for me and me alone. The kind of smile that you only give to… The one you truly love.

… _Fuck_ … What am I thinking… She doesn't know any better… That's all… It's nothing more…

"…Just remember, Stone. You'll always be my champion, no matter what anyone else says or thinks. Even if you never become any other kind of champion, that will never change. Not now, not ever."

…S-Shit… Th-This is…

"…I know you don't care…" she whispered, her face drawing close enough to mine that I could feel her hot, heavy breath mixing in with my own. She stopped there, however, staring deep into my eyes with her own wet, heavily-lidded ones. I could feel her every breath as she was nearly laying on my chest by this point. We… We were… Breathing in sync again… Heavy, ragged, nearly gasping, but… Perfectly in sync with one another. She continued to just stare for the longest time, and I could see in her eyes… This wasn't platonic… Not even close… This was real… This was true… This was…

This… This was…

…W-Wrong…

I… This can't… I have to…

I shifted my head back ever so slightly, letting out a short, ragged gasp, unable to really do much else, my whole body having gone numb some time ago. For just the most fleeting of moments, I saw something else flash in Fifi's eyes before she shut them tight and pushed herself back, laying her head gently on my chest so that I could no longer see her face.

"…Like I was saying… I know you don't care, Stone… But… I hope I managed to help you feel good about yourself… That's all I want…"

…No… That's not… That's not true, Fifi… I know what you truly want…

…I'm sorry I can't give it to you.

…

 _Anything to make you happy, Fi…_

 _Anything…_

 _Anything except the one thing you really want._

…

I placed my hands gently on her head and back, unsure of what else to do with them.

"…Y-Yeah, Fi, th-thank you… I feel… M-Much better now… Thanks to you…"

"Of course… Anything for you, master…"

…

…I want to fucking die.

* * *

A/N: Why, yes, I am a big enough dick to leave off on this delightfully positive and upbeat note. Hey, on the plus side, I was planning on the next chapter to be part of this one before it ballooned past my 10,000 word per chapter cap, so it _might_ be out sooner rather than later! But I mean, don't count on it. Hopefully it won't take another half a year for a third time, I can't imagine it will. Anyways, I literally just spent the entirely of my one off day writing about 80% of this chapter, like, fifteen fucking hours now. So, that being said, apologies for any particularly shitty writing this chapter, since this is going to be going up with just one editing session and no fresh eyes to make sure any scene doesn't look super weird or fuckawful. But I have work in the morning and don't know when I'll have time to upload this again, and I think I've kept you all waiting long enough as it is.

Also, though, I am definitely going to crosspost this over to AO3 sometime this week for preservation reasons, so anyone with an account over there, be on the lookout to bookmark it in case this goes poof on this site in the future.

Also also, someone made a TvTropes page for this, apparently! Whoever that was, thanks, that's flattering!

Also also also, I need to fucking sleep, Jesus Christ. Have a good night/morning/day, peeps~


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: What's this, an update that didn't even take a full month since the last one? I know, I'm shocked too! Not so shocked that I somehow managed to let another chapter balloon in size to the point where I'm having to split it in two, but eh, what can I say, I love dialogue. Many thanks as always to those who have reviewed, favorited, followed, and the like, I'm sure I'll disappoint you all soon enough.

And to painfulldarksoul, uh... Ash? *shifty eyes* Ash who? That's not Ash, that's... Original character do not steal, Saturday Jones Jr.! Definitely not Ash, nosireebob... _Huehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehue..._ (Though on this topic, since I'm awkwardly mixing media canons, I should probably point out that Surge isn't actually the ten foot tall version here, it's... Complicated. It'll all make sense in the end, though!)

Anyways I don't feel like rambling for once so uh, enjoy.

* * *

"Hey, Stone."

"…Mnagh…?"

"Stone, come on, wake up!"

"…Fafmphgumf…"

"…Seriously, Stone? Twice in one day? Geez Louise…"

Under any other circumstances, I would have been more than prepared to give my master another Wake-Up Slap, because God knows if I didn't, he would sleep through the apocalypse. But at that moment, the sight of his blissfully slumbering form gave me pause. It had been a hectic, stress-filled day for him, and I could tell just from how easily he had passed out that it had taken a lot out of him already. I… Definitely hadn't helped matters in that regard. It didn't seem fair to deprive him of the rest that he so clearly needed, but… I had made a real mess of things, and I had to act swiftly before my conscience got the better of me. Sorry, master…

* _SMACK_ *

"GAH, FUCK!" he yelled, instantly rising out of bed to rub the stinging in his cheek, groaning and giving me a dirty look in the process. "Fifi, why do you have to keep…" His sentence quickly trailed off as he got his bearings, and I could see panic begin to set in his eyes as he looked around and realized where he was.

"Don't worry, I don't think you've missed anything, your phone only just now started blowing up with notifications." I explained, before giving him a look of regret. "Sorry, I would've let you rest otherwise, I know you must be exhausted."

"Nah, don't worry about it, Fi." he replied with a smile, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and reaching out to pat my head. His hand suddenly stopped and recoiled as it drew near, however, his eyes going wide and a look of mortified realization overtaking him. "…Sh-Shit… Fi… I… L-Look, about that… That… Stuff that we… That you… Uh… F-Fuck… I… I didn't mean to… To… G-Gah, God damn it, I…"

I cocked my head to the side curiously. "Huh? What are you stuttering about, Stone?"

Rather than respond, Stone's breath seemed to get caught in his throat, and he instead proceeded to look me dead in the eyes, staring into them with a look that was both wracked with guilt and filled with utter confusion. After a good, long moment of us just staring at each other in bewilderment, he shook his head and finally began to speak; slowly, deliberately, as if he had to fight himself just to allow the words to escape from his lips. "…Y-You know, Fi… Before I fell asleep… After you… You gave me that speech about not worrying about being a champion, because I'm… I'm already… Just… Look, I didn't mean to… I wasn't expecting you to… Th-That is… I-I mean… Shit, l-look, I don't know how to… Gah, fuck… I'm sorry, Fi, I'm so, so sorry…"

"…What…?" I said, shaking my head and giving him a bemused smirk. "Stone, what on Earth are you _talking_ about? You passed out the moment your head hit the pillow. The only thing you said was 'what a weird fucking day', and then you were out like a light. I ended up spending like a minute telling you all about how much of a polar opposite Edgy's Pikachu was to him before I realized I was talking to myself. It's nice to know that you're always thinking about me, though, even in your dreams, teehee."

Stone continued to just stare in stunned, dumbstruck silence, only stirring when his phone began to buzz and chime incessantly for a second wave. Pulling it out of his pocket, he focused his attention on it for a minute, typing out a reply that brought a third wave of annoying noises in response. Once his phone finally shut up, he turned his attention back to me, and after another short moment of silence, let out a massive breath that he seemed to have been holding in the entire time.

"…Is everything alright, master?" I asked, unable to handle his silence any longer. "I'm starting to worry that I may have slapped you a little _too_ hard…"

Grinning, Stone shook his head and let out a laugh. "Nah… Everything's fine, Fi. Great, even."

"Are you sure?" I said, frowning a little. "You seemed… Pretty distressed by whatever is was you were dreaming about…"

He nodded, tussling my hair. "Yeah, I'm good Fi, don't worry. You know how fucked up my dreams can get, and that one was just… Really vivid… But it's fine, you're not…" He stopped and looked at me for a second, before pulling me into a hug, squeezing me tight the way he only ever did when he was really worried about me. "I didn't actually make you miserable, so yeah, everything is awesome."

"O-Okay…" I said, once he had let go. "I can't imagine what you were dreaming about, but…" I put on an overly cute smile for him. "Whatever it was, you don't have to worry about it, you know you could never make me miserable, master!"

Stone's face seemed to falter for a moment, but his own smile quickly returned as he stood up and put his hat back on. "Yeah, I know, Fi. You don't know how thankful I am for that." I nodded back, and as he turned to stretch and yawn, I was finally able to breathe my own internal sigh of relief. I couldn't show it, though, as he quickly turned back around and motioned me towards the door. "Hey, but, I guess we should probably be getting a move on, Clary's sent me about a hundred texts telling me she's on her way to the meet up area and detailing everything about it so I don't get lost, so we should probably try to get there as early as possible to account for all the time I'll lose us when I get us lost. So, last chance, are you sure you want to come? I'm guessing the whole school's gonna be there, so it's probably going to be super crowded and loud as fuck, plus who knows how long it's going to last."

I nodded without hesitation. "Of course. You know I'm fine as long as I'm with you, master."

"Well, alright, if you're sure…" he replied, a sudden look of urgency spreading across his face. "Hey, uh, I gotta go take a leak first, though. I'm gonna ask Edgy if he can show me where the bathrooms are so I don't wind up in the sewers trying to find them myself, so I shouldn't be too long. Hopefully…"

"Alrighty." I said, nodding to him as he exited the room. As soon as he shut the door, I leaned back against the bed and collapsed to the floor, letting out what was probably the biggest, longest sigh of my life. That… Was _way_ too close…

…God, what was I _thinking_ …? Why would I ever think something so stupid and idiotic would work…?

 _Well, it was worth a try, wasn't it?_

God, no, no it wasn't… I… I definitely overstepped my boundaries… I shouldn't have done that… I… I almost ruined everything… God damn it, how could I be such an idiot?! How else would I expect him to react to that?

 _It could have been worse! I'm the one that pulled away, he didn't really react at all…_

Yeah, because he wasn't expecting me to do something so incredibly stupid! I'm… Overthinking his words again… He can call me special and precious and more important than anyone else all he wants, but of course he doesn't mean them _that_ way, and I _know_ that. Why can I not get that through my head? I'm just… His Pokémon… That's all he sees me as, it doesn't matter what I say or do… I can't change that…

 _But I don't know that!_

Yes I do… I don't know why I keep trying to convince myself otherwise. So, so stupid… All I end up doing is embarrassing and upsetting him…

 _But… I love him. I love him more than anything else in the world, don't I?_

…Of course I do. How could I not, after everything he's done for me? He literally saved my life… And ruined his own in the process. He went out of his way to rehabilitate me, to make sure I was comfortable and happy, and helped me be able to trust people again. He sacrificed what little he had to make me happy… And he's been doing that ever since. He almost always puts me first before himself or anyone else, even when it's to his detriment. So many times, I know he missed out on things because he didn't want me to be alone or feel left out. Things that his brother and sister didn't, because their Pokémon don't mind staying in their Pokéballs and letting their trainers live their own lives. Things that his parents get mad at him about because they don't understand why he'd rather stay by my side instead of going out and having fun and making friends and hanging out with anyone else besides me or his siblings. I… Don't really understand it either, it makes me feel so selfish sometimes when I realize how little I've done for him in return… That's why I devote myself to him, why I give him all the love in my heart, the only thing I have that could even come close to repaying him for everything he's done for me, for all the love and happiness that he's given me.

But, his love, it's…

Not the same kind of love.

It's not the kind of love that I feel for him.

The kind that I'm…

Not supposed to feel for him.

I'm supposed to only feel that way towards other Pokémon, to want that kind of a relationship with my own trainer is… It's wrong… It's sick, and disgusting… But… I don't know why it's any of those things. I don't understand why I'm not allowed to have these feelings for him. He makes me happier than anything else, just being near him sets my heart ablaze, all I want is to be able to be by his side forever, to be… To be his wife… I don't care about other Pokémon, or other humans for that matter, just… Him. And… I don't care what anyone else thinks, my love for him is normal… There's nothing wrong with it. Why should I feel bad about it? He's my true love, he's everything I could ever want in a mate, nobody, certainly not another Pokémon, could ever come close to him in my eyes or in my heart. I'll never have this kind of bond with anyone else…

 _Then… There's no way I can give up hope!_

…No, I can't…

And I won't.

I'd be a hypocrite if I gave up on my own dreams now after all the times I've told Stone not to give up on his… Somehow, someway… I'll find a way. I'll figure out the right thing to say or do to get him to see me the way I see him. I've been trying so hard to show him how much I care for him, but… I think I may have gotten a little too brazen… I have to start being more subtle, and… Not so clingy… No more hand holding, no more gushing declarations of love… He always thinks I'm just fooling around anyways…

…Ah, if only it were that simple… But… I have to try… No matter how difficult it may be… If I show him I can be independent like he wants me to be, maybe then he'll realize how serious I am when I tell him those things, and that I'm saying them as his friend, not his Pokémon. I just have to wait until the time is right next time, and not give in to anymore of my…

U-Urges…

Hngh… Fuck…

 _I was so close, though… His breath was my own… Why did I have to chicken out over the slightest twitch…? He might've… Hah… A-Ah…_

N-No… I… I can't be doing this right now… Stone's going to be back any minute…

 _G-Good… Let him… See me in all my glory… H-Hahh…_

No! H-He'll hate me forever…!

 _Ahh… Stone l-loves me though… H-He would never…_

Nyagh… S-Stone…

 _Y-Yes… Master… Loves his… P-Precious Fifi… I l-love you too, master…!_

"M-Master…"

 _I love you s-so much, master! Hah… Hahhh… S-So… So much…!_

I… I need… A- _Ahhh…!_

 _I need you, master! P-Please…! L-Let me… K-Kyahhh…!_

I… I can't… H-Hold it anymore…! Stone…! **STONE** _ **…**_ **!**

 _Y-YES…! M-MASTER…! I…! I…!_ _ **I…!**_

… _ **AHHHH!**_

…

… _D-Damn it_ … _Not again…_

I had had to bite my hand so hard just to keep from screaming, I could already taste the blood seeping into my mouth… Meanwhile, my other hand was coated in my juices, trickling down my finger and leaving a huge damp spot in what had probably been brand new carpeting right in front of Stone's bed. And of course, as if on cue, I could hear the door in the common area opening, Stone's voice ringing out clear as day as he made his way closer and closer to discovering me in the worst fucking state imaginable. I scrambled to my feet, wiping both of my hands off in haste on the bed sheets and using the edge of them to try and dry my now wet and dripping privates as best I could. Stupid fur, stop sticking! Fuck, _fuck_ , _**FU**_ _-_

"Hey Fi, sorry for taking so lo-"

"A-AH! M-Master!"

"…Fifi… Do I… Even _want_ to know what you're doing…?"

I stared back at Stone, blinking furiously as my mind tried to formulate a valid reason for why I was tangled up on the floor in a mess of bedding. Not wanting to hesitate, I blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"…No."

"…Yeah, I didn't think so." he replied, shaking his head before coming over and reaching his hand out to help me up. "We can worry about cleaning up this mess later, though. You ready to go?"

Nodding up at him, I instinctively reached up to grab his hand, only to immediately yank it back once I realized that it was still moist from my… Leakage. Stone, predictably, gave me a baffled look, though it soon morphed into annoyance.

"Ah, geez, Fi, I didn't forget to wash my hands, come on." he proclaimed, scoffing as he impatiently jutted his hand out even further. Panicking, I hastily reached back up, this time with the sheet safely wrapped around my hand to protect his from my filth.

"Ugh, seriously, Fi?" he said once I was on my feet.

"…Better to be safe than sorry, teehee~!" I replied after a moment's thought, clasping my hands together in front of my crotch to hide both and giving him my most annoying smile to help drive it home.

God, I'm not _that_ disgusting!" he said defensively, his voice trailing off into mumbles as he shook his head in annoyance. Yeah, I wish I could say the same, master… E-Er, regardless, it didn't take him long to get over it. "Well, whatever, are you ready to go, at least?"

I took a deep breath, then nodded. No more reservations, Fifi… "…Yeah, are you?"

Stone let out a little grumble before shrugging. "Eh, I guess. I'd just as soon stay here and crash for the night, but I don't want Clary or Coby to think I'm a shut-in or anything… I'm sorry Fi, I'll try not to make a habit of going to these kinds of things, but something tells me I won't be having much of a choice…"

I quickly shook my head at his suggestion. "N-No, don't worry about that, master. You're here for your sake, not mine. Besides, the more I have to do this stuff, the better, I can't get rid of my anxiety if I don't put in the effort, silly."

Stone looked at me in surprise for a moment, before quickly returning my smile. "Aw, Fi. Proud of you. But just remember, one step at a time, alright? I don't want you to think you have to try and be super independent immediately, if you still need to hold my hand or whatever, go ahead. Really, it's clean, I swear."

"Thank you, master." I replied, nodding happily. So long as he won't get mad… But no, not unless absolutely necessary, Fifi…

"Nah, thank _you_ , Fi." Stone said, before making his way over to the doorway. "So, you ready to get this shitshow on the road?"

"Yeah, let's go!" I responded, my excitement not _completely_ false, as I followed my master out the door. Before we exited the main room into the hallway, Stone stopped to speak to Edgy, who gave him his usual look of contempt.

"Hey, so, I know you don't want to be friends or anything, but are you sure you don't want to-"

"No. Buzz off, twerp."

"Right. Silly me. Let's go, Feefs."

" _Sorry, we're still planning on going, just… Ugh, alone, like usual…_ " Pikachu said to me as we passed by on our way out. " _But maybe we'll see you guys there!_ "

I nodded and gave him a smile. " _Okay, I'll keep an eye out for you, then!_ " With a wave, I closed the door behind us, then looked up at Stone expectantly as he pulled out his phone. I couldn't resist teasing him as he fumbled about with it. "So, how many hours 'til we reach our destination, o' great navigator?"

"Shut up, you." grumbled Stone in response. "Clary's sent me pinpoint directions, I don't think even _I_ can fuck up with this much information. And yes, I am aware I've already said something similar twice so far today and was wrong both times. You know what they say about the third time being the charm though, that totally overwrites that whole 'tempting fate' crap. _Any further questions_?"

I shook my head, taking care to hide my smirk from him. "Nope. Flawless logic as usual, master."

* * *

"So, hey, Stone, remember when you asked me if I had any questions-"

"DON'T. _EVEN_."

I let out a snicker of delight, Stone's reaction much better than I had hoped. We ambled outside the school's onsite stadium, along with Coby and Mew, the stars twinkling dimly above our heads as students and their Pokémon filed in around us, most in much more of a rush to get in than we were. Thankfully, Stone had only spent twenty minutes following Clary's 'pinpoint' directions before opening his map app and using it to lead us right to our destination, so we weren't actually late, for once. Still, I could never turn down an opportunity to see that adorably exaggerated face Stone made whenever his navigation skills were questioned.

"Okay, okay." I said. "I was just going to ask where Clary and her dumb friends are. Surely we didn't beat them here?"

"Haha, of course not." Stone replied. "I just figured it'd be better to meet up with Coby first to make sure he even _wanted_ to come with us before we tried to find them, because when Clary gets excited about something she gets… Well, you guys saw her… She said they'd be waiting in the entrance lobby, so I guess brace yourselves for a mountain of 'oh my Gods' and 'EEEEEEEEEs'."

"Lovely…" I muttered, my ears twitching at the mere thought of having to endure more of her ungodly screeching.

"She sure seemed to change her tune about this whole tournament in a hurry, alright." Coby chuckled, prompting an annoyed sigh from Stone.

"She probably doesn't even care about this dumb tournament, she just wants me to meet her dumb friends…" he said, quickly amending himself. "I mean, her uh, regular, not dumb friends. Probably not dumb. Hopefully."

"You don't really sound too thrilled to meet them…" Coby stated, Stone's demeanor making that all too obvious.

"Eh…" he began, looking conflicted. "It's not that I don't want to meet them, it's just… It's been so, _so_ long since I've seen Clary, I figured I'd have a chance to be able to hang out with her like we used to, but… Well, I guess it was pretty stupid to think she wouldn't have a new circle of friends by now."

"Ah…" Coby said, frowning. "I wouldn't know much about that, I never really had any friends growing up other than Mew thanks to my… Living situation. But um, I don't think you should have anything to worry about, she's obviously happy to see you, and I'm sure she's talked you up like crazy to them."

"Yeah, I mean, surely she sees you the same way you see her, right?" I added, prompting an odd look from Stone. "You can't just forget someone you think of as a brother, silly."

Stone's eyes bulged for a moment, though his face quickly relaxed as he let out a laugh. "H-Haha, yeah, you guys are right, I know. I'm just… Eh, nevermind. You both ready to head in?"

With nods from me and Coby, we all began to make our way through the stadium's main opening, entering into a big, dim, expansive area that reminded me more of a movie theater's lobby than what I had been expecting. Though, to be fair, the only stadium I had ever been to prior was nearly a hundred years old, so I guess I didn't have much experience to draw from there. Regardless, there were entirely too many people there for my liking, so keeping myself unattached from Stone in some way was looking more and more daunting by the second…

"Alright, well, here we are, now for the fun part." Stone said, as he and Coby scanned the lobby for any sign of Clary amongst the rush of students and Pokémon that continued to pour in around us. Proving impossible in the poorly lit surroundings, Stone opted to pull out his phone and-

" _ **EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE**_ , OH MY GOD, THERE YOU ARE!"

I nearly jumped out of my fur at Clary's unexpected 'greeting', the sound of which sent me scrambling to Stone's side in an instant and caused both of us to yelp in reaction as she came rushing up from out of nowhere, nearly blindsiding Stone in the process.

"J-Jesus, Clare, you just about made me and Fifi shit ourselves." Stone exclaimed, clutching his chest with his free hand as he caught his breath from the unanticipated shock.

"Aw, whoops, I forgot you were so skittish." Clary said in response, letting loose another one of her ear-rending cackles. "Sorry, I'm just… So excited!" As Clary hopped in place and eeee'd, a small group of people began to make their way towards us from the direction she had come from, and she quickly began to beckon them over once she caught sight of them. "Look, guys! Over here! Here he is! This is my dear, dear childhood friend, Stone! And this is his Braixen, Fifi, and our other new friend, Coby!"

As the group got closer, I could make out that it was (thankfully only) three other people, two guys and a girl. As they eyed Stone, I realized I was still clutching his hand, and quickly separated myself from him as discreetly as possible, not wanting their first impression of him to be so… Embarrassing. Stone looked as if he was going to say something to me in response, but one of the guys spoke up first.

"Ha, so, this is the famous Stone Hardacre, huh?" the boy, who looked like one of the impossibly perfect students featured on the school's website, said, smirking and folding his arms as he looked from Stone to me and back. "Clare's told us a lot about you, y'know. I don't think I've ever seen her so excited before, and that's saying something."

"O-Oh, uh, h-heh… That's…" Stone stuttered, looking nervously at the boy and laughing in that hopelessly endearing way of his. Though, I doubt anyone besides myself would describe it as such…

"That's an… _Interesting_ name you've got, if I may be so bold." the girl chimed in, not giving Stone a chance to say anything coherent.

"Yeah, that shit's metal as _fuck_ , yo!" added the other boy, who made a 'rock on' motion with his fist, bumping into the girl and nearly knocking her glasses off in the process. She didn't seem too pleased, needless to say.

"My gosh, Bort, a little more tact, please." she said in a huff, giving the much larger boy the stink eye, under which he seemed to wilt.

"Gah, shit, my b, Tippi." Bort said, somehow coming off even more sheepishly than Stone was.

" _Language_ , Bort." Tippi chided, causing Bort to shrink even further, to the point he was nearly at eye level with her.

"Ah, c-crap, no, I-I didn't mean to-" Bort began to blubber, before the other boy coolly interjected, stepping in between the two of them.

"Chill, Tippi, no need to chew poor Bort out in front of strangers." he said, patting Bort on the back. "Besides, I doubt the guy's going to be too offended by a little salty language."

Clary immediately let out a snort. "Pfeh, Sailor-Tongue Stone, offended by cussing? Ha! That's a good one. Bort's an innocent young choirboy compared to Prince Pottymouth over here."

"Prince Pottymouth? Shit, Clare, I don't…" Stone began, stopping himself too late as Clary let out another guffaw in response. "…Fucking damn it…"

"Ah, how… Charming." Tippi said dryly, the only one of the group that hadn't let out some form of laughter at Stone's snafu.

"Ha, oh man, I like this dude already." Bort said, grinning ear to ear like one of those stupid crying emojis.

Stone, in his good nature, laughed along with them, but I could tell he was starting to feel uncomfortable. I wanted to speak up, but… I would have only ended up making things worse… Hngh… Why did I have to be so useless around strangers…?

"See? I told you guys you would love him!" Clary said, going over to Stone and wrapping her arm around him to give him a… Friendly squeeze. Which was fine. Nothing to get worked up over.

…

… _Hmph_.

…

…God, why was I being so stupid again? Stone's allowed to have female friends, I need to stop being so awful and selfish… I promised him I would. No more of this stupid jealous crap, Fifi. Especially over someone he sees as a sibling, geez…

"Of course, Clare. Did any of us ever say we wouldn't?" the still nameless boy said with a small laugh. "Anyone who has the good sense to be your friend is obviously someone worth knowing." Turning from Clary to Stone, the boy extended his hand. "The name's Axel, Axel Fortune. The big guy's Bort Sloboda, and Miss Manners there is better known as Tippi Sweatlodge. Great to finally meet you, Stone."

"Uh, y-yeah, likewise…" said Stone, accepting Axel's handshake, his nervousness gradually seeming to fade as the others returned his gesture in kind, each of them eager to introduce themselves to him. Once they were finished, Axel walked back up to Stone and grinned, his gaze soon shifting over to me, causing me to squirm behind Stone until he was looking at him again instead.

"Heh, so, Clare says that Braixen of yours is pretty special." said Axel. I groaned into Stone's pant leg at his utterance of one of my least favorite words. "Some crazy talk about him being able to talk, or something?"

'Him'?

' _ **HIM'?!**_

I stepped out from behind Stone in an instant, glowering up at Axel. "Okay, first off, I'm a _girl_ , let's get that straight. Secondly, I-"

"EEEEEEEEEEEE, see, see?!" Clary squealed, sticking her finger in Axel's face before I could really give him a piece of my mind. " _Told_ you I wasn't lying, you big dummy!"

Axel's reaction was minimal, merely shrugging and smirking as opposed to the more expected oohs and ahhs of his other friends. "Well, I'll be damned. I _thought_ that was a weird thing for you to make up, Clare, but I figured you just wanted to make your friend sound cool. No offense, of course."

"Uh… None taken…?" Stone replied, scratching his head.

"But man, obviously not." Axel continued without missing a beat, almost as if Stone hadn't even spoken. "That's pretty crazy, dude. What'd you say her name was again?"

"It's Fifi." I said, clearing my throat loudly to make sure he realized I was perfectly capable of answering any questions myself.

"Fifi?" Tippi repeated, giving me an odd look before shifting it to Stone. "That's a pretty unique name for a Braixen. I presume it's because her species is native to France, and Fifi is a stereotypically French name?"

Stone shook his head and laughed. "Ha, no, 'fraid it's a lot more mundane than that. I named her after my favorite baseball player, the only good pitcher the Teddies have had in the past decade and the only real hero I've ever had outside of my own family, Fifi Honeychurch. She's _the best_. So yeah, not very clever, but uh, I'm sure Clare's already told you guys about how bad I am at coming up with non-rock based names."

"Shut up, Stone, I like my name." I said, smacking him lightly for doing his stupid self-deprecating crap again.

"Heh, she's pretty sassy, isn't she?" Axel stated, as Stone and I bickered with each other over his naming capabilities.

"I know, isn't she _adorable_?" said Clary, looking at me like I was some sort of plush doll. She didn't coo at me for long, however, as her eyes lit up and shot over to Coby moments later. "Oh, oh, speaking of adorable, Coby, Coby! Why haven't you introduced yourself and your Pokémon yet?"

Coby, who had been quietly minding his own business and hanging back away from everyone else, suddenly stiffened up as Clary drew everyone's attention to him. Mew continued to assume her role as an actual plush doll hanging around his neck, but as Coby began to twitch nervously, she began to shift ever so slightly as well. With all eyes now on him, Coby shuffled nervously towards the group, waving hi but seemingly incapable of speaking, looking even more ill-at-ease than I usually was in these kinds of situations. Catching Stone's gaze, his face seemed to be pleading with him for help, and Stone quickly spoke up once he noticed.

"U-Uh, Clare, I don't think Coby brought his Pokémon with him…" Stone said, staring a hole into Clary's soul and not breaking eye contact as he shook his head vigorously in hopes she would get the hint.

"Huh? What are you talking about, Stone? She's _right there_ , you goof!" she responded with a carefree, totally oblivious giggle. What a surprise. Stone let out a defeated sigh, turning back to Coby with regret. Coby, though his shoulders slumped, shook his head softly before Stone could try to speak up for him again.

"…It's okay." said Coby softly, giving Stone a quick nod before continuing. "S-Sorry, I just… Don't really like talking all that much… My name is Cobalt Cerule, Coby for short. I'm not really… I'm just…" Poor Coby seemed to struggle more and more with each word, and as Clary's friends continued to stare at him with increasingly confused looks, he began to shake his head and back away from everyone. "Er, just, d-don't mind me… I… I should probably just go, I don't… Um, I don't want to be a bother…"

"Coby, shut up, you aren't a bother!" Clary exclaimed. "Come on, I wouldn't have invited you along if I thought you would be a bother! Any friend of Stone's is a friend of mine, and that makes you a friend of all of us, right guys?" Clary's friends quickly voiced their support of her claim, though not exactly in the most enthusiastic manner. It was plenty good for Clary, however, and she continued. "See? You don't have to stress out about anything, Coby! So come on, let everyone know what kind of Pokémon you've got! If you guys thought Fifi was cool, just wait until you see _this_!"

With everyone staring in anticipation, Coby let out a sigh, his head drooping for a moment before he forced it back up. "…A-Alright… Just… Please, don't get too excited… I don't want to draw too much attention…" Getting confused nods in response from Clary's friends, Coby let out another heavy sigh, then tapped Mew gently on the back. "…This… Isn't a doll."

Mew, obviously not wanting to make a spectacle of herself, merely lifted her head up and winked, letting out an airy giggle before falling back into place. That was enough, though, as Clary's friends all let out gasps of astonishment, Bort even going so far as to drop a " _DAAAAAMN SON!_ " for good measure.

"Holy shit, dude!" exclaimed Axel, doing a poor job on the whole 'not getting excited' front. "No way! How the hell'd you find one of _those_?!"

"Y-Yes, I'd like to know that as well!" Tippi added, crowding nearer to Coby to get a better look at Mew. "There are speculated to only be a handful of Mews in existence! I can't even begin to fathom how a mere high school student managed to capture one!"

"H-Hey, p-please, not so loud…" Coby said imploringly, inching away from Tippi as she encroached into his personal space.

" _ **Duuuuuuuuuude**_!" said Bort, seemingly not having heard Coby at all as he stared and pointed in a slack-jawed stupor at Mew, doing his absolute best to unintentionally draw as much attention as possible, people already beginning to stop what they were doing to focus on the ruckus he and his friends were causing.

"H-Hey, guys, why don't we, um, continue this conversation somewhere more private?" Clary suddenly exclaimed, finally seeming to get the picture as Coby became more and more distressed.

"Ah, shit…" Axel muttered, nodding in understanding as he saw the crowd that was beginning to form around us. "Guys, why don't we head to our seats?"

"Huh?" Bort grunted, looking at Axel obliviously. "But Ax, what about-"

" _Come on_ , man." Axel said firmly, grabbing Bort by the arm and directing away from Coby, then motioning for Tippi to follow suit. Turning back to Coby, he gave him an apologetic look. "Sorry dude, forgot where we were for a minute there, that's on me. I think it's best if I take these two to our seats before they get any more worked up. Clary, why don't you hang back with your boy and Coby for a bit in case they wanna get any concessions or whatever, then show them to our seats when you're all ready?"

"Ah, o-okay, Ax. See you all in a bit." Clary said with a nod, waving goodbye to her friends as Axel hurried them off. Once they left and took their commotion with them, the crowd that had begun to form around us quickly and thankfully scattered. Once things had settled down, Clary wasted no time in going up to Coby and shaking her head into her hands in embarrassment. "Oh my gosh, I am so, _SO_ sorry, Coby, I _definitely_ did not mean to do that, I just… I wasn't thinking about where we were, either, I got so excited and I just assumed you would want to show off Mew to them… Please, don't blame them, that was my fault, I got them all worked up telling them you had the rarest Pokémon imaginable, I… Shouldn't have done that. Please, don't hate me too much…"

"Don't worry about it, Clary…" Coby replied, having calmed down considerably once the others had left. "I'm used to that kind of reaction, and usually I don't mind it as much, I just… Would rather not have a repeat of what happened earlier today…"

"Amen to _that_." Stone added, shuddering at presumably the thought of having to deal with anymore nutjobs today.

"I'll probably be more willing to talk about Mew once everything is settled down and everyone isn't all pumped up and ready to battle or trade at the sight of her." Coby explained, giving Clary an understanding smile, one which quickly faded. "But um, until then, if you could just… Try not to bring her up, at least for a few days…"

"O-Of course, Coby." Clary replied, nodding rapidly. "I'll let the others know too, though I'm sure Ax has already put the fear of God into them about it… Oh, but, but!" Clary's mood swiftly went from zero right back to a hundred in the blink of an eye, as she began to hop up and down and grin with far too much excitement at Stone. "Stone! Isn't this awesome?! I knew you guys would hit it off, I can already tell they like you guys!"

Stone shared a sideways glance with Coby before answering. "Yeah, if you say so, Clare."

And just like that, Clary's mood fizzled right back out. "If I say so? Come on, Stone, don't be like that. You've hardly had any time to know them, give them a chance, please? They're my closest friends, other than you, of course, I just _know_ you're going to fit right in with them! You too, Coby!"

Stone let out a small sigh, before putting on a strained looking smile. "I wasn't disputing any of that, Clare. I'm just being my usual self-loathing self, that's all."

"Well, stop it." Clary replied, hands on her hips. "You're going to fit in fine, it'll be like we were never apart and you were part of our group all along. And Coby'll be fine too, so both of you just _stop_ it with the mopey crap, alright?"

"Yes ma'am, whatever you say!" Stone replied with a stupidly big grin, standing at attention and giving her a mock salute before breaking down into a snicker at her frustrated reaction.

"Yeah, it's like we never parted at all…" Clary stated in mock anger, unable to hold it for long before she joined in with Stone's laughter. _Uuuuuuugh_ …

…No, it's alright. Grow up, Fifi, let Stone enjoy himself. This is…

…This is good. Stone deserves to have a life for once. I should be happy to see him happy. And…

…I am. Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be? Stop… Stop overthinking everything, Fifi… So long as Stone is happy…

…I'm happy too.

… _Obviously_ …

* * *

We didn't spend much more time in the lobby once Clary's friends had departed. The concessions that Axel had mentioned weren't much more than a small snack pack they were giving out to each student on their way into the seating area, which, shared between myself and Stone, didn't even make it to our seats with us. Or rather, our seat, as I was soon to discover that I would be forced to share Stone's seat with him again, Clary's friends of course not thinking to hold a seat for a dumb Pokémon. Though… I wasn't exactly complaining about that particular predicament, hehe…

"…What are you giggling about, Fi?" Stone asked warily.

"N-Nothing, master. Teeheehee~…" I replied, settling further into his warm, gentle grasp.

"Are you sure you're comfortable like that, Stone?" Clary asked, frowning. "I didn't think to ask Ax to hold an extra seat for Fifi, but… You shouldn't have to hold her in your lap again like that all night…"

Oooh… I swear to God, Clary, if you make me move after getting settled in just right…

"Nah, I'm fine." Stone replied, reaffirming why he was the only one truly deserving of my love. "Fifi's light and soft and warm, it's like having my own personal, heated pillow for when the Treeblood curbstomping massacre eventually puts me to sleep."

"Puts you to sleep?" Tippi repeated incredulously. "How could one ever be put to sleep whilst watching such an exquisitely flawless battler as Ariala Treeblood? The way she commands her Pokémon so effortlessly, so gracefully, it's almost like watching a master artist at work, such is the level of skill she possesses and so graciously chooses to display for all of us."

"…Uh, yeah, what Tips said." added Bort helpfully.

"See. Stone?" Clary whispered to Stone. "You see what I've had to put up with?"

"Well, we didn't _have_ to come to this dumb thing, did we?" Stone whispered back. "I'm not really all that jazzed to watch a bunch of one-sided beatdowns, y'know."

"Neither am I, but…" Clary bit her lip as she glanced over at her friends, all of whom looked far more into being there than she did. "I couldn't really _not_ come… But hey, it shouldn't be _entirely_ one-sided beatdowns, other than the standard Treeblood one at the end, it's a tournament of mostly the best, so there should be a few good battles, at least. And we got front row seats, thanks to Ax, so I doubt it'll put you to sleep."

"Right." Stone mumbled. "I'm still confused as to how this whole thing is supposed to work in the first place. The professor was gushing so much about Purple taking part in it, he pretty much glazed over everything else, or at least, it felt like he did…"

"Purple…?" Axel repeated in confusion.

"Ariala, I presume." Clary said, which Stone quickly confirmed. "Sorry, Stone doesn't like calling people by their proper names if he's already come up with one on his own before learning it."

"Not at all, Clare." Stone lied, sounding indignant. "I just don't like pretension, and ' _Ariala Treeblood'_ is pretentious as… Heck. Plus, Purple is easier to pronounce. So _there_."

"Right. Uh-huh." Clary replied, not sounding the least bit convinced. "Don't think I've forgotten that you kept intermittently calling me 'Ribbons' for well over a month after we met."

"Hey, that was a nickname, that's different." Stone said defensively, before swiftly changing the subject back to his original intended topic. "None of that has any bearing on this dumb tournament, anyways. I don't suppose any of you guys managed to glean any more information from the professor's speech about it other than 'hnnnnngh Purple so stronk, so manly', did you?"

After a couple shrugs of cluelessness from Coby and Clary, Tippi let out a sigh and adjusted her glasses before speaking up. "Well, I suppose he _did_ gloss over it a bit more than he should have, but I would have to assume it's the same tournament they always hold on arrival day here at LeMasters. Surely you know about _that_ , right? It's one of the most well-known traditions of the school, dating back to the days when it was solely for trainers."

Stone let out a nervous laugh as everyone's attention fell on him. "Ah, I-I mean, of course I do… Pfft, I was just… A-Assuming with how much he was going on about Purple, that it was different this year, to er, better showcase her incredible, incomparable, intrinsic talent, that's all…"

"I highly doubt that." Tippi replied with a smug little chortle. "Granted, Ariala Treeblood _is_ a once-in-a-lifetime, generational talent, but even so, I'm sure they wouldn't alter something that's so ingrained in the school's history for the sake of one student's personal glory… Albeit, I wouldn't be opposed to the idea if it _were_ to happen. The chance to see more Ariala and less raw, unproven talent battling it out sounds positively enthralling."

"Of course, s-silly me, hahaha… Ha…" Stone quickly stifled his forced laughter once everyone's attention had drifted from him, wasting no time in handing me his phone, then putting his lips to my ear so that only I could hear him. "Fi, text my brother and ask him what this stupid arrival day tournament is. Tell him no bullshitting, please."

I gave him an a-okay, and got to work doing as he asked. A little cumbersome, since I had to use my claws due to his phone not registering the fur on my hands as touching it, but I had gotten more than used to that over the years.

"Wouldn't that be crazy though if one of us made it in?" Clary asked in excitement as I waited for Flint's reply. "Or, well, I say 'we', but obviously it wouldn't be me, hehe. But one of you guys, definitely!"

"Made it in what…?" Stone murmured, getting no response from Clary. "…Hngh… Fi, tell that asshole to hurry up…"

"I don't think that'll have the desired result, Stone…" I muttered back.

"Ha, Clary, don't downplay yourself so much." Axel said in response to her. "You have just as much of a chance as the rest of us."

"Pfft, _as if_." Clary replied, rolling her eyes. "Tippi, Bort, you guys are Lovitz High's reigning double battle champions for our class, and Ax, you're one of the top student trainers in all of Tuvent City, I actually don't think it would be too much of a surprise at all if any of you made it in, now that I think about it."

"Yeah, and you're right up there with us, Clare." Axel said, reaching over to give Clare a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "And besides, I would never have gotten to that point without my _own_ doubles partner, you know."

"Aw, stop it, Ax." Clary responded, playfully pushing him away. "I was only holding you back, and you know it. You're _way_ better than I could ever hope to be, if any of us would be able to so much as scratch Ariala, it would be you, definitely."

"Yeah bro, I'll bet you DEFINITELY got in!" Bort said, pumping his fist and giving Axel a wild-eyed grin. "Me and Tippi and Clary are good, but you're on a whole different level, yo! You a straight up _BEAST_ , bro!"

"Come on, you guys. Knock it off." Axel said, shaking his head. "I have just as much of a chance as the rest of you, which is to say, slim to none, haha. Remember, this is a school for the top students in all of the Midwestern United States we're talking about here, not just Illinois. Being the best in Tuvent ain't gonna cut it. Hell, being the best in Windmoore probably wouldn't. Besides, I don't think they take past accomplishments into account anyways, do they?"

Tippi quickly shook her head. "As far as I'm aware, no. It's all dependent on one's test results, but I would have to think your score would be just as extraordinarily high as your skill level shows it is, Axel."

"Geez, you guys, would you stop that?" Axel said, as his friends all continued to clamor on about him. I soon droned their conversation out, however, as Stone's phone let out a chime. I read and relayed Flint's message to Stone, my confusion growing with every word.

"Stone, here. He says… ' _God damn, bro, how are you so clueless about that place? Did you not-_ '… Okay, skipping ahead to the relevant parts… Still skipping… Geez, what a dick... Ah, here we go. ' _It's a tournament they hold every year, they take the freshmen students who got the highest scores on their aptitude tests, or like, sections of it, or whatever, it doesn't matter, and then pair them up into random teams, with the winning team battling each other at the end for a chance to battle the previous year's school champion. Nothing that you would ever have to worry about, in other words. Pretty sure whoever wins is just gonna get anally rendered by that Trueblood bitch or whatever her name was, assuming they managed to convince her to come back for that one battle. It should be a pretty entertaining trainwreck regardless though, most of those entitled assholes that get chosen to compete don't know the first thing about double battles because they're all about that personal glory, so it's great fun watching them yell at one another when they fuck up each others' strategies. Do let me know if anything REALLY stupid happens, because I got some great stories I can share with you about the ones they held while I was there, boy oh fucking boy._ '"

Stone had tensed up pretty badly as I read his brother's words to him, and I could tell from his utter silence that he was struggling to remember something. He soon let out a huge exhale, however, slouching back into a much more relaxing position for both him and me. "Oh, man, that scared me for a moment. I didn't know what aptitude test he was talking about there for a minute, I was about to shit myself thinking I missed something else this morning. I think he's talking about that weird ass test Uncle Bob had me take when he first enrolled me, though. Which, thank God, I won't have to worry about, like he said. No way in fuck that I ranked highly on that, I hardly understood most of the questions on that thing in the first place."

"What are you and Fifi doing other over there, Stone…?" Clary asked, causing both Stone and myself to jolt up in attention.

"Uhh, n-nothing important, Clare." Stone quickly stuttered, shoving his phone back into his pocket. "Just, uh, having Fifi check the Teddies' score for me. You know, important things."

"Of course." Clary replied, smirking and rolling her eyes at Stone. "I don't know why I'm surprised, you spent more time talking about them than anything else when we were kids. I always figured you would end up playing… E-Er…" Clary's face immediately faltered once she realized what she was getting ready to say. Looking away in shame, she quickly sputtered out an apology. "A-Ah, I… I'm sorry, Stone, I forgot… I-I didn't mean…"

Stone let out a good-natured chuckle and gave me a squeeze, presumably in anticipation of me blowing up at Clary again over what she _had_ to have realized was a sore subject for him. To his credit, he remained remarkably calm about it, though I couldn't help but notice him rolling his wrist against me, probably without even realizing he was doing it. "No worries, Clare. That just wasn't in the cards."

"Ah… B-But…" Clary began, Stone shaking his head firmly to make her stop. "…Alright. S-So, do you or Coby think either of you have a shot of making the tournament?"

Stone immediately let out a snort of laughter. "Ha, that's a good one, Clare. I totally winged most of the questions on that test, I don't know sh… I-I mean, I doubt I scored very highly, I only just recently started taking training seriously. And thank God, too, I don't want any part of Purple, thank you very much. Coby, I dunno about, but judging by how strong his Pokémon is, I wouldn't be shocked."

Coby looked blankly at Stone and Clary as they and the others awaited a response from him. "Um… I don't remember taking any tests, sorry. My parents probably did it without telling me about it, they… Er… They kind of sprung this whole thing on me without asking. So, I don't really know what this tournament is about in the first place, I don't know much about this place in general, to be honest."

"Damn, for real…?" Axel said, his look of shock mirrored on pretty much everyone else's face. "That's… Kinda messed up."

"I'll say." Tippi stated in a huff. "That's hardly ethical or fair on his parents' part. The rest of us had to take that test fair and square, what right do they have to take it in his place?"

"Yeesh, I'd say it's more messed up that his parents sent him here without his permission, more than anything." Stone said, looking at Coby with no lack of sympathy.

"It's fine…" Coby said, though not exactly in a convincing manner. "I'm used to this kind of thing by now, they're… They always have to be in control, they're-"

" _Master…"_

My ears perked up in surprise at the unexpected, strangely wispy voice of what had to have been Mew, as Coby immediately stopped himself at the sound of it.

"…A-Ah, they're uh, they're always looking out for me, because they only want the very best for me, so… They do this stuff out of love… As weird as that sounds. Ha… I'm fine though, so don't worry about that… And I'm definitely not that strong, so I _hope_ my parents didn't cheat me in, hahahaha..."

Nobody really seemed to have a response to Coby's words, so there was an awkward silence for a good couple seconds after that. I was more focused on Mew regardless, as it had dawned on me that I hadn't really heard her speak at all until just then, just giggle, which was pretty unusual. I suppose it did make sense for her as a psychic type to keep most of her communication on a mental level, seeing how she was pretending to be a stuffed toy and all, but… I dunno. I was just used to other Pokémon being chatterboxes, I guess.

" _Sorry, I'm definitely not what you would call a chatterbox, heehee…_ "

I let out a small shudder as my mind was suddenly filled with a voice that was not my own. Gah… Now I know why Stone hated that so much when I did it to him… That was freaky… I immediately looked over to Mew, whose cheeks lifted ever so slightly to let me know that was indeed her who had said that… Not that I had had any doubts…

" _Do you usually monologue to yourself like this?_ "

…

" _Sorry, just messing with you! I know, it's indescribably rude to intrude on someone's thoughts like this, I promise this was a one time thing. I just… Didn't mean to say that aloud. I saw you glance over at me after I let it slip, so I was merely… Curious as to what you were thinking. Incredibly vain, yes, but as you can tell, my 'inner' voice is much more palatable than my 'outer' one, and I'm… Very self-conscious about it. I'll leave you in peace now, I apologize profusely again, and I swear on mine and my master's lives that I won't come in without knocking ever again. Don't worry, I'm sure we'll have plenty of time to talk 'properly' later, teehee."_

…

…Hngh…

That was… Gross. I freaking _hated_ communicating mentally, I technically wasn't a psychic type yet, so I wasn't capable of doing it very easily, but the mere thought of being able to just effortlessly pop into someone else's mind like that without them realizing it and being able to read their every thought was just… _**Eugh**_. No thanks. I could tell Mew hadn't meant any harm by it, but… It was just so _deeply_ unpleasant…

I had to force my mind to shift back to reality, and as it did, I realized the lights had dimmed and someone had taken the stage while I was being mentally violated.

"-and so, we hold this tournament every year not just for sport, but to also show that training isn't a solo effort. That in order for one to understand the blind faith and trust that their Pokémon must place in them upon first bonding with them, that they themselves must place their trust in the hands of another wholly unknown individual."

"Man, can't this dude speak normal English…?" bemoaned Bort as Professor Redwood prattled on, earning him a smack from Tippi.

"Perhaps if you would pay attention to any of your classes outside of athletics you would be able to understand his simple English with ease like the rest of us." she scolded. "Now shush, some of us are trying to listen here."

"Ah, geez…" was Bort's only reply, his head slumping into his hands in annoyance.

"-therefore, we choose not just the students who scored the highest marks on their trainer aptitude tests, but also those who scored the lowest. After all, it would be easy enough for two highly skilled individuals to gel smoothly with one another without much friction, but another thing entirely for someone with experience and someone else who is just starting their journey to the top. For even as the smallest, meekest of Magikarp may one day become the fiercest of god-felling beasts, so too may the most simple-minded and clueless of trainers become champions, it all comes down to the trust and understanding they place in and share with their partners."

"Wait a minute, what?" Stone whispered to Clary. "I… I didn't know anything about the lowest scores getting in too… _Fucking Flint_..."

"Huh?" she whispered back, giving him a reassuring smile as she saw the look of apprehension on his face. "Aw, come on, Stone. Even winging it, I doubt you scored _that_ badly, remember, these are the very best and very worst scores out of _every single student_ here who is studying for their trainer's license. Do you see how packed this place is? Like Ax said, the chances of any of us getting in are slim to none. And besides, you wouldn't know if you did well or poorly anyways even if you did get chosen, they make a point of not revealing who got the high scores and who got the low ones, for obvious reasons. So just relax and enjoy yourself for once, Mr. Worrywart."

"Ah… You're right…" Stone said, doing as Clary suggested and relaxing once more. "…Sorry, this has just been a weird day."

" _Every_ day's a weird day for you, Stone." Clary said with a giggle.

"Yeah, but… Not _this_ weird…" Stone groaned, before letting out a laugh of his own. "…You're right, though. I'm just being ridiculous."

"-and now, it is my great honor to announce the names of our participants in tonight's tournament!" the Professor bellowed, the crowd roaring all around us in response. Once things had quieted down, he continued. "Now, I will call out these names in pairs and in no particular order, no alphabetization, no seeding, none of that rubbish. If your name is one of the lucky ones called, please meet up with the nearest faculty member so that they may escort you to our arena proper. Now, without any further ado, let us begin!" The crowd began to buzz with anticipation, as a massive amount of profiles began to flash rapidly across the arena's big screen and the professor was handed a small stack of index cards. After studying the first one for a moment, he smiled and spoke with gusto. "The first participant in tonight tournament is… Ms. Lee McBee, of Frostridge Town, Michigan!"

The screen stopped flashing, a picture of a blonde haired girl displayed upon it, though it was soon replaced with a live crowd shot of the girl, who jumped up and down with all the excitement you would expect given the situation. As the girl celebrated with her friends, the screen went back to flashing more pictures, and the professor began to speak again.

"And, her partner… From Garaville City, Indiana, Mr. Latterius Lazard!"

"Man, it's hard to tell which of those two is the stupid one." said Axel, giving a short laugh as he watched the goofy looking picture on the screen turn into a goofy looking liveshot.

"That dude's from Garaville and is still alive at sixteen, I'm pretty sure it's not him." Stone said back.

"…Fair point." Axel conceded.

This continued for the next few names the professor called out, with Axel, Tippi, or Bort making some sort of delightfully unfunny observation at each one, though Stone quickly bowed out from responding past the first time, knowing him, due to feeling bad for unintentionally implying that he thought the first girl was stupid with his comment. I did my best to drone them out and focus on the professor instead.

"-and facing them will be the team of… A homegrown lad, Mr. Axel Fortune, of Tuvent City, Illinois!"

I couldn't plug my ears in time to avoid Clary's incredulous shriek, and judging by Stone's massive flinch, neither could he.

" _ **EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!**_ AXEL! AXEL, I TOLD YOU! DIDN'T I TELL YOU?! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!"

"Sh-Sheesh, settle down, Clare!" Axel responded, once Clary had released him from her death grip. He was soon surrounded by her and his other friends, as they all glomped onto him in unison. "G-Guys, please! Everyone's watching…!"

"Oh, so what?" Clary said. "You think you're too much of a cool guy to be hugged by your friends?"

"No, n-not at all, it's just that-"

"Tough luck then, buttercup!"

As Clary and her friends finally parted from Axel so he could follow the teacher that had arrived for him down to the stage, Stone let out a little wump of discontent, as he did his best just to avoid getting accidentally kneed or elbowed by Clary.

"Humph…" he sulked, sinking down into his seat and dislodging me from my comfort zone. The moment Clary turned her attention back to him, however, it was like nothing was wrong, as he straightened back up in an instant and gave her a grinning thumbs up. Before I had a chance to complain to him, the professor spoke back up.

"And joining Mr. Fortune will be, all the way from the Kanto region of Japan… Mr. Sat Mistrock!"

"…Sat?" Stone muttered in slight distress. "No way, that can't possibly be… Aw, _fuck_."

"Oh my God, no way…" Clary joined in, her distress much more prevalent as she looked in wide-eyed, hand-over-mouth shock at the scowling face that was displayed on the big screen. Or, as Stone would put it, a solid ten out of ten on the swampass to Pokéshit scale that he used to measure such things, compared to his mere three.

I myself wasn't particularly upset at the sight of Edgy's surly image, as he did his absolute best to avoid the camera and everyone else around him, including the teacher that was trying to herd him down to the stage. Rather, I was just surprised, and I felt pretty bad for poor Pikachu, knowing now that his trainer was apparently the worst case of all bark and no bite imaginable. Assuming, of course, that Axel's hype was warranted.

"Oh God, no…" Clary continued to whine. "Poor Axel…"

"Peh, you think _he_ has it bad, at least he's not his damn roommate." Stone replied glumly, though I couldn't ignore the quiet little chuckle he let slip at the end.

"Wait, what?" Clary asked, giving Stone a strange look. "What does that have to… W-Wait, _**what**_?!"

"Like I said, it's been a _REALLY_ weird day." Stone said simply, letting Clary draw her own conclusions.

"…Oh, God." was all she replied with as she sat back down and shook her head into her hands. Once she explained to Tippi and Bort who their leader's new tag team partner was, their wild enthusiasm died right down, too, thank God. And, without Axel there to lead them, they also refrained from commenting on the remainder of the names the professor called out, too. With only one team left to reveal, the mood had died down considerably, though I think Stone was fine with that, judging by how relaxed his grip had become compared to when they were all yelling and screaming for the glory of Axel.

"And so now, we come to the final team." the professor said, allowing the audience to build itself back up to a fever pitch before continuing. As he looked down at his final index card, a strange, goofy grin spread across his face, and he seemed to be incapable of keeping himself from tittering like a small child. "…Oh, yes. This was… A most fortunate outcome, indeed. I can hardly believe the luck that was involved in allowing this to transpire, though I am not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. Right, I'm saying all of this out loud, aren't I? Yes, well, let's stop that now, shall we? I am just... Rambling profusely now, my goodness, this is… RIGHT! YES! Our final team tonight will consist of none other than… Mr. Rumpus Banstead, of Ordurave City, Missouri!"

Stone let out a _very_ strange noise, seemingly choking on his own spittle for a brief moment as he had begun to doze off, but was immediately shaken out of that by the name of his new favorite person. I quickly shifted over to give him room to breath, allowing me to see the look of… Let's just say, extreme displeasure, that was etched upon his face.

"Oh, God, are you fucking…" Stone began, once he was breathing again. As he looked from the big screen to Coby and back in absolute disbelief, however, his initial anger soon gave way to a massive, massive fit of laughter. "Holy shit, I fucking… AHAHAHAHA, I FREAKING _KNEW_ IT! THAT IDIOT REALLY _IS_ THE STUPIDEST PERSON HERE! Fuck, I should have realized that the moment he thought held items were a literal thing, but… Oh God, this is going to be so beautiful. Coby, what'd I tell you? That piece of shit is going to get his ass absolutely humiliated in front of literally EVERYONE in the school! Now that's what I call karma, volume one!"

Ugh, that was _bad_ , Stone…

"Don't you give me that look Fi, I don't care how lame I am, at least I'm not _that_ poor motherfucker!" he said, pointing derisively at Assy's terribly conceited big screened image, seemingly oblivious at this point to all the strange looks he was receiving from pretty much everyone in our section.

"Y-Yeah…" Coby finally said, nodding his head. "…But I feel really bad for whoever it is that's getting stuck with him, though."

Stone quickly shook his head, the maniacal grin still not escaping from his lip. "Whoever it is, they're probably some incredibly self-righteous dillhole who has just as much of a karmic backlash coming to them as Assy does, so-"

"And his partner, hailing from Kanak Town, Illinois, Mr. Stone Hardacre!"

…Ah…

…Shit.

...You _really_ need to learn to stop tempting fate, master...

Stone's sentence had, at that point, died a cold, merciless death as it plummeted into the abyss from his frozen, quickly blanching face. A face that was at complete odds with the sleepy, I'd-rather-be-anywhere-but-here picture they had chosen to put up on the big screen. And somehow, I could tell he wasn't even the most upset person in the arena by this development, as the loudest, screechiest utterance of " _ **MOTHERFUCKER, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!**_ " in recorded history rang out over the wild din of the crowd from somewhere on the other side of the arena.

"Oh my…" was what squeaked out of Clary, who was so stunned that she couldn't fulfill either of her annoying noise quotas. On the contrary, the look she gave Stone was the complete opposite of the one she had given to Axel… For about five seconds. " _ **EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOHMYGODSTOOOOOOOOOONE!**_ "

As the camera found us, for the second time that night, everyone in attendance got to see Clary crushing the life out of a person, though it might've been more apt to call Stone a statue at that point, as he had seemingly turned into his namesake; completely and utterly devoid of any kind of movement. Making sure I wasn't facing the camera, I gave him a look of worry.

"S-Stone…?" I said as quietly as I could while still being audible over the noise from the crowd. "Stone, c-come on, this isn't…" I couldn't bring myself to lie to Stone while he was in such a traumatized state. "…O-Okay, this is admittedly pretty fucking awful, but… Come on, Stone… Let's just… Go down there, let me eat a Hydro Pump, and let Assy get what's coming to him. Alright…? …M-Master…?"

I could do nothing more but look on in distraught as Stone finally began to move again, in the form of him shaking his head rapidly and running his fingers distressingly through his hair. A shellshocked look spread across his face as he began to repeat the same thing over and over again under his breath…

"…I'm the idiot… I'm… That bad…"

"Master, you're not…" I shook my head at his claims, putting on the most joyful expression I was capable of. "You're not the idiot Stone, this means you scored in the top percent! It's like I've always told you, you really are the best, master~!"

Stone continued to shake his head, my words of encouragement as useless as they ever were for him…

"…No, Fi… I'm… I'm the worst… Literally the worst…" he said back, lifelessly, hopelessly. As the nearest teacher came to collect us, Coby and Clary gave Stone worried looks, and I clutched onto Stone's hand firmly. I couldn't… I didn't know what else to do… I had to show him solidarity… This wasn't about clinginess, not this time. Damn it, Stone… I'll prove to you you're not the worst… Assy be damned, I'll win this dumb thing all on my own if I have to. I won't… I won't let you doubt yourself any longer.

"Fi… What are you…"

I looked up at my master with fiery determination in my eyes as I pulled him along after the teacher.

"You're not an idiot, Stone. I mean, you _are_ an idiot, but not the kind you think you are. We're gonna win this stupid thing, you and me, together, and then we're gonna beat Assy again to prove who the real idiot is, and then…"

…Well, no point in moderation at this point.

"…We're going to kick Purple's ass."

I stared deep into Stone's eyes, the utmost confidence on my face, hoping and praying that for once, he would receive even the smallest bit of the positivity I tried so desperately to transfer to him.

"…Fi…"

"Come on, master… Do you really need me to hold your hand over this anymore?"

Stone's eyes fell to our hands… And flashed with realization. Not what I had intended, but… Thank you, unintentional horrible wordplay.

"…Y-You're not…"

I shook my head at him. "No, this is for _your_ sake, master. I'm not about to let you chicken out now."

 _…Shit, no, I'm not supposed to know about that, I said that in his 'dream', fuck, fuck, FUCK-_

"…Alright."

My inner panic stopped. Stone looked at me with… Hope. Confidence, even. Did I… Did I really…

"…Please, just, don't push yourself beyond your limits, okay, Fi? Promise me…"

I blinked. Then I smiled.

"…Of course not, master."

Yeah… Of course not, master…

… _Of course I can't promise you that._

I'll do everything in my power and beyond it if it means making you happy and helping you gain the confidence that I already have in you. Even if it means…

…No.

 _My love is counting on me._

I can't let him down.

… _And I won't._

* * *

Man, I _really_ fucking love dialogue. And also horrible contrivances for the sake of intrigue. All of them for valid reasons, _of course_ , but man do I look like a fucking goober in the mean time. Ah well, I'm just a lazy hack of a writer, can't be helped. On the plus side, the next chapter should be pretty action packed, whenever I get that out. Since I was planning on it to be part of this chapter and I already have the ideas for it in my head, probably not much longer of a wait than it took for this chapter to come out, God willing.

But anyways, as always, hope you all enjoyed, and have a good day/evening/night, y'all.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Heh, so, funny story as to the cause of the wait this time, that being that this has been quite possibly one of the worst fucking months of my entire life, holy fucking shit. That's my excuse this time; it's like my normal excuse, only stronger. But that's fine. Everything is fine. Anyhoo, extra special thanks as always to those of you who have reviewed, I will never stop being awed and flattered by how much you all seem to enjoy my writing. And of course, thank you to all of you who read and follow this in general. I can't believe how many people are reading this at this point... Y'all are fucking awesome. My apologies as usual for the wait, though. And now, just a few things real quick before I shut up.

Now, I know my uploading schedule is shit and non-existent. And I'm still not promising anything. But the latest couple of reviews I've gotten have hammered the point home to me, that I should probably try to write shorter chapters in order to get more out quicker. I've always figured that since I keep people waiting so long, I should probably try and have as much shit as possible in each chapter and try to hit at least 10,000 words to make up for it. But I'm going to try for something a bit different and see if it works out any better. Maybe with shorter chapters, I can push at least two to three out per month, possibly more if I can hit a groove. But again, no promises. Even with shorter chapters, I still have to find the time and motivation to write them up to my standards (which, yes, I realize sounds ridiculous coming from someone who shits on their own work as much as I do), and that's... Not exactly easy for me. But I'll do my best, and just hope that I don't disappoint too much. Anyhow, onto a couple review replies.

FlightyEmotions: Regarding Sat... Huehuehuehue, just as planned... For now. Appreciate your feedback as always!

PokeBalls12: I don't think I'm capable of doing two or three updates a week, sorry. I wish I could, believe me. But yeah, hopefully two or three a month at least, God willing. Regarding Assy (and oh my God you predicted Rumpustiltskin, you are _the best_ ), I'm sure if anyone else is ever forced to interact with him, they'll be more inclined to call him that than not, if only to piss him off.

JanetTheDog: Very happy to hear you (and the others who have brought it up in past reviews, I can't remember who I've replied to or not hhhhh) enjoy the dialogue so much! It's pretty much the only part of my writing I take any sort of pride in, so it always makes me happy to know I'm doing it right. At least, so far. Appreciate the kind words, though.

Anyways, yeah, shutting up. Here's this mess. Enjoy.

* * *

"What the hell do you mean, we can't trade partners?! This is some grade A bullshit right here, that's what this is! I'm fucked from the get-go, I got this worthless piece of shit for a partner, I'm literally gonna be stuck pulling all the weight! What a bunch of rigged-ass garbage, FUCK, man!"

Once Assy had finished frothing at the mouth, I looked up from my hands and gave him my own look of displeasure, which was amplified when I saw the recipient of his vitriol. "…You do realize you're talking to a piece of paper, right?"

"Fuck you, faggot."

Right. And I was talking to an actual mongoloid. I buried my face back into my palms as Assy continued to verbally assault the rule sheet that had been posted in our makeshift locker room, for lack of a better term, with Fifi at my side doing her best to console me. She and I had been escorted to a small room off to the side of the arena floor, with not much more than a few benches and a TV screen showing a live shot of the battlefield for decoration. Three of the other teams were already there when we arrived, including Sat and Axel. Axel's congratulations for me were very short-lived, however, once Assy was shoved inside with us, stomping and screaming and generally acting like his normal friendly self. Pretty much all of the conversation in the room had died upon his arrival, since he hadn't so much as stopped to catch his breath, never mind stop ranting and raving like a lunatic, since he had stepped foot into the room. Finally, he seemed to be content to just stew in the corner like a small child in timeout, and Axel decided to be brave and speak up. The fool.

"…You got issues, man."

Assy whipped around in an instant, his frenzied expression only ramping up at Axel's words. "Issues? Asshole, the only issues I have are with things that are out of my control, like how I'm stuck with that friggin' butthole surfer for a partner!"

"Hey, I'm not really thrilled to be in this spot either, Assy." I said. The look he gave me in response was particularly unhinged, as if he were ready to tear my jugular out at any moment, only thinking better of it once Fifi shot him an equally murderous glare back.

"For the last time, my name is not _'Assy'_ , you stupid, brainless fucktard!" he bellowed, pointing at me in impotent rage from across the room but not daring to take another step forward lest he incur Fifi's wrath. "How fucking hard is it for you to remember somebody's God damned name?!"

"Pretty damn hard, apparently." Edgy decided to add, rather unnecessarily, if I may say. I let it slide, however, not really wanting any more enemies at that moment.

"Okay, whatever, Rumpustiltskin." I said, speaking quickly before he could fly off the handle again. "Anally-based name preferences notwithstanding, the sad, disgusting fact of the matter is, we're tag team partners. I hate this just as much as you do, buttbreath, but you don't hear _me_ screaming at the top of my lungs like a fucking banshee being flogged, do you? Or anyone else here, for that matter? How about you calm the fuck down and at least wait until _after_ we've gotten our asses kicked to destroy your vocal chords? There are far more eardrums to rupture out there than in here, y'know."

Assy narrowed his eyes at me. "Who made _you_ the fucking boss?"

"Nobody made anybody the boss, dude." Axel said, interjecting himself between me and fuckface, no doubt just as tired of hearing his screeching as I was. "Really though, you need to _chill_ , man, you're scarin' people here."

"Pussies." Assy spat back, folding his arms and turning his back to the rest of us.

"God, grow up, would you?" said Edgy, shaking his head. "It's embarrassing just having to listen to you. Your twerp of a partner may be an annoying, witless idiot, but you're just… Pathetic."

"Yeah, that's right, you…" I began, before quickly glowering over at Edgy. " _Heeey_ , wait a minute…"

"Case in point." Edgy stated flatly, his attention still focused on Assy. _Friggin' jerk…_ "Still, you should maybe learn a few words that you can say in public without being censored and fined if you plan on making it anywhere in this game, kid. Or, well, life in general, honestly."

Assy, finally, seemed to have gotten the hint, and had stopped responding whatsoever, instead just shaking his head and muttering to himself in his corner like an angry bridge troll, giving everyone else some much needed peace and quiet, and time to get acquainted with their respective partners before things got underway. Well, other than myself, of course. Eugh…

"Man, you got it rough, Stone." Axel said, once his attempts at conversation with Edgy presumably went nowhere. "I guess Clare wasn't kidding when she called you a magnet for trouble."

"Yeah, well, I'm used to it, so I don't really care." I said, shrugging in indifference. "I didn't want to be part of this dumb tournament to begin with, so it's no skin off of mine or Fifi's backs whether we win or lose. I just…" I bit my lip before I could finish my thought. I didn't really want to bring up the fact that I was upset over potentially being the weak link between me and Assy, of all people, not just for how weak and pathetic that would make me sound, but also because that might also open up a can of worms between Edgy and Axel, because, of course, one of them was also their team's weak link.

"It's okay, master." Fifi said, giving me her usual carefree, confident smile. "Just because that loser's going to embarrass himself doesn't mean we're going to do the same. Heck, he's going to make us look better in comparison just by proxy."

"Right…" I muttered, nodding, before letting out another groan. "It just sucks knowing we're basically going to be in handicap matches the whole time."

"But that'll just make us look all the more impressive when we win, Stone." Fifi said with a wry smirk.

"Of course." I said, returning her smirk.

"Man, it's kinda surreal to watch you two talk so casually." Axel said with a small chuckle. "It must be nice being able to communicate with your Pokémon so clearly, that's gotta make strategizing and planning way easier."

The corners of my mouth twinged upwards into an awkward, forced grin at Axel's assumption. "Heh, y-yeah…"

"Huh? Strategizing? Planning? What do those things mean, Stone?" Fifi said with heavy, giggle-laced sarcasm.

"Gee Fi, I dunno. They're not four letter words, so they aren't part of my normal vocab." I replied, rolling my eyes and giving Fifi the dirty look she was fishing for before turning back to Axel and Edgy. "Yeah, uh, I'm more of a, er, seat of my pants style trainer, I guess you could call it… I'd rather be spontaneous and flexible so I can react to any possibility rather than let myself get bogged down by silly things like plans and strategies that might not even be viable if a situation changes on the fly."

"That was a lot of wasted breath just to say 'I'm unorganized and have no real training experience'." Edgy said bluntly.

"Forgive me for trying to expand my vocabulary." I replied through clenched teeth.

"Nothing wrong with being honest with yourself, kid." Edgy said, shrugging. "Everyone has to start somewhere."

"Yeah, but…" I began, my shoulders slumping as I struggled to find the words I wanted. "…This is kind of a shitty place to start. I mean, out there in front of literally the entire school, I don't want to go out and make myself look like any more of a clueless scrub than I am."

"Then don't." Edgy replied.

"Don't what?" I asked in annoyance. "What, you think I should just bail now? I can't do that, that'll just make me look like an even bigger loser than going out there and making a fool of myself will."

"Not what I was implying, twerp." Edgy grunted.

"Then what _are_ you talking about?" I groaned in frustration.

Edgy pinched his nasal bridge and sighed. "I meant, don't go out there and make yourself look stupider than you actually are. I mean, assuming you aren't actually that dumb, I can't imagine you can be worse than Mr. Sunshine over there, at least. Which means you should be more than capable of making the best of your situation and at least having a competent enough showing to prove you belong here and might one day be something."

I looked back at Edgy at a loss for words and let out a little grumble. I hadn't really expected him to have anything remotely positive to say to me, let alone so… Sagely. Judging by the slightly worried expression that had cracked through Axel's cool exterior, he hadn't been expecting his partner to spout off such experienced sounding words, either.

"Heh, you talk like you've been doing this for years." Axel said, his attempt at laughter dying quickly in the face of Edgy's surly unresponsiveness. "You… You haven't been doing this for years, have you…?"

Edgy's eyes narrowed for a moment, before he let out a quick, snide scoff. "Pah. Of course not. Why would I be here if I had any sort of real experience? All I'm going to be doing is following my own advice and not making myself look like an idiot. Nothin' more, nothin' less. So don't be expecting me to do anything more than pull my own weight, got it, bub?"

"Whoa, no need to get so defensive, dude." Axel said, throwing his hands up in front of him in a 'chill out' motion. "I wasn't expecting anything, I was just asking a question."

"Yeah, well, I hate questions." Edgy responded, scowling with particular vigor. "Almost as much as I hate working as a team. The only partner I need is my own Pokémon, anyone else just gets in the way. But I guess I have no choice here, so just, make sure you keep your distance, and try not to get in my way, got it?"

"Sheesh… Whatever you say, man." Axel muttered irritably, rubbing his head in confusion before turning to me and motioning for me and Fifi to move somewhere away from Edgy to continue talking. We followed him over to a small, unoccupied hallway off to the side that was away from everyone else, and once he decided that we were out of Edgy's earshot, Axel let out a defeated sounding sigh. "Man, looks like we both drew the short straw when it comes to teammates, huh? Too bad we can't trade partners, those two seem made for each other. But I guess it wouldn't be fair for them to pair two of the weak links together like that, huh?"

I hesitated to consider Edgy a weak link, but I doubt Axel would have appreciated me voicing that, especially when he was being nice and pretending I wasn't my team's scrub. I shrugged and forced another smile. "Yeah, whoever fought them would get an automatic bye on account of them being too busy fighting each other to touch their opponents."

"Ha, yeah, true that." Axel said, grinning. "I think I _might_ have a shot, since I'm actually used to battling in doubles with Clare, but something tells me I'm going to have to throw all my usual strats out the window so I don't end up 'getting in the way'…"

I nodded and sighed. "Yeah, I have more double battle experience than anything else, but that's with my brother, who's like, five badges into his league challenge right now. I've hardly ever had to pull my own weight or be the 'lead' battler, I usually just have Fifi use assisting moves and let my brother's Pokémon do all the heavy lifting. Can't do that here, though, and, well, like I said, I'm looking at this more as a handicap battle or battles than anything. I obviously can't rely on that dipshit to do anything right, his Pokémon don't even respect him enough to listen to him. Which means…"

"…I'll just have to pull double duty." Fifi finished for me, all too casually.

"You say that so flippantly, Fi…" I muttered, not sharing Fifi's confidence at all. But then, what else was new?

"Just trying to stay loose, master." Fifi replied simply. "Like you said, it doesn't matter to either of us whether we win or lose, so there's no point in acting all super serious about this whole thing, right? I'm looking at this as an extra challenge, I think it'll be fun~!"

I paused for a moment at the thought of this ordeal being fun in any way, but Fifi's bouncy enthusiasm was, as usual, too much for me to stay moody around, and I cracked a small smile at her.

"…Heh, I guess you're right, Fi. We might as well make the most of our opportunity and enjoy ourselves while we're at it. Guess I haven't really been listening to Uncle Bob's advice very well… Plus, I doubt we'll ever get the chance to battle in front of so many people again." I said, quickly amending myself as Fifi cleared her throat in annoyance at my usual pessimism. "N-Not for a while, at least. Hehe…"

Fifi smirked and gave me a small laugh. "If nothing else, at least you're tempting fate in a positive way for once, Stone." Her expression soon softened, and she smiled brightly at me. "But, more than that, I'm glad to see you're not so down in the dumps anymore."

I happily returned her smile. "Yeah, well, that's all you, Feefs. I just can't seem to stay miserable for very long with you around."

"Good." she replied, giggling in that incomparably cute manner of hers that just warmed me to my very soul. "Guess that means I shouldn't ever leave your side then, for your own sake."

"Ha, I don't think I'm quite _that_ hopeless." I said, giving her a quick, appreciative squeeze. "Thank you, though, as always. I really don't know what I'd do without you, Fi."

"Don't worry, you'll never have to find out, because I'll always be there for you, master, until the end of time." she replied, leaning happily into my hug. "And…Even after that, I'll find a way to stay by your side. Teehee~…"

My arm lingered around Fifi's shoulders, perhaps for a bit too long, but I couldn't quite figure out how to respond to her words, especially not when they were combined with the sweet, innocent look of devotion she was giving me. I gave her another squeeze, then put my head down and let out a small sigh. I didn't want to just brush her off again, I'd already been prickly enough to her all day as it was about her little displays, and I hadn't meant to be. She was only trying to show her love, just like she always did. To be honest, I… Never could respond to her very well in these situations. I just… I don't know. My heart always gets all jumpy when she says things like that, and I get a lump in my throat… I usually just try to change the subject or move past it before I start to notice it, like I'd been doing all day, but when I don't… It doesn't really make me feel that uncomfortable at all, it makes me feel…

…Happy.

But… That's how it should make me feel, right? Knowing that she cares for me so deeply, so passionately… That shouldn't make me feel uncomfortable, but it's… Kind of overwhelming. I…

…I don't know. I don't know how I feel about it… I don't know how I _should_ feel about it… I can keep telling myself it's innocent and I'm reading into things too much, but then…

Why do I keep having such vivid, messed up dreams about her…?

That one earlier today was just… That was almost too much. But it was only the latest and strongest dream I've had about her along those lines as of late. And every time I have one, it makes it harder and harder for me to just ignore these things and convince myself that they bother me… It had been a couple days since I last had one, what with LeMasters weighing so heavily on my thoughts, so I've been able to build up my defenses pretty well, but… That last one is still so clear and fresh on my mind… I can only imagine I had it due to what my parents dropped on me getting me all paranoid and shit, but… I dunno. Even with everything else that's gone on today, my mind just keeps wanting to drift back to Fifi… And, come to think of it, that's been the case since these dreams started up. I would think these damn things would make me feel even more uncomfortable about everything, but they don't, not really… If anything, they just make me feel… Conflicted. It's almost as if I…

As if I…

… _As if you_ want _her to say those things to you._

What…? N-No… That's… No. That's fucked up.

 _Is it, though? You just admitted that you have to willingly convince yourself that they bug you. Plus, the things she says in those dreams aren't much different from what she really says to you on a daily basis. 'I love you so much, Stone~! I love you more than anything~! You make me happier than anyone or anything else ever could~!' She's not exactly hiding it, you know._

…Th-That's not… She's j-just…

 _No… You know her better than that by now. Stop lying to yourself. You know exactly what she means when she says those things. A person doesn't say the kinds of things she says unless they well and truly mean them. You can hear it in her voice, you can see it in her eyes._ _Do you really think you're fooling yourself anymore than she is? You don't_ really _try to stop her from saying those things, because you don't want her to stop. You could put your foot down and put an end to this anytime you want, but you don't. And you won't._

But… I just… I don't want to hurt her… She's… She's my best friend…

 _That's not why. You don't stop her because you like it when she says those kinds of things to you._

N-No…

 _Yes, you do. In fact, you_ love _it._

No.

 _Yes. As you said, you only act like it bothers you, but deep down, it never really has, has it? You love it so much when she talks to you like that, it makes you so happy, you can't stop thinking about it. You can't stop thinking about_ her _. To the point where she occupies your dreams on a near nightly basis, telling you all the things you want to hear from her, and doing all the things you want her to do to-  
_

No!

 _Yes! Why else would you dream about her in such a way? You're just as obsessed with her as she is with you. She makes you happier than anyone or anything else ever could. More than your family, more than the Teddies. Just admit it. You love-_

NO! STOP-

 _ **You love her!**_ _How could you_ not _love her? She makes you feel so good, so happy, just by being around her! How many times today alone has she managed to put a smile on your face when you were feeling absolutely fucking miserable? She makes you feel special, as if you aren't the huge, worthless piece of shit that you've convinced yourself that you are. And she is the_ only _one who makes you feel that way. She is the only one who is capable of making you feel truly happy. And you know she feels the same way towards you! You're all she wants, and you want nothing more than to make her happy! Why is this so difficult? Who else is ever going to love you even a fraction as much as she does? She's devoted to you! She's one in a million! She's happy just to be with you! She's-_

SHE'S A FUCKING _**POKÉMON**_!

…

… _Yes. Yes she is._

She's my… Pokémon…

… _Does that really matter to you?_

…S-Stop it. Please… I can't… I can't allow myself to think this way. It's wrong. It's fucked up. It's so, so fucked up…

 _It shouldn't be. She loves you. You love her. That should be all that matters._

…That's not how it works. But, even if it did, it wouldn't matter anyway, because I don't feel that way towards her. At all. And she doesn't think of me like that, either. I'm a fucking idiot, is all. A paranoid, disgusting idiot. It's not my fault I dream about her like that, I'm a horny teenage boy, and she's my best friend that I hang around almost constantly, so of course I'm going to dream about her, I've _always_ dreamt about her, just not… N-Not like _that_ … But that's just my stupid hormones, if Clary had stayed in my life, I'd probably be having those dreams about her instead. But that's all it is either way, just stupid, dumb ass dreams that don't mean anything. She's never been anywhere near as forward or amorous towards me in reality. I'm not… I'm _**not**_ in love with my fucking Pokémon, for Christ's sake. That's just… Fucking absurd…

 _But I thought she wasn't just your Pokémon. I thought she was your friend. That's what you keep telling everyone else, isn't it?_

…Just… Shut up already. All that means is that I'm just as shitty of a friend to her as I am a trainer. I'm a piece of shit, plain and simple. She deserves so much better…

 _You know she doesn't think any of that._

She doesn't know any better. But I do. And it's my responsibility to keep her from getting hurt. Which is what I'm doing.

… _You do realize I am literally_ you _, right? It's… Kind of impossible to hide things from yourself. You can try to block me out and push me back all you want, but I'm still a part of you. And I'm not scared of everything like you are. It doesn't matter how much you don't want to hear it, ignoring things and lying to yourself won't change the facts._

Yeah, well, there's a reason I shut you out. I'm not scared of everything, I'm just thinking rationally, something your horrendously impulsive ass is incapable of doing. You think I can just… No, you're a fucking idiot. You heard what mom and dad said. You saw the way they looked at me. Fifi is my Pokémon. And _only_ my Pokémon.

 _You're not actually going to listen to them, though-_

Abso-fucking-lutely not, when do I _ever_ do that? Dumbass. But no, regardless of how _I_ see her, Fifi is still technically 'my' Pokémon, and that is all my parents or anyone else will ever see her as. Do you really think… I mean, look at how badly my own parents react just to the way she talks to me, and how I treat her. Do you really think anyone would see things as they really are? Get real. I'm not that naïve. I know what people would say. 'Ermahgerd, you can't be in a relationship with your Pokémon! What's wrong with you?! You own her! Dat's disgusting! Dat's rape! You're taking advantage of her! You're a freak!' They'll ignore the part where she walks, talks, and acts more like a fucking human than she ever has as a Pokémon, the part where I don't fucking _own_ her because she's perfectly capable of making her own Goddamned decisions and I don't treat her like anything less than another fucking person. People won't see any of that, because they'll never look past the fur and the Pokéball. They'll never see the Fifi that I see. The Fifi that I…

… _Heh. Finally going to admit it, eh?_

…Shut up. I'm not admitting shit.

 _But you've actually thought about it._

Of course, you know I have, idiot. I've thought about it enough to realize that acting on it would be the single biggest mistake I could ever make, the fuckup to end all fuckups. I'm not about to ruin either of our lives anytime soon just to please my dick, thank you very much.

 _I think you're confusing your dick with your heart there._

Same fucking difference! That's just semantics; it's all the same in the end. I'm a fucking freak to the world either way.

 _No… Not really. If it were just your dick talking, you wouldn't be having so many reservations about how everyone else would react._ I _would know, after all. This shit gets to you the same way all those cheesy 80's ballads you love do, straight to your heart. So why don't you take their advice, and listen to it for once?_

…Look, you know perfectly fucking well why I can't do that, what more do you want?

 _The same thing_ you _want. Fifi._

…Augh. There's no point in… Doing whatever this is I'm doing. Am I seriously arguing with myself? About… About fucking… My deepest, darkest secret? Fine… Alright, whatever. I…

…I love Fifi.

There.

I said it.

 _Of course you love her. But, do you just love her as your Pokémon, or-_

No, I fucking **_love_ ** her, alright?! I want her to be the one I spend the rest of my life with! I don't fucking want or need anyone else, I don't give a shit what mom and dad or anyone else thinks! Do you have any idea how much I want to be able to actually say that out loud? To be able to take her in my arms and actually tell her that, and see her face light up with so much joy and happiness and ecstasy? Do you think I _LIKE_ deluding myself into thinking I don't feel this way about her? Do you have _any_ inkling of an idea how long it took for me to build up that wall and convince myself that these feelings weren't real? That they were misguided and that I should feel wrong for even letting them enter into my mind in the first place? Or how much I've had to fight these damned dreams I've been having, and the horrible fucking urges they've been giving me? And you just decide to fucking destroy it all, just to prove a point and make me admit to something that you already know? Okay, you want to prove a point? You wanna know what? I _don't_ actually feel bad about it at all! Why the fuck should I feel bad about it?! What has Fifi ever done to make me feel anything but love for her? Love that just keeps growing stronger and stronger every time she fucking tells me how much I mean to her and how she can't stand to be without me, or every time she goes out of her way to cheer me up or boost my confidence when that self-loathing bastard part of me rears his ugly ass head and does everything in his power to sabotage me… Even if I've convinced myself otherwise… And I will continue to do so, because I am not… I'm not an idiot. So… Are you happy now? Now that I've admitted to the thing I've tried harder to hide from myself and everyone else than anything else in my life? The thing that would ruin both Fifi's life and my own if anyone were to find out?

… _No. Not really._

…Yeah, me neither… God, I've got such an awful headache now…

 _Well, no shit, you're literally arguing with yourself, dummy. Your pea brain is probably splitting in two from the strain._

Gee, thanks for the support…

 _Happy to help!_

…Help? _This_ is your idea of helping?

 _Sure is! You've finally admitted the truth to yourself, do you realize how liberating that feels?_

If by 'liberating' you mean 'crushingly depressing and shameful', then yes. This feels very 'liberating'.

 _Baby steps, as they say. Admittance, begrudging or not, is the first step towards acceptance, and once you've fully accepted it yourself, then you should have no problem admitting it to the world._

Oh yes, and then the world won't have any problem at all accepting me afterwards, right? And then I can be admitted to an insane asylum, and I can accept that fate, because I am obviously fucking nuts, conversing with myself like this.

 _I wouldn't say 'fucking nuts', per se, you're just… Er… Well, let me rephrase that… I wouldn't say 'obviously', per se, because at least you're keeping this all in your head, right?_

…This is why I fucking hate myself so much. Jesus _Christ_ …

"…Hey, uh, is he… Alright…?"

… **Oh _fuck_**.

"H-Huh? Oh, y-yeah, he's just… Got a lot on his mind…"

My eyes shot open and I lifted my head, only to see Fifi and Axel both giving me strange, worried looks. I suddenly realized was still holding onto Fifi and clutching her to my side. And I had probably been doing so for several minutes now in dead silence. I... HHHHHHHHHHHHHH _HHHHHHHHH_ _ **HHHHHHHHHHHHHHNGHJESUSFUCKINGCHRISTWHATISWRONGWITHME?!**_

"Um… N-No, I…" I began, still clinging onto Fifi. I swiftly released her before continuing. "I-I just have a lot on my mind, that's all."

Fifi blinked up at me in confusion. "…That's… What I just said, master…"

…Oh. Right. She did say that, and not that I was arguing with myself like a lunatic. Why did I hear that?

"…You, uh, _sure_ he's alright…?" Axel asked Fifi, shooting me a shifty look. I quickly interjected before she could respond, perfectly capable of answering that myself.

"No, really, I'm fine. I was just spacing out and arguing with myself, happens all the time, right Fi?"

Fifi stared back at me with another look of bewilderment. She seemed to be hesitating to answer, and I… WAIT, FUCK, _**WHY DID I SAY THAT?!**_

"H-Ha, j-just kidding!" I blurted, nearly choking on my spit in the process. "That uh, that never happens, ever, that would make me a lunatic! Haha! Obviously! I was just… Uh… W-What you had said, Fi, it uh, it got that song stuck in my head, you know the one, 'Whoooooa, until the end of time!' You know, my favorite BJ song!"

The look of confusion on Fifi's face only seemed to be growing deeper with every word that came out of my mouth. "That's… Not at all how the song goes, though…"

"…Also, not to, er, interrupt, but, uh, your favorite… _'BJ song'_?" Axel questioned, giving me a look that was downright dubious at this point. "Do I… Do I even want to know, dude…?"

The lump in my throat had returned with a vengeance, as I stammered and struggled to think of something, _anything_ to say at this point that wouldn't implicate me as any more of a psychopath than I already was.

"…I mean, if you don't know who BJ is, then no, probably not." I said with a shrug, the look of relief on Axel's face trumped only by my own. Turning to Fifi, I motioned for her to get up before doing the same myself and turning back to Axel. "Uh, my bad, though, didn't mean to zone out like that and keep you sitting there in awkward silence for… God, however long that was…"

"No worries, dude, it was only a minute or two." Axel said with a shrug of his own, before letting out a small, awkward-sounding chuckle. "You kinda just stopped talking, I figured you were thinking of something to say, but then you just... Never did, haha. I didn't know if I should, uh, interrupt your thinking, you were shaking your head and letting out some fierce mumbles there for a while. It was… Actually kind of entertaining, I won't lie." He let out a much more natural sounding laugh, and never had I been so relieved to have someone laughing at my expense. Compared to the alternative… "I get what you're saying, though. I got a lot on my mind too, I wasn't really expecting to be taking part in this thing as anything other than a spectator. So, no need to come up with some ridiculous cover story for my sake, I feel you, bro. It's a lot of pressure, particularly given who we both have for, ahem, ' _partners_ '."

"…Yeah, ha, you're right." I said, giving him a sheepish grin and breathing the most intense of internal sighs. "I'm just nervous, that's all. Being close to Fifi like that helps keep me calm, but uh, I guess I kind of let myself relax a bit too much there… Hey, but, I think I've wasted enough of your time, I should probably leave you in peace so you can strategize before your match starts, sorry again about that, ehehe…"

"No need to apologize, dude, you didn't waste my time at all, it's not like I had much else to be doing other than waiting anyways." Axel said, shaking his head and standing up himself. He gave me a good natured grin, then stuck his hand out. "Best of luck, though, God knows we're both gonna need it."

"Ha, ain't that the truth." I said, gladly accepting his handshake. "I think mine and Fifi's only chance is if our opponents decide to just focus their attacks on Assy's overpowered monsters and ignore Fifi completely…"

"Hey, that's as valid a strategy as any, given the circumstances." Axel replied. "But yeah, there's probably not much time left before the matches start, so I'd better go and prepare as best as I can, and let you do the same. Seeya, dude."

"Good luck!" Fifi and I called out in unison as Axel disappeared back around the bend where the others were, leaving me and Fifi alone. I leaned against the wall and let out a massive, groaning sigh once he was finally gone. God, if I could just act like a normal person for one minute, that would be so nice…

"…H-Hey, Stone… What… What was that all about…?"

I looked down at Fifi and began to shrug, but she quickly and forcefully shook her head at me before I could properly respond, giving me a sulky look.

"And don't even _try_ to bullshit me, there is no way in hell that you would ever botch the title of one of your favorite songs like that."

…Hngh…

"…It… It wasn't really something I said, was it…?" she asked, her ears falling flat along with her voice.

I immediately shook my head at her as she stared at me with totally misplaced regret. "No, of course not, Fi."

"…Are you sure?" she asked quietly, her demeanor a far cry from the confident, determined Fifi that had been there just minutes earlier. "I… I didn't mean to embarrass you, I just…"

"What? You didn't embarrass me, Fi." I said, smiling gently at her. "Heck, _I'm_ the one that was hugging you for like, an hour straight, if anyone should be embarrassed, it should be you!"

"H-Huh?" Fifi said, quickly shaking her head and looking down. "No, you didn't embarrass me, master, you know I don't mind at all when you show me affection, but… I know you weren't hugging me that whole time, you just forgot where you were, and you only ever do that when you're really deep in thought, and… You just stopped responding completely after I said that… S-Stuff. I-I would have snapped you out of it sooner, but you… You didn't look happy. I could sense you were… Your emotions were all over the place…"

…Ah, fuck… I forgot, Fifi's psychic link to me was much stronger when she was in close contact with me… And that was about as close as we could get without… F-Fuck…

"Oh, n-no, don't worry, master, I-I didn't pry…" Fifi quickly added after seeing the look of distress on my face. "Y-You know I would never do that to you… But I just… I didn't mean to… That goopy stuff I said about staying by your side until the end of time, I-I wasn't… I wasn't thinking, a-and I know, I know you hate it when I say that kind of stuff around other people, but I… I didn't mean to, I told myself I wouldn't… Um, th-that is, that kind of stuff just slips out sometimes… But I promise, I won't… I'll stop saying those kinds of things to you in public… I'm sorry, master… I mean, Stone…"

A massive, overwhelming sense of guilt instantly washed over me as I looked at Fifi with regret. Completely warranted, not at all misplaced regret.

 _Way to go, asshole._

Stay out of this, you turd. This is all your fault. If you wouldn't have distracted me and just left well enough alone… Gah… I'm not doing this again!

"F-Fi, hey, w-wait a minute, I…" I began, quickly glancing around to make sure no one else was around before kneeling down so I could talk more privately to Fifi. "…I never said I hated it when you say those things… I mean, yeah, I don't really…" …Hngh. So much for being able to admit things… "…No, It's just… It's not that I don't like it when you say those things to me. That's… Nothing could be further from the truth, alright? It makes me really, really happy to hear you say those things about me, it's just…"

"…I-I know…" Fifi said softly, her hopeful gaze fading in an instant. "…You don't want people getting the wrong idea…"

"R-Right…" I said without thinking, my heart somehow dropping even further as I caught her reactionary wince. Fuck… I… I wasn't in the right state of mind for this… I haven't had a chance to build my walls back up yet…

 _This is the perfect time for this, then._

Sh-Shut up…

"…I'm sorry, Stone… You don't need to be worrying about this stuff now, we're supposed to be… We should be getting ready… Y-You need confidence, and instead of helping I'm just distracting you and annoying you with my stupid clinginess. I'm such an idiot…"

"No you're not." I said, gently placing my hand on her shoulder and looking her in the eyes. Fuck… D-Don't start crying, Fi… "Look, FI, I… If you want to know the truth… I… I don't actually…" Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck, what am I doing… "…I don't have any problem with you saying those things. At all. I legit fucking love it more than anything when you say those things to me, they make me feel… N-Nice…"

Fifi's eyes widened for a moment and she let out a sniffle, as she began studying my face with an intensity and scrutiny that I wasn't at all used to receiving from her. It didn't take long for her expression to falter again, however. Damn it… "…But… Y-You don't want me to…"

"It's not me, Fi. It's everyone else." I said plaintively, doing everything I could to stress my sincerity to her so she would stop crying. "They don't… They don't understand. They're not used to hearing a… Look, you know what I'm getting at here, right?" Fifi gave me a short, solemn nod in between sniffs. "Ah, man… Fi, you're killin' me here… You know I can't stand to see you cry, just… Anything bad or negative you're thinking, just forget about it, alright? I'm fine, you're fine, we're both fine, so there's no need to be upset, like, at all."

"…I just don't want to cause you any more stress, mas… Stone…" she replied, clearly not taking my words to heart at all.

"But… You aren't causing me any stress, Fi." I implored, not exactly truthfully. It wasn't at all her fault, though, so it wasn't _really_ a lie…

"…I am, though." she whimpered, breaking away from me as her face began to redden. "…I shouldn't say those things where others can hear me. You're right. But then… I really shouldn't be saying those things to you to begin with…"

My mouth had become bone dry without me realizing it. I could feel my own face beginning to burn as a well of emotions rose up within me, and I was suddenly powerless to stop them, my defenses still laying in shattered pieces all around me. I was afraid to open my mouth… I wasn't sure what was going to come out of it, but… It wouldn't be rational…

 _Rational, smational. Three little words are all you need to lift this awful, awkward weight of off both of your shoulders for eternity._

Eat. A. Dick. Those little enough for you?

"…I want you to be able to feel normal and fit in, Stone. I… I don't want to mess that up for you…"

"Fifi, please…" I said, doing everything in my power to shut my mind out completely before speaking. "You're not messing anything up. You're not doing anything wrong, not at all. Why are you… You never seemed to care much about any of this before, why are you all of a sudden so upset and worried about this? I told you, it really, truly does make me happy when you say those things to me. I may act like it bugs me, but… Please believe me when I say, it doesn't. Especially not when we're alone, don't be ridiculous."

"…Ah…" Fifi let out a strange little whimper, her back still turned to me as she shook her head. "…You know you don't have to lie for my sake, Stone."

I'm not lying, Fi!" I said, a bit too loudly for my liking. Thankfully, I hadn't been heard, but frustratingly, it hadn't really seemed to get Fifi's attention, either. "…Fi, come on… When have I ever lied to you about something like this? I would never do that to you, I know how much that would hurt."

Finally, she turned to look at me, albeit only halfway. She studied my face again for a good moment before speaking, still avoiding my gaze as she did so. "…E-Even so, Stone… I shouldn't be so… Goopy, as you say."

But… I love it when you're goopy, Fi… I don't care what bullshit I told you before…

 _Well, let her know that then, idiot!_

Don't you have an imaginary dick to be eating?

"…Listen, Stone…" Fifi began, at last turning around to face me again, giving me a full view of her burning, tear-streaked face. Even through that, she somehow found a way to smile at me, though it was anything but a happy one. "I'm glad I haven't actually upset you, and I know that I'm kind of… Okay, I'm really overreacting to everything at the moment. I'm sorry. I don't mean to be acting this way, it's just… This day has been rough on me too, and I'm… Not exactly in the best state emotionally right now. I've been… Selfish… So incredibly selfish… I'm trying to stay strong for you, but I'm… Really not thinking straight at all. It feels like my mind is betraying me…"

"Well, that makes two of us…" I said, letting out a small, hollow laugh. As my eyes met Fifi's, I stopped immediately, and that lump in my throat suddenly felt like a Goddamn boulder. She wasn't even trying to hide the sorrow in her eyes anymore, and the grief-filled look she was giving me was almost pleading for me to just let things go for now… But… If I could just… If there was something I could just say, or do, to make that sorrow and that grief disappear…

… _There is._

…

 _And it's really quite simple._

…

"…S-Stone…?" Fifi's voice was nearly inaudible, as she stared wide into my eyes, no doubt wondering as to why I was still gazing so deeply into hers. So many thoughts were running wild through my mind… What could I possibly…

 _…Tell her._

…No… I… I can't…

 _Just do it! Say it already! Do you plan on being a coward forever?!_

I-I told you… I'm not a fucking coward…

 _Then prove it! Prove it to yourself and to Fifi!_

…Ahh, f-fuck… I… "…F-Fi…"

Fifi remained silent, her mouth falling slightly agape as she looked just as unsure and confused as I was feeling.

My heart… My heart was pounding out of my chest… Th-This… A-Am I really going to…

 _Yes._

…A-All these people, though…! If any of them sees us…

 _Fuck them! What do they matter? All that matters is Fifi. She_ needs _you._

…She… Needs me…

"Stone…? W-What are you…"

…My hands were trembling as I placed them on Fifi's shoulders. As I did so, I realized just how violently she was trembling herself, and I did my best to calm her and hold her still, which, suffice to say, wasn't very successful. As I sat there, staring deeply into her vibrantly blue, tear-filled eyes, deeper than I ever had before in my life, I did everything I could to calm my tight, ragged breath before continuing… I only had one shot at this… I… I couldn't make a mistake…

…A… Mistake…

…This is…

 _No! Stop that! You're so close! You can do it!_

…Right…

I moved in slowly. The motion felt so right, so natural… It was almost… Automatic. Fifi gave no recoil or reluctance whatsoever as I slowly brought my face closer to hers and shifted my hands to her back so I could hold her closer. For a moment, her eyes shot open wide with shock, but slowly, they began to close, as did my own. Her own hands rested gently upon my chest, her fingers loosely grasping my shirt, and powerful shivers shot up and down my spine as my nose brushed ever so slightly against her velvety soft, delicate facial fur, my lips drawing close enough to hers to once again be able to taste her hot, sweet breath… I stopped just short, letting her scent waft into my nostrils, breathing it in deeply… I had never realized just how intoxicating it was before…

"…A-Ahh…?" Fifi's eyes had fluttered back open, if only a little. But it was enough to let me see in them the pure, unadulterated bliss that I had longed to bring to them for so long. "…M-Master… I-Is this… Am I…"

"Fifi…" My voice was shot, my throat so dry and ragged… But I had to tell her now… Before I…

 _That's right… You can't let this slip away… Just three little words…_

"…Fifi… I-"

" **GOD FUCKING DAMN IT, THERE YOU ARE!** "

My heart nearly jumped out of my throat at the sound of the screeching that suddenly made itself audible behind me. My blood froze, as did my mind, my body… I… Oh my God… What am I…

"You fucking _asshole_ , our match is getting ready to start, what the hell are you…"

…N-No… Fuck… F-Fuck…

"W-Wait… What the… What the _fuck_ …"

…G-God damn it… I… _**FUCK**_ _ **...!**_

"…What the fuck… Are you _doing_ …?"

…Oh God… N-No… Fifi… I… What… What _am_ I…

… _Shit. I was_ _… So close_ …

…I-Idiot… I-I'm such a…

"…You… You're fucking…"

I'm…

… _ **I'm fucking screwed…**_

* * *

A/N: Right, this seems like a good splitting point, don't you all agree? Apologies for the lack of promised action-packedness. Next chapter, probably, unless things get out of hand again and I accidentally devote another chapter to a character conversing with themselves like I did with this one. This chapter just kind of accidentally happened, but I'm assuming this is the kind of stuff most of y'all are reading this for anyways, so hopefully this was enough content to satisfy until the next update. Which, hopefully, will be within a week or two, assuming I can keep my chapters short enough and my motivation high enough. Anyways, hope y'all enjoyed or at least weren't too disappointed, have a good day/night and shit and yeah, see you sooner rather than later, with any luck.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: S'up. My usual apologies for the wait, no excuse this time other than bad old fashioned laziness, I'm afraid. I have come bearing a shorter chapter, though, since multiple people here and on AO3 reacted positively to the suggestion. I'm actually feeling kind of tentative about posting it, because I don't feel like much happens in it, but eh, I figured most of you would appreciate something now rather than having to wait another week or more for a few thousand words more. Plus, if you've made it this far, I assume you also enjoy dialogue as much as I do. But uh, yeah, if you have any opinions on the chapter length, drop me a line and let me know. I'm used to 10,000 word behemoth chapters, so I'm not exactly sure what most people consider a normal length. Anyhow, many thanks as always to those who have reviewed, I've never gotten as much feedback on a chapter as I have between here and AO3 for the last one, that was pretty fucking rad. And of course, thanks to those who have faved and followed and generally are just lurking and reading as well. I suppose I've probably driven this point home to the point of obnoxiousness by now, so uh, I guess just assume my thanks for you all from here on out. Right, onto review replies.

painfulldarksoul: ...Huehuehuehuehuehue...Not yet, but... Ahue...

FlukeNuk: Aw yeah, my favorite kind of thing to write, what luck!

Someone: Well, I'm nothing if not creepy. Also thanks, I try.

Anyways yeah, here's this guff, enjoy.

* * *

Okay… Okay, this is… Fine. I can fix this… I can…

"…You… You're seriously…"

…Shit. No. No I can't. Fuck. _Fuck!_ What am I doing…? This is… I can't… I can't even move… My mind is… F-Fuck… What is _WRONG_ with me? Why did I fucking think… Hngh… Fifi… I'm…

"He's grooming me, you creep. What else could he _possibly_ be doing?"

My eyes opened for the first time since Assy's unexpected screeching had caused my heart to nearly evacuate itself from me, to see Fifi directing a particularly nasty glare beyond me in presumably Assy's direction.

"…Grooming?" Assy repeated, as if it were the first time he had ever heard the word in his life.

"Yeah, _duh_." Fifi responded in about as condescending of a tone as she was capable of, gently pushing herself away from me and folding her arms as she continued to glower at Assy. "If I'm going to be going out there and performing in front of hundreds of people, I need to look my absolute best, after all. Of course, someone as inbred as you wouldn't know the first thing about proper grooming habits, would you? Obviously not, judging by how your teeth are the same color as my fur and I can smell you from over here."

"…Seriously?" Assy began, his voice uncharacteristically quiet as he processed Fifi's words. As I finally worked up the nerve to turn and face him myself, I could see he was shaking his head and had an absolutely disgusted expression on his face, almost as if he had just smelled himself for the first time in his life. That… Probably wasn't a good sign. Fuck… "You… You seriously expect me to believe that shit? Because that… That is…"

His head just kept shaking more and more, and he looked as if the rest of his sentence was so vile to him that he couldn't even bring himself to utter it. Fuuuuuuuuck… Of all the fucking people… Our lives are going to get destroyed by _this_ dipshit? Fuck, I can't believe how big of a fucking screwup I am… God… Fifi… I can't believe I… _Fuck_. As Assy let out a disgusted, disgusting sounding grunt, I shut my eyes, unable to face my life's executioner as he delivered my judgment and announced it for all to hear. A coward to the fucking end… Such a worthless piece of shit… How could I fucking do this to her-

"That is… _The gayest fucking thing I have ever heard in my_ _ **life**_ _!_ "

…What.

"Holy _shit_ , are you fucking serious?" Assy said, his face contorting into a wicked grin as he let out a snort. "You fucking _groom your Pokémon_ for battle? God _damn_ , just when I thought you couldn't be any fucking lamer… No fucking wonder you're hiding out over here, I wouldn't want anyone else to see me doing something so fucking pathetic either! Heeheehuoahawhawhaw!"

…Holy shit. Oh my sweet, merciful Christ in Heaven above, holy shit… Never in a million fucking years would I have ever thought I'd be happy or relieved in any way to hear a sound as horrendous and ear-splitting as Assy's bizarre tittering guffaws… As I turned to give a quick, thankful glance to Fifi, she gave me a small, relieved smirk of her own. God, but she looked like a mess… How Assy could ever believe this was the result of proper grooming, I couldn't even… But… F-Fuck, that was… It's all my fault she looks so awful and disheveled in the first place… God, what am I… How am I going to…

"Stone…" Fifi said quietly, nodding and motioning towards Assy to direct my attention back his way, reminding me that now was not the best time to get lost in her eyes again. God, I'm… _I'm_ a mess…

"…Fuckin' hell, dude…" Assy said, once he had finished spreading his toxic fumes everywhere. "I can't believe I'm stuck with your ass… I just can't… But fuck, I guess it can't be helped. Get your bitch ass and your bitch's ass up and let's go already, our match is getting ready to start and I will be damned if you make me look like a fucking nub by showing up late!"

"Yeah, yeah." I said, rolling my eyes and waving him off as he sneered at me and shot around the corner. "Like you need any fucking help with that…"

As I attempted to push myself up, I soon realized, too late of course, that both of my legs had gone numb and fallen asleep from sitting on them for so long, and I stumbled just to prop myself up against the wall, nearly falling over in the process.

"S-Stone!" Fifi exclaimed in distress as she rushed over to help me stay steady. "Are you-"

"I'm fine, Fi, legs just went numb." I quickly said, giving her as reassuring of a smile as I was capable of mustering. "Shit, that was almost a fucking disaster, though. Thank God you're such a quick thinker, Fi, you just saved our asses, big time. God, I'm so relieved right now, I could kiss… Y-You…" My smile faded in an instant once the words that had spilled from my mouth registered with me, replaced with more overwhelming numbness as the weight of what I had almost done just moments ago came rushing back to the forefront of my mind and came crashing down upon me. Fifi's breath seemed to catch in her throat, and she immediately lowered her gaze, though her misty eyes stayed firmly locked with mine. Her lip began to quiver, and her hands were clasped in front of her chest, her fingers fidgeting nervously as she looked for all the world as if she had something to say, but was seemingly fighting with herself not to, and I…

Hngh…

OH MY FUCKING GOD, _FUCKING **SERIOUSLY**_? OF ALL THE FUCKING THINGS I COULD SAY, I FUCKING SAY _THAT_? AM I FUCKING _TRYING_ TO MAKE THINGS EVEN WORSE?!

 _Can't blame me for that one, genius. Speaking without thinking, that was alllll you, buddy._

Fuck… Why do I ever bother opening my mouth, I never fucking say the right thing, all I ever do is-

"…Master…"

A powerful shudder rushed throughout my entire body as Fifi grasped my hand, clasping onto it with both of hers and squeezing it with a gentle, tender firmness. She stared up at me just as firmly, her lip no longer quivering and without so much as a hint of trepidation on her face. I could feel every beat of her heart as she held my hand softly against her chest, her hands quivering but her grip unwavering, clutching onto it so dearly, as if she felt she would never be able to hold it again if she let go… Tears were beginning to form in her eyes again, but she seemed to be doing everything in her power to fight them back, and as she finally began to speak, she did so with a quiet, steady conviction.

"Stone… I know now really isn't the time for this, but… I don't know if I'll ever have another chance. I have to… I need you to know, before you… Stop… Feeling like this, and before I… Before I lose my nerve and convince myself not to…"

My legs, rather than regain any of their feeling, had instead only grown number and weaker, and they had slowly given out. I slid back down into a sitting position, and was suddenly back at eye level with Fifi again. She took the opportunity without a moment's hesitation, slipping one of her hands into my free one so that she now had a grip on both of them, then kneeled down directly in front of me so that there was no trace of personal space left between us. Her beautiful blue eyes, still trying so hard to remain resolute and determined, were beginning to falter, an undeniable sorrow filling them as she struggled to keep her tears from falling.

"Everything I say, Stone, everything I tell you, I don't care what other people think, I don't care who hears it… I mean every word. I… I love you, Stone. I love you so, so much… And I'm not saying this as a Pokémon speaking to her trainer, this is… This is Fifi speaking to Stone. My best friend. My… My love… I can't keep holding this in any longer… I don't want to. Now that I know that you… Th-That you…"

Fifi's gaze drifted downwards, as she shut her eyes tightly and shook her head before quickly looking back up at me with a pleading, almost desperate stare. "Ahh… B-But I don't… I… I can't just assume… Please, Stone… I need to know… D-Do you… Do you really… Feel that way about me…? Do you… Love me, master…?"

Fifi… You already know the answer to that…

… _There's no point in hiding it anymore, you know. You've already gone past the point of no return. If you lie to her now…_

…I know. I don't know what I'm going to do… I'm… Fucked. But…

I'm not going to hurt you, Fi.

Lifting my hand loose from hers, I brought it up to her cheek, wiping away the single tear that she hadn't been able to stop herself. I let it rest there, gently caressing her angelically soft face as I had done so many times before when her anxiety got the better of her and I had to reassure her that everything would be alright, that I would always be there for her to keep her safe and happy. And…

I meant every word, too.

I **_will_ ** always be there for you, Fi. Now, and for forever. You're the most important and precious thing in my life. Nothing else even comes close. Fuck what everyone else thinks. No one could ever take your place, Fi.

… _Well, what are you waiting for, then? Tell her, tell her everything. Stop holding it all inside, you know you don't want to hide it anymore, either._

Right…

I lowered my hand, letting it reunite it with Fifi's. The numbness that had overtaken my body had seemingly finally made its way to my mind, as all of my worries, my reservations, my fears, all went away, if only for the briefest moment. And I wasn't about to let that moment go to waste. I lowered my gaze and gave Fifi a smile. Now or never, Stone.

"Fifi, I-"

" _ **GOD FUCKING DAMN IT, HURRY YOUR FUCKING ASS UP AND GET THE FUCK OUT HERE ALREADY, TARDACRE!**_ "

…Hhhhngh. For _fuck's_ sake…

All at once, we both seemed to remember where we were, and Fifi hastily pulled her hands away from mine and scrambled to her feet. She let out a small cough as she turned away from me to face the wall, and began doing what she could to make herself look presentable again in the nonexistent amount of time we had left to do so. As I pushed myself back up and did the same, she turned back to me, and though at first she seemed to have returned to her normal, cheerful self, ready to go out there and act like nothing was out of the ordinary whatsoever, her expression soon doured, and she gave me a solemn, plaintive look.

"Sorry, I'm… Distracting you again." she said with a small sigh, before biting her lip. "We should get a move on. But… Please, Stone, just… Promise… P-Promise me, that once this is over and we're both thinking clearly again, that you won't… You won't forget… That this… P-Please… I just… I need to hear you say it…"

As I opened my mouth to tell her the words she so longed to hear and put it out of her mind that I would ever again pretend otherwise, she quickly shook her head and gave me a small smile.

N-No, not now, master… We'll have plenty of time later, once we have some actual privacy and can't be interrupted… But right now, we should focus on the task at hand."

"…Alright." I said, nodding to her as she smiled and shifted seemingly effortlessly back into her usual bubbly and carefree self. As we made our way back out into the main room to meet up with Assy before he permanently damaged anyone's hearing, I did my best to bring my own emotions back under control and act normal, but I was nowhere near as skilled at doing so as Fifi was. How can I possibly focus on battling now? My mind is shattered and my heart is doing cartwheels, all I want to do is… Hngh…

 _Well, it's like she said. You'll have plenty of time for that later tonight when you guys get back to your room and have some proper alone time. Who knows, she might even want to show you more affection than just a mere kiss…_

…F-Fuck… S-Stop that… You're not helping matters at all. That is… The last fucking thing I need to be thinking about right now, do you want me to pop a fucking boner in front of the entire school or something? Jeez…

 _Oh. Whoops. Yeah, that would be pretty bad. Forget I said anything._

Yeah, no, kinda hard to do that now. Asshole.

 _Look, just… Look at it like this. You know what you want to say, and you know how she's going to react. You have nothing at all to worry about, and only things to look forward to, so let tonight be the prize. And it doesn't matter whether you win or lose, because the booby prize is the same as the grand prize. Granted, Fifi doesn't really have boobs, per se, but-_

HOLY FUCK, WILL YOU STOP?!

 _Oh, right… Sorry, I can't help it that you have such a dirty mind._

…God, why don't you just go and crawl back into whatever mental crevice I had you stuffed in in the first place? You've done more than enough to fuck things up already, I don't think I can take much more of your 'help'.

 _Hey, you know you're the one that's giving me a voice in the first place, right? I'm only making myself heard because you're allowing it. I'm still you, after all, and that means any lewd thoughts I have about Fifi are actually lewd thoughts that_ you're _having about her. But okay, suit yourself. I'm sure I'll be back soon enough, when you need my help again._

…Ugh. What a fucking mess…

* * *

"Ah,j-jeez, that's… A whole lot of people…"

As I stood alongside Stone, staring out into the all-encompassing crowd of people that surrounded us on all sides, I couldn't keep myself from smirking at his stating of the obvious.

"No, you don't say. We were a part of that just a short while ago, master, didn't you realize that then?"

"Hey, i-it's a lot different being here on center stage than it is being out there…" he murmured back, his face ghostly white. "It doesn't feel like its only been a short while since we were out there, either… It feels like its been weeks…"

I shifted uncomfortably on my feet at Stone's words. He… Wasn't exactly wrong. So much had happened since we had been out there in the crowd… B-But, I can't allow myself to think about any of that right now… And I can't allow him to, either.

"Aw, come on, Stone. I thought _I_ was the one with the crippling social anxiety." I teased, directing a giggle at his unnecessarily frazzled expression. "Since when have you had stage fright?"

"I-I don't have stage fright…" he replied, scrunching up his face and folding his arms. "I just… I-I don't know, I wasn't expecting to be doing this my first day here…"

"It's nothing to freak out over, though." I said. "This isn't any different than one of your baseball games, or, heck, one of your, ahem, 'wrestling matches'. Just treat this like one of those!"

"…Yeah, alright…" he muttered in response, before letting out a disgruntled sigh. "Those haven't been in front of nearly so many people, though…"

"Come on, Stone." I said, giving his hand a discrete, reassuring squeeze. "Stop worrying so much. You know how ridiculous it is when _I_ have to be the voice of reason about something like this, don't you?"

Stone looked at me for a moment, then closed his eyes and let out a small, stressed laugh. "Yeah, you're right, Fi. I know you are. I'm sorry, I'm not really worried about the crowd, I just… Got a lot on my mind still."

I frowned inwardly. Damn it…

"God, you both look like shit."

Both mine and Stone's attention turned, unfortunately, to Assy, as he sidled his way over to us, presumably just to cuss at us some more. Leering from Stone to me, he let out an awful laugh.

"Jesus, you're fucking terrible at grooming, Tardacre, both your girlfriend _and_ yourself. And y'all have the gall to say _I'm_ bad at it? Get fucked."

"That point still stands. At least we know what soap is." Stone said, gagging slightly as Assy's aroma molested our nostrils. "Did you come all this way just to say that, Assy?"

"All this way?" Assy repeated. "You retard, I was literally standing ten feet away from you."

"I was being facetious." Stone said dully.

"What the fuck?" Assy replied, his face taking on a look of disgust. "Yo, at least when I let one rip, I don't fucking announce it to other people. The fuck, dude?"

Stone glanced at me with a 'what the fuck' look, blinking in utter confusion for a moment, before letting out a massive groan and facepalming. "Oh God, not _flatulent_ , you idiot. How the fuck would that even… God, nevermind, just… What do you want, Assy?"

Assy shook his head and sneered, sending what I hoped was just dandruff flying everywhere. "Nothing, dillweed. I'm just here to make sure we're both on the same page before our match starts."

"Oh yeah?" Stone replied. "And what page is that, Assy?"

"The one that says 'stay out of my fucking way if you know what's good for you'." Assy said, jutting his finger at Stone's chest, but of course not daring to actually poke him with it with me standing so close. "I ain't about to lose my shot at instant glory on account of your pussy ass not wanting your prissy little fox bitch to break a claw or scuff her pwecious wittwe fur or something lame and gay like that. Y'all can just sit back and let the big boys, I.E., me and my Brokémon, do all the work. Don't worry, I'm sure you'll get some sort of hanger's on points for being my totally unneeded and unnecessary partner. That's all you could ever hope to be, after all, just a hanger on to someone bigger and better than you, like a moist turd hanging onto the hairy butthole of a genius. Basically what I'm trying to say is, you're just a turd. A… _Turdacre_ , you might say. Heh."

Stone looked at Assy in stunned, cringed silence for a moment before finally regaining enough composure to respond. "…Dude. _Bro_. First off, nobody should _ever_ say the words 'moist' and 'turd' OR 'hairy' and 'butthole' together for ANY reason, and you just did both in the same sentence. Second, Tardacre is acceptable, not particularly witty or original, but acceptable, because it's only one letter off from my actual name, but Turdacre is a bastardization of a bastardization. Basically what I'm trying to say is, you're trying _way_ too hard. A… _Tryhardacre_ , you might say. _You_ in particular, because you're an idiot and only an idiot like you might say something so incredibly stupid."

"God, you're such a fucking faggot."

"God, you're such a fucking dipshit."

"-and so, without further ado, let us all give a warm round of applause to our first tightly-knit team of competitors, Mr. Rumpus Banstead and Mr. Stone Hardacre!"

"Shitlhead!"

"Fuckface!"

"I know you are but what am I?!"

"A smelly inbred dingus, that's what!"

"Ah, S-Stone…" I whispered, tugging on his shirt to try and get his attention.

"Huh? What is it, Fi?" he said, looking at me in slight annoyance over breaking up his and Assy's 'conversation', totally oblivious to the professor's introduction, and to the fact that his and Assy's childish bitchfest was being displayed on the big screen for everyone to see.

"Ah, Mr. Banstead, Mr. Hardacre, still hard at work coming up with strategies, I see!" the professor said loudly, letting out an incredibly forced laugh and holding it until Stone and Assy realized what was going on. Assy quickly separated himself from us with one final sneer and utterance of 'butthole licker', stepping out into the center of the stage's spotlight to hog it up and act like the fucking putz he was.

"Thank God, I can breathe through my nose again." Stone muttered once Assy was out of smelling range. He continued muttering to himself under his breath, continuing his conversation with Assy, by the sound of it.

"Stone, you're not really letting that idiot get under your skin, are you?" I asked, putting my hand on my hip.

"What? No! Of course not!" Stone replied, folding his arms and shaking his head. "I'm just not about to let him think he's won, is all."

"Won what?" I asked, narrowing my eyes. "That name calling pissing contest to determine who the biggest child is?"

"N-No, that's…" he began, fumbling over his words as his head shaking only got more defensive. "I mean in general, Fi. He's an asshole. And you know I don't like assholes, Fi."

"I know you don't, Stone, neither do I." I said, softening my tone. "That's what got us acquainted with Assy in the first place, remember? Our chronically low asshole tolerance levels. But, that's the thing, Stone, we already beat him, literally. So there's no need to waste your breath getting into pointless arguments with someone who has the IQ of a sausage."

"That's… An oddly specific thing to attach an IQ to." Stone said flatly, deliberately missing my point.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "I mean, whatever the sausage was before it was a sausage, it couldn't have been too terribly bright, otherwise it wouldn't have been made into a sausage in the first place, now would it? Ugh, I don't know why I'm even taking the time to explain this, just… Stop making me say sausage and stop changing the subject, Stone. And please, stop letting that moron get you all riled up."

"Oh, don't worry, Fi, I'm not riled up at all." Stone said. "In fact, I'm going to be a good teammate, and follow Assy's strategy to the letter."

"His strategy…?" I asked in confusion. "What strategy would that be, Stone?"

"That whole 'stay out of my fucking way because I'm a big boy and I say Brokémon unironically brargh' plan that he so politely informed us of, of course." he replied, with more than a hint of smugness in his voice. "If he wants to go it alone so badly, then I say we honor his wishes, wouldn't you agree, Fi?"

I looked at Stone with hesitation. "Wait… You actually want me to just… Not do anything?"

"Yeah, why not?" he said, shrugging in indifference. "Let him dig his own grave and make a fool of himself. It was his idea, after all."

"…Okay Stone, I know I said 'just let me eat a Hydro Pump and be done' earlier, but I didn't think you were actually going to _listen_ to that." I chided.

"Oh, no, I'd never do that to you, Fi." Stone replied, looking mortified that I would even suggest so. I had no time to get sentimental, however, as another uncharacteristically snide grin soon spread across his face. "No, we're just gonna let him make an ass of himself, and then we'll get down to business."

"Oh, so you mean you actually plan on letting this become a handicap match, then?" I said, folding my arms in annoyance. "Stone, come on. I know I talked myself up earlier, and I appreciate your faith in me, but you and I both know I'm probably not capable of taking down two Pokémon at once. At least, not yet."

"Ah, b-but…" he began, not getting much farther than that before he was interrupted by the oh-so-delightful and pleasant sound of the professor's microphone squealing. I turned towards the source of it just in time to see Professor Redwood forcefully yanking the microphone away from Assy and shooing him back over towards us, taking care to wipe the microphone's head off with his handkerchief before putting it back in front of his face.

"Oho, yes, you do have, er, quite a way with words there, Mr. Banstead." Professor Redwood exclaimed, his good humor fading pretty quickly as he continued. "Particularly the ones you're not supposed to say… Er-hem, anyhow, let us not forget about Mr. Banstead's partner, Mr. Hardacre!" The professor led a round of applause for Stone as the spotlight shifted to him, though he was quick to addend himself before Stone could react in any way. "But erm, do remember, Mr. Hardacre, that the microphone is for faculty use only. And try to remind that git-giii- _ **giiiiilorious**_ young man of a partner of yours as well, while you're at it."

Stone, as expected, did little more than let out a nervous laugh and direct his little hand salute/wave thing at no one in particular, never one to draw attention to himself. Well, at least not intentionally. I, myself, was more than content to just hide behind his legs until the camera was off of us. As Clary's shrill voice rang out from behind us, he turned to direct his wave at her, but by that time, the spotlight had already drifted away from him and back onto the professor.

"And of course, let us give a round of applause to their opponents, Mr. Bubber Jonnerd and Ms. Kelly Kazoo!"

The spotlight shifted over to the two people on the other side of the professor, and… Well, I'm not sure I'd ever seen two partners of any sort as ill-suited for one another as they were, and I've been watching professional wrestling for half of my life. Bubber looked about as much like a stereotypical good ol' boy as someone with the name 'Bubber Jonnerd' possibly could, and Kelly appeared to be the kind of stuck-up pureblood richie-poo princess that this school was originally built for, if the website's history section was any indicator of truth. The contempt she was directing towards poor Bubber as he hooped and hollered for the camera seemed to even outstrip Stone's disdain for Assy, which… Certainly was not a good thing. Not for them, at least.

"God, how the hell did someone like _that_ get into a place like _this_?" Assy said of Bubber, looking at him with much of the same disgust as Kelly. "Geez, they really must let _anyone_ in here these days…"

"Yeah, you're proof of that, Assy." Stone muttered, thankfully not loud enough for Assy to hear him and start another bitchfit.

"Alright, now that the introductions are out of the way, let us swiftly explain the match rules, and then get this tournament underway!" the professor exclaimed once the spotlight had returned to him. "Now, in the interest of both fairness and time, each match will be one Pokémon to a trainer, and since this is simply an exhibition tournament between rookies, there will be no clauses in effect. The first team to knock out both of their opponent's Pokémon will be declared the victor, and will move on to the next round. Medicine will, of course, be provided to those who move on, so that their Pokémon will be primed and fighting-fit for the next round. Now, what say we get this school year kicked off with a bang? Trainers, assume your positions, and send forth your Pokémon!"

As the crowd roared with anticipation around us, I took a deep breath and gave one last look up at Stone before he stepped back to his designated spot. I smiled and nodded to him confidently, and he nodded back, though his expression was anything but confident. I couldn't say I was expecting much else, though. But… Don't worry, master… I'll prove your worth. There's no way you're a weak link. Assy may have bigger and more impressive Pokémon, but none of them respect him whatsoever. I'll show him and everyone else that it isn't power that makes a team strong so much as the trust and love that they have for one another…

And…

The trust and love that we have for each other…

We've got everyone beat there, master.

* * *

A/N: So, with any luck, I won't be so lazy this next week. I think a chapter of this length is definitely something I could get in the habit of writing and posting weekly/bi-weekly, so long as I keep it up and don't put it off and put it off until "oh shit it's Sunday and its been nearly a month since I last uploaded I better spend all day finishing this" like I usually do. So yeah, aiming for the next chapter to be up within the next two weeks, fingers crossed. Anyways yeah, later, peeperonis!


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Okay, so, I swear I'm still planning on doing shorter chapters like the last one was from here on out normally, this one just had no good splitting point in the middle. As for the wait this time, I fucking hate writing action sequences and fight scenes so I just kept putting this off more than usual until I buckled down and wrote about 80% of it up on Saturday. So yeah, my usual apologies for whatever it is I usually apologize about. Thanks as always to those of you who review, love y'all fam. OH! OH THAT'S RIGHT! A kind and talented reader sent me fanart recently! That's what I'm talking about, son! I'm movin' on up to that east side, to that deluxe apartment in the sky, I got fanart, I got a TvTropes page, or well, this story does, but same thing! I never thought I'd ever write anything that would warrant either of those things, so yeah, been feelin' pretty fucking gnar gnar about that. Thanks again, fam! What else? Uhh... Oh! That's also right! 100,000k words! I've never managed to breach 100,000k words before! That's... That's a lot of words! And yet, I'm somehow still not even finished with the first day... Hngh. Oh well, I don't really care, I'm just jazzed I've made it this far. Anyways, I think that's all, so onto a few review replies.

Random Order: Holy shit, my bad, yo. No need to worry, there will be absolutely no rape involved in this story, regarding Fifi's past or otherwise. I uh, I don't play that shit, let's put it that way. My apologies for not thinking to mention that earlier. And just as a heads up, you don't need to be hesitant about asking me anything storywise, nor should anyone else. I will gladly and kindly answer any non-spoilerific questions, and if it does involve a spoiler, I'll try to be as accommodating as I can if it's in regards to something of this nature.

painfulldarksoul: Ah, yes, a definite sign of a healthy and stable relationship, for sure. Also, that is now canon.

KirisunaPercabeth: "if he even ever made a reason and just decided to keep it vague on purpose because he was too lazy to write one" Huehue, don't worry, I ain't _that_ lazy~ All will be revealed, in due time...

I think that's all! Enjoy the drek!

* * *

"YEEEEEEEAH, MOTHERFUCKERS! AIN'T _NOBODY_ STOPPIN' ME! SUCK MY DICK BITCHEEEEEEEEEEEES!"

Following Stone back into our locker room, I did my damndest to plug my ears to save them from Assy's victory screech, for lack of a better term, but my ear fur, as usual, was making that distressingly difficult to do. Perhaps even more distressingly, however, was that Stone appeared to have already gotten used to Assy's Assy noises, as he merely groaned in annoyance as he and I made our way to the increasingly emptying locker room behind the banshee. Far, far behind the banshee. Stone was obviously in no hurry to join him, and neither was I. While, yes, we had just won our second battle and made it through to the semifinals, to claim either of our victories were due to anything that we or Assy had done was laughable. In fact, to say that we had 'won' either of those matches in the first place was a stretch, it would probably be more apt to say the other teams lost and we had simply just survived both battles.

The first match had lasted all of about ten seconds, as princess Kelly was so unwilling to cooperate with Bubber after he commanded his Skuntank to use Toxic on Assy's Metagross the moment the match had started that she had her own Mienshao knock his Skuntank out. The professor immediately disqualified her for her 'appalling and gross lack of even the tiniest shred of sportsmanship or camaraderie, completely perverting and sullying the entire point of the tournament in the first place', or something along those lines. So I literally didn't even move that match.

Our second match lasted a little bit longer, though I really wish it hadn't, since Assy had his Tyranitar use Earthquake the moment the match began, and even though it thankfully ignored him, it scared one of our opponents into commanding his Snorlax to use, of all things, freaking _Self-Destruct_. I… Had never realized that a Snorlax could even _learn_ Self-Destruct, nor that said attack could be gas-based. I could have really gone without ever learning either of those things, too, because that… Stung. And stunk. My collar had thankfully kept it from knocking me out completely, but the same couldn't be said for our other opponent's Pokémon, a Weavile, as it was quite obvious that neither her nor her trainer had been prepared for their partners' Leeroy Jenkins-caliber strategy. One Full Restore later, and I was feeling good as new, but God, nothing could take away that stench…

In short, we had 'won' both of our matches without so much as having to lift a finger on my part or issue a single command on Stone's part. I suppose Assy could claim he had deked our second opponents out, but that would be an obvious and total lie. That of course didn't stop him from celebrating and screeching as if he had single-handedly defeated all of our opponents with his own two hands, though.

"Man, Flint wasn't kidding when he said this tournament was a clusterfuck of bad teamwork and selfishness…" Stone muttered, as he hovered tentatively outside the locker room's doorway, presumably waiting for Assy to throw his voice out enough to quiet down before entering. "I'm gonna be _hella_ upset if it turns out I really am at the same skill levels as these geniuses…"

"I don't think you have to worry about that, Stone." I said. "You're not the one who tried to use Earthquake in a double battle… Or Self-Destruct… Or just flat out attacked your own partner with willing intent."

"Hey, that's right!" Stone said, his face suddenly taking on an angry and indignant look as he marched into the locker room and made a beeline straight for Assy, getting right up in his face, or at least, as close as he could while still being able to breathe. I scrambled to follow after him as he started to yell. "What the fuck was that shit, you fucking mook?"

"Huh? What are you crying about now, Tardacre?" Assy replied, his expression souring the moment he caught sight of Stone.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about!" Stone shouted. "Using Earthquake like that in a fucking double battle! There's being selfish, and then there's just plain being a fucking dumbshit idiot! You do realize the whole fucking point of a double battle is to work alongside your teammate, not try and take them out along with your opponents, don't you?"

Assy, rather than fire back, instead flashed Stone a green-toothed grin. "Peh, what do you got your panties in a bunch for, Tardacre? We won, didn't we?"

"Yeah, no fucking thanks to you!" Stone spat. "Do you really expect anyone to take you seriously as a trainer when you try pulling bush league shit like _that_?"

"Aw, boo hoo, Tardy's all butthurt because his wittwe girlfriend almost got hurt!" Assy replied, clasping his hands to the side of his face mockingly, before taking on his usual sneer. "You should've listened when I told you to stay the fuck out of mine and my Pokémons' way! I can't help it if your stupid fox ends up getting hurt because she can't get out of the way in time, that's _your_ fucking fault for being so retarded and incompetent of a trainer in the first place!"

" _I'm_ incompetent?" Stone repeated incredulously. " _Your_ Pokémon don't even listen to you! I mean, I guess I shouldn't even have to worry about you doing something so stupid, because the moment we're up against opponents that actually know how to cooperate, you're fucked, since in the time it'll take your Pokémon to listen to your dumb ass, they'll have already been KO'd!"

"Ooh, man, I cannot _wait_ until I get to kick your ass in front of the whole school." Assy growled. "Just two more matches, and your ass is fucking grass, faggot."

"That's awful presumptuous of you." came the sudden voice of Edgy. He and Axel, the only other people who were left in our locker room, had made their way over to where Stone and Assy were having their latest bitchfit, neither of them looking too thrilled to be audience to it. "You act as if you've actually accomplished something so far."

"And who the fuck asked for _your_ opinion, buttmunch?" Assy responded, seemingly only too happy to turn his vitriol to Edgy.

"No one, but if you think you deserve any sort of credit for making it this far, you're sadly mistaken." said Edgy. "And after watching your first two so-called matches, for you to assume you're even making it to the finals, let alone winning them, is pretty hilarious. Sorry to say, but we're your next opponents, and I can't speak for this twerp next to me, but I've got to say, I like our chances against a team who can't even go two seconds without getting at each other's throats over every single thing. This is going to be a gimme, you guys can't even co-exist as human beings, there's no way you'll be able to function as teammates in an actual match against people who aren't even stupider than you are."

"Fuck you, you fucking Hot Topic-mannequin-looking motherfucker!" Assy replied. "I won't even need this faggot's help to beat you! Whether he wants to listen to me and stay out of the way, or not and let his precious little girlfriend suffer the consequences, it doesn't matter, I'mma kick both of y'alls asses, by myself!"

"Yeah, except there's a difference between staying out of your partner's way and actively harming your own team's chances for victory." Edgy responded. "Me and this twerp, for instance, have done just fine so far handling our own business without interfering with each others' plans. You, on the other hand, seem to have the mindset that these battles are free-for-alls, and that's a big mistake."

"Eat my ass, I don't have to listen to you!" Assy said petulantly. "I ain't about to start worrying about some bitch ass with a fucking _Pikachu_ of all things. That's almost worse than this faggot's sissy little girly girl fox, except not really because at least you don't fucking groom your Pikachu for battles, phwehehehehe!"

"…You're an idiot." was all Edgy had to say in response, shaking his head in disgust as Assy's braying continued far longer than it should have. Which is to say, at all. Instead, he turned his attention to Stone, looking from him to me and back, continuing to shake his head all the while. "Your partner's an idiot."

Stone quickly shook his own head in equal disgust. "He's an idiot, alright, but he's obviously not my partner. Partners work together, which means the only person I can call my partner right now is Fifi, as usual."

"' _Person'_." Assy repeated with an obnoxious snort. "Sorry to break it to you there, Tardacre, but your girlfriend is a Pokémon, not a person. You keep finding ways to be more and more pathetic every time you open your mouth, I'd be kind of impressed in a trainwrecky way if I wasn't so disgusted by the fact that I'm still stuck with you for two more battles."

"Fifi's more of a person than you'll ever be." Stone replied, clearly and bitterly. The daggers he was glaring at Assy disappeared as he looked down at me with a look of pure determination, the kind that was so incredibly rare to see from him… "We don't need anyone else, we've had each other's backs for years, and we both know each other's way of thinking and thought process as if they were our own. We don't need you, Assy, because we're already a team. A fucking unbeatable, unbreakable team."

…A-Ahh… Master…

"…God, _such_ a faggot…" Assy muttered, turning away from us in disgust. "I can't take any more of you losers and your mind-numbing faggotry, I'll see y'all out there when it's time to kick your asses." With that, Assy sulked off to his corner, leaving us alone with our opponents.

"Psh… What a chode." Axel said, watching Assy walk away. "Man, I cannot _wait_ to beat that dude. It's gonna be a blast watching his meltdown afterwards, hehe."

I quickly shot Axel an annoyed look. "Hey, you do realize it's not just him you're going to have to beat, right? Don't go thinking that we're going to be as big of pushovers as that moron."

Axel looked back at me in surprise for a moment, obviously not having been expecting me to speak up, before turning his gaze to Stone and letting out a fake as hell laugh. "Ha, I know, I didn't mean any disrespect or anything." Pfft. Yeah, right… "It's not like I want to have to take you down with him, Stone, but… Well, even if you and your Braixen have perfect teamwork or whatever, it's gonna be kinda hard for you to overcome a partner that's just as willing to knock her out as his opponents. I mean, no offense, but your matches so far haven't exactly been inspiring… Not that you could help it, of course, but with an opponent like that dude, I'm expecting our match to last just as long and end just as embarrassingly, only with him on the losing, embarrassing end."

Okay, now I was starting to get _really_ annoyed. Pretty Boy's nice guy façade was starting to slip, and his ugly ego was beginning to show. Glancing up at Stone, I could tell by his conflicted expression that he wanted to say something, but obviously wasn't wanting to ruffle Axel's feathers, and so was keeping his mouth shut. Letting out a sigh, I shook my head and glowered at Axel, not sharing any of Stone's reservations, because why should _I_ give a crap about getting on Clary's friends' bad sides? I'm just a dumb Pokémon, after all…

"You know, you haven't really had the best of showings so far either, buddy." I said, catching Axel completely off guard and wiping the smug ass smirk right off his face. " _No offense_ ,but you've been pretty sloppy with your commands so far, and your Lucario doesn't seem very capable of dealing enough damage to actually finish his adversaries. Edgy's Pikachu has gotten all of your team's knockouts so far, you know."

"It's… Sat." Edgy grumbled. "Hngh…"

" _Not really…_ " I could hear Pikachu mutter from within Edgy's ridiculously oversized trenchcoat.

"You be quiet…" Edgy grunted back, looking down and giving the inside of his coat a stern look.

"…H-Heh…" Axel finally said, another, somehow even more forced grin plastered across his increasingly reddening face. "…Your Braixen is awful precocious, isn't she?"

"I don't think you know what that word means." I said dryly before Stone could respond. "I'm no more a child than Stone is, and I'm really not any more mature or mentally developed than he or anyone else our age is. You should maybe try and look words up before you blindly repeat them to look smart just because you _think_ you know what they mean. Again, _no offense_ , of course."

Axel's eye began to twitch, and his face only grew all the redder, but rather than show his anger, his grin continued to stretch. "…Ha, you really do act as if you're a real person, don't you? That's… Real cute."

"Yeah, just _ever_ so cute." I replied, rolling my eyes. "Almost as cute as how you act as if you're a real trai-"

"H-Ha, ha, th-that's enough, Fi." Stone interjected, pulling me to his side so that my face was smooshed against him. "S-Sorry, don't mind her, she's just, uh, very overprotective of me. _**Very**_ … Overprotective…"

I let out a groan as Stone released me. Hmph… I'm only overprotective because I care, master… I'm not going to let this jerk take advantage of your kindness when he's so obviously undeserving of it…

"Heh, yeah, I can… Definitely see that." Axel replied, his tone as sharp as the look he briefly shot me before turning his attention to Stone. "I guess we'll see how much her bite matches up to her bark soon enough, huh? I mean, assuming your boy over there doesn't end up KOing her before she gets the chance to, hehe."

Stone's brow seemed to furrow a bit at Axel's unnecessary chuckle at the end of his wholly unnecessary sentence, but he merely shrugged rather than do anything harsher in response. "Yeah, guess so. I wouldn't count on letting Assy do your dirty work for you, though."

Axel's obnoxious smirk returned as he cocked his head to the side and gave his own one-shouldered shrug. "Heh. Well, I'd best be getting ready and check out who we're going to be taking on in the finals. I'll catch you out there, Stone. You uh, you wanna come with me and strategize, Sat? We could-"

"No." Edgy said bluntly. With an exasperated sounding sigh, Axel gave one more shrug, than sauntered off to watch the battle that was being broadcast on the room's single big screen TV. Stone directed a short glance at Edgy, deciding fairly quickly that it would be pointless to try and strike up any further conversation with him, and started to walk away from him to join Axel in scouting our potential next opponents.

"…Hold on a minute."

Stone and I stopped abruptly in our tracks, turning on our heels at the unexpected sound of Edgy's voice calling out to us.

"Are you… Actually talking to us?" Stone asked warily, once we had made our way back over to Edgy. "Like, on purpose?"

"Yeah, shocker, I know." Edgy said, rolling his eyes in annoyance. "Look, I'm not trying to be a smartass here, so I'd appreciate it if you weren't, either."

Stone gave Edgy a surprised look, before nodding. "…Alright then. What do you want?"

"I…" Edgy began, casting a sideways glance over at his partner, who by this point was already totally enthralled in watching the battle that was taking place just outside. "…I'm gonna give it to you straight. That stuff you were saying to that idiot partner of yours, about how your only true partner is Fifi, that… Surprised me. You actually seem to get that battles are a team effort between you _and_ your Pokémon, not just some sort of contest for you to show off and act like you're hot shit. And the more I'm around you two, the plainer it is to see, you guys really are tight. Like, super tight. I can tell your guys' bond truly is something remarkably special and deep, and you weren't just bullshitting me earlier."

Stone looked at me for a brief moment, his face flushing slightly, before he hastily turned to Edgy and frowned. "Well, duh. Why the hell would we lie about something like that?"

Edgy remained silent for a second, before he looked away and grunted. "…It's not so much that you would lie about that, it's just, I live my life by a simple, three letter code: D.T.A."

"Don't trust anybody?" Stone responded, to which Edgy gave a curt nod. "…Seriously, dude? I mean, I get it, the world is a festering shithole filled with awful people, but come on, man, not _everyone_ is out to get you…"

"Yeah… I've been there before, but even at my worst, I never allowed myself to be distrustful of _everybody_." I added quietly, glancing up at Stone.

"Yeah, well… I don't have to explain anything to you." Edgy said bluntly to Stone. "And anyways, that is totally off topic from what I was trying to say."

"Okay, which is…?" Stone asked expectantly.

Before Edgy could respond, the dulled but still noticeable sound of the crowd erupting outside, along with Axel's utterance of "Damn…" interrupted, letting us all know that the last match had just finished up, meaning… We were up next. Edgy's face, which had softened considerably from it's usual scowl, quickly reverted back to normal, as he glowered at Stone as if he had just insulted his mother and his favorite sports team at the same time.

"Look, twerp, just… Don't concern yourself with me. Concern yourself with lesser things. Like my partner."

With that, Edgy turned and shuffled off towards the door to wait.

"…Man, why does everyone here have to be so weird…?" Stone lamented, shaking his head in confusion at Edgy's parting words. "I suppose that was his way of saying 'focus on my partner so I don't have to hurt you because I'm tough and edgy and my name is _also_ Edgy mnyah' or whatever…"

"Hmph. That's fine by me." I said, directing a scowl Axel's way. "I don't mind losing to Pikachu, but I'm not about to let _that_ idiot think he's better than us. Because he sure as hell isn't."

"Who, Axel?" Stone asked, following my gaze. "Aw, don't worry about him, Fi, you know he just wants to shut Assy up."

I turned to Stone and frowned. "Come on, Stone, you heard just as well as I did how arrogant he was in writing us off, as if we weren't even going to be a factor in the battle! You're really going to let that slide just because he's one of Clary's stupid friends?"

Stone looked away, folding his arms and grumbling to himself. "I'm not… I don't think he meant it like that…"

I couldn't keep myself from scoffing. "Stone, please. I know you're not _that_ naïve. You give people the benefit of the doubt way too often. That guy's a jerk, I could tell he was a jerk from the first moment I saw his smug ass face, _no one_ that smarmy looking is ever a good person. And now that he's acquainted with you and doesn't have to play so nice, his cracks are beginning to show and his ego is beginning to ooze out. It's gross, Stone, and I don't want to give him the satisfaction of thinking he's superior to us in _any_ way."

Stone looked at me for a moment, before a small smile crept across his lips. "Say, isn't that exactly what you were telling me not to think regarding Assy? About the whole not letting him win thing and not letting him get under my skin?"

"H-Huh?" I said, feeling my cheeks go pink under Stone's gaze. I quickly shook my head and turned away in a huff. "N-No, of course not, Stone. This is _completely_ different. Assy's just an idiot, he's all smell and no substance, one look is all it takes for anyone to realize that he's the lowest of the low, and therefore not worth getting upset over in any way. Pretty Boy, on the other hand, can eat a bag of dicks, with his false modesty and self-inflated sense of skill. You saw his first two matches, he would've gotten buttstomped if Edgy and his Pikachu wouldn't have swooped in to finish off his opponents after they had already single-handedly taken down their own opponents. And yet, he thinks that he's going to be able to just walk all over us as if we're some sort of non-threat alongside Assy? Ha! As if! I'm not going to stand for that, and neither should you, master! Even if we don't win, that idiot _needs_ to be taken down a peg or two, so we have to beat him and his dumb Lucario, at least!"

Once I had finished, Stone let out a chuckle. "Man, remind me to never get on your bad side, Fi."

I smiled sweetly back at him. "You know you could never do that, master, don't be silly. Although, if you keep letting people like Axel walk all over you, you'll come as close as you can to getting there."

"Alright, I get it, Fi." Stone said, sighing. "Look, I don't really like that dude very much either, I can see his fakeness just as well as you can, I just… I'd rather not piss off one of Clary's friends the very first day I've been able to catch back up with her. I don't want her thinking I'm _that_ big of an asshole."

"You mean like he is?"

Stone looked at me in exasperation before letting out another sigh. "Let's… Just focus on our match for right now, alright Fi?"

I nodded and smiled. "Of course, master."

Yeah, don't worry, master. I couldn't be any more focused on this match now.

That asshole is going down.

* * *

"-and so, if our trainers would be so kind as to take their places, and send forth their Pokémon, we can get our second semi-finals match underway!"

Stone, as he did the past two matches, sent me forward, and I stepped into the arena's battle environment. Edgy's Pikachu quickly scurried out from his coat on the other side of the battlefield, smiling and waving as he saw me before putting on his game face, and Axel sent out his Lucario to join him. All eyes fell on Assy, the only one with more than one Pokémon, as he fumbled about trying to figure out which Pokémon he wanted to send out.

"Come on, Assy, you know it doesn't matter which Pokémon you send out, none of them are going to listen to you." Stone called out, drawing Assy's ire, as usual.

"Zip it, you toad!" he spat back, a nasty grin spreading across his face as he seemingly found the Pokéball he wanted. "Go, Metagross!"

As Assy's Metagross materialized from his ball and landed on the arena floor with a loud clanking thud, I groaned inwardly, and hearing Stone do the same outwardly, I was sure we both knew what Assy's first order of business was going to be…

"Alrighty then, all trainers and their Pokémon are at the ready, so, let the last of our semi-final bouts begin!"

The professor barely had time to finish his sentence before Assy was screaming at the top of his lungs.

"METAGROSS, EARTHQUAKE!"

"You fucking _bastard_." Stone seethed behind me. As I turned towards Metagross, it gave a disinterested look before nonetheless raising one of its arms high, building up power within it to strike the ground with. I flinched in anticipation, not at all looking forward to what was coming, but at the same time not sure how I could possibly avoid it. Across the way, neither Edgy nor Axel looked very concerned themselves, the both of them probably having been expecting Assy's opening gambit as well.

"What an idiot." Edgy exclaimed, shaking his head. "Pikachu, Double Team."

With a nod, Pikachu began rapidly dashing from side to side, quickly building up speed to the point where I could no longer see him even moving, instead seeing two images of him flickering in and out a short distance away from one another. Glancing back at Metagross, his arm was raised as high as it was going to go, and judging by his expression, he was getting ready to send it crashing down any moment. I turned to Stone in a panic, unsure of what to even do. "M-Master, what should I…?"

Stone returned my look of panic, pulling at his collar and shaking his head. "Gah, I don't know, there's no place for you to go, the whole fucking floor is going to be…"

…Hngh, if only I knew Protect… As Metagross sent his arm crashing down, Stone's voice suddenly rang out behind me.

"F-Fuck it! Quick Fi, climb on top of that fucker's back!"

As Metagross' arm made contact with the ground and began to send shockwaves trembling throughout the arena floor, I scrambled to follow Stone's command, rushing towards the Metagross as he began to alternate smashing the ground with his front two arms in an increasingly frantic rhythm. As my footing grew increasingly unsteady the closer I got to the beast, I pulled out my stick, and once I drew close enough, I took a firm grasp of it and planted it in front of me, using it as a makeshift pole to vault me over the earthquake's epicenter, landing, or rather, crashing, on top of the Metagross' smooth topside. I quickly latched my fingers on to the metal cross that adorned his face to keep myself from sliding off, holding on to it for dear life as he continued to pound the ground and send powerful shockwaves every which way.

"Hey, get your fucking bitch off my Pokémon!" I could just barely hear Assy screech.

"Shut up!" Stone shouted back. "Fi, hang in there! Just a little more!"

I soon shut my eyes tightly, feeling as if I were trying to ride a bucking Tauros and starting to get nauseous from all the violently jerky movement. I must have looked like a ragdoll, smacking into the Metagross over and over as the only part of myself that had any sort of grip on him was my fingers, which were slowly beginning to lose their strength and grip the longer I tried to hold on… Suddenly, from the other side of the arena, I heard Axel's voice ring out.

"RIO, NOW, COUNTER!"

Oh, _fuck_. I opened my eyes just in time to see Axel's Lucario, Rio, begin to make a strange motion with his hands, and as one of the shockwaves reached him, he suddenly seemed to phase out, reappearing almost immediately and stomping the ground with both feet, causing the shockwave to somehow double in size and turn course and ripple back the way it came, which happened to be right where I was. Hngh…

"FUCK!" was the last thing I heard Stone and Assy exclaim in unison, as I was thrown violently off of the Metagross, flying up and crashing hard into the invisible, yet still very hard protective barrier that kept everything confined within the battlefield. As I crashed to the ground, I didn't have so much as time to think before Stone screamed out, "FI, MOVE!", and as I opened my eyes to see why, I only _just_ managed to roll out of the way in time to avoid becoming a pancake as the Metagross landed with a heavy thud right where I had been.

"N-No! No fucking way!" Assy shouted in a panic, as he looked on in utter shock at the sight of his Metagross struggling to right itself off of its… Back…? Head…? Er, whatever it was.

" _Such_ an idiot…" said Edgy. Looking across the way at his side of the battlefield, I could see that neither Pikachu nor Rio seemed to have sustained even the slightest amount of damage from Metagross' attack. Meanwhile, I felt as if I had just climbed out of a washing machine only to fall down a cliff, and Assy's Metagross was looking more like a giant, defenseless, flipped-over crab than anything menacing at this point.

"Yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about!" Axel yelled, jumping up in celebration before turning on the smug and sending it Stone's way. "What'd I say? This match isn't going to last a full minute! Rio, quick, while the Metagross is vulnerable! Use-"

"NO!" Edgy suddenly snarled, stopping Axel dead in his tracks. "That chump is _mine_."

"What?" Axel said, looking over at his partner incredulously. "But he's-"

"No, I already told you before we started." Edgy began, giving Axel a death glare. "The idiot is mine, the twerp is yours. There will be no further discussion on this."

Axel continued to stare at Edgy in disbelief, before finally shaking his head in anger and turning his attention back towards us. "Fine, whatever, asshole. You'll regret that soon enough. Rio, nevermind, we're taking down that smart-ass fox instead!" He stopped, giving me a smug grin before continuing. "No offense, of course!"

I was only too happy to return his grin with one of my own. "Oh, I know. It's obvious to anyone with eyes that you guys have no offense to speak of, that's why your partner has to do all the dirty work for you. Pretty damn easy to see who the weak link here is."

Axel's face dropped instantaneously, as the crowd around us let out a collective gasp at the sound of my voice. W-Whoops… Sorry, master…

" _I've had just about enough of your attitude, girl._ " Rio suddenly said, his lips curling into a sneer to match his trainer's. " _Nobody, and I mean_ NOBODY _, disrespects me or my master like that!_ "

"Oh, I'm _so_ scared." I replied dully, rolling my eyes at his 'threat'.

" _As you should be!_ " Rio responded, painfully unaware of my sarcasm. " _You saw what I just did to that Metagross, did you not? I'm sure you felt it, if nothing else, hehehe…_ "

"You mean directing his own attack back at him? That he put all the effort into?" I said, rolling my eyes. "Please. I could do the same thing if I could learn Counter, all that is is timing, nothing to be impressed about whatsoever."

" _Grr… I don't have to take this!_ " Rio growled, as he suddenly began to charge forward towards me with malicious intent in his eyes. " _I'll shut that smart mouth of yours up right now!_ "

"R-Rio, what are you-" Axel began, before quickly getting drowned out in my ears by Stone.

"Oh shit, keep your guard up, Fi!"

Right… As Rio drew near, I kept my eyes locked with his, waiting for him to tip his hand. That ended up not even being necessary, as he had already telegraphed his attack by the time he got into range, and I easily sidestepped his stupid little aura-spiked punch.

"Quick Fi, flame broil his ass!" Stone shouted as Rio stumbled from his whiff. As I reached for my stick to do just that, my heart dropped as I came back with air, and it was only then that I realized that I hadn't picked it back up after using it to launch myself on top of Assy's Metagross earlier. While I could still of course use my attacks without it, most of them would be much weaker without my stick to focus them through, my fire type attacks chief amongst them… As my eyes caught Stone's and he realized what was wrong, he barely had time to utter "Shit." before I was blindsided by Rio's aura-charged fist.

" _I'll bet you felt_ that _!_ " Rio sneered as he leered down at me, ready to strike again.

"Rio, wait, control yourself!" Axel called from afar, which Rio promptly ignored in favor of kicking me while I was down.

"Fuck, Fi, d-don't just lie there, bite him or something!" Stone cried out in fret.

While normally I would be loathe to use any attack that involved sticking something in my mouth, being kicked in the ovaries was inarguably worse, and the moment Rio's foot came back for another shot, I grabbed hold of it and sank my teeth into his ankle as hard as I could without my tongue coming in contact. As he fell to the ground beside me in pain, I released my grip, spitting in disgust the bits of fur that had managed to get into my mouth regardless of my efforts.

"Don't let him get up, Fi! Work the ankle!" Stone called out as I gingerly made it back to my feet.

I gave a quick nod, taking just a moment to rub my sore spot before kneeing Rio in the face as he clutched his ankle, then dropping an elbow on it once it was made vulnerable. As he let out a howl of pain, I stood back up and dropped another, harder elbow, digging the point right into the bone. I was determined not to let up. I may not have been able to use most of my normal attacks without my stick, but that didn't stop me from using other means of attack. And, well, anything that you had to be told not to try at home had to be at least a little effective in Pokémon battles too, surely.

"That's it, Fi! Keep cranking up the pressure!" Stone yelled in encouragement as I grabbed onto Rio's ankle and squared up to do some real damage.

"No, Rio, get up! Don't let a freaking _Braixen_ keep you down!" Axel cried out, all semblances of his cool exterior gone as his voice cracked badly midsentence. Rio, unfortunately, was in no position to listen to him, as I had gotten a firm enough grip on his ankle to lock my arm around it, and I soon began to use my other hand to twist and wrench it, using all of my, admittedly miniscule, might to crank up the pressure, as Stone so helpfully suggested. Thankfully, even with my complete and utter lack of physical strength, Rio was enough of a wimp that it didn't seem to matter, as he wailed in pain like a little girl. Though, actually knowing how to apply the hold semi-properly may have factored into things as well… But probably not as much as Rio being a little bitch did.

"Heh… I'll bet you're… Feeling _that_ …!" I grunted in between cranks.

"R-Rio, come on!" Axel cried, in much the same tone that his Pokémon was wailing in. "God damn it, who the fuck teaches their Pokémon shit like that?!"

"Uh, well, I was kind of into wrestling way before ever getting into Pokémon battles…" Stone said, shrugging and grinning back at Axel. "Hey, it's working, isn't it?"

Axel let out a groan of frustration as he kicked the ground, then turned and pointed an accusatory finger at Edgy. "Hey, _partner_ , don't just stand there, do something to help Rio, already!"

"Not my problem that your Pokémon is weak. And not my concern, either." Edgy replied, not even turning to face Axel as he spoke. Instead, he was still focused on his own Pokémon's battle, if it could be called such a thing. While I was busy with Rio, the little I had heard from Assy and Edgy was… Well… Assy screaming for Earthquakes and Meteor Mashes galore, followed by silent indifference from his Metagross, leading to louder screaming and obscenities from Assy, and on the rare instances his Metagross felt like listening, or just doing his own thing instead of what Assy commanded, Edgy telling Pikachu to avoid it, which he seemed to be able to do at will. Now that I thought about it, I hadn't heard Edgy command Pikachu to attack once so far, almost as if he was purposely just wasting Assy's time and seeing just how angry he could get him. Or maybe I'm just projecting what Stone would be doing in that situation. Probably the latter. Though, that still begged the question of why he wasn't-

"Argh, whatever!" Axel yelled. "Rio, I know you've got it in you, she can't keep that up forever! Wait for your moment and strike!"

Having let my mind slip and get distracted with what Edgy and Assy were doing, I had also unfortunately let my grip loosen enough for Rio to squirm and turn around enough to put his hands up and blast me in the face with a big fat ball of aura energy.

"Fuck, are you alright, Fi?!" Stone called out in concern as I tumbled to a stop in front of him. As I began to push myself up and nod, Axel's voice rang out.

"That's it, Rio!" he shouted. "Keep your distance, and keep blasting her with Aura Spheres!"

"Oh fuck." I said in unison with Stone. I didn't have time for much else, as I got smacked right back down with another gob of aura to the face. I couldn't even get up from that one before another one blasted me right in the… Posterior. I…

Hngh…

I was beginning to really feel the wear of the battle… A few more of those, and I…

 _N-No… I can't… I won't… Stone's… Counting on me… I… Can't let that jerk beat us…_

"Fi, watch-"

Oof…

"…Out…"

"Ha, looks like she really is all bark, Stone." Axel said, and even though I was currently eating floor and couldn't see him, I could just _hear_ the smugness radiating from him.

 _So… S-So gross… I c-can't let him…_

"Sh-Shut up…" Stone said, finally past the point of politeness. "Shit, Fi… Those fucking things home in, they literally can't miss…"

"That's… Not something I wanted to hear, master…" I replied, clenching my teeth and fighting against my aching body as I struggled to my feet again, only to be immediately knocked over again. Gahh…

"Fuck, there's… There's gotta be something…" Stone said in distraught.

"If th-there is… Y-You'd better… Think of it f-fast, master…" I weakly replied between my wheezing breaths. "I'm about… At my limit…"

"Ah, f-fuck, I…" Stone began, the frustration in his voice clear.

"I'll give you this, Stone, you two put up more of a fight than I was expecting from someone with just a Braixen." Axel said, the arrogance in his voice palpable. "You should feel proud for getting this far, dude."

"The battle isn't over yet, _dude_." Stone replied, any remaining traces of politeness completely stripped away from his voice. "Fifi's not 'just a Braixen'… She's…"

"…She's _what_?" Axel asked as Stone hung on his last word.

"…She's… About to kick your Lucario's ass!" Stone said, his voice suddenly taking on a curiously rushed tone and his eyes lighting up as he caught sight of something near me. As I turned to see what he was looking at, I realized why. "Fi, your stick!"

My eyes shot from my stick, which was mere feet away from me, over to Rio, who stood, hobbled, but at the ready, to launch another volley of pain my way.

"RIO, DON'T LET HER REACH THAT STICK!"

I scrambled to my feet and began to stumble in desperation over to my stick, as Rio started charging another Aura Sphere. I dove for my stick as I heard Rio releasing his attack behind me. _Fuck!_ No time to get an attack off now, what am I supposed to-

"HIT IT BACK, FI!"

Ah! Stone's words rang clear in my ears, and almost automatically, I had sprung back to my feet, holding my stick at the ready, and as the pulsating blob of aura got ready to strike me, I struck first, swinging and smashing my stick against it with all my might, redirecting it right back where it came at twice the speed. Rio wouldn't have been able to avoid it even without a bum ankle, as neither he nor Axel had time to react before he had been upended by his own attack.

"O-Okay… I take back that whole… No effort in countering attacks thing…" I said, falling back onto my tail as my arms continued to shake from the force of my stick's impact with the Aura Sphere.

"N-No way…!" Axel exclaimed, nearly choking on his words. "Rio! C-Come on! Sh-She's still weak! Just one more attack!"

Rio seemed to be in pretty much the same shape I was in now, as he struggled just to push himself to his knees, and winced in pain as he tried to put pressure on his ankle. Still, he wasn't down yet, and as I turned to look at Stone, he nodded back at me.

"Sorry, Axel, but your boy ain't gonna be getting up from this one." Stone said. "It's time for our… Special attack. Fi, you ready?"

I nodded back. "Always, master." I stood back up, and took a deep breath, as did Stone. I cleared my mind, focusing on one thing and one thing alone. As I closed my eyes, every outside noise, every outside voice began to drone out and fade away, all except for one.

"You've got this, Fi. I know you do."

Yes… Master… For you… I can do anything. I can defeat anyone with this attack, because it's only limited in power by how much I love you, and… My love for you is infinite. It only grows stronger every day, every time I see you, every time I hear your voice. I really, really shouldn't be thinking about this right now, but… I need this to be strong enough to deliver a knock out. Stone… My master, my wonderful, loving master… I can't stand it anymore. I can't hold this in any longer, now that you've shown me that I haven't been fighting a losing cause all this time, that… That all my hopes and prayers and wishes are finally being answered… To know that my love for you isn't unrequited, that you… You feel the same love for me that I feel for you… A-Ahh… M-Master, I… I can't… I can't handle this… I was never expecting this to happen so suddenly, I've always been so afraid that it would never happen at all… I don't know how I'm going to be able to… C-Contain myself… Your… Your precious Fifi has been waiting so, so long for this moment… A-Ahh, b-but it's… Not here yet… So g-get yourself together, Fifi, th-this is… The worst possible place for this… I need to… Focus on my love, not my… H-Hahh…

"F-Fi, are you…?"

"I'm f-fine, master… J-Just… Focusing…"

"Fi… That's… H-Holy shit…"

As I opened my eyes, I was taken aback for a moment by just how big and bright my attack had become. But… It was only natural. Before, when it was just my own love, it was strong, but now… I don't have to hold anything back. I can let the world see just how true and pure the love I return for you is, master. Because it's not just me returning the love now.

"It's ready, master."

"…Return, Fifi."

I stood at the ready. I took aim. And I sent it flying at Rio. Stupid, self-righteous son of a bitch. Feel _that_ , motherfu-

"F-FUCK, COUNTER IT, RIO!"

… _Oh God._

I watched in absolute horror as my massive ball of love-charged psychic energy made its way towards Rio, who began frantically posing, holding a specific pose until the moment the ball reached him, then once again disappearing as it made contact with him. As he reappeared, however, he landed awkwardly on his janky ankle, obviously not having taken it into account before starting his counter attack, and he ended up tumbling over onto his face, redirecting my attack, but not back at me… Poor Pikachu, who was, er, 'busy' avoiding the staggeringly tired and winded Metagross' attacks, didn't see it coming at all, and his double team was no match for it at all, as it was so big it hit both him and his mirror image at the same time. Combined with the fact that Rio's counter attack had only increased the ball's power and velocity, it was a wonder that Pikachu hadn't been launched clear through the safety barrier and out of the arena entirely… As it was, he got slammed into the wall _**hard**_ , and was actually stuck there for a brief moment before he fell to the ground with a small thud. His foot continued to twitch as he lay there, but from the look on his face, and the weary "Chaaaa…" that escaped from his mouth, it was clear he had been knocked out cold.

For a moment, everyone seemed to be too stunned to properly react, as everything had happened so fast and without warning.

But only for a moment.

"What… The… _**FUCK?!**_ " Edgy bellowed, stomping over to Axel in a rage. "WHAT THE HELL KIND OF MANEUVER WAS _THAT_?!"

"Th-That wasn't us!" Axel cried out, his voice cracking horribly again as he backed away from Edgy. "That was the Braixen's weird ass attack! Rio was just trying to turn it back against her, but he-"

"UNACCEPTABLE!" Edgy shouted, marching with a purpose towards Axel for a moment before suddenly stopping and changing course, his face fraught with worry as he got as close to Pikachu as he could without breaching the safety barrier. "Pikachu, are you alright, buddy? I'm sorry, I should've been paying more attention, I-"

"MOTHERFUCKERS ARE ALL DISTRACTED AND INJURED, FUCKING EEEEEEEARTHQUUUUUUAKE THEIR BITCH ASSES!"

…

Stone and I both turned to Assy at once.

"You fucking _**bastard**_."

* * *

"Really, Stone, I'm fine."

"Ah, b-but you…"

I let out a sigh as Stone continued to needlessly fuss and fret over me. I had only been knocked out for a few seconds, but that was enough to make Stone react as if I had just been put into a coma. Even after giving me the Revive and Full Restore, Stone continued to worry over me to a ridiculous degree. Though, as unnecessary and silly as it was, it was still… Really touching. For as much as he complained about me being overprotective of him, he was just as bad if not worse with me. But… I wasn't really complaining about that, he _is_ my knight in shining armor, after all, teehee… It's the little things like this that make it impossible for me not to love him… Ahh, b-but, it really wasn't necessary, he has to get used to this kind of thing…

I looked up at Stone and gave him an exasperated, but still grateful smile. "Stone, please. It's really sweet that you're this worried about me, but seriously, I'm totally fine now. Heck, the weird aftertaste of that Revive is bugging me more than anything else. Like I told you, I'm a Pokémon. Pokémon faint. It's not the first time and it won't be the last time. And I don't care. It's literally _nothing_ , Stone. Do you see any scratches or bruises or anything else on me? No, of course you don't, because _I'm fine_. And besides that, we just won and made it into the finals! You should be happy, master!"

Stone looked back at me with no less worry on his face, but he didn't have the chance to respond before the professor began to speak again.

"And so, our finals are set!" he proclaimed, beaming proudly at Stone and then Assy as the spotlight fell upon them. "Mr. Banstead and Mr. Hardacre will be heading into our final match to face Ms. Longbehn and Ms. Dingman, to see who will get to compete to face last year's grand champion, the great Ariala Treeblood!"

While Assy of course wasted no time in making a cringey fool out of himself, Stone didn't even attempt to show any enthusiasm, barely even smiling before the spotlight had gone, instead just continuing to glance down at me in concern.

"But of course, let us also give a round of applause to their opponents, Mr. Mistrock and Mr. Fortune, for they too had quite the showing this tournament, up to and including this phenomenal match!"

Neither Edgy nor Axel seemed too keen on showing any amount of pride for their showings, though at least in Edgy's case, it seemed to be less a case of bad sportsmanship and more just his wonderful, happy demeanor in general. Pikachu at least seemed to be in good spirits, as he smiled and shot a " _Congratulations!_ " my way. The same couldn't be said for Rio, however, who looked as if he wanted to shoot a bullet my way instead. I promptly ignore him and focused on thanking Pikachu. Assy had already recalled his Metagross, so he unfortunately was not part of the celebrations, though I'm not sure he would've wanted to be, anyways, being such a strong, silent, ashamed-of-his-own-trainer type.

As the celebrations wrapped up, everyone was _supposed_ to meet up in the center of the stage to shake hands as a show of good will, but Assy obviously was having no part of that, and Axel very clearly only did so because so many people (mainly Clary and the other two stooges I'm sure) were watching, a hollow, terse "Good match." being the only thing he uttered before quickly brushing past Stone off the stage. Edgy, at least, took the time to do things properly, though he didn't seem exactly thrilled to be doing so.

"…Good fight, twerp. Lucky as hell and never happening again, but still good."

Stone nodded back, giving him a good-natured grin before quickly frowning. "Er, hey, so, Pikachu is okay, right?"

"Eh?" Edgy grunted in confusion, looking down at Pikachu, who cocked his head to the side in equal confusion. "Yeah, why wouldn't he be?"

Stone shrugged sheepishly. "Um, I don't know, I just… That attack looked… Brutal. That definitely wasn't meant for him, I assure you…"

As Edgy realized what Stone was getting at, he waved his hand dismissively. "Ah, stop it, twerp. Don't friggin' apologize for that. It's a Pokémon battle, that kind of thing happens. It didn't hurt him any more than that damn Earthquake hurt Fifi, so don't even think about worrying over that. You really must be new to this if you're still freaking out about things like that." Stone looked down at me in embarrassment, but Edgy didn't give him time to really respond at all. "Look, good luck and all that crap, but if you'll excuse me, I have better things to be doing with my life now that I'm out of this pointless tournament. I'll see you two later."

" _Good luck Fifi,_ I'll _be rooting for you guys, at least!_ " Pikachu called out as he and Edgy disappeared from the stage. We followed suit soon after, heading back to our locker room one last time. I wanted to take the time to comfort Stone and try to get his mind back on track for the finals, but that was unfortunately impossible due to the Assy that also occupied the room. And… For another reason I hadn't been expecting…

"Heh. Hey loser, I just wanted to say, thanks for the assist!" he exclaimed to Stone the moment he saw him. "Really, couldn't've done it without you, phweheheuheuhe!"

"Assist?" Stone repeated indignantly. "You mean, 'thanks for doing all the work so I could swoop in and display my shitheadedness for everyone to see'? Yeah, no problem, dickhead. Fifi just loves doing all the heavy lifting only to be repaid by getting knocked out, don't you, Fi?"

"Oh, yes, of course." I said sarcastically solely for Stone's sake. My mind was anywhere but there, however, and I wanted nothing to do with another one of Stone's pointless bitchfits with Assy. I had far more pressing concerns on my mind… And…

E-Elsewhere…

Hngh…

My adrenaline was starting to wear off, and… That was the only thing that had been keeping my awful thoughts at bay… God, I just had to go and think about _that_ to strengthen that dumb attack, didn't I…? Hngh, fuck, not now… Of all the days for this crap to start… Fucking heat…

"Oh, quit your whining, Tardacre." Assy said, momentarily distracting me from my… Hngh… "Can't you even take a compliment without getting your panties in a bunch?"

" _God_ , you are such a piece of shit." Stone replied. Hngh, m-master… I-I can't even look at you right now… "You realize the only reason you're here right now is thanks to Fifi, right? Your stupid fucking Pokémon spent that entire match ignoring you, just like I said it would, and on the rare occasions when it didn't, the results were so embarrassing you should have _wished_ it wouldn't have listened to you! You contributed _nothing_ to that match other than that last Earthquake that took out a one-legged Lucario and your _own fucking partner's Pokémon_! How is it that you can have an entire team of Pokémon and not _a single one_ has even the slightest ounce of respect for you? I don't know why me and Fifi should even bother in the next match, because you're just going to spam Earthquake again and our opponents are going to be waiting for it and you're going to make yourself a fucking laughingstock like you tried to do in that last match."

"Shut the fuck up, my Pokémon respect the hell out of me!"

"Bullshit. All your little wondertraded murderbeasts are used to listening to experienced, skilled trainers, I'm sure just the thought of having to follow the orders of some idiotic, talentless scrub like you makes them physically ill. I'll bet you've _never_ had a Pokémon that listened to you or gave a shit about you in any way, you probably just went out and started catching Weedles and Pidgeys to stuff into the wondertrade machines. You obviously don't care about your Pokémon or anyone else's, for that matter. They're just tools for you to use, status symbols to make people think you're some sort of badass or something. God, people like you make me fucking sick."

Assy, shockingly, didn't immediately fly off the handle at Stone. He looked like he was ready to explode, but when he finally spoke, it was in about as calm a voice as I'd ever heard him speak. "…You shut up. You don't know shit about me. I'm not a fucking idiot like you are, and I'm not about to make a fool out of myself after getting this far. I'll show you just how big of a fucking idiot you are in our next match. You're going to fucking eat those words, and then it's going to be you and your bitch that are the laughingstocks, not me."

Stone, on the other hand, was more than willing to fly off the handle. "Assy, I swear to God, if you call Fifi a bitch _one more fucking time_ , I'll-"

"Ah, gentlemen, still getting along as swimmingly as ever, I see."

All eyes turned to the professor as he entered the room, the happy look on his face fading quite sharply after seeing the 'conversation' he had walked into.

"…Right. Well, it seems that I may have made a terrible, _terrible_ mistake, in retrospect, but, no matter. I presume you both are as ready as you're going to be for the final match? Please?" the professor asked, eying Stone and Assy dubiously.

A-Ah, no, actually… I-Isn't there time for a quick bathroom break, or-

"Yeah."

"Whatever."

… _Hngh_ …

"Ah, yes, such enthusiasm. I love it." the professor said flatly. "Right, well, follow me, lads! The stage beckons you! But er, please, do try and remember that whole 'strict no fighting policy' thing, would you?"

"Yeah."

"Whatever."

"…Delightful."

Hhn… Just a little bit more, Fifi… The adrenaline will be back, you can… Hngh… H-Hold it in… Until then…

… _H-Hopefully_ …

* * *

"-and so, ladies and gentlemen, our final double battle begins! Trainers, take your positions and send forth your Pokémon!"

"…Fi, are you _sure_ you're alright? Why are you panting like that…?"

 _F-Fuck…_ Was I panting…?

"Ah, n-no, I… I mean, y-y-yes, I'm perfectly fine, m-ma… S-Stone…"

"…Fi…"

D-Damn it… Not now… Not fucking now…

"Hey, Tardacre! You and your girlfriend better be ready, because I am _not_ about to lose now, _especially_ not on account of you or your fucking fox!"

…Girlfriend… H-Hahh… I-If only… I… N-No… _S-Stop_ …

"Shut up, Assy. You only need to be concerned with yourself, and choosing which Pokémon is going to blatantly ignore you this time."

"Heh… That's where you're wrong, jackass. I'm not taking any chances this time. My other Pokémon will learn to listen in due time, but right now, I've got to prove you wrong. It's showtime, baby."

The almost pure white Pokéball Assy pulled from his belt erupted in a shower of sparkles as he tossed it onto the battlefield beside me, and the Pokémon that emerged from it was… Not what I was expecting. To say the least…

" _Ah… So you_ do _still remember I exist._ " came the soft, hypnotic 'voice' of the shimmering, blue Gardevoir that stood beside me. As she turned to face her trainer, his own face dropped, and the smile she gave him wasn't a happy one, in fact, it seemed almost… Sinister… " _But I guess desperate times call for desperate measures, hmm? And if you're actually using me, in public, no less, that must mean you're_ REALLY _desperate… Hehe… I'll try not to disappoint, master."_

…Hngh… W-Whatever… I don't care at this point… The sooner this tournament ends, the sooner I can… H-Hahh… S-Soon, Fifi… Soon…

J-Just…

H-Hopefully not too soon…

* * *

A/N: Bleh. Man, writing fight scenes burns me out so quickly... In more positive news, though, the chapter that I'm sure the vast majority of you have been waiting for should be coming up soon. Well, a tasteful version will be uploaded here, the full on version will be uploaded to AO3 but that's hella easy to get to, just google "ChoiceBrogan AO3" (that's ChoiceBrogan with no space in between words) and I'm the first result. It's not locked to guests or anything like that so you should all be able to easily read it there and then come back to this site to tell me how disappointed and/or upset you are by my beyond subpar writing of it. Coincidentally, that's also the chapter I've been dreading the most, because it means I have to actually write the aforementioned smut, and oh boy, that should just be a blast... But that's not here yet. Soon, though. Also yeah, deffo gonna try to do the every other week upload schedule for as long as I can, this feels comfortable enough. I still might sneak in an update within a week's time on the rare occasion the inspiration to write hits me, but for the most part, I'll be attempting a bi-weekly chapter upload schedule from here on out. Let's see how long it takes me to break that. I MEAN, if it takes me longer than two weeks, check my profile, I'll try to leave updates there if I know it's going to be a while longer. Anyways yeah, rambling terribly now, I got fucking work in the morning, later fambonis~


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Okay, so, I'm an asshole. That's my delay excuse this time. I happened into a Switch shortly after uploading the last chapter, and I've been busy saving Hyrule since then and just... Haven't felt like writing. At all. And totally forgot about the whole 'status updates on my profile' thing. My b, fam. But, on the plus side for what I'm assuming is the vast majority of you reading this, the hot and heavy shit starts this chapter. This is the clean(ish) version here on fanfictiondotnet, the AO3 upload of this chapter has the smut if you're looking for that. Which I'm sure you are. Again, easiest way I can direct you there without being able to post a direct link to it is to just google "ChoiceBrogan Boundaries" (with no space between Choice and Brogan), and click the Archive Of Our Own link. Alternatively, the person that curates the TvTropes article for this story has kindly put a link to it on that page, if that's any easier for anyone to find. Muchos kudos to whoever you are, by the way, TvTropes Page Curator Man/Woman, you are both brodacious AND jawesome. But, anyways, yeah, smut and shit. This chapter and next, most likely. Hopefully that makes up for the wait this time. As usual, many thanks to those who have reviewed, and whatever else I usually say. Y'all already know how legit I think y'all are. As for specific review replies...

Daveorn: Whoops, my bad. I've never really thought about the laughter thing because I'm so used to it, I suppose. That's how I tend to express laughter when I'm talking to my illest homeslices through text rather than just saying lol or whatever, and I think I picture it like it is in RPGs and stuff where it's just written out because... Well, it probably has to be since game text is in script format. My apologies, though, didn't realize it was annoying, I'll do my best to cut down on it whenever I notice it going forward. As far as Assy's awful speaking habits, eh... The kind of people I'm basing him on do tend to speak like that, because they generally don't give a shit who or what they offend and probably hope to do so in the first place. It's honestly just more realistic to me, because holy fucking shit you don't even know how casually people in the schools I attended threw around those kinds of words. But, fair enough. I will try to curtail Assy's speech to just regular old cussing for the most part from here on out. I do appreciate the kind words, though, as well as you taking the time to bring this stuff up to me so I can fix it.

Nobody: Thanks fam, 'preciate the kind words. Yeah, Assy is a right cunt, huehuehuehue. Regarding Stone's parents, yeah, they will have plenty of future appearances and will feature more prominently down the line. This story still has a long, long way to go, after all.

KirisunaPercabeth: Ehe, yeah, uh, sorry about that whole taking a month to upload again thing... Regarding the battles, yeah, I'm uh, probably going to be keeping them to a minimum whenever possible due to how very much I loathe them and am bored by writing them, but rest assured, any crucial battles that I can't just speed through or skip outright will likely end up going on for much longer. But, thanks a bunch as always for the very kind words, and I hope you continue to enjoy the story!

7sky: Yeeeeah, I'm real bad with the whole stutter thing across everything I write, I go much more for the 'realistic, ugly' dialogue thing that I'm probably not supposed to do rather than something more polished and presentable because I just enjoy it more. Definitely not for everyone, I know, but eh, it's what I enjoy to write and read, at least. Glad you're enjoying things so far, though, and appreciate the kind words!

Nicholas: Thanks a bunch for the incredibly high praise! Glad you're enjoying the story thus far, and uh, don't fret, things get a lot less innocent this chapter... Though hopefully it still remains just as interesting and touching. Stone and Fifi _did_ get kind of lucky with that particular Return being reflected into Pikachu while his guard was down, but yes, that's what I'm going for with their bond, so good to see that's showing as well as I'd hoped. And don't worry about this story ending anytime soon, I'm in it for the long haul on this one. The long, long, _long_ haul.

Yeah, time for me to shut up. Hope y'all enjoy~

* * *

"…Seriously?"

"Not a fuckin' word, Tardacre."

That… Actually wouldn't be too hard, as I was at a near loss for words anyways. I really shouldn't have been surprised by anything at this point with everything else that had already happened today, but… _Really?_ Of all the Pokémon I would have ever expected Assy to have…

"Dude, why-"

"I SAID NOT A WORD, TARDO!"

…My God, It's almost as if I can actually feel little bits of my intelligence flaking away every time he speaks…

" _Ah… Please, do feel free to disregard anything that happens to come out of my wonderful and caring master's mouth, would you? I keep meaning to get him a muzzle to prevent him from sticking his foot in it as he is so very, very wont to do, but, shockingly, I never seem to have the time to do anything but battle anymore before my Pokéball decides it misses the feeling of having me inside of it too much. Strange how that keeps happening, hmm, master?_ "

G-Gah… The sound, or feeling, or… Whatever you want to call it of the Gardevoir's 'voice' rang out clearly once again in my mind, overriding every other thought I had been previously having to make room for it. Even after she had stopped, I could still feel the distinct, unpleasant buzzing sensation that meant she was still tuned in to my mind's coordinates, or frequency, or however the fuck Fifi had described it. Nothing like the feeling of having someone tune into your mind as if it were a God damned radio station… Curiously, or perhaps more aptly, troublingly, Fifi seemed to react as if she were hearing it too, but the moment I caught her gaze, she quickly jerked her head away from me, the same way she had done every other time I had tried to look her in the eyes or get her attention since we had left the locker room this last time. Combined with the fact that she was still panting heavily as if she had just ran a marathon, and how fidgety her arms and trembly her legs had gotten, I was starting to get the horrible feeling that she was doing the exact thing I told her not to do… God, Fifi, you'd better not be pushing yourself beyond your limits…

"Sh-Shut up, Skye, I didn't give you any fucking permission to interact with that idiot!" Assy sputtered at his Gardevoir, his even more pathetic than usual tone of voice distracting me entirely, and only managing to elicit a laugh from his Gardevoir. "Hngh, and you wonder why I don't let you out anymore…"

" _Please, master_." Skye responded, making my brain itch again. " _I just figured that you must be really serious about winning this if you're calling upon me rather than one of your little pets, so why not maximize our chances of success by opening a clear and easy channel of communication between us and our partners? This way, we can-_ "

"Oh hell no, those bitches ain't _NO_ partners of ours, Skye, let's get that straight right now!" Assy interjected, pointing at me and Fifi with his usual crooked sneer etched upon his even more crooked face. Skye, however, seemed unfazed, as she merely folded her arms and shot him a look that said she was more than used to getting this kind of reaction from him.

" _Right, so, as I was saying, this way, we can keep in contact with them during the battle so that we can at least attempt to work in unison as a team rather than… Whatever on Earth you want to call what that was that you did in your previous battles. I'm sure that our non-partners will appreciate it, in any case._ "

"N-No way, I don't want to work as a team with that worthless dillweed and his pathetic girlfriend!" Assy whined, causing another snide grin to form on Skye's face.

" _Well, it's a good thing you're not the one in charge here then, isn't it?_ "

Assy, though looking primed and ready to go off on Skye for that remark like he had done to everyone else he had come in contact with countless times already, seemed to bite his lip, an odd, highly dissatisfied sounding grunting noise escaping from his lips, but not much else. Skye let out a smug little chuckle at the sight.

" _Yeah, that's what I thought._ "

Turning to face me, the smugness disappeared from Skye's face, but her expression still carried a hint of something that made me feel… Uneasy.

" _As I said, pay no heed to my master or his words, he doesn't know what he's talking about._ " she said, looking between me and Fifi and letting out another laugh. " _Although, I'm sure you two have had ample time to realize that by now._ "

I… Honestly didn't know how to respond to any of that. I wasn't used to communicating with any Pokémon other than Fifi, and wasn't sure whether to speak out loud or… Uh… Think… My words…? Gah, I hate this psychic crap…

" _I mean, whichever is easier for you, dear._ " Skye abruptly said, giving me a shrug. " _In this state, I can read your thoughts just as easily as I can understand your words, so it's no skin off my back either way. Although, I have a feeling you'll much prefer the latter._ "

…Hngh. "Right, whatever… Look, just… Definitely don't read my mind, please? Or Fifi's, for that matter…"

Skye gave me another strange, unsettling smile before nodding. " _Of course, since you said please. Although, speaking of your partner, if I may put your mind at ease, I don't believe your dear Braixen is in the state she's in due to any amount of overexertion on her part…_ "

"M-Mind your own business…" Fifi said, her voice low and raspy, doing nothing to put my mind at ease at all as it seemed to have taken her a fair amount of effort just to do that. Though, my mind was anything but at ease to begin with knowing there was an intruder in it listening in to my private thoughts…

" _Don't worry, dear, my lips are sealed. Though I'm… Not quite sure I can say the same for yours…_ " Skye said, directing her unpleasantly toothy smile at Fifi, whose only response was a whimpering grunt as her legs somehow tightened together even more than they already were. " _But this shouldn't take too long, in any case, so just, try to hang in there. You and your master just focus on our opponents, you won't have to worry about being on the receiving end of anything but support from myself and dear Rumpus this time, I give you my word._ "

I turned to Assy, and couldn't keep the smug off of my face as I caught sight of just how desperately he seemed to want to call me and Fifi something horribly offensive and/or derogatory, yet continued to remain silent. "Is that right? Do I have your word too, Assy? I mean, after all, you _are_ the trainer, aren't you? Shouldn't _you_ be the one telling us these things?"

"' _Trainer' is just a silly title, you of all people should recognize that._ " Skye said sharply in place of Assy. " _We're partners, just as you and your dear Fifi are. It's up to the both of us to decide what the best course of action is at any given moment, but as it turns out, my master is unfortunately deficient in the decision-making department more often than he is not, so it's up to me to take charge in those instances. In other words, I speak for both of us when I say don't worry about any friendly fire this time around. It won't happen. Period. Now, I do believe that is enough idle chit-chat for the time being, since our lovely opponents seem to be growing more impatient by the moment. Do not fret, Stone Hardacre, for you and your darling Fifi are in… Good hands._ "

…Right… Nothing disconcerting about such words coming from someone with such a maniacal grin…

" _Nope. REAL good hands…_ "

…Hngh…

* * *

"Yeah, nice one, Fi! You're on fire!"

I frowned a little as Fifi seemed to completely ignore my awful wordplay, not giving so much as an annoyed grunt as she instead remained deathly focused on the Gengar she had just roasted. It wasn't like her to miss an opportunity to chastise me over something like that, but she hadn't been acting like herself for the entire battle so far. She had hardly said a word, instead focusing entirely on her opponents with an intensity I wasn't used to seeing from her. On the plus side, her attacks seemed to be packing an extra punch, her fire attacks in particular, and combined with an actual teammate in Skye, who, true to her word, hadn't once tried to or allowed Assy to direct her to use any attacks that would catch Fifi as well as our opponents (and on the contrary had been directing me and Fifi towards openings to attack that she had created), we had our opponents on the ropes, victory feeling so tantalizingly close yet still so far away, as our opponents were still no slouches either. As opposed to all of our previous opponents, these guys were actually working pretty smoothly as a team, which was probably why they had made it this far to begin with. Still, the longer the battle had gone, the clearer it had become which one of them was the weak link, as he and his Gengar were getting sloppier and more desperate as we focused our attacks on him rather than his teammate's Bisharp. Just a little bit more, Fi…

" _Hmmhmm, oh yes, she is definitely on fire right now, dear._ " Skye said, drawing a quick look of scorn from Fifi before she turned back to the Gengar.

"C-Come on, Stone…" Fifi huffed in impatience. "We c-can't let up now…"

"R-Right…" I said, shaking my thoughts away. "Hit him with a Psybeam while he's down, that should be enough to take him out!"

Fifi grunted in acknowledgement, rushing into a more opportune spot before letting loose a swirling, rainbow-hued beam of psychic energy from her stick at the Gengar.

"Bisharp, deflect it!"

Before it could finish the job, however, the opponent's Bisharp had rushed in front of Fifi's attack with blinding speed, sticking its arm up and causing Fifi's Psybeam to yet again bounce harmlessly off of it. I kicked the ground in frustration, as this has been going on the entire battle so far, and was why Fifi had been mainly using fire attacks to whittle the Gengar's health away.

"Quick, counterattack with Payback, Bisharp!"

Ah, shit! "Fi, f-fire! Hurry!"

Fi scrambled to ready her stick again, but couldn't so much as get it focused on the Bisharp before it was already crossing over to smash her. Before he could reach her, however, Skye swiftly flew in between them, stopping the Bisharp dead in his tracks as he caught sight of her, his intense expression dropping in an instant.

" _Uh-uh-uh…_ " Skye tutted, waggling her finger in front of the Bisharp cloyingly as he followed it with puppy dog eyes, still helplessly under the spell of her attraction as he had been since the start of the battle when she had used it on him. I… Really need to see if Flint has that TM next time I see him… Though, I'm not sure I really want Fifi attracting that kind of attention from anyone other than… U-Um…

" _What are you two waiting for?_ " Skye said suddenly in annoyance, though her gaze remained firmly locked with the Bisharp's. " _Stop letting your minds wander in the heat of battle, hurry up and attack!_ "

I gave a quick nod before turning to Fifi. "Fi, he's at point-blank range, hit him with the biggest Fire Blast you can muster!"

Fifi caught my gaze for the briefest moment, letting out a strange gasp as she did, before sidestepping away from Skye. She held her stick directly in front of herself with both hands, far lower than she usually did, her entire body trembling as her hands began to glow with a bright, continuous light, one which coursed steadily into her stick until finally, it reached the tip of it. As it did, Fifi's entire body seemed to clench for a moment before she threw her head back and let out an ungodly scream as a massive, all-encompassing gout of fire spewed forth from her stick, engulfing the Bisharp entirely for a good couple of seconds until Fifi could no longer hold the attack. As it died out with a bang, the force of the flames propelled her back and sent her tumbling head over backwards, coming to a stop right in front of me with her butt sticking up in the air, giving me a full view of her…

Uh…

Ohh…

F-Fuck…

"… _ **A-Ah!**_ "

As Fifi got her bearings, she quickly realized where she was and just how compromising of a position she was in, and immediately scrambled back to her feet with a mortified cry. As she turned to look at me, I couldn't hide my burning, shocked face quick enough, nor could she hers. She hastily clamped her legs together to try and hide her swollen, dripping pu… Er, p-privates, but… It was too late for that… My expression must have told her as much, as she dropped to her hands and knees and lowered her head in defeat. I…

"AND THERE YOU HAVE IT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! SIMPLY INCREDIBLE!"

…Didn't have time to think about it, as the crowd began to roar in an absolute frenzy while the professor's voice rang out in exuberance and Assy began to hoot and holler beside me. As I forced my gaze away from Fifi, I saw why. Skye had wasted no time in dispatching the Gengar once Fifi had taken care of the Bisharp, meaning… We had won. Fifi, however, looked anything but happy… I could no longer see her face, but I could see the tears dripping down from it onto the floor. I… Couldn't let anyone else see her like this… As soon as the safety wall went down, I rushed forward and scooped Fifi up into my arms, making sure to push her tail up under her so that her privates would _stay_ private.

As I made my way forward with Fifi safely in my grasp, she let out a whimper and buried her face into me, her breath noticeably hot and heavy even through my shirt. "S-Stone… I'm…"

"Don't worry, Fi…" I said under my breath. "I got this."

"What an absolutely marvelous show of teamwork that was just put on display from both sides, quite the fitting end for our doubles finale!" the professor continued, as everyone made their way towards center stage where he stood. "It took quite a while, but Mr. Banstead and Mr. Hardacre were finally able to put their differences aside and work as a cohesive unit, just in the nick of time, too, as it would have taken no less to fell a team as formidable as Mr. Vargheese and Ms. Ruxandu! Truly, win or lose, the lot of you should be proud of yourselves for making it this far, for there is no shame in…"

The professor's voice slowly began to drone out in my head, my mind occupied by far more pressing matters than his horribly scripted participation award speech for our opponents. The entire tournament was far from my mind at this point, honestly… It was hard to focus on much of anything with… _That_ on my mind… I mean, it wasn't like that was the first time I had ever seen Fifi's… V-Vagina… But never like… That… I don't know how I didn't realize that she was… U-Um…

"God, you really are the most pathetic person I've ever met, Tardacre." Assy sneered, though I wouldn't have even noticed him had he not gotten close enough for me to gag on his stench.

"That's funny, because I feel the exact same way about you, Assy." I retorted, not in any mood to deal with his garbage. "You sure do spend a lot more time shitting on me and Fifi and everyone else around you than you do caring about your own business. If that's not pathetic, I don't know what is."

"I'll tell you what's pathetic, Tardacre, that's the way you treat your precious little fox as if she's the most delicate, fragile thing in the world. Why the hell are you even pretending to be a trainer for when you can't stand to see your Pokémon get a wittwe booboo? How the hell did she even get hurt in the first place? Wasn't she-"

"She isn't hurt." I said, glowering at him. "She has to use the bathroom. _Badly_. And I'm not sure how much longer she can hold it, so unless you want to smell even more like piss and shit than you already do, you'd best get to stepping."

Assy's look of disgust took on another form entirely as he backed away to a comical degree, nearly bumping into Skye in the process. She laughed and 'said' something to him, what, I don't know, since she, thank God, was no longer 'tuned in' to my mind. Whatever it was, though, elicited a wonderful reaction from Assy, his eyes bulging out like a frog while the rest of his face turned bright red and he stammered like an idiot for Skye to shut up. Tragically, I didn't have much time to enjoy the sight, as the professor turned to us with a particularly heavy sigh at the sound of our bickering, looking at me with particular concern once he noticed Fifi in my arms.

"Mr. Hardacre, is everything alright?" he asked, putting his hand up to the mic and moving away from it before speaking. "I wasn't expecting your Braixen to need another revive, but if that is the case, I'll have someone go and fetch one for her in short order."

"Uh, n-no, it's not that, professor…" I said as quietly as possible, not knowing just how strong the microphone was and not wanting Fifi to have to suffer any further embarrassment. "This is more of a… Bathroom emergency than anything…"

"Ah, I see, that's…" the professor stopped midsentence once he realized what I had said, bringing his hand to his chin and sniffling. He began to blink rapidly for a few moments, nodding absentmindedly before finally clearing his throat in an obnoxiously loud manner. "…Most unfortunate. Yes… Most unfortunate indeed… Er, but I suppose when nature calls, you must answer with a quickness, so…" Holding his hand up to me in a 'one moment' gesture, the professor turned back towards the mic. "Yes, indeed, this was one for the ages, ladies and gentlemen! In the, uh, essence of time, however, I do believe we should wrap things up so that our victors may have the proper time to prepare for their final, epic confrontation, so, uh, everyone shake hands, good show, good game, all of that delightful jazz, I do believe I should go and help Ms. Treeblood prepare for her appearance as well, and I most definitely should stop rambling like a blithering twit like I am doing yet again! Hmm, yes! Final showdown soon, ladies and gents!"

The professor quickly and, presumably unintentionally, dropped the mic, herded me, Assy, and our opponents to the center stage to very hastily shake hands (or bump fists, as it were, as rushed as I was), then sent Assy off to our locker room, before finally pulling me aside once we were off stage. Sensing the urgency on my face, he wasted no time in giving me directions to the nearest bathroom, asking only that we try and hurry. I… Wasn't too sure that would be possible, though… Nevertheless, I booked it down the hallway the professor had pointed me towards as quickly as I could for Fifi's sake. Once we were alone, Fifi shifted slightly in my arms, and looked up at me with eyes filled with shame and regret.

"…A-Ah, Stone, I…" she whimpered, her voice still ragged and her breath even hotter against my unprotected neck. "I'm s-sorry… I… I can't… H-Hahh…"

I quickly shook my head, thankful that I was walking and didn't have much of an opportunity to see the miserable expression she was giving me. "Why are you apologizing, Fi? You haven't done anything wrong."

"N-No, I'm…" she let out another despondent sounding whimper as she buried her face back into my chest in shame. "I sh-shouldn't have… C-Couldn't… I didn't m-mean to…"

"Fi, please…" I said, doing everything I could to stress to her that I wasn't upset in any way. "You're good. It's not anything I haven't seen before, and nobody else noticed a thing… Besides, if anyone's to blame, it's me for… For… Um…"

Fuck… Fifi… What the fuck have I started…? What am I even doing? Why did I have to… Hngh…

"…No… Master… Th-This is… I'm…"

Damn it, say something, Stone, don't let her start blaming herself for your idiotic fuckup, she doesn't deserve that, she's-

"… I-In heat…"

Yeah, you dick, she's…

…In…

…H-Heat…

…

…Shit.

That would…

Definitely explain things…

…We had reached the bathroom. As soon as we entered, I locked the door behind us immediately and thanked God that it was a single occupant faculty bathroom.

Shit, though… Fifi's… Oh, man…

"…Stone…"

Fifi was no longer curled up in my arms. While she was still technically in my grasp, she had shifted into a position where she was holding on to me just as much, her hands clutching onto my shoulders with a gentle firmness, and her face perfectly level with mine. Her sweet scent filled my nostrils; so intoxicating, it sent chills down my spine. Her warm breath felt so… Inviting…

"…I can't hold on… Any longer…"

Fifi's legs went from being wrapped around her tail to being wrapped around me in an instant. I stumbled back into the room's lone stall, having been ill-prepared for her sudden shift in weight, and quickly fell onto the porcelain throne. This only seemed to encourage her all the more, as she slid comfortably onto my lap, her legs still wrapped tightly around me as she grinded herself up against me, drawing ragged gasps out of the both of us.

"Nnh… S-Stone… I… Can't wait… It's… T-Too much… I…. I need you… Please… Forgive me, master…"

"Don't apologize, Fifi… This is something that we both want, so there's nothing to be sorry for…"

Fifi's heavily-lidded, love-filled eyes were too much for me to handle. There was no need for apologies at this point, from either of us. We both knew perfectly well what we were doing, and how much we both longed for it. There would be no interruptions this time. There would be no hesitation.

My arms moved of their own volition, wrapping themselves around Fifi, pressing her body tight to mine, letting her know that I would never, ever let her go.

"S-Stone…"

"You don't have to wait any longer… Fifi… I love you too…"

Fifi offered no resistance as I brought my lips to hers. In that moment, the world around us stopped. I felt no worries. I felt no doubts. All I felt was… Bliss. Wonderful, overwhelming, unadulterated bliss. My mind had come to a full stop, and my heart and my hormones took control. Never in my life had something ever felt so… _Right_ , as this did. Nevermind the fact that we were sharing our first kiss while sitting on a fucking toilet in a public bathroom; nothing, not that, or anything else, could take anything away from this moment. Being able to share this with… My beautiful, irreplaceable best friend… The only one I could ever feel this way towards… The… Love of my life… Something that I never, ever thought I would have the courage or the balls to do… This is… Really happening… I'm… Kissing Fifi…

" _Mmm_ …"

A moan escaped from Fifi's lips, but rather than part to catch her breath, she instead pushed deeper. Her sweet taste was… Overpowering. I didn't need air. I needed _that_. A taste like nothing I had ever experienced before in my life. Our tongues intertwined, grasping to each other for dear life. My tongue brushed against her snaggletooth as it fought with hers for position… That thing that she despised so, because it made her feel 'less human', that I found to be one of the cutest things about her.

"…Ah…"

We were forced to part, as our lungs finally gave out. Panting for breath, Fifi stared back at me as I momentarily released her from my grasp, my hands falling to her hips, giving both of us a little more space as I did my best to catch my own breath, her taste still caught in my mouth and tantalizing me all the more.

"Stone…"

"…S-Sorry…" I said, regaining enough of my mind to realize I had acted without warning, and feeling a crushing wave of guilt getting ready to crash into me.

"Don't." Fifi said instantly, putting her finger to my lips before I could apologize any further. The look she gave me was one of pure happiness… Of unrelenting love. In all the time I had known her, I don't think I had ever seen her look so happy…

…There's no way what I was doing was wrong.

Fifi quickly moved back towards me, without a hint of trepidation. She pressed herself up against me, pushing me back, as she wrapped her arms more intimately around my neck. I brought my own arms back up to her shoulders, and now at perfect eye level, with no space between us, I could tell that her eyes weren't filled with just love at this point. Our breath returned, we wasted no time in renewing our kiss.

…This wasn't wrong.

My hands caressed her back, as I ran my fingers through the thick, white mantle of fur that fell over her shoulder blades. I felt a chill course throughout myself as I pressed her quivering body closer to mine, locking my fingers in place behind her neck in the same way she held mine. Our tongues danced with minds of their own, as all my mind was focused on was taking in as much of her flavor as I could. No way I would ever be able to call kissing gross after this… It's incredible.

When we finally broke apart, a thin, shimmering string of saliva remained between our lips for the smallest instant, before tearing apart and dripping onto my shirt. As I looked down to watch its journey, I noticed I already had a damp spot pooling at the bottom of my shirt, where Fifi sat… And it was getting bigger. As my gaze drifted up to meet hers, she seemed to want nothing to do with it, as she gave me a sheepish, sideways glance.

"S-Sorry, Stone… My heat is just… Wrecking me right now… I, um…" she pushed herself away from me, doing everything in her power to avoid my gaze. "Th-This is… Only my second time… The first time was… Miserable, just… Agonizing, but… You weren't around that often last time, you were at school for most of the days, so I… I had time and opportunities to… Deal with it. But I… I don't think I can… I don't know if I can handle it on my own this time, master… It's already as strong as it was at its absolute worst last time… I know this is the worst possible time for this to start, but… I can't help it… I have no control over my stupid body and its stupid urges… N-Not right now, at least… The things you said to me earlier just… Sent it into overdrive, I guess… I just… H-Hate it… It wouldn't happen if I were a human… And trying to suppress it is just… Impossible."

Her gaze lingered on the floor for a moment, before she finally looked back up, her eyes still shut, giving me a cute, embarrassed little smile.

"I… I should've realized it was coming on again, because all I've been able to think about for the past few days is you, Stone. I mean, you're all I ever think about anyways, but this is… Different." She finally allowed her eyes to meet mine, and there was a… Desperation in them. "That's why I've been so… Goopy with you lately… I can't… I can't help myself. I've felt so hot down there since it started… I can't satiate it myself… I… Crave you, Stone. It's more than just simple desire… It's… A part of me I can't contain. I know you probably don't want to hear this, but it's… A part of my instincts, something that I don't think I'll be able to just ignore and forget about like everything else. I… I _**need**_ you, master… I need to feel you inside me… I need you to fill me until I can't take anymore… My body is screaming at me… I-It wants me to… To bear your children… I-I know, I know it's insane, and that's impossible… And it's definitely not something I would ever so much as entertain the idea of with a clear mind… I don't want to… H-Have any children, at least, n-not right now… But my body and my mind are sabotaging me… I don't want to listen to reason right now. But If I can just… If I can at least make myself feel satisfied up to that point and convince my stupid body… This can go away, and then I won't… Want something so… S-Stupid anymore… At least… Not until my next heat…"

"…Oh."

It was difficult finding words at this point. Fifi in heat was… Definitely not something that I had ever cared to think about before… Or maybe just something I had never allowed myself to think about. But the proof was right there in front of me, soaking into my shirt, sticking it to my stomach.

"Stone…" There was a hunger in Fifi's voice that matched the desperation in her eyes. Love had given way to lust, and she wasn't even trying to hide it anymore. I was beginning to have my own trouble with it, as my jeans began to tighten around my crotch, constricting it in an incredibly uncomfortable way. "Look… You don't… You don't know how happy you've made me… The one thing that I've wanted more than anything else in my entire life, and the only thing I'll ever want or need to be truly happy, you've given to me… Just knowing that you have the same feelings for me that I've always had for you, I feel like I'm dreaming right now, master… B-But…" Fifi's gaze lowered, her eyes falling upon her own damp spot in shame for a moment as she nervously fiddled with her hands, before gently placing them in mine and looking back up at me. "I know I'm… I'm trying to move things way too fast here… I don't want to make this seem like it's purely driven by lust and perverted desires, because nothing could be further from the truth. This is so much more than that, master… I really do love you with every fiber of my being, not just my loins… All that cheesy, goopy stuff I say is one-hundred percent the truth. B-But right now, all my mind and body are telling me is 'fuck all that sappy bullshit, just give me the fucking D already'… It's… G-Gross…"

I let out a small chuckle at Fifi's attempt to lighten the mood and gave her hands a squeeze. "I know, Fi… You don't have to convince me, I know full and well just how much you love me. And I know your love is pure. It's… Beautiful, Fifi. I don't know what I ever did to deserve a love as true and powerful as what you feel for me, but… I know the only thing I could ever possibly do that could even come close to repaying you for it is… Returning it. Which I do, gladly. I'm not anywhere near as comfortable or skilled at expressing my feelings as you are, but just… Please know, my love for you is just as deep and just as goopy. And also know that I realize the perverted thoughts aren't exactly something you can control right now… Believe me, I know all about uncontrollable perverted thoughts… And don't worry, they're always all about you. Just… Trust me, I… I _definitely_ want to give you the fucking D, Fi, said fucking D is telling me that that sounds like the best fucking idea ever. It's just… I don't know if this is exactly the best time or place for… Something like that… And fuck, you do not _know_ just how hard it is for me to say that… Hngh…"

"…Nnh… I-I know… You're right, Stone…" Fifi said, her face drooping even more than mine had. Soon, however, it perked back up, and a small, impish smile began to slowly creep across her lips. "…Ahh… But… You know… I don't think it'd be a very good idea for us to head back out there in our current conditions…" Fifi's hand slowly made its way down to our nether regions, brushing against my trapped and miserable manhood and tracing a line down it through my jeans, causing it to practically beg for me to release it from its prison as a powerful shudder wracked my body. As Fifi stared back up at me, her grin only grew wider and more mischievous. "I've been able to relieve some of it, but I'm still horribly pent up, and it's obvious that I've caused you the same misfortune. If nothing else, at least allow me to apologize and make it up to you by helping you… Rectify that… It's the least I can do to repay you for the happiness you've brought me… Plus, it should probably be enough to help push me over and get me through, at least until we have the proper time and place to perform the main event…"

"Ah, F-Fi…" My eyes went wide at her suggestion, but the combined force of my rapidly-beating heart and my angrily-persuasive dick meant my brain was going to have no say in this matter. No fucking way was I going to turn _that_ down. I pressed my forehead against hers, returning her smile whole-heartedly. "…That is definitely an offer that I can't refuse."

Fifi giggled in that impossibly adorable way that she was so very good at, giving me an almost agonizingly short kiss, before quickly casting her eyes to the side with a look of slight hesitance. "…Ah… Are you… Sure you're okay with this, though…? I don't want to make you do something you might end up… Um… R-Regretting… Later on…"

I gave Fifi a small laugh of my own as I caressed her cheek, bringing her lips back into mine so I could get my fill of her taste. "Fi, any regrets I may have had about any of this died back in that locker room when I first bared my soul to you. Or, well, _tried_ to, at least… I'm sure once I'm thinking straight, my shitty, self-loathing mind will give me a shitload of things to stress out about and hate myself over, but I won't ever regret making you happy, Fi. Your smiling face is all I need to tell me that I made the right decision. Fuck regrets."

* * *

A/N: So yeah, if it wasn't obvious, the chapter continues from this point over on the AO3 upload, and I would definitely recommend heading over there to continue reading, since that's like, a third of the chapter. I, uh, wouldn't get too excited about it, though, I'm not particularly fond of or skilled at writing smut and shit, so it's probably... Lacking. But oh well, I say that about everything I write, so eh. I will say, I still plan on keeping my normal upload schedule at around once every two weeks or so when possible, but this next chapter might take a bit longer than that, around as long as this one did, if only because it's going to be a particularly important chapter and I want it to be perfect. _**OH WAIT NO**_ , what I meant to say is it's because it'll also have smut and it takes me forever to write that.

Anyways yeah. I don't have anything more to say that I can think of besides my usual self-loathing bullshit, so later, peeps~


	12. Chapter 12

Hey. Meant to have this uploaded a couple days ago, but something fucking awful happened. Don't feel like replying to anyone, sorry, thank you for your kind words and all that if you've commented, and sorry as always for the wait. As I put in my profile update, the chapter got too long and I'm splitting it in half, so the smut isn't here yet, it'll be in the next chapter. I really, really don't feel like writing anything right now, but I'll do my best to get the next part up in the next couple weeks since it's mostly written already anyways. Get mad at me if you wish, over that, or over how long this update has taken, or whatever else. I don't want to talk anymore. Enjoy, I guess.

* * *

"Ah, Mr. Hardacre, _there_ you are! I was beginning to worry that you had somehow managed to get lost going down a singular hallway!"

The professor's eye seemed to have developed a nasty twitch as he let out a laugh that was somehow even more stiff and wooden than the painfully forced smile of politeness that was etched upon his face. Ten or so minutes of furious cleaning later, Fifi and I had made it back to the locker room, where the professor, Assy, and, for whatever reason, Purple, all waited with varying degrees of scorn and impatience. It's amazing what you can accomplish with just toilet paper and liquid soap when you're in a bind, as the bathroom was probably cleaner now than it had been before our visit. Fifi and myself, however… Not so much. As it turns out, it's much more difficult to get spunk out of clothes and fur than it is bathroom tile and a toilet. Particularly with just toilet paper and handsoap. Fifi, luckily, didn't mind sticking her face under a blowdryer for a minute straight, being a fire type and all. I, on the other hand, am not a fire type, so trying to do the same with the bottom of my shirt and crotch of my pants turned out to be a quite fruitless, quite painful endeavor, and I was forced to instead tie my jacket around my waist and hope I didn't look too conspicuous. Which, judging by the increasingly scrutinizing looks I was getting, was failing. Miserably. Thankfully, I still had one ace left up my sleeve.

"N-No sir, that would be ridiculous, what actually happened was… Well…" I began, exhaling sharply in embarrassment before continuing. "I uh, figured I should try to pinch one off as well while I had the chance, but I… Um… Well, I'm kind of… Incontinent right now. You might say that I'm, uh, pardon my French, _full of crap_ , so to speak. And it's… Unfortunately moist. See, my brother makes his own chili, and he brought some home last night for me and the rest of our family to try, but he didn't feel the need to tell me until after I had already eaten a bowl of it that it wasn't supposed to be green chili, and I-"

"That is… _Quite_ enough information, Mr. Hardacre." the professor said, holding his hand up to stop me from going any further, his face twinging into a queasy shade that was not at all dissimilar to the color of Flint's chili. The looks of disgust I got brought me nothing but relief, and I silently thanked Flint for probably one of the only good pieces of advice he's ever given me, that being, ain't _nobody_ wanna hear about your shit. 'Specially when you use the m-word to describe it. And in the end, being known as the guy who vividly describes his own poop is much more preferable than the alternative…

"Ah, gotcha, my b…" I said, shrinking further into my false embarrassment to help drive it home. "…Just a heads up though, you prolly wanna get some more toilet paper when possible… And a plunger. Maybe some more s-"

" _Duly noted_ , Mr. Hardacre." the professor tersely said through clenched teeth, letting me know he wanted nothing more to do with the subject of mine and Fifi's little bathroom break.

 _Just as planned._

 _Told_ you I could figure a way out of that, Fi. I mean, we still just completely and irreparably fucked both of our lives up forever, but, eh, can't focus on that right now! We still have to kick Assy's ass in front of the entire school and make him look like the stupid idiot that he is first. And man, it feels like I should be freaking out right now, but I'm just… Not. I feel fucking great, actually! My heart is all light and fluttery and all my stress seems to have melted like butter…y. I feel like I'm on cloud nine! I want to say that it's just that blowjobs are fucking awesome, but… I know it's more than that. So much more. The blowjob was just a bonus. A fucking awesome bonus, mind you, but still. I've never felt this way before. I'm… Happy. Truly, genuinely happy. All I have to do is look at Fifi, to see the giddily content smile that hasn't left her lips since she cleaned them off and it… Overwhelms me. Just knowing that she loves me, let alone as much as she does… Not that I ever had any doubt about that, of course, but… Finally being able to admit to myself and to her that I love her just as much, and seeing how indescribably happy she is, too… Why did I wait so long? This is… Bliss. This can't be wrong. It fucking can't be. God, I just want to hold her in my arms and never let her go…

"God, Tardacre, you are _such_ a freak."

…Of course, leave it to Assy to yank my head back down from the clouds. Thanks, fam…

"Keeping me waiting for something as idiotic and disgusting as that, and expecting anyone to take you seriously? You really _are_ full of shit, you know that?"

"Christ's sake, you two, leave it for the battlefield." the professor said before I could respond to Assy's not exactly incorrect claim, his posh public aura disappearing for the briefest of moments as he glowered at the both of us in warning. But that was fine, I needed to focus, anyways. I couldn't allow myself to be distracted by Assy's bullshit.

"Yeah, remember master, he's not worth your time or effort to get upset over, anyways… We'll put him in his place together, soon enough~…"

…Or by my desires. Hngh… No, now was… Definitely not the time to be thinking about that, regardless of how happy it made me. I couldn't afford to lose this match. Not to this idiot, not in front of all these people… I would… God, I'd never be able to live that down…

"Now, I presume you've both had _plenty_ of time to strategize and prepare for this final battle, and I'm sure the crowd is just about ready to revolt, so why don't we get this show on the road?" the professor continued, motioning us towards the arena. "If you gentlemen would both be so kind as to follow Ms. Treeblood and I to the arena, and for the love of God, do try and keep from tearing each other's jugulars out in the meantime…"

Yeah, no worries there, professor, I'd stick my hand in a beehive before I touch that freak's neck…

* * *

"-and again, my deepest apologies for the brief wait, everyone! One of our finalists had the slight misfortune to accidentally lock themselves out on the way back from the lavatory, but rest assured, the offending lock has been swiftly dealt with, and everything is now perfectly fine."

As the professor prattled on, Assy let out an irritated grunt, seemingly upset that the professor had decided to cover for my lie with an even worse but decidedly less disgusting one. Or possibly just that he didn't say it was me. Probably the latter. Though, it didn't really matter to me either way, since my stress was starting to creep back into my mind, never content to leave me alone for more than a fleeting moment. Now that I couldn't focus solely on Fifi, the adrenaline high from what we had done was slowly beginning to wear off, and reality was starting to set back in.

And it.

Fucking.

 _ **Sucked**_.

There was so much going through my mind, yet I had to focus on this stupid tournament that I had no desire to be a part of in the first place. I should be out there in the audience taking a snooze, not here on the center stage getting ready to make a fool out of myself and Fifi for the fourth time tonight. And Fi… God, she _really_ doesn't need to be out here right now, not if she's… Hngh, fuck… She said herself she doesn't know how long she can hold out until that shit starts back up again, and this is… Definitely not the time nor the place for that to happen. We need to end this thing as quickly as possible, but… As dumb as Assy is, he pretty much knows Fi's entire moveset now, and I doubt he'll give her enough time to get a Return off without having to wear his stupid murderbeast down first… And that's assuming he doesn't use Skye, which, if that's the case… Ffffffuck… I don't want to lose to this asshole… But I don't want Fi to…

…Augh, God damn it, why couldn't today have just been nice and normal and boring? Nooooo, of course not, I had to get on my parents' bad side for the stupidest of reasons, then get in a fight the moment I got here, meet up with the one person that could possibly drive Fifi nuts with jealousy after getting lost for the fiftieth time, get stuck competing in this stupid tournament with the biggest piece of shit that I've ever met in my entire life as a partner, and then, only then, do I allow myself to make the biggest… Nnk… No… I can't call what happened between me and Fifi a mistake… I have no regrets and I feel no shame about it… But… Why did it have to happen _now…_? This is…

…This is why mom and dad didn't want Fifi to come with me. They're not stupid; they saw this coming… Fifi never tried very hard to hide her feelings for me from them, and I… I don't think I ever convinced them of my own lie as much as I convinced myself of it. I knew better than to ever let myself think otherwise around them, but with just how quickly those mental boundaries collapsed without them here to subconsciously scare me into keeping them up and hiding the truth from myself and everyone else, I get the sinking feeling that I never really managed to hide it any better than Fifi did. But I can't hide it anymore, this has been… A long time coming. Everything mom and dad were worrying would happen is happening, and it hasn't even been a day. I'm supposed to be convincing Fifi that she's only my Pokémon and nothing more, and instead I've only confirmed that she's more to me than anyone else, human or Pokémon, could ever be. I just… Augh, this is so…

" _Breathe_ , Stone."

…It somehow took Fifi actually saying so to trigger in my mind that I hadn't exhaled in… Quite some time. Good God, what is wrong with me…?

"I know this is stressful, but you don't have to worry. We've got this in the bag." Fi continued, her smile unwavering as ever. Her voice and expression exuded a casualness and confidence I was only ever used to her showing when we were alone, not in public, and certainly never in front of a crowd. "You know I won't let you down, there's nothing that jerk can throw at me that I can't handle! I'm focused and I'm ready, but I need you to be too, y'know…"

I gave her a short nod. "I know…" She clearly was not too impressed by my less-than-enthusiastic response, as she continued to stare up at me in wait of a better response, causing me to let out a disgruntled sigh. "I know, I know, Fi. I know I need to focus on this, I'm sure I will once the battle actually starts. It's just…"

I didn't have to tell Fifi what was preoccupying my mind. She nodded and looked away into the crowd, her cheeks beginning to pinken as the same thoughts that were going through my mind likely raced through hers as well. "…Yeah. It's difficult. Believe me, I realize that, Stone. I… Don't really want to deal with this dumb tournament anymore than you do at this point, but… We can't lose to this dork. I know you, and the last thing in the world I want right now is for that idiot of all people to put you in an awful mood and ruin what should be the most important and special night of our lives later tonight. But… We need to use that as the goal. It'll be our own, special victory celebration… So just focus on making sure we have a victory to celebrate, okay? It'll make it all the sweeter~…"

"O-Okay…" I replied, nodding quickly to scatter my thoughts before they became perverse.

"Anyways, it sounds like it's almost time, Stone." Fifi added, motioning my attention over to the professor.

"-yes indeed, it will be tough to match the thrill and excitement of last year's finale, as I'm sure the winner of said tournament, Ms. Treeblood, can attest to, but if anyone would be up to the challenge, it would most certainly be the two young men standing proudly upon the stage right now!"

Finishing his sentence with a flourish, the professor stepped aside, sweeping his arm towards myself and Assy in a grand motion, the spotlights falling upon us as the crowd roared with approval (or far more likely impatience) all around us. I could feel my skin begin to crawl at the thought of so many people staring at me, scrutinizing me, judging me for any number of reasons. It was all I could do to just give a quick gesture of acknowledgement before pulling my cap down, doing my best to look focused rather than like the massive dweeb that I'm sure I came off as. Assy, of course, had no qualms about looking and acting like a massive dweeb. In fact, if he were to wear a sign and market himself as the World's Biggest Goober, he could probably make good money as one of those stupid roadside attractions that people like my parents love dragging their children to see under the incredibly false guise of entertainment. I should remember to tell him that actually, he'd no doubt appreciate it.

"Your finalists, Mr. Rumpus Banstead and Mr. Stone Hardacre!" the professor bellowed, drawing even more unpleasant attention upon Fifi and myself, though at least Assy was doing an excellent job of deflecting most of it to himself instead. Once the crowd quieted a bit, the professor turned to us and continued. "Gentlemen, your Pokémon, if you'd please."

I looked down at Fifi and let out a tight breath as I nodded to her. As she stepped forward, she turned around and gave me a wink.

"We've got this, Stone."

"And you, Mr. Banstead?" the professor asked, as Assy dawdled about, fumbling with his balls.

"…Ugh, guess I don't have a choice…" I could hear him mutter to himself, as he finally seemed to decide on a ball that I recognized immediately as his Gardevoir's, causing my stomach to sink a bit. "Can't take the fucking chance… Don't make me regret this, Skye."

As Skye emerged from her Pokéball in a golden shower of sparkles, she giggled in her exceptionally creepy manner and said something to Assy that made him cringe hardcore. I again tragically didn't have time to revel in his misery, however, as she quickly turned to me and Fifi and gave us another one of her awful, toothy grins, sending a chill up my spine, and likely Fifi's as well, judging by our simultaneous shudders. She soon fixed her gaze on Fifi, and her smooth, syrupy voice once again entered uninvited into our minds.

" _My, SOMEONE'S head is a lot clearer now. I take it you were able to get the… Assistance you so desperately needed?_ " Skye said to Fifi, glancing curiously at me for a moment before letting out another laugh as Fifi suddenly froze at her words. " _Heh, I'll take that look as a yes. I must say, I'm a bit jealous, Rumpus hasn't…_ " Skye's attention drifted towards her idiot trainer as she spoke his stupid name, though judging by his lack of reaction to it, he didn't seem to be privy to the conversation. Or just wasn't paying attention. "… _Well, perhaps some things are best left unsaid. But don't worry, I can keep a secret._ "

…Secret? What…

"Skye, are you fucking fraternitying with the enemy?!" Assy suddenly screeched, tearing both my own concentration as well as Fifi's away from Skye's… Fraternitying.

Skye folded her arms and gave a disappointed sigh. " _…Fraternizing. You were_ _ **so**_ _close, master._ "

"I don't care what it's called, just don't be fuckin' doin' it!" Assy spat. Before Skye could respond, the professor let out a great and mighty throat clearing over the mic, loud enough that I'm sure my parents could hear it.

"Ah, yes, such a colorful character, Mr. Banstead…" the professor said loudly, before moving away from the mic to mutter in continuation, "A right bloody rainbow, you are…"

"A rainbow?" Assy repeated in disgust, letting the professor know he hadn't moved nearly far away enough from the mic. "Are you… Are you callin' me gay or something? Because let's get one thing straight here, the only dick _this_ dude likes is-"

"Mr. Banstead, listen closely, because I'm only going to say this once. _Stop_. _Talking_."

"What? You can't talk to me like-"

"FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, WOULD YOU JUST SHUT YOUR BLOODY GOB ALREADY SO WE CAN…" By the time the professor had managed to stop himself mid-shout, he had succeeded in quieting not only Assy, but the entire crowd as well. Once the vein in his forehead had stopped throbbing and his eyes had stopped bulging, he adjusted his tie and cleared his throat before continuing. "…Yes. Well. As I was getting ready to say, with both of our competitors' Pokémon chosen and at the ready, it is now time for them to get into position so that we may finally begin our final bout of this tournament, and see who will go on to have the opportunity and privilege to face Ms. Treeblood in our grand finale this evening."

"Finally." Assy muttered, glaring snidely at me before preparing to make his way to the other side of the battlefield. "Better get mommy's number ready so she can console you while you're crying all the way home after I humiliate you, Tardacre."

"I'd tell you to do the same, Assy, but I'm sure your mother blocked your number years ago."

"Bite me, Tardo!"

"Hard pass, there's not enough toothpaste in the world that could decontaminate my teeth after doing that."

"Yeah, you're right, you'll have already used up all the toothpaste in the world once you're done eating my shit after I kick your ass!"

I shook my head, not interested in wasting much more of my breath keeping this highly enlightening conversation going. "…That's just weird, dude. Why's everything always got to be about butts or poop with you?"

" _That's a good question, master._ " Skye added with a horrifyingly lecherous grin, for some reason. " _Why DO you have to be so 'anal' about everything?_ "

Assy's face immediately began to go as red as his stupid, sweat-stained shirt. "Shut… Shut the hell up, both of you! This is _exactly_ why I don't let you out anymore, Skye, you're supposed to be on _my_ side, God damn it!"

Skye let out an underwhelmed sigh before folding her arms. " _Oh, please, you know I would never take anyone else's side, master. I just have to do what I can to help you learn to lighten up and stop taking everything so dreadfully seriously. Besides, if you're going to embarrass me with everything you say or do, then I don't see why I shouldn't do the same thing to you. Remember, a healthy relationship is a two-way street, Rumpy~._ "

"Yeah, and what the hell would YOU know about healthy relationships?" Assy spat back. "You're the reason I-"

"Mr. Banstead, remember that whole 'stop talking' thing I said to do earlier?" the professor cut in, likely realizing we would be here all night if he didn't intervene. "Yeah, I'm going to have to ask you to continue doing that, thanks. And that goes for you as well, Mr. Hardacre, the last thing Mr. Banstead needs is any further encouragement. I realize this is asking a lot of you two, but I would like for us to finish this tournament sometime tonight, if at all possible."

"…Fine, whatever." Assy replied, using his inside voice, something I wasn't aware he even had. "Come on, Skye. Time to put that obnoxious prick and his weak-ass wittle waifu in their place!"

" _Actually_ , Mr. Banstead…" the professor said suddenly, holding his arm out to block Assy as he went to cross over to the other side of the battlefield. "As I was preparing to say before you went off on another tangent, whilst I was waiting for Mr. Hardacre to return from his… Excursion, I had time to discuss a few things with Ms. Treeblood while helping her prepare for her battle, and she proposed something very interesting to me. In fact, I do believe I'll let her be the one to announce it, as it was her brilliant idea in the first place. Ms. Treeblood, if you'd be so kind."

Handing his mic over to Purple, the professor stepped aside so she could take center stage, the crowd whipping up into another frenzy as she became the sole focus of everyone's attention. A full minute of name chanting and declarations of love later, she finally decided to grace us with her perfectly obnoxious, obnoxiously perfect voice.

"Thank you, everyone, you are just too kind." she began, in the same incredibly fake yet delightfully melodious tone as before. "Now, it was just on a bit of a whim that I thought of this, so obviously, it's nothing that absolutely HAS to be done. Still, I think it would be a fun and interesting change of pace from the norm, and it'd make for much more of a challenge for myself, personally. What I had suggested to the professor was merely, why should our winners fight one another just to face little old me? They're obviously a very skilled team to have been able to make it this far, so why pit them against one another, when they can both take their rightful place as tournament champions and face me together in a double battle? After all, is not the point of this tournament to celebrate the power of teamwork, and getting along with one another to achieve a common goal? I feel it'd be a shame to abandon that now, and would be only too happy to take them both on at once. Of course, this is just a silly suggestion, I don't make the rules, after all!"

"Yes, thank you, Ms. Treeblood." the professor said, taking the mic back from Purple. "However, while what you say may be merely a suggestion, it is, if I do say so myself, an absolutely brilliant one. You are all too correct in saying that the entire point of this tournament is very much abandoned at this point, something that I have never been too keen on myself. So, taking this in mind, in addition to the numerous delays that have already prolonged this event to run far, _far_ longer than it should have, I will be using my authority as headmaster of this fine school to whole-heartedly accept your suggestion, and seeing as how there are no objections-"

" **I OBJECT!** " I shouted, in disgusting unintentional anti-harmony with Assy. The professor completely ignored us, continuing on without missing a fucking beat.

"-SEEING AS HOW THERE ARE NO OBJECTIONS, I say we get our grand finale underway without further ado! Mr. Hardacre and Mr. Banstead versus Ms. Treeblood, two Pokémon to a team, with the first team to defeat both opposing Pokémon declared the winner!"

"Wait, no, that's garbage!" Assy cried. "I don't want to share my glory with this idiot! I want to kick his ass!"

"Well, I hate to be the one who has to break it to you, but as it turns out, you can't always get what you want, Mr. Banstead." the professor responded, sounding all too pleased with himself. "Besides, I think the two of you could use a bit more bonding time, anyhow."

"I'd… Rather bond with a rabid Tyranitar, actually." I said, absolutely loathe to the idea of having to team up with Assy anymore. Not that the professor gave a shit about that.

"Oh, nonsense, Mr. Hardacre." he said, waving my completely valid and right misgivings off. "All you two need is a little more time to get to know each other, and working alongside one another is the perfect opportunity to do that!"

"Oh yeah, because that's worked out so well this far." I said, desperately fighting the urge to roll my eyes. "You don't… Actually believe that, do you sir?"

The professor continued to just smile on through. "I would prefer not to say, Mr. Hardacre. But, anyway! It is time to begin! Gentlemen, Ms. Treeblood, if you would take your positions!"

Despite continued heavy groans of protest from myself and Assy, it was clear that neither of us would have any say in this. Ugh… While the two of us were busy taking turns between grumbling in disdain and muttering curses at each other, Purple had made her way over to us, stopping close enough for me to get a nice, gag-inducing taste of her sickeningly sweet perfume, before giving each of us a dainty little 'charmed' bow. "Before we start, I just wanted to say, congratulations to both of you for making it this far, and best of luck! I'm sure you guys will put up a great fight!"

"Yeah, shut up." Assy muttered, as he stomped his way over to his spot adjacent to me on the field, Skye giggling at his misfortune behind him. "Don't friggin' believe this garbage…"

Purple's mystified gaze followed him for a bit, before she shook her head and turned her attention solely to me, the too-pleasant smile returning to her face as she awaited my response.

"Uh, yeah, th-thanks, you too…" I said awkwardly, my eyes having begun to water from the sheer strength of her perfume, which on the plus side at least kept me from blinding myself by making direct eye contact with her. Which was just as well, since her words had rung hollow, so I wasn't particularly concerned with sounding very sincere either. Nevertheless, it seemed to be enough for her, as she giggled and gave a nod, turning in a shimmering flourish of multicolored hair and dress. As she sauntered her way over to her side of the field, she stopped abruptly before she was out of earshot, looking back at Fifi for a moment before smiling at me.

"Your Braixen is just _too cute_ , by the way. Can't wait to see what she can do!"

Yeeeeah… Not quite sure how to respond to that, so I merely nodded and faked a smile in return. Fi, meanwhile knew exactly how to respond, as she shot me an annoyed glance and scoffed heavily.

"Oh yeah, that wasn't patronizing _at all_."

"Well, I mean, you _are_ cute, Fi." I said with a shrug, cracking a smile at how irritated that word made her, as it usually did.

"No, it's… Different coming from you, Stone." she said, turning back around in a cute little huff. "You're not talking down to me when you say it, you actually mean it as a compliment. Everyone else, though… _Bleah_. I'll show her cute…"

"Or they could actually just think you're cute…" I muttered, though Fi didn't seem to be paying attention anymore. Oh well. I knew that wasn't a battle I'd be winning anytime soon, just like I knew far better than to point out to her that, intentional or not, nearly everything she did was cute…

Regardless, with everyone having reached their positions, the professor took center stage to speak one more time. "And now, Ms. Treeblood, if you would please send out your Pokémon, so that we may get this sure to be magnificent battle underway!"

"Of course." Purple replied with a giggle, reaching down to take two gaudy, solid red Pokéballs from her belt. Motioning over towards me and Assy, she cocked her head and smiled. "Seeing as how I'm last year's school champion, I think it's only fair to give you two a bit of an edge, so that our battle can be as fiercely contested as possible, and also so I can have a better challenge for myself. So let's see how far you guys can push me with a type advantage! Lancel, Arthus, I choose you!"

Purple's Pokéballs opened in an almost seizure-inducing flash of rainbow colors, somehow managing to be even gaudier than Skye's was. Once the light had subsided, Purple's choice of Pokémon were revealed to be a Latios and a Lucario.

"Lancel, your target is the Gardevoir." Purple instructed to the Latios, who nodded dutifully before focusing a steely, all-business gaze upon Skye.

" _Ooh, I've never had the chance to face a legendary before._ " Skye mused, looking no more concerned than she did in the last battle, her pose more nonchalant than anything. " _Though of course, I can't say the same for my dear master. But don't worry, Rumpy, I'll be sure to put up a much better showing than your little pet did._ "

Assy's only response was an irritated grunt that may have actually just been a fart. It was hard to tell with him.

"And that leaves the Braixen to you, Arthus." Purple continued, directing her Lucario's gaze over to Fifi. He gave Purple this incredibly dorky little kneeling bow that was even more exaggerated than the one she had given to me and Assy, then turned to Fifi and did the same to her. Fi looked on in confusion for a moment, before the Lucario began speaking to her, still kneeling like a twit. Even without being able to understand a damn thing he said, I could tell it was something obnoxiously pretentious, and Fifi's heavy, derisive scoff when he was finished and stood up only confirmed that.

"Oh, brother… _Such_ a gentleman." Fi muttered, her words heavy with sarcasm as she turned to me to roll her eyes in disdain. "And I thought the last Lucario I fought was full of himself…"

"You know, I was under the impression that Lucarios were supposed to be pretty rare…" I said, Fifi's words making me think. "But apparently not, since every other person here seems to have one."

"Well, this _is_ the top school in the region." Fifi said with a small shrug. "You really think richie-poos like Axhole or Sparkles over there would be caught dead with something like a Bidoof?"

"Probably not…" I replied. "But… Those names, though… They're top notch! I'm real proud of you, Fi."

Fifi gave me a quick, knowing smirk before returning her attention to the battlefield. "Well, let's just say I've learned from the best…"

"Fartraker! Stop fucking around with your stupid girlfriend and get your worthless ass to focus!" came Assy's always lovely screeching, preventing me from doing the very thing he was yelling at me to do. "Don't you _dare_ fuck this up! Swear to God, Turdo, you fuck me over, I'm sure as hell going to fuck you… Up."

"…Thank you for amending that." I said, exhaling. "Your threat was actually properly horrifying for a moment there."

"I will _end you_ , Shartmaker."

"But Assy, you don't have enough brain cells left to figure out how to do that, you've just used the last of them thinking of words that vaguely rhyme with my name and might feel hurtful if we were in third grade."

"Stone, come on…" Fifi muttered, shooting me a quick look of disapproval.

" _Yeah, for heaven's sake, master._ " Skye added, echoing Fifi's sentiment to her own trainer. " _Could you and your new bestie stop acting like adult babies at least long enough for us to have this battle? You can both go back to embarrassing yourselves and your poor innocent Pokémon as soon as it's over, promise._ "

I cringed a bit and exhaled, Skye's words biting far harder than Assy's could ever hope to. They seemed to sting Assy even more, though, as he appeared to angrily shrink into himself at being called a manbaby. His gaze finally broken away from me and focused in front of himself, I wasted no time in doing the same. The professor's eyes shot skyward for a brief moment once he saw this, mouthing a silent but all too noticeable "Thank you, lord." before taking the mic one last time.

"Finally done strategizing, are we, gentlemen?" he said flatly, not even attempting to hide the disdain behind his sarcasm any more. "And I take it you and your Pokémon are still ready as well, Ms. Treeblood?"

"We're always ready, professor." she responded, tipping a non-existent cap at him. Good fucking _God_ …

"Terrific, in that case…" he began, rushing off the stage so fast he almost tumbled over the side. "Quickly, before any further arguments or distractions occur! Let's have a good clean fight and all that guff, but more importantly, let's just finally get this thing over with! Let the grand finale COMMENCE!"

"This is it, master!" Fifi exclaimed, doing her best to hide her nervousness behind sheer bravado as she pulled out her stick. "Let's redefine this bitch's meaning of cute."

"Y-Yeah…" I muttered back, hardly able to hear Fifi's words as the crowd immediately began to break out into another massive 'Ariala' chant, something that Purple seemed to be eating up. We were… Definitely not the home team here…

" _Keep your minds clear, all three of you!_ " Skye said, sharply and suddenly, her voice ringing clearly in my head as the crowd noise seemed to turn into a sort of dull static around it. But it returned to full, deafening volume just as quickly as her voice left.

"So, what are your first moves going to be, guys?" Purple called out loudly from across the battlefield, neither of her Pokémon seemingly inclined to make the first strike, both of them standing pat and waiting with a disturbing calmness that was unbefitting of someone about to throw down. I could feel my mouth beginning to go dry already, and I hadn't even given any commands yet. This is…

"…Stone?"

I could still barely hear Fifi's voice over the absolute frenzy the crowd had whipped itself into waiting for someone to make the first move. I was going to have to strain my voice just to be heard, but if I did that, then Purple would probably be able to hear everything, too. Augh… What a pain…

" _As I said, keep your mind clear._ " came Skye's unexpected voice again, just as suddenly as ever, the crowd noise numbing around us, and this time staying muted. " _Keeping a line open between multiple people like this is actually fairly taxing, so I can't keep this up for very long at a time, but I'll do what I can. Our opponent seems reticent to strike first regardless, so speak quickly if you have something to say, Hardacre, before she changes her mind._ "

I glanced over to Skye and began to nod, before realizing she hadn't actually taken her eyes off of her opponent. Urgh, communicating like this is so annoying… " _Er… Right, I'm assuming you can hear me, Fi, and you too, dipshit. I'll keep this brief, this is… This shit's exactly what she pulled in that video of last year's school championship match they showed us earlier. She invited her opponent to attack first, then she just… Beat the ever loving shit out of him. She just kept waiting for him to attack and kept countering him, she didn't initiate anything until he was already on his last legs and hopelessly frustrated. Poor fuck didn't land a single attack with any of his Pokémon._ "

" _Oh wow, so you CAN actually pay attention to something other than your stupid little girlfriend!_ " Assy mocked, his voice somehow even more gross sounding when being injected directly into my mind. " _No shit, Hardacre, why do you think we haven't attacked yet?_ "

I put my hand to my chin. " _Hmm, that's true, this is the first time you've waited for the match to actually begin before blowing your load, though I assumed that was more on the part of Skye keeping you in check than anything._ "

" _Shut up, I'm still the one in charge here, don't make me-_ "

" _Both of you shut the hell up before I pinch the part of your brains that remind you to breathe._ " Skye interjected. " _And no, you don't really want to find out if that's actually something I can do, Hardacre. The point stands, however, that initiating the first strike probably won't end well in our favor. We do, however, have one big, distinct advantage over Treeblood that her previous opponent did not._ "

" _Which is…?_ " Assy impatiently asked, as stupid as ever.

Skye appeared to audibly sigh before answering. " _Numbers, my dear master, numbers. Remember, she has to command two Pokémon in unison, whereas you and Hardacre have merely myself and Fifi to worry about individually. Meaning, of course, that while we can each focus on one opponent at a time, Treeblood is going to have to worry about contending with both of our onslaughts at the same time. She may be frighteningly skilled, but if we can shatter her concentration and keep it in shambles long enough, we should have more than a chance to beat her. Then we'll see how smug she is about giving us all of these 'advantages', the little cunt._ "

" _Heh, now you're speaking my language, Skye._ " said Assy, far too enthusiastically.

" _I can assure you, that was merely an unfortunate slip of the tongue._ " Skye replied in disdain. " _Regardless, we should figure out what we're going to do, and quickly. I can't keep this up for much longer._ "

" _How about we-_ " I began, immediately getting cut off by Assy.

" _Shut up, Hardacre, you ain't in charge here. HERE'S what we're going to do. Me and Skye are going to open up a great big can of whoop ass on that big dumb blue chicken over there, and while we're doing that, you and your girlfriend need to be your usual annoying and ineffective selves and keep the dog distracted to draw enough attention away from us so we can take care of business on our end. Then once we've fried that chicken's ass, we'll take care of the dog, assuming you're at least competent enough to keep up with it to that point._ "

" _Oh boy, just what I've always wanted to be, a distraction._ " Fifi muttered in annoyance.

" _Well, we could switch roles, if that is what you'd prefer._ " Skye responded, barely able to finish her sentence before Assy began to bellow once more.

" _Fuck that noise, Skye, I don't take a fuckin' backseat to NOBODY!_ "

I grumbled to myself, my brain beginning to itch more and more the louder and longer Assy yelled into it. " _Fine, Assy, have it your way. Fi, we're in pure survival mode this time. Hit quick, not hard, and just focus on not getting hit yourself as much as possible. Our infinitely more talented partners will obviously take care of the rest._ "

"… _Alright._ " Fi replied, sounding just as thrilled as I was to be thrust into the role of 'designated annoyance'. But whatever. I'm not going to argue anymore, I actually like being able to breathe.

" _Don't sound so sullen, you two._ " said Skye. " _Remember, the goal here isn't individual success, it's working together as a team to put an insufferable egotist in her place._ "

" _Right, and I'm sure your wonderful little 'master' there knows that too, right?_ " I said dryly.

" _I know you're a-_ "

" _Don't worry about him, just focus on your opponent and keeping his trainer occupied with what he's doing._ " Skye responded, letting out a small groan shortly after. " _Tch… I can't keep this up any more. Remember, be relentless, you two! Don't give her any time to think! And try to keep things mental rather than verbal, Fifi should be able to keep a line open between the two of you easily, with how close the two of you are. It shouldn't strain her at all, unlike what I'm having to deal with to keep you two part of this._ "

Fifi's heavy sigh was evident even without being able to hear it. "… _I'll do what I can._ "

" _Good, get it ready and then get moving, we'll start attacking the moment you do! Good luck!_ " Skye said, and the moment she had finished, I had to clamp my hands over my ears as the full brunt of the crowd's incredibly loud restlessness flooded back without warning. I could hear Fifi yelp as the same happened to her far more sensitive ears, but after a moment, the crowd died back down to a more manageable level, as a different, much more familiar and comfortable buzzing sensation began to permeate my mind.

"… _Stone? Can you hear me?_ " came Fifi's voice, not quite as clearly as Skye had been able to make everyone's sound, but still perfectly audible. I felt much more at ease, regardless, knowing it was just the two of us and I didn't have to guard any sensitive thoughts.

" _Yeah, you?_ " I responded.

" _Crystal clear._ "

" _Alright, well, I guess we shouldn't keep anyone waiting any longer._ " I said, sighing. " _This is going to be a fucking disaster… But oh well! Let's do this, Fi! Get all up in that grill and hit him with the high, stinky cheddar!_ "

" _Right!_ " Fi responded, preparing to rush forward before turning around abruptly to face me. " _…W-Wait, you mean with fireballs, right? Because I… I_ _ **refuse**_ _to let one rip in front of all these people… You know I'd do anything for you, master, but… I have to draw the line somewhere, sorry._ "

I let out a scoff. " _Geez, that was ONE TIME I asked you to do that, and that was only to catch Flint by surprise!_ "

" _He called me 'Little Miss Gassy Ass' for MONTHS, Stone!_ _ **MONTHS!**_ "

" _Heh, that's right, that was… A-Absolutely not funny in any way, shape, or form whatsoever. Obviously! B-But I wasn't asking you to do that this time anyways, Fi, so chill out…_ "

" _Sorry, master, it's just… Hard to tell with you sometimes._ " she said, giving me shifty eyes before turning back around. " _But yeah, I'm on it!_ "

With that, she broke forward, stick at the ready, as she rushed towards the Lucario, Skye taking off shortly after beside her towards the Latios.

"Ah, a two-pronged attack, eh? Guess I might have my work cut out for me this time!" Purple exclaimed, her voice sounding muddled and strangely distorted due to Fifi's noise-muffling mental link. "Lancel, Arthus, you guys know what to do!"

In an instant, the Lucario went from being completely motionless to dodging each and every one of Fifi's rapid-fire fireballs with ease. Skye seemed to fare no better, as the Latios avoided her pink-tinted energy blasts with much the same amount of non-effort. And, just as quickly and effortlessly, the Lucario stepped forward and reached out in between dodges, managing to grab ahold of Fifi's stick and catching her offguard. Without a moment's hesitation, he had yanked it towards him, pulling Fifi with it, catching her face with his other hand and blasting her point-blank with an aura spike, separating her from her stick and sending her crashing to the ground. The crowd's roar of approval gave me a weird, sickly feeling in my stomach as I grimaced at Fifi.

"Fuck!" I yelled, forgetting to use our mental link. " _You okay Fi?!_ "

"… _Nngh. Other than the fact that it feels like there are millions of spider crawling out of my face, just dandy…_ "

" _Oh, that sounds… Horrifying._ " I said, squirming slightly at Fifi's choice of words.

" _It's unpleasant._ " she said flatly, as she picked herself back up and rubbed her cheek. Her eyes quickly shot over to the Lucario, as did mine, but he had returned to his state of near motionlessness, and seemed content to stay that way until we tried something else, flashing Fifi a smug grin as if to dare her to try something else. As Fifi hastily scooped up her stick, her expression mirrored my own at the sight of it. " _Urk. I don't feel very good about our chances here, Stone…_ "

" _Me neither…_ " I said, looking over towards the other side of the battlefield and shaking my head as Skye whiffed wide with another attack. " _Those two are nuts if they think we actually have a shot of beating this bitch._ "

" _I know… But hey, if nothing else, let's go down fighting. Or attempting to, at least…_ "

" _Of course._ " I said, knowing better than to try and convince Fifi otherwise. " _Might as well go for broke, in that case. If that dumb piece of shit's just going to stand there, then he shouldn't mind waiting for you to fully charge a Return. And even if he does react before you're done, you should still be able to get a good shot off on him with it._ "

As I waited for Fifi to respond, I could see her falter a bit, and our mental link seemed to get particularly staticky for a moment before she hesitantly replied. " _U-Um… I'd… Rather not use that move right now… That's what set me off earlier, a-and given what's happened since then, I… Don't think I could handle it in the state I'm in… S-Sorry, master…_ "

Oh… R-Right… I guess she has to draw that move's power from somewhere, I just… Never realized it was-

" _STOP STANDING AROUND AND ATTACK, YOU IDIOTS! WHAT PART OF 'BE RELENTLESS' DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?!_ "

My brain fizzled in pain as Skye's voice angrily shot through my head, and Fifi's sudden cry of mental anguish fell perfectly in sync with my own as she struggled to keep our mental link from severing.

" _D-Damn it, I forgot, we're only distractions._ " I said, groaning. " _Fine, they want a distraction, we'll give them a damn distraction. Let's get obnoxious, Fi._ "

" _Uh, o-okay…_ " she replied, uneasily. " _Do you, uh, have any suggestions, master…? Preferably one that doesn't involve me getting my face smashed in again…?_ "

" _Do I ever!_ " I replied, giving her a grin she was probably happy she couldn't see. " _Bust out those melodious chords of yours, Fi, it's time for a duet._ "

" _A duet…? As in, singing? Stone, neither of us can… Oh._ " Fi said, realizing quickly that our horrendous lack of vocal skills was the point. "… _So, what are we butchering, then?_ "

" _Our song, Fi._ " I said, without hesitation. " _The most beautiful tune ever crooned, from the velvety, sensuous lips of Seel himself. These bitches won't know what hit 'em!_ "

Fifi let out a small whimper, before quickly and rapidly shaking her head. " _A-Ah…F-Fine, but you're leading…_ " she replied, sounding as thrilled as ever to show off her flawless and beautiful singing skills. By which I mean use Screech.

" _Fine by me._ " I said, clearing my throat, as if it would make any difference whatsoever. " _Just be ready to dodge some aura-flavored tomatoes, Fi!_ "

" _Great…_ "

As Fi took a step back so she was out of the Lucario's immediate melee range, she changed her stance, no longer standing at the ready to attack, instead she held her stick in front of her face as if it were a microphone, grasping onto it with both hands, ready to pour her heart and soul into her words. As was I.

"~BA DA DA, DA DA DA DA DA DA, DA DA DA…~"

"~BA DA DA, DA DA DA DA DA DAAAA…~"

"What the _fuck_? Tardacre, the fuck are you-"

Everyone's attention was drawn successfully and immediately towards Fifi and myself, as we launched into a masterful and tear-inducing rendition of the all-time classic Seel hit, a song that held a special place in both of our hearts. It was the song that was playing when we first saw each other in the hospital after both of us nearly died, playing on the TV in my room the moment I was first able to see her again and find out she was alright, and vice versa. It was the first song she ever learned how to sing, based solely on associating it with our first non-painful memory together, and according to her, the first actual song she had ever even heard in her life. She sang it as my entrance theme in Flint's wrestling fed, and I even named my horrible finisher after it, on her suggestion. Most importantly of all, we both can actually remember most of the words to it most of the time, which is more than either of us can say for 99% of songs that either of us like. So it was obvious to me that it was the only song we could possibly use in such a crucial situation. It's our favorite song. It's _our_ song. And it was about to be ruined forever for everyone else in the arena.

"Gah, Hardacre, you fucking…!"

Assy's words barely registered to me, Fifi's mental muting and my own discordant warbling drowning it and everything else out. He didn't seem too effected by it outside of his usual over-the-top lid-flipping, likely due to his and Skye's own mental link dampening our screeching down to mere growling, but Purple was a different story, as her hands clamped down upon her ears almost immediately as soon as we uttered the first " _ **BAYBEEEEEE!**_ ", clearly not having been prepared for such a sudden performance. Assy's attention soon drifted away from me back towards the battle once he realized what was going on (or more likely, once Skye yelled at him to), and he began to bark commands with his usual venom and vigor, thankfully still completely silenced to my ears. Looking back to the battle myself, I could see our audial attack was somehow, someway, working, as Skye managed to actually clip the Latios' wing with an attack, sending him skidding to the ground for the briefest of moments, though he was back to the air almost instantly, rushing forward with a blinding speed. Skye just barely seemed to manage to put up a shield before he made contact with her, though the impact he made against her shield was so forceful it sent out a shockwave of energy, hitting both Fifi and the Lucario, knocking both of them off balance and momentarily silencing Fifi. I could make Purple's voice out for just a moment as Fi's link weakened.

"A-Arthus, Extremespeed, before she starts screeching again!"

I didn't even have time to think before Fifi was skidding across the field, the Lucario having slammed into her in the literal blink of an eye with such force that she ended up smashing into the wall directly in front of me, causing me to flinch and fall flat on my ass. Fifi didn't even have time to get up before the Lucario was right back in her face, grabbing onto her and flinging her backwards into the air behind him.

"Silence her, Arthus!"

" _Shit, Fi, he's-_ "

I couldn't warn Fifi in time, not that she would have likely been able to even react in the first place, as the Lucario again instantly shot after her, stopping himself midair slightly ahead of her trajectory, charging a massive spear of aura energy between his hands, and smashing it directly into Fifi as she reached him, spiking her straight down into the floor with an earth-shattering thud. I had to look away before she landed, I couldn't… H-Hngh… With our mental link almost completely severed, the crowd's massive roar of approval flooded into my ears, causing my stomach to drop even further as I waited for the dust to settle around where Fi had landed.

" _F-Fi, are you… Can you still…_ "

"… _That… F-Fucking sucked…_ "

Augh… Fi…

"… _Fi, just… Stay down. You don't need to push yourself any further for this stupid, meaningless battle against something that's probably level fucking one hundred. There's no point…_ "

Despite my words, I could see that Fifi was continuing to struggle to get herself to move. Damn it, Fi…

"… _Nngh… N-No, I… I can still fight… I can't just… G-Give up…_ "

God damn it, Fi! Stop being so stubborn, there's literally no point in-

"Oh, despite a valiant effort, it appears as if Mr. Hardacre's Braixen has no energy left to battle!"

The professor's words rang out over the microphone, causing another raucous round of cheers from the crowd.

" _N-No! Stone, t-tell them I can still-_ "

"I have to say, that was… Very unique, Stone, if a bit… Less than honorable." Purple began, drowning out Fifi's voice, so weak had our link gotten. She didn't even seem concerned with what her Latios was doing, as he continued to effortlessly avoid any and all of Skye's moves on his own. So much for that whole distraction plan… "I've certainly never seen someone attempt such an… Unorthodox method of battling before. You and your Braixen almost managed to open us up for an attack, but your execution was just a bit too sloppy. You did your best, though, so you should have no regrets!"

" _S-Stone, t-tell her to shut up! I-I can still-_ "

"… _Stay down, Fi._ "

" _B-But Master…! I-_ "

" _Just listen to me, Fi!_ "

"… _Ugh… D-Damn it, Stone… We still have a chance…_ "

"… _I know. So stay down, and wait for my cue._ "

"… _Your… Cue…?_ "

" _Shush. Act defeated._ "

"…Damn. Guess you're right." I said, letting my shoulders slump as Fifi dutifully obliged and collapsed to the ground entirely, letting out an exaggerated cry of defeat.

"You piece of shit, Hardacre! You're less than worthless! You're a fucking-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know, Assy, save your breath." I said, cutting him off and hanging my head, doing my best to look and sound as crushed as possible.

"Hey, you don't have anything to be ashamed of." Purple said, with a chuckle so revoltingly condescending it made my skin crawl. "You and your Braixen fought to the best of your abilities, and I mean, you got to this point with a Pokémon that isn't even fully evolved! I'm impressed that you even made it this far! You should both feel proud about that, and I congratulate you on it! Arthus, why don't you go and give his Braixen some kudos yourself? She hung in there far longer than most of your opponents do!"

 _Bingo_ , bitch. Another obnoxious, self-aggrandizing move from last year's championship battle. Only this time…

"…Thanks." I said meekly, watching as Arthus sauntered his way over towards Fifi, acting as if the battle was already over and not at all concerning himself with the fight that was still going on behind him between his partner and Skye. As he drew near her, I focused entirely on keeping our link from fading.

"… _Alright, Fi… We're the heels here… We're not supposed to win… But that doesn't mean we have to be gracious about it._ "

"… _Ah._ "

" _Remember, Fi, if you ain't cheatin'…_ "

Arthus stopped directly in front of Fi. As she struggled to push herself up to her knees, he let out a smug little chuckle that was disturbingly similar to his trainer's, then extended a hand towards her.

"Oh my, and would you look at this, folks! Not only is Ms. Treeblood the very picture of perfect sportsmanship, but so are her Pokémon! I tell you, ladies and gents, have you ever seen anything like it?"

I did my best to ignore the professor as he continued to verbally orgasm over Purple's fake display of niceness, continuing to focus on Fifi as she shakily reached up to grasp Arthus' hand. He wasn't even bothering to look in her direction anymore, as he was too busy waving to the crowd and feeding off of their gratification like a vampire feasting on a village of hemophiliacs. As Fi made it to one knee, my eyes flashed. We'll show you 'less than honorable', you fucking fakeass floozy.

"… _Now, Fi!_ "

With what had to be her last reserve of energy, Fi reared her free arm back, then swung it forward with all of her force, sending an uppercut directly into Arthus' junk. As Arthus lurched forward in shock and pain, the crowd let out a massive, united gasp, and the professor's prattling died instantaneously. This was our shot!

"SEE HOW _HE_ LIKES SPIDERS CRAWLING OUT OF HIS FACE, FI!" I shouted, my adrenaline pumping too much to keep it mental anymore. With no hesitation, Fi pushed herself back from Arthus, just enough to give her room to shove her stick in his face, her whole body flashing with light for a moment before a massive burst of flames exploded out of the end of her stick, sending her and Arthus flying in opposite directions as if she had just blasted him with the world's most powerful shotgun with the world's most powerful kickback. Fi came to a rest in front of me in a crumpled heap, but Arthus was far worse off. Purple stood in stunned silence, and the crowd began to boo heavily once they realized what had just happened.

"THERE'S YOUR GOD DAMNED DISTRACTION, ASSY!" I yelled, nearly throwing my voice out to make sure I was heard over the torrential downpour of boos. "NOW FUCK SPORTSMANSHIP, FINISH THAT FUCKING LUCARIO OFF!"

"F-FUCK YOU HARDACRE, YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, I WAS ALREADY PLANNING ON IT!" he screamed back, wasting precious time because holy shit YOU ARE A FUCKING IMBECILE ASSY! "SKYE, FULL PSYCHIC ONSLAUGHT, NOW!"

Skye turned on a dime, having already begun to start her volley of psychic blasts before Assy had finished speaking. Lancel seemed to be in the same state of shock as his trainer, as he made no attempt to stop her from doing so, and in an instant, Arthus had been engulfed within a dark purple void, which quickly exploded with energy, sending Arthus flying up and back down with a heavy thud, a groan of defeat escaping from his lips as he rolled over and collapsed immediately upon impact with the ground. With this, the crowd's booing stopped. In fact, the entire arena had fallen completely, deathly silent. For a moment, I thought it was just Fi's mental link again, but… No. It was just… Silent.

"YEEEEEEEEEAH! I JUST FUCKING KNOCKED OUT ONE OF ARIALA FUCKIN' TREEBLOOD'S POKÉMON!"

But not for long, of course.

"Y'ALL SEE THAT SHIT?! THAT'S WHY I'M THE FUCKING-"

" **LUSTER PURGE.** _ **NOW!**_ "

Assy was… Somehow outshouted, as Purple let out an absolutely piercing shriek of rage that was so loud and so sudden it made my heart jump. Seconds later, Lancel let loose a great, bright ball of pure light that quickly grew large enough to completely engulf the entire battlefield, blinding me and probably everyone else in the process. A loud and shining blast sounded soon after, but before I even had a chance to open my eyes to see the damage, Purple was screaming with a purpose again.

" **DRACO METEOR!** "

I opened my eyes just in time to see Lancel launch more shit out of his gaping maw, this time pointing it skyward as multiple blue blasts of energy shot out of it, the shots reaching as high as the arena ceiling would allow before growing ridiculously in size and falling to the ground, each and every one of them aiming for and crashing squarely into Skye, who, judging by her collapsed state, seemed to have taken the brunt of Lancel's previous attack as well. As the energy meteors fell one after the other into Skye, Assy let out a cry, screaming out for Skye with a disturbing lack of anger and even more disturbing presence of what sounded like actual, genuine concern and fear. My own concern was entirely on Fifi, who continued to lay prone in the same spot she had been in since her last ditch attack, and I prayed she had the common sense to stay down this time. We were… Not going to win this. Before the last meteor had even landed and eviscerated Skye's already ten times over defeated body, Purple once again bellowed loudly, though this time, her words sounded almost as if they had a disturbing hint of glee behind them.

"FINISH THEM, LANCEL! _**GIGA IMPACY!**_ "

Oh, fuck. My eyes shot immediately back over to Fifi, and I instinctively reached out to grab her and pull her out of harm's way, only to smash my hands painfully against the stupid invisible safety barrier. I watched helplessly as Lancel shot forward like a missile, peeling Skye off the ground and then rushing forward to scoop up Fifi in his other arm. As he turned around, I could almost swear he grinned at me… Right before he launched himself up into the sky like a rocket, Fifi and Skye's helpless, defeated forms in his grasp, and plowed both of them down into the ground with a sickening force, continuing to drag them along the ground until they slammed head on into the safety barrier in front of Purple. Oh… Oh God… Fi…

"…O-Oh my… What an… _**ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE SHOW OF FORTITUDE FROM OUR REIGNING CHAMPION TO PULL OFF AN AMAZING VICTORY!**_ "

The professor… God, fuck the professor! Fuck this crowd! These fucking psychopaths, cheering for this… This… Fuck!

"Ladies and gentlemen, a great, big round of applause for our victor tonight, ARIALA TREEBLOOD!"

Shut up… Shut up! Take this fucking barrier down before I-

 _F-FUCK!_

"M-Mr. Hardacre!"

…Ow… That… Hurt… But I don't care… Fi… I need to…

"Mr. Hardacre, h-hold on a moment!"

No, fuck waiting… Fi… Please…

"Mr. Hardacre, please, you must-"

"Fifi…! Oh, God, I'm sorry, Fi, I shouldn't have… You should've just…"

"Mr. Hardacre, you must calm down! Your Braixen will be perfectly alright, you mustn't get so worked up as to injure yourself!"

"Shut up! This is… She was already knocked out! There wasn't any fucking reason to…!"

"Calm _down_ , Mr. Hardacre! Here! Give this to her, and then please, allow someone to tend to your face before your bleed on anything else!"

Bleeding…? I'm…? N-No, it doesn't matter… Fi, here… You…

"… _Yick_ … Why do revives have to taste so… Blech…"

"F-Fi, you… Ah, Fi…!"

"W-Wah, Stone! What are you… W-Wait, are you bleeding?!"

"That… I-It doesn't matter, I'm just… Y-You're okay… That's all I care about right now…"

"Of course I'm okay, didn't we already go over this earlier…? You don't have to get so… W-Worked up… U-Um… Master…? You… Y-You know everyone can see us, right…? You probably shouldn't be… H-Holding me like this…"

"…I don't care. Fuck everyone. They all just cheered you getting fucking… Hngh… No. They don't fucking care… But… I do. I love you, Fi… I'm supposed to keep you safe… Not… Nngh…"

"… _M-Master…"_

* * *

Apologies for any grammar mistakes or whatever, I don't feel like proof-reading this anymore. Like I said, I'll do my best to have the next part up sooner rather than later, but I can't promise anything. Hate me if you wish. Either way, have a good night.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Right. Here is the chapter that I am sure most of you still reading this have been waiting for with bated breath. Well, the AO3 version is, at least. I would actually highly, highly recommend reading this chapter over there, as over half the chapter is smut, which means half of the chapter is literally missing here. But yeah, I'll shut up now. Enjoy.

* * *

"…There we are, Mr. Hardacre, all done. And you didn't even cry or curse once! I would offer you a lolly for your bravery, but I'm afraid all I have on me is a half-finished bag of absolutely nauseating strawberry-banana flavoured potato chips. Which, coincidentally, you are more than welcome to have, if you'd like."

I grumbled and shook my head at the professor, not at all in the mood to deal with his apparent attempts at humor. Even though I was able to break my fall onto the stage, I had still managed to smash my face hard enough to bloody my nose and lip pretty good. It hadn't even registered to me how much I was bleeding until I had made it back to the locker room with Fifi and was finally able to calm down enough to let go of her. I didn't have much time to talk to her about anything before Professor Redwood joined us, explaining that they didn't really have any nurses on hand for non-Pokémon injuries, seeing as trainers generally don't end up being the ones hurt at the end of a battle, and so he would be the one to 'dress my wounds'. Thankfully, the only thing I had seriously damaged was my pride, and that wasn't really something I held in very high regard in the first place.

"Fair enough." the professor replied as he disposed of his gloves and the now bloody towel he had used to clean my face up with. "If I may just make a suggestion, I would highly recommend _not_ banging on and pressing yourself up against the safety barrier while it's in the process of turning off in the future. Not exactly a smart look, that. Though, I must say, that _was_ a particularly spectacular pratfall, all things considered."

I stared back at the professor, unsure of just how to respond, before finally shaking my head again and sighing. "…Yeah. Noted, sir."

"Oh, come now, Mr. Hardacre. No need to be so down, you're perfectly alright, and so is your Braixen." the professor said, his tone as flippant as ever. "You have nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about, it's clear that you're very concerned over her well-being, and that's something to be admired. Not all trainers show such a level of care for their Pokémon, so you should take it as a matter of pride to have as tight of a bond as the two of you clearly share. But you must realize, if you truly do plan on becoming a trainer with her at your side, that she can't always avoid defeat. I will admit, Ms. Treeblood _may_ have went just a teensy bit overboard with her final attack, but even so, Fifi came out unscathed in the end, as she always will in a sanctioned battle."

Fifi gave me a little 'I told you so' nudge, but that only made me want to grumble more.

"Yeah, but… That was still some petty bullcrap. Fifi was already unconscious, she could've been seriously hurt getting smashed around like that in that state…"

The professor clearly didn't share my concerns, as he just shook his head and chuckled. "Lad, you need to realize, Pokémon are remarkably durable creatures, far more so than we humans are, and they have been battling for generations now. The instinct to cause fatal harm with their attacks has been bred out long, long ago, and what hasn't been bred out is inhibited and enforced by Pokéball registration technology. Tamed Pokémon simply are not capable of fatally wounding another living creature, unless their own life or someone else's is in immediate danger, or their trainer specifically instructs them to do so. So unless you plan on crossing paths with some sort of ruthless criminal gang in your future, you should be able to rest easy in the knowledge that Fifi is perfectly safe when she battles, even if she may appear to get brutalized. And any superficial wounds are easily and instantly cured by today's incredible Pokémon healthcare technology. So, again, try not to worry so much, Mr. Hardacre."

"I've told him that at least three times today already, he's just a chronic worrywart." Fifi said with a sigh once the professor was finished, giving me one of her little smirks.

" _Criminey_ , I forgot you could talk…" the professor muttered in response, having taken a step back in startlement as Fifi spoke. "My, but you are… Remarkably human. Though, hmm… I suppose having such a level of communication with her _could_ cause a bit of a wrinkle in being able to deal with her fainting in battle and the like. It's pretty obvious you don't view Fifi the way most people view their Pokémon. Nor, I reckon, does she view you as most Pokémon view their trainers."

My eyes met Fifi's, and my voice instantly caught in my throat. I quickly turned my attention back to the professor and shook my head, Fifi following suit. "…No. We don't."

The professor's eyes seemed to light up, and he clapped his hands together in excitement. Though, his face quickly faltered once he began to speak. "My God, what I wouldn't give to be able to pick your brains on your relationship with one another, I can only imagine how radically different life must be like when you can communicate with your Pokémon as if they were just another person. But alas, now is neither the time nor the place, blast it all. Though, I simply _must_ implore you again to allow me to conduct an interview with the two of you at some point. The chance to study a talking Pokémon is extraordinarily rare, one that is bonded with a trainer even more so. Fifi may very well be the key to understanding and cracking some of the greatest mysteries of Pokémon and what makes them tick!"

The slightly manic look on the professor's face gave me pause, though Fifi was quick to respond, surprisingly enough.

"…As long as Stone is with me."

"But of course, my dear girl!" the professor replied, nodding jovially. "I wouldn't have it any other way! Oh, yes, I can see the headlines now… Let's see who those bloody fools call daft after _this_ … And yes, I do realize you two can still hear me, pay me no mind. I'm not _actually_ daft, you see, that'd be preposterous. And soon, everyone else will see that as well, ohoho, yes, indeed…"

It was particularly hard to pay the professor no mind as he rubbed his hands together and leered in such an amazingly creepy way, but I did my best regardless. Luckily, a thought popped into my mind to distract me from it, and hopefully him as well. "…Yeeeeah… Hey, uh, real quick though, is there any way I can use this as leverage to get you to allow Fifi to attend my classes with me? She uh, doesn't want to be left out, and I'd hate to have to leave her alone for so long."

The professor thankfully stopped his sinister chortling, looking from me to Fifi curiously for a moment, before giving me a shrug and a nod. "Certainly. Can't see what it'd harm, and it would be insulting of me to presume she's anything but as well-behaved as an actual student would be, probably more so than most, distressingly enough."

"R-Really?" Fifi exclaimed, clasping her hands together and letting out a small gasp as the professor nodded again in confirmation. "Oh, thank you, sir! I… I'm ready to learn! I'll do whatever you need me to do! I-I mean, as long as I get to sit next to Stone… Um, d-do I need to wear a uniform or anything? Because I will! So long as you can, um, find one in my size…"

…Shit… I… Didn't need that mental image right now…

"Er, no, that… Shouldn't be necessary, Ms… Er… Hardacre…?" the professor awkwardly replied, making things even worse.

"A-Ah, I…" Fifi stuttered, her eyes going wide at being addressed by… That title… "I'm… I'm…"

"Right, my apologies, I am… Not accustomed to addressing Pokémon in a proper manner, I'm afraid." the professor responded, thankfully oblivious to Fifi's reason for her reaction. "Regardless, I would say you should be fine sharing Mr. Hardacre's desk with him, so long as you don't mind standing up or, well, sharing a seat, I suppose. I can't exactly consider you as an actual student, I'm afraid, though I must commend you on your enthusiasm, I wish more of our actual students felt so excited about learning… But yes, you are more than welcome to attend Mr. Hardacre's classes with him if you so wish. I'll go ahead and let the rest of the faculty know, so hopefully they won't cause either of you any difficulties."

"Oh, thank you, thank you, _THANK YOU_ , sir!" Fifi said, hopping up and down in glee before rushing over to my side and glomping me, her excitement apparently overriding the rest of her senses. "And thank _you_ , master! You're the best! The very best~!"

"Ah, j-jeez, Fi…" I said, not really in the mood to push her away. "You uh… _Really_ shouldn't get too excited…"

"…Ah. R-Right…" Fi responded, separating herself from me quickly as she caught my drift.

The professor, thankfully, remained oblivious as he gave Fifi a warm, 'isn't-that-cute' smile. "Yes, well, it's plain to see that the two of you are both right as rain, so I shall be taking my leave. I would like to extend to you one more belated congratulations on your showing in tonight's tournament, you and Mr. Banstead performed remarkably when it really mattered, and I dare say the two of you are on the fast track to becoming friends!"

I snorted so hard I'm sure my brain almost shot out of my nose. "Ha, oh man, not a chance, professor. That guy is a f… He is… A very unpleasant individual. If I never smelled him again, it would still be too soon."

"…Hmm. I see. Well, that is… Quite unfortunate, then." the professor said, letting out an awkward cough. "Right, well, you should probably make haste back to your room, Mr. Hardacre. I'm sure you and Fifi could both use some rest after all you've gone through today."

Pfft. Yeah, you don't know the half of it, professor… But… I don't think I'm going to be getting any kind of rest tonight…

* * *

"OHMYGOSH, STONE! EEEEEEEEEEEE, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!"

My plans of being able to speak with Fifi before we got back to our room were foiled again, as the moment I stepped foot outside of the locker room into the hallway, I was nearly bulldozed through the wall by Clary.

"Ooh, s-sorry…" she said, mercifully stepping back before the me-shaped dent she was putting in the wall got any bigger.

"No biggie, just another bruise to add to my ever-growing collection of them…" I replied, wincing slightly as my body very clearly told me it absolutely was a biggie, and how dare I claim otherwise. Obviously, humor was not one of its five senses…

"Oh my GOSH, though, Stone!" Clary began, quick to return to her default state of near-comical overexcitement. "You actually did it! You guys managed to knock out one of Little Miss Perfect's Pokémon! Oh yeah, and you technically won the tournament, too! But more importantly, did you see the look on Ariala's face when her Lucario went down? Ahahahahaha, I'm going to be savoring that image the whole school year!"

I let out a small shudder as the image of Purple's utterly horrifying look of sheer rage flashed through my mind. Yeah… Forget savoring _that_ , I'll be lucky if it doesn't haunt my nightmares for the next week…

"Aw, come on, Stone!" Clary exclaimed, putting her hands on her hips and giving me that awful nagging expression of hers that she had nailed down to an art. Definitely didn't miss _that_ … "Can't you show a _little_ bit of enthusiasm, at least? You do realize that NOBODY has ever managed to defeat even a single one of her Pokémon before, right? At least, not on record. But guess what IS on record now? That's right, a big, fat KO against her name, a mark of imperfection on her no-longer flawless record! With _your_ name written next to it! And she can't deny it, either, because countless people, including yours truly, caught it on video! Oh yeah, I can't _wait_ to get this baby uploaded to the internet!"

…Ffffffffuck. That means… Millions of people can watch me pratfall like a jackass over and over and over again, and hear me butchering the most beautiful song in the world beyond all recognition, and… Bleeding and crying all over Fifi like a fucking… Fuck. Flint is never going to let me live that down… And, oh God, if my parents see that… Hngh… I would say fuck again, but I've said that word so many times today already that it's beginning to not sound like a word anymore…

"…Uh, Stone? _Hellooooooo_? You still in there?"

"Fuck!" I exclaimed, snapping back to reality at Clary's prodding. "Uh, I-I mean… Wait, no, fuck was what I meant to say."

"Oh, _now_ what, Stone?" Clary responded, rolling her eyes heavily at me. "Don't tell me you're upset because you lost or something like that? Because _nobody_ was expecting you guys to win, but just the fact that you managed to score a knock out should count as like, a hundred wins against anyone else."

"No, I don't care about that." I said, shaking Clary's claim off. "I'm more upset over the fact that now people can watch me make a complete idiot of myself as many times as they want to their hearts' content. Did you not see me fall flat on my face? Did you… Did you not hear me screaming what was at one time a song like an absolute lunatic, all for the sake of being a Goddamn distraction? Plus, I somehow doubt Fifi and me are going to get credited for that in the first place, since it was technically Assy's Gardevoir that delivered the finishing blow."

"Geez, Stone, how can you stand to be so negative all the time?" Clary said, seemingly more out of pity than irritation at this point. "You still blow things WAY out of proportion. Nobody is going to care about or notice any of that, they're just going to replay her Lucario getting his ass kicked over and over again. At least, that's what _I'M_ going to do. Plus, let's be real here, if anything, so many people are part of her little fanclub that they're probably going to be avoiding it like the plague and acting as if it never happened, and giving her excuse after excuse. By this time next week, she'll have probably done enough damage control for people to have forgotten all about it, so I don't think you have anything at all to worry about in regards to being seen as any more of a laughingstock than you usually are. So suck it up, buttercup."

"Gee, thanks, Clare." I said flatly. "Glad to know you think so highly of me."

"Come on, Stone, I was _joking_!" Clary responded with a small laugh. "You're not a laughingstock, that's my point, you doofus! Since when did you start taking things so seriously, anyways? Are you _sure_ you're still the same Stone Hardacre from all those years ago?"

"I mean, I just…" I began, my mind too preoccupied with awful thoughts to even form a coherent thought. "…Look, it's been a long, _long_ day, Clare. And I'm not really sure of anything right now. I'm sorry if I'm coming off as overly negative, I just… I have a lot on my mind. I really want to be able to just rest and relax and hopefully not injure myself anymore than I already have. Please understand."

Clary finally dialed it down a notch, looking at me with concern for a moment before quickly nodding. "Of course, Stone. Sorry, I didn't mean to cause you any more stress or anything like that."

I shook my head and mustered a smile. "Nah, you haven't, Clare. Shoot, you don't know how happy I still am to see you again, I literally never thought I would so much as talk to you ever again. I just… Need time to process shit. Lots and lots of shit…"

"No worries, I got you, fam." Clary said, smiling back and giving me a thumbs up. "It is pretty late, so I guess we really should wait until tomorrow to catch up any further."

"Sounds good." I replied. "Did you, uh, wanna head back to the dorms together?"

Clary's smile quickly drooped as she cast her eyes to the side. "Um, sorry, I would, but I gotta meet back up with the others. I uh, kinda told them I was just using the restroom, so…"

"Oh…" I said. "I uh, don't suppose they'd mind me and Fifi tagging along, would they?"

Clary inhaled sharply through her teeth as her gaze returned to me with a look of regret. "Um, I… Don't think that'd be a great idea right now. They're all still kind of peeved that Axel lost. He's… Not really used to losing, if you couldn't tell. Aaaaaand the others aren't used to him losing, either, and they're like, his personal cheer squad, so… Yeah. B-But um, please, don't hold it against him, he's still a great guy, he just… Doesn't handle things too well when he's not in control. Just give me time to smooth things over, I'm sure by tomorrow everyone will be feeling great again and we'll all be able to hang out, you, me, them, and Coby, too!"

"…Great." I said, not even bothering to hide my complete lack of enthusiasm at this point, causing Clary's hopeful expression to deflate like a sad, dying balloon. "…Speaking of Coby, did he leave already?"

Clary looked back up from her sulk and nodded. "Oh, yeah, he said he was too tired to do anything else tonight, but to tell you and Fifi congratulations, and that he'd text you his room number later so you can meet back up with him tomorrow." As I nodded back and exhaled, Clary began to fret again. "Stone, please, don't be upset! I promise, I'll get things patched up and have everything back to normal by tomorrow! Then we can hang out and do everything together, just like before!"

I nodded and forced another smile, not wanting to ruin Clary's night with my butthurtness. "No worries, I got you, fam."

"Ha, now that's more like the Stone I know." Clary replied, coming over to hug one more set of bruises into me before she left. "I'll call you in the morning, alright? I don't want you to oversleep, after all, since tomorrow is the day we pick our classes and all that other important stuff, and pretty much the only day we'll have to do anything before classes actually start. And you already _know_ I'm going to be dragging you to that big-ass mall that's in the city, so you'd better get some rest!"

"Yes, mother." I said, rolling my eyes before waving Clary off, my smile fading the moment she disappeared from my view. My look of discontent didn't escape Fifi, who squeezed my hand and leaned closer into me now that we were finally all alone.

"Don't let that upset you, Stone. If she'd rather hang around with those idiots than with you, that's her loss." she said, seemingly able to read my mind without actually having to do so. She nuzzled my hand against her cheek, kissing it softly and letting out an airy, contented giggle. "Besides, I'm more than happy to have you all to myself for the rest of the night… And I plan on making you happier than she or anyone else ever could~…"

My chest immediately tightened, as did my pants.

"W-We're still in public, Fi…" I murmured, my eyes darting around for any sign of life. Fi merely let out another silky laugh, giving me a look that only caused my pants to constrict further.

"I know, don't worry. You know I can easily play myself off as a normal Pokémon who just likes to innocently show her affection for her loving master if anyone were to ask or grow suspicious. After all these years of faking it, I think I've gotten it down to an art."

"Can you though, right now…?" I asked, Fifi's actions clearly belying her words. "Even counting all of the public declarations of love, and the blatant hand-holding, I don't recall you ever being this… Amorous…"

"Mmm… You only have yourself to blame for that, silly~." she said, knowing full well that the look she was giving me and the tone of voice she was using were anything but innocent. "I can't help it, you know… It's bad enough just being in heat as it is, but when you keep doing such incredibly sweet things for me like you've been doing, you make it really, really difficult…"

"That's…" I began, my face and every other part of me beginning to grow incredibly warm under Fifi's doting gaze. "…I don't even know what you're talking about, Fi."

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, master." she said without hesitation, drawing far too comfortably close as she gave me the most bedroomy eyes imaginable. "Showing so much concern over something as silly as me fainting, even after I've told you not to stress about it at all. Actually getting the professor to allow me to go to your classes with you, when I was already prepared and dreading to have to be away from you for half the day most days. And those are just the things I've had to deal with since building my public composure back up after… The bathroom incident."

I quickly found myself pinned against the wall as Fi leaned into me, something she thankfully noticed as she ever so slightly backed off enough for me to at least be able to breathe again. She was, of course, undeterred as I shook my head to dispute her claims. "C-Come on, Fi… Those are the kinds of things I always do for you, when do I ever _not_ do stuff like that?"

Fi merely nodded, closing her eyes and clutching her hands to her chest. "I know, master. And that's exactly why I love you so, so much… Everything that you do for me… To you, it may seem like nothing special, because it's just in your nature to be so sweet and kindhearted, regardless of whether you think so or not, and because of that you literally are _always_ doing those kinds of things for me, but… That's exactly why it _is_ so special to me, master. You don't realize just how much those things mean to me. Those things that seem so insignificant and unnoteworthy to you, they mean the world to me, Stone…"

Fifi's voice started to choke up, and tears were beginning to form in the corners of her eyes. "I don't know what I ever did to deserve to have you in my life. You've never had to be as nice as you've always been to me, and you've never had to do all the things that you've done for me… You… You make me feel so special, and important, and… Happy. That's why… That's why I don't care what anyone else thinks about me and how I act towards you, your opinion is the only one that matters to me, master. I love you, and I don't care what the world has to say to that. All I want is to be able to make you as happy as you've always made me. I don't need anyone or anything else besides you and your love, my sweet, precious, wonderful prince…"

My own eyes were stinging with tears once Fifi had finished speaking, as she once more clutched onto me, her face buried into my jacket. My heart was beating so rapidly… I wasn't prepared to handle the emotion behind Fifi's words, and neither was she…

"…We can't do this here, Fi…" I said, doing everything in my power to keep my eyes dry and peeled in case anyone suddenly appeared. "We have to get back to our room…"

Fifi nodded into my side, muttering out a nearly inaudible "S-Sorry…", as she did her best to compose herself, her attempts failing just as badly as my own. I… Couldn't waste any more time. I needed to get us back to our room as soon as possible, before…

Before we both lost control…

* * *

Using the map, we made it back to our room faster than I could've ever hoped to on my own. When we arrived at room 413, the common room was nearly pitch black, which I took as a sign that I had already been beaten here by Edgy and whoever my other two roommates were, which was fine by me, as I didn't want to deal with anyone else tonight. I quickly and silently led Fifi back to our dorm, using my phone's flashlight to keep from stumbling over anything in the darkness.

As we stepped inside, I flipped the light on and locked the door, and no sooner had I done so than Fifi immediately pulled me over towards and onto the bed, pulling me down on top of her and crashing her lips into mine. I had no inclination to resist, my arms instantly wrapping around her as I pushed myself up against her, pressing her body tightly against my own as I maneuvered the both of us further onto the bed into a more comfortable position. I had to break apart from her agonizingly quickly in order to catch my breath from the sudden landing, and she let out a moan, her breath hotter and more labored than ever as she stared pleadingly into my eyes.

"Nngh… Stone… T-Take me… Please… Make me… Your woman…"

I gave her a quick smile in return before bringing my lips to the side of her neck and pressing them into it, eliciting another soft moan from her as I pulled her choker off and threw it to the side. "Nothing would make me happier, Fi…"

"Ahh, Stone… I love you… I love you more than… Anything…" she said breathlessly, her soft, delicate facial fur brushing against my ear and sending chills coursing throughout my body.

"I love you too, Fifi…" I said huskily, my own breath beginning to grow labored as I couldn't keep my lips away from her. "I want to be yours forever… You're the most beautiful, amazing girl in the world, and I want you by my side for the rest of my life… I… God, I fucking… I want you, I want you so fucking bad, Fi…"

"I'm yours, master…" she said, her smile as sweet as ever as I once more found myself entranced by her gorgeous blue eyes. "My heart belongs to you…"

My forehead pressed against hers, I closed my eyes and cupped her cheeks. "And mine to you…"

I pressed my lips deeply into hers, her hands soon shifting to my waist as she began to shakily struggle to pull my shirt and jacket off. I broke away so I could sit up and more easily assist her with it, and she quickly began to focus her efforts into removing my pants instead. Once she had gotten them open, I began to squirm and snake my way out of them, stubbornly refusing to remove myself from Fifi's presence, and-

" _ **RING-RING-RING-RING-RING-RING-RING, BANANA-**_ "

"FUCK!"

I nearly toppled over backwards off of the bed as my phone began to ring and vibrate louder and more obnoxiously than I had ever remembered it doing before in my life. As I struggled to pull it out of my pants' pocket, I accidentally swiped my thumb against the screen, silencing it abruptly. Unfortunately, I hadn't actually silenced it so much as I had accepted the call, as I could immediately hear my mother's voice loudly calling my name from the other end the moment my horrible and soon-to-be replaced ringtone had stopped. Oh, sweet baby Jesus… This… _**Could not**_ be happening right now…

"-hello? Stone? STONE? CAN YOU HEAR US, SWEETIE?"

I stumbled to my feet, again nearly falling over as my pants fell down around my ankles, and I instinctively brought the phone to my ear. Fifi, meanwhile, had pulled herself up to the head of the bed, having gotten just as startled as I had, and had pulled her legs up to her chest and buried her face into her knees as I could hear her muttering in frustration.

"Nngh… D-Damn it…"

"-ARE YOU THERE, STONE? CAN YOU HEAR ANYTHING AT ALL?"

"Y-Yeah, I can hear you, ma, jeez, you don't have to yell!" I replied, far more aggressively than I had intended to.

"I'm not yelling, sweetie, take the phone away from your ear!" she said, and as I did so my stomach dropped even further into my shoes as I caught a glimpse of my entire family staring back at me from my phone screen. God, fuck technology and anyone who thinks it's incredible! I pointed that thing up at the ceiling with a fucking quickness, hoping and praying that none of them had been able to see me standing in my underwear in the state I was in. I very quickly sat down and pulled the blanket around me, and I could hear Flint snorting with laughter on the other end.

"Wow, that sure is one lovely ceiling, bro. Top notch, really! But uh, y'know, we were kind of all hoping to be able to see you instead. I know, what a bunch of weirdos, right?" he said, continuing to howl with laughter as I slowly and carefully brought the phone down to my face so I could glare at him. Once I had the camera focused on my face, I could see his shit-eating grin grow all the wider. "Man, bro, your face is redder than your girlfriend's ear hair! We uh, didn't interrupt anything, did we? You and the missus about to get it on or somethin'?"

Jade managed to beat mom and dad to the punch in smacking Flint upside the back of his head, and his instant look of mass regret told me he had already managed to forget his promise not to say that kind of shit around mom and dad anymore. I let out a heavy, disgusted sigh and shook my head, Jade's distraction thankfully giving me just enough time to compose myself again after hearing Flint's actually-not-at-all-wrong 'joke'.

"No, I was in the middle of changing my clothes, you idiot." I lied, pulling the blanket tighter around me to drive home the fact that it was my only real clothing at the moment. "I accidentally answered while I was pulling my phone out, and it startled me. That's all, _bro_."

Mom quickly spoke up in distress before Flint had a chance to make any more smartass remarks. "Oh, no, I'm sorry, sweetie, we didn't mean to interrupt or embarrass you like that!" she said, looking only slightly less mortified than I felt. "Do you want to finish changing? You can call us right back!"

I shook my head. "No, it's okay, mom. I'm… I'm alright. But, are you guys good? I uh, can't say I was expecting you all to call me this late at night…"

"Oh, of course we're all okay, dear." mom said, her reassuring smile soon morphing into a look of consternation. "We were just worrying about you, is all. The last time you texted us was hours ago, and you still hadn't called and it's already so late, we were just wondering what was going on, and hoping you hadn't run into any trouble. It just isn't like you to not keep in touch, you know?"

I let out a groan at mom's words. I had forgotten all about my earlier text to her telling her I'd call when I got settled in, what with all the everything that had happened since then. "Ah… M-My bad, ma, I didn't mean to worry you. It's just… It's been… A day. But please, don't worry, everything is alright, me and Fifi are both fine, just… Exhausted. We were actually just getting ready to… Um, l-lay down… When you called."

Mom and dad exchanged a quick but deliberate glance with one another, instantly making me regret bringing up Fifi.

"I see…" mom said, her face and voice unreadable. Not for long, though, as she was quick to give me that look of disappointment that she so enjoyed using to guilt trip me and my siblings with. "Well, I understand if you had a rough first day, and I'm very sorry if that's the case, I had so hoped your first day there would go smoothly… But at the same time, I really wish you would have at least texted us again to let us know you were too tired to talk tonight. We would have understood, you know that, honey."

"I know, mom, I'm really sorry." I said, letting my shoulders slump as I really had meant to call her before… Everything else happened. "Is it alright if I, um, call you guys when I get up in the morning? I'm just… Totally drained right now…"

"Of course, dear." mom said, her warm smile returning in an instant. "Sorry again for calling at such an inopportune time, you know we all just worry about you, me in particular."

"Yeah, bro, you know how bad you are at getting lost and also not knowing about things that pretty much everyone else around you knows all about." Flint added, giving me a snide, knowing smirk. "You _are_ my darling little baby brother, after all. I'd hate for you to have had one of your little misadventures on your very first day there and end up lost and alone on the roof or something ridiculous like that."

"Nonsense, Flint, how could he ever have any problems with things like that when he has his helpful, knowledgeable big brother there to give him advice if he ever possibly needed it?" Jade responded, her words dripping with sarcasm.

"Alright, you two, off to bed." dad said firmly, before either of my siblings had a chance to stir anything up. Flint and Jade did as told, and after exchanging goodnights with me, left the picture, leaving me sitting there with just my parents on the other end staring back at me. _Greeeeat_. Dad then beat me to the punch as well, speaking before I had a chance to give him and mom my goodbyes and rush off the phone. "Hey buddy, I know you're tired, but do you think your mother and I could have just a quick word with you before you go?"

My whole body instantly tensed up. "…Um, s-sure, of course, dad. W-What's up?"

"…Is… Fifi with you right now?" dad asked, lowering his voice.

I glanced over at Fifi, and sure enough, she was still right there beside me, staring directly at me and my phone due to hearing her name.

"Of course she is, dad, where else would she be…?" I said, not even bothering to lower my voice since Fifi was going to hear everything regardless, especially now that she was paying attention.

"R-Right, sorry, I meant…" dad began, before quickly shaking his head and grunting. "…I didn't know if she was asleep or not yet."

"Nope. Not yet." I said, shifting my screen over for a moment so he could see her staring back, presuming he would get the hint and realize not to say anything he didn't want her to hear.

"…Er, any chance you could…?"

I quickly shook my head. I had no desire to hide anything from Fifi at this point. "Nope. I'm sitting in my underpants right now, I can't really leave my room at the moment. You can say whatever you need to, though, it's no biggie."

Dad looked back at me in conflicted silence for a few moments, before shifting his gaze over to mom, who nodded her head and seemingly caused him to let out another, louder grunting sigh before looking back at me. "…Alright. We can talk more in the morning, Stone, but… Your mother and I both just wanted to tell you… Sorry. About earlier. We… Didn't mean to sound so harsh and uncaring. I… I definitely didn't mean to say things the way I did, and I understand your getting upset about it. Fifi _is_ your best friend. We know that loud and clear, Stone. I shouldn't have insinuated that she wasn't… Worthy of that status. Fifi is just as much a part of our family as you are, you're right. We… Uh… We just…"

"…We really do just want the best for both of you, sweetie." mom finished, allowing dad to breathe again. "Your uncle called us a little while ago, and he told us how upset you were about what we said. We really, really didn't mean to upset you, Stoney, please believe me when I say that. And… You and your uncle are right, Fifi is capable of making her own decisions, and it was wrong of us to treat her as anything less than another person. You know we love Fifi just as much as you do, and we only want both of you to be happy. And being by each other's side is clearly where you're both at your happiest, so… We have no qualms with that. We just… We don't…" Whatever words mom wanted to say, it was obvious she was having great difficulty in saying them. Finally, she sighed, and looked dead on into my eyes, her voice sharp and clear. "…We don't want you two to make any mistakes that you can't take back."

…Shit.

"…W-What are you implying, mom…?"

"You know exactly what I'm implying, Stone. Please… Don't make me say it."

My mouth had suddenly become a desert. "…You're worrying over nothing, ma. You watch too many of those awful talk shows, things aren't actually like that."

"…Fifi doesn't understand, Stone. And I know, it's not her fault at all, but… She just doesn't. Just… Please. _Please_. Promise us you'll keep your word. She doesn't have to be just your Pokémon. She can continue to be your best friend for the rest of your life. But… She can't be anything more than that."

"…She isn't, mom."

"…We love you, Stone. And we love Fifi, too. Please, get some rest, and we'll talk to you again in the morning. Sweet dreams, dear."

"Y-You too…"

…

…

…Fuck.

My phone fell out of my hand onto the floor. I didn't care. My chest was so tight, I couldn't… Hngh…

…Fifi was no longer looking my way.

"…Fi."

"…"

I turned around to face her, and she turned further away.

"Fi, stop. You know I didn't mean that."

"…"

"Fi, come on! What was I supposed to say? I wasn't… Fuckin' hell, I wasn't expecting to have to… God damn it, Fi, would you just look at me?!"

As I clutched onto Fifi's shoulders, I half expected her to immediately jerk away from me, but… She listened to me. And… Never before had I ever seen such pain in her eyes as there was in that one, single, heart-broken look. She was… Oh, God, Fi…

"Fifi… Please… Will you at least give me a chance to talk?"

"…What does it matter? I'm…"

"You're the love of my life, Fifi. Haven't I proven that to you yet?"

Fifi's gaze lowered instantly. "…Stop it."

"Stop what? Loving you? Because I'm afraid I can't do that, Fi."

Fifi continued to avoid my gaze, shaking her head and pushing herself away from my grasp. "Stop it! Y-You shouldn't… I'm n-not… I'm… I'm your Pokémon… You can't… W-We can't… Sh-Shouldn't…"

"Fi…"

Fifi had isolated herself into the corner, turning her back to me entirely. She was shaking horribly, and I… I didn't know what to do… Damn it! Fi, why do you have to be so…

"Fi, don't do this. _Please_." I said, bringing my hand to her cheek and caressing it, something I knew she wouldn't immediately jerk away from. "This is exactly why I didn't say anything to you, because I knew you would let it eat you up. Okay, so yeah, that's what mom and dad wanted to talk to me about this morning, alright? They were trying to convince me not to even bring you, and I told them they were being stupid and had no idea what they were talking about. And they _still_ don't. They're all worried that we're… W-Well, alright, they had good reason to worry about us being too close. But fuck that, we aren't 'too close', they don't get to decide that for us. We are as close as we want to be, and that's… That's none of their fucking business."

I sighed heavily as Fifi continued to avoid my gaze. I gently cupped her cheek, and moved in close enough that she couldn't avoid me any longer, staring imploringly into her eyes.

"I love you, Fifi. I'll say that so many times you'll get sick of it if I have to. This changes nothing. Mom and dad can't take away what happened between us today. Nobody can. You do realize, they told me all that shit earlier, and yet I still chose to bare my true feelings to you, right? My love for you is far stronger than any fear I might have about them finding out about it. And even if they do, so what? They'll forgive us. Maybe not right away, but they're my parents. You heard what they said, they just want us to be happy. And if they knew how happy us being together made us, they would be happy, too. So don't let that shit get to you, Fi… Please."

Fifi's shaking didn't stop, instead it only seemed to get worse, as more tears began to run down her cheek onto my hand.

"…No… Stone… They're right…" she said, so quietly I could barely hear her, but her voice rose quickly as she continued. "We… We really can't… You would be… Your life would be… Over…"

"Fi, stop that." I interjected. "My life would be over if you were to let this shit ruin yours for no good reason."

Fi stared in silence for a moment before shaking her head and letting out a plaintive little whimper. "No… I can't do this to you… You deserve-"

"I deserve _you_ , Fifi! And you deserve me! We both fucking deserve each other, because… That's all either of us wants."

"…I can't…" Fifi brushed her hand against my face, quickly withdrawing it as she shut her eyes and shook her head violently. "I can't do this to you, Stone! You're… Y-You're my…"

"This is _our_ choice, Fi!" I said, as loudly as I could without fear of anyone else being able to hear me. I took her into my arms. I didn't care how much she squirmed, I wasn't about to let her forfeit everything she had ever wanted in the false hopes of keeping my life from being ruined. "I know what you're going to say. And I don't care about any of that! You said it to me yourself in a way I could never hope to, you said you didn't care what the world thought of you or your feelings for me, so why do you think I feel any different? You can't fool me, I _know_ this is killing you to say these things, especially in the state you're in. Look… We're already past the point of no return, Fi. There is no point in either of us trying to deny our feelings to one another, all that would do is cause us horrible, completely unnecessary heartache and pain. And, I mean… You've already had my fucking dick in your mouth, what difference would it make at this point if I put it in another hole? You've already claimed me as yours, and you're stuck with me now."

Fi had fallen silent, and I had hoped my words had finally gotten through to her. But as her gaze dropped, she let out another whimpering sigh. "…I was… I was selfish, Stone. I put my own selfish desires before anything else without even thinking about how it would affect you and your life… You'll be… Ostracized…"

I instantly flapped my lips together and waved off her claim. "Pfft, no I won't. If you can put on a fake show to the rest of the world, then so can I. I don't _want_ to have to, and I know you don't either, but if it means we can be together, I'll do whatever it takes."

Fifi looked back up. Her gaze was… Piercing. "Stone… Don't… Don't do this… Please… I'll… I'll be… F-Fine… Nngh…"

"That was terrible, Fi." I said, chuckling softly, and causing her to pout. "And you're usually aces when it comes to lying, so I _know_ you didn't even try to sound convincing with that."

"D-Damn it, I can't help it!" she huffed, letting out a particularly fed up sounding groan, as she folded her arms and looked away again, her sulking voice quickly trailing off into nothingness. "Why… Why do you have to be so… So fucking…"

"…Stubborn?" I said, giving her a little grin before shrugging. "I don't know. Guess you've just rubbed off on me too much."

The annoyance on Fifi's face quickly faded away, her ears falling flat as she bowed her head and tentatively looked back up at me. "…You're really going to… Do this…? For _me_ …?"

I nodded firmly. "Of course. What can I say? You already know that everything I do, I do it for you, and well, like you said, I can't help it, it's just in my nature." I gently lifted her chin, and wiped away her remaining tears. " _Anything_ to make you happy, Fi. And this time, I truly mean it. I appreciate you trying to martyr everything you've ever wanted to save me from a life of torment, but it's wholly unnecessary. The only life of torment I could ever have is one where I'm not allowed to return your love."

Fifi placed her hand atop of mine, as her smile, at long last, finally returned to her face. "…I don't deserve you."

I cast aside my gaze and let out a small laugh. "Yeah, you're right, Fi, you deserve way better than my dumb ass."

"…Shut up, Stone. That's my line…" she said, giving me her usual groan about my behavior, which was a welcome sign.

"You know…" I began, realizing her groan was probably not without its merits. "Why don't we both just stop shitting on ourselves for once? It's kind of ridiculous in this situation, don't you think?"

"…"

"…Come on. You _know_ you want to mock my horrible phrasing and say something about neither of us being into scat anyways."

"…You're the worst, Stone."

"I mean… I won't dispute that."

Finally, I had managed to make her crack, a short, exasperated little laugh escaping from her lips as she closed her eyes and lightly shook her head at me. When she opened them, they were once more filled with all the love and tenderness that I had grown so accustomed to seeing in them. "…Alright. You win, Stone. I'm… I'm giving in. I'll be selfish. But… I want you to realize… I'm never, ever going to hold back from this moment on. I love you. I… Can't say that enough. I will never be able to tell you in words just how much I love you. You're my everything… And… I want to be the same for you… I _will_ be. It's the only way I can ever repay you for what you're doing for me right now… What you've always done for me. I'll make you the happiest man in the world, master. And… Even if I can never truly be your bride, I vow to be yours, from now until the end of time. I won't let anyone or anything tear us apart. Because… I love you."

"That's all I want, Fifi." I said, pulling her close to me, holding her in my arms where she belonged. "You don't have to do anything else to make me the happiest man in the world; I already am, because I have you."

I leaned in towards Fifi, and she eagerly met me halfway, seemingly just as overwhelmed by her emotions as I was. I quickly lost track of everything else around us as I found myself hopelessly lost in her powerful, indescribably passionate kiss, my mind giving way to my urges completely as I hungrily pushed back, our tongues entwined in a championship-caliber wrestling match that neither of them wanted to lose. Fifi really wasn't holding back anymore… And neither was I. How long had Fifi been waiting for this moment? How long had I? To finally be able to show our love for each other, purely, truly, no longer worrying in the slightest about crossing any more made-up, idiotic boundaries…

"…Fi…"

 _You're the greatest, Fi…_

"Mmn… _**Masterrr**_ …"

 _Nngh… F-Fi… When you moan like that… God… It's… Too much…_

"… _G-Good…_ "

Finally, we broke apart, both of us gasping for air as if we had just come up from an extended deep sea dive. My mind was still foggy as I came to my senses, though the two of us unintentionally mentally linking probably had something to do with that. I… Didn't even know we could do that on accident…

"Master… Thank you… For everything…" Fifi's heartfelt look was almost too much for me to take… And she seemed to notice, as that utterly pure expression soon began to turn into something much more… Carnal. "But… Even if you _say_ I don't have to do anything else to make you happy, I'm sure there's at least _one_ thing I can do to make you even happier…"

In one smooth motion, Fifi pushed herself back, falling back onto the bed's sole pillow, and she looked up at me with a very mischievous, very provocative smile.

"…I know it'll make _me_ happier, at least…"

* * *

Aaaaaand I'm sure you all can tell where things are going from here. It's all available over on AO3, so uh, yeah, I'm going to leave my actual author's note over there. Feel free to come back here afterwards to leave comments if you have any. But yeah, see you all over there!


End file.
